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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Almost 50

carter

Veteran

I'll be 50 in about 6 weeks, and I have to say, it has thrown me for a loop. I have spent much of this year in quite a funk about it. In the past few months though, I have found great joy in planning for life after 50 (cutting back my work schedule, more travelling, more time for hobbies, spending great time with my husband and adult/almost adult children, and investing more time and effort in myself). It's that last item that applies here.

My birthday present to myself has been to purge and rebuild my wardrobe in a thoughtful and planned manner. Although I run my business from home, I do go out for client meetings nearly everyday. I am very happy with my now-upgraded "leave the house" wardrobe (both for work and running errands). However, I am stymied by my "around the house" look. My poor husband of 7 years generally only sees me in my morning carpool outfit (yoga pants, over-sized sweatshirt, no make up, hair in scrunchi) or my evening cooking/chores outfit (loose jeans and old button-down).

I would love some suggestions for upgrading this before/after hours part of my look. I am not a morning person, so that piece has to be super easy...leaning toward a cute work-out outfit or something equally easy that takes no thought/accessorizing, etc. After work needs to be comfortable, easy care (since I'm usually cooking, cleaning, etc)...something that says "I made an effort" that actually takes no effort at all would be ideal:-).

Thoughts? Suggestions? What do you wear at home?

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from cciele

Anonymous

Hi, Carter. It's my turn next May to join you in the big 50. I have a son of nearly 10 though and I work from home too. I wear jeans quite a lot and I tend to put them on first thing and leave them on all day. I just put on a nice top and belt that coordinate. I also like skirts and I find them comfy, or a dress in a stretchy fabric, for comfort. I have never been one for lounge wear at all so I just make sure my every day clothes are comfy. I sometimes have clients call for fittings (I'm a seamstress) So on those days I wear something a bit smarter, but I still tend to keep it on, or I may change just into my older jeans at evening meal time. Because I work from home and I'm at home a lot, I've always just got used to making a bit more of an effort. Like I say, I don't possess loungewear. If I were you I would try to decide what you find most comfortable to wear and just upgrade it a little. Nice tops, colourful accessories, belts, scarves. All can make an outfit more intentional. Try Angie's posts for MOTG looks for loads of inspiration.

t

I work from home as well. I know exactly how you feel and I recently made it a point to upgrade my "at home" look. I'm really into a soft, fitted sweater or cardigan and jeans that have stretch in them. I recently found a pair of jeans that have a waistband instead of a zipper/button (made by Jag, I believe - they are a dark wash boot cut). They are as comfortable as yoga pants! If I leave the house I add a fun scarf.

This year, I have also been getting up about 30 minutes before I wake my son. I make an effort to take a quick shower, put on minimal makeup, and get dressed in my clothes for the day. I haven't missed a day yet and I really get a burst of energy by feeling ready and more together for our walk to the bus stop.

Best of luck with the wardrobe overhaul. You will be 50 and fabulous, I'm sure!

Anonymous

I'm with you 't' I always put on make-up before seeing to my son. I wear a full face of make up every day and at least minimal at weekends too. I'd look ghastly pale and ill without it, lol! I read somewhere that if you keep a pair of shoes for indoor wear, that getting dressed including shoes helps you to feel and act professional if you work from home. It's something I've yet to try.

El Cee

Veteran

Hi Carter -- And an early welcome to the 50+ club! I am soon to turn the corner on 56 and, I must honestly say, that I am really loving this stage of life. Love your idea of giving yourself a "purge and rebuild" present. Wish I had thought to do that. I am still working on my "around the house" look, which used to be (sadly) PJ's or sweats & tees. I have upgraded to ponte knit pants and tunic or sweater in winter, and jeans (mostly boyfriend style -- 'cause they are roomy and comfy) plus a knit top in other seasons. In the real heat of summer, I sometimes prefer to wear a cotton-rich knit dress with sandals. Now I am no longer scared to open the door for the UPS man, or to run to my mailbox... and I imagine that my husband also appreciates the extra effort I am making. The big plus is that any of these outfits could also be worn for a quick trip outside of the house without any embarrassment. Happy Birthday in advance!

carter

Veteran

Diane, you are a better woman than I for managing to shower and dress before heading to the bus stop! I work out when I get back from driving carpool, so my shower happens later by necessity. My workwear generally involves heels, so I really do have to get out of those suckers at the end of the day! I think you're right though...I'm going to just have to make a bit more effort.

T, those jeans sound like a great idea. I'll track them down. I could also use some soft fitted light-weight sweaters. The combo sounds like a great upgrade with the same ease as my yoga pants/sweatshirt loveliness.

carter

Veteran

El Cee, the ponte pants are a great idea too! The poor UPS guy...he just rings the bell and takes off now. Guess he's tired of my shlub too!

