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All Over The Map - musings

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I have a few minutes (11 to be exact) before heading into a meeting and wanted to quickly jot down some thoughts and observations lately about my style and hear what you think and see relative to those.

I used to know what my style was and my rubric involved structure, color, urban, and retro. Much of that has changed with my new-found need for comfort and ease in my outfits. It has also changed somewhat due to my foot issues and the need to remove most heels from my wardrobe.

But I'm starting to wonder if what I identified as a need for comfort and ease in my outfits is actually an overall unhappiness with my body and shape and the need to disguise/hide it. Whoa...that was actually a little painful to put in writing... (I won't get into what I'm doing in order to try and remedy my weight - y'all have heard enough about that.)

And I'm wondering if this need to hide this area or that area is actually causing me to make purchases that later on I will regret?

My style appears to be all over the map - this week is a perfect example. One day I wore a black suit with a crisp white shirt where everything was reasonably tailored and then the next day I wore a "sack style" dress with a drape cardigan. I mean...WHO AM I???

Anyway...gotta run to my meeting. Will do some more thinking and come back.

General

28 replies

Latest reply was from Michelle

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I was just thinking this last week, Shannon. And wondering how long your need for unstructured clothing was going to last. Over the years so far, you've always come back to a more structured look. I think that