Anonymous

I have to admit to being an evening showerer, and if I do exercise its a 20 min walk after school run. Anything more of a workout is done late afternoon and I would shower after that. I've also got quite quick at putting my face on!
You know I bet something like the VC tube skirt would work for you. All the ladies that have them say how comfortable they are.

El Cee

Veteran

LOL Carter!!! I imagine that UPS guy sees far scarier things than the likes of us in his work day... say angry dogs?

carter

Veteran

Diane, what's a VC tube skirt?

Gaylene

Veteran

My fifties were a fabulous decade because I finally had/made time for myself. It was also the decade where I finally came into my own fashion-wise because I started realizing that I looked better when I wore what I wanted instead of what I thought I ought to be wearing.

My thoughts for this decade:

NOTHING is too precious that it can't be worn every day. Well, maybe not your ball gowns, but otherwise wear the heck out of your "good" clothes. Use an apron if you need to do something messy.
Invest in really good undies. Beautiful, well-fitting bras and knickers make you feel wonderful and make a huge difference in the look of your clothes.
Gear is for working out, but there is nothing wrong with putting on a cute hoodie and a pair of nicely fitting yoga pants when you first get up in the morning, or when you are lounging in front of the TV at night. Buy sweats and gear in colors that lift your spirits. Be ruthless at purging any lounge wear that looks baggy, stained, faded, or worn out.
Always fix your hair and apply a dab of make-up in the morning. Young girls look fabulous with bare faces and messy updos, but, as you get a bit older, the casual beauty vibe can end up just making you feel sloppy and frumpy.
Buy and wear clothes with a high happiness factor. Spend a bit more on fewer items so you can enjoy the feel/look of cashmere, better fabrics, and good design. Leave the inexpensive, teenage stuff in the stores for the younger crowd and go for a more sophisticated look. You've spend enough time on the planet to earn the right to dress like a fabulous woman instead of a gawky teenager. Don't wear anything that doesn't make you feel good about yourself and your body.
Last, but not least, embrace being an older woman. You've raised a family, developed a business, learned how to work with people, come to terms with your strengths and weaknesses, handled crises, and, in general, lived a life. Now is the time to reap some of the rewards of being able to speak your mind, listen and advise (but only when asked!), and spending your time and energy on what matters to you.

Oh, and just another thought--my favorite lounge outfit is a cashmere sweater worn with slim, but stretchy, pants. I wash my cashmere in the machine on a delicate cycle with a bit of detergent and an extra rinse cycle and let it dry it flat. My sweaters get softer and cosier as the years go by; my favorite $$$ cashmere hoodie is going on ten years and the CPW is probably down to pennies but the happiness factor is as high as ever.

cade

Gaylene just saved me from writing a long post. What she said.

nancylee

Veteran

It sounds like you're on the right track with revamping your wardrobe, Carter. That's an excellent thing to do at this big turning point in your life.

You've gotten some great advice about how to dress for a work-at-home life, so I'll just add that in my experience (I'm 52 now) the anticipation of turning 50 was a whole lot worse than the reality. Once the day came and went I realized that it really was a state of mind. It's not like you walk around town with a tag proclaiming your age, so just walk on with confidence and pride.

Anonymous

Carter, the VC tube skirt is a pencil style skirt made of stretch jersey fabric. Its a Vince Camuto made skirt. I live in the UK so not a brand we have here but we do have similar styles. The skirt comes in stripes and plains, and maybe some pattern? Heres a post relating to it :http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....e-skirt-24 but there are also lots of WIW's from some of the lovely Fabbers on here. Everyone says how the skirts can be dressed up or down and feel like loungewear. Gaylenes post above is fab though. She is so eloquent and of course right

t

Carter - I found the jeans at TJ Maxx (score!) and I've seen styles like it at Von Maur and even SteinMart.

Diane G - I am laughing because I never leave the house without some makeup...blonde hair, very pale skin, and light green eyes. I disappear without it.

carter

Veteran

Wow! You ladies are fantastic!

Nancylee, I expect you are 100% right on the anticipation being worse than the reality. Thanks for the encouragement.

Thanks for the scoop on the skirt, Diane. I will check it out. I am brand new to the forum, so I think I have to wait three days to see all the wonderful WIW pictures. Looking forward to that!

Gaylene. Such words of wisdom. I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. I only have one older woman in my life, and I have to really pry this kind of stuff out of her.

"Nothing is too precious that it can't be worn everyday". Obviously, I do struggle with this. I completely agree with the concept, but I must work on the execution.

Definitely new undies for me. What a fabulous idea! My husband will like that one too:). I also resolve to start calling them knickers...I love that!

Well, all my loungewear must go. New comfy slip on pants and a less-unisex top are necessities for the morning. I do have some really cute gym wear that I could slip on before carpool since I work out right afterwards anyway.

I have definitely mastered "sloppy and frumpy" in the morning. I promise to work on that.

"Buy and wear clothes with a high happiness factor...spend a bit more, etc." I agree completely. I have totally taken this to heart with my work wardrobe upgrade, and I have to say, I feel fantastic in my new clothes (and I think I look pretty cute too!).

"Embrace being an older woman..." You know, it's funny, I really thought I had this mastered around 45, but I obviously need to do better with this. I have paid my dues, experienced great success, had a few missteps along the way, and basically have a life and a family that bring me great joy. I think it's time to celebrate. Thank you for reminding me.

Ooh...a cashmere hoodie. I think I need one of those.

carter

Veteran

T, it takes very little provocation to get me to TJ Maxx. I will stop there tomorrow!

unfrumped

Veteran

What Gaylene said.

I'd add, look for really good fits for you, in whatever type of loungewear or casual wear. Sometimes this takes some looking, but being particular pays off.

For example, I wear tailored waistbands all day most days at work and I really want something looser or stretchy after work. Drawstring-type pants can be comfy, but can look like a sack. With a bit of shopping effort I've found pants with really flat well-fitted flat waistbands but still stretchy; or the stretchy jeans look; pants that are tapered a bit like more dressy pants but with a bit more ease for lounging; and for yoga pants, find ones that fit really well and flattering-ly; and for tops, get easy but not sloppy fit. Cardigans with a bit of ruffle or henleys with trim also can look a bit nicer than a stretched out gray T shirt. I also want comfy feet--sometimes even athletic shoes are too confining--but if I'm doing chores and maybe going in and out of the house a bit, I don't want cloth-bottomed slippers. I've found a few types of indoor-outdoor slipper-shoes that are sized just loose enough to feel aahhhh! but stay on well and look better than the fuzzy-wuzzies.

In general I'm looking at TJMaxx and Target for these types of clothes, but have had some great luck with sales of higher-quality clothing that perhaps was not even meant as loungewear, but has the fit and comfort that I need.

The key is the clothing has to be so comfortable you'll really wear it instead of your jammmies, but pay attention to decent fit, "happy" colors (including your favorite soothing neutrals), and that they are in good condition.

rachylou

Veteran

I like pull on faux-wrap, jersey dresses. Easy and comfy and flattering. They do leave the knees exposed to the cold tho...

carter

Veteran

Unfrumped--great items to add to my list. You are so right about comfort level to keep me from backsliding.

Rachylou--I'll try a jersey wrap dress for weekends. Sounds great.

Runcarla

Veteran

What Gaylene said. 50 was no trouble! Actually looked forward to it, because it put me into a new age group in my sport, and I wouldn't have to compete with those fierce 40 year olds any more!

With mortgage paid off, debt free, and kids relatively independent young adults, there is time and money to care for myself in a way that I didn't in my 30's and 40's. I love my 50's (will be 53 in 2 weeks) and wouldn't go back to revisit any other decade, even if given the choice.

Still working on having an all around fab wardrobe, but sports gear is sorted! It was the first thing I upgraded when I turned 50! The rest is still a work in progress, but better now then when I first started following YLF.

carter

Veteran

Runcarla, I must find a 59 year old workout buddy so I can be the "fierce" 50 year old! My workout gear was one of the first things I upgraded too. Looking cute makes working out so much more tolerable.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Welcome, Carter! What a wonderful birthday gift you are giving yourself. I wasn't exactly conscious of that...but I suspect it's what I was doing, too, when I joined here a couple of years ago. I have been having fun with fashion ever since!

I work from home, and over the last few years it's been a pet project to figure out what actually works for my work-at-home days -- and then find it and buy it. What I've discovered is that my work-at-home days really are different (with different clothing requirements) than my out-meeting-doing-stuff days, and it's okay to have two wardrobe "capsules" for this -- ideally with some overlap.

I follow a system rather like Diane's -- except that I do have and wear workout clothes. I tend to work out in the morning so I will put on the workout clothes first thing. I get my daughter ready for school and such and then do my workout. After which I shower and get into "real" clothes. But they need to be almost as comfy as pyjamas. Especially in winter (I live in a cold climate) I really look for that.

So...in winter:

Jeans -- either boyfriend style 100% cotton with looseness, or something with a little slouch or ease to it.
Stretch skinnies (e.g. GAP Really Skinnies) or ponte pants of some type.
Knitwear -- usually a cashmere, merino, or cotton pullover, in my case.
Sometimes a scarf; usually a belt.
Socks.
Slippers.

And that's it. Most of these outfits can be topped by a blazer and/ or coat if I am going out, and obviously I'll add shoes or boots and bag then, too.

It's a very simple and casual formula, but it works. I make sure the items are washable (I wash wools in my machine on delicate and air dry) and I roll my sleeves and wear an apron if I am cooking. If I'm doing garden work or similar I wear "gear" like stuff.

I also second Rachylou's suggestion for a jersey dress. It's can feel as easy as PJs! Sometimes my husband and I have an at home "date night" and make a special meal for ourselves, and I'll put something like that on. He thinks I bothered to "dress up."

Depending on your body type, you might also like leggings and tunics. I haven't got a lot in that department because it can be a bit leg-shortening on short-legged me.

In summer, I have a whole different set of requirements due to the weather; I wear tons of skirts and dresses in the summer, even for work-at-home. But also shorts with woven tops, since I find wovens cooler in summer.

I guess this is a long-winded way of saying, don't forget your climate!

I second Gaylene's wise counsel to buy great underwear, to get rid of substandard stuff (ooops --- I need to deal with my PJ capsule!!) and to freshen up with a bit of makeup.

But ultimately, a great apron or two can be a fab investment. Make sure they are bibbed, big enough to cover your front, and also, make sure you are wearing sleeves that can be rolled up or pushed back if you're cooking, cleaning, etc.

havanagirl

This has been a great to read. I was recently thinking that I needed to update my loungewear, but after reading this, I like the idea of having a cashmere sweater that I wear at home!

Anonymous

I am approaching 50 myself and I've really enjoyed reading your thread. Gaylene had some excellent advice, as usual! I really like the idea of celebrating this milestone with some great clothes and treating yourself kindly. The last year or so, I've been asking myself with each purchase, "Is this something I want to bring into my 50's with me?" In other words, is it good enough, nice quality befitting a 50 year old? I don't want to wear teeny bopper clothes anymore. Even if I can fit into them, they do nothing for me. I'll be staying tuned here for more great advice.

Helenedith

This is a timely reminder that I need to update the clothes I change into when I arrive home from work. It is usually past it's best and I have ignored the importance of looking my best at all times as I live alone. And of course if someone knocks on the door I feel 'very caught out'

Michelle

(website)

Having just turned 50 a few months ago as well, I say "ditto" to everything that has been said. Age really is just a number. Taking care of yourself, and paying attention to the vibe you put forward makes a world of difference.

Joy

Veteran

Enjoy your 50's! I found turning 51 much harder than turning 50, maybe because 50 gets lots of celebration.
You have lots of great advice. I'm pushing toward 70 and wear jeans or heavy Ponte knit pants with the front zipper and 5-pocket jean styling almost every day. Structure usually looks best, or at least somewhere in the outfit.
I wear bib aprons to cook and like the kind with a big pocket for cleaning house to stow things that I find in the wrong place.
I'd also advise you to invest in at least one leather jacket, an easy way to dress up a casual jeans outfit. Find comfortable shoes that are not sneakers, like flat booties.

carter

Veteran

Armed with such awesome advice, I've made great progress already. I spent some time playing in my closet this morning. I have 2 pair of ponte slip-on pants in my work at home capsule. I am moving these to my loungewear capsule to replace my old yoga pants for Fall and Winter. I also bought a couple super soft cotton fitted sweaters when I was visiting my daughter last week. I intended to wear these with jeans for casual weekends, errands, etc. Instead, I'm moving these to the loungewear category to replace my sloppy sweatshirts and old shapeless button downs. Absolutely as comfy as my shlubby wear but so much cuter! I'll be on the lookout for a couple warmer sweaters for Winter, some pull-on comfy jeans and a cashmere hoodie (because I so love this idea). Also, as Unfrumped mentioned, my fuzzy slippers just don't make the cut. I love the fuzziness of the lining for colder weather, but I think a loafer/moccasin style would be significantly better, so these are on my list as well.

I was talking with my husband last night about all of your great advice. He insists that my shlub wear doesn't bother him, but I know he'll greatly appreciate the upgrade. He did, however, really latch on to the idea of upgraded bras and panties!

Freckles

Veteran

As part of the 50+ club what a lot of wonderful advice you have gotten. Age has never been an issue with me but I did have a celebration on my 51st b'day. Something about being over half a century old appealed to my sense of humor.

I totally agree about the cashmere. While I've alwsys been a wool person never ventured into cashmere until last winter. I got two turtlenecks and love them, although I wear one to death and hardly ever reach for the other one due to colour.

I use a bib apron but I find I need more than that even though I push up my sleeves like Suz suggested. I have an old fleece blazer that I throw over it to cook or clean. The fleece, I know...yuck fashion fail, washes wonderfully no matter what you spill on it. After doing chores I just change my topper to either my cashmere/wool sweater coat or now my new aran sweater.

Congratulations on reaching a wonderful time of life.

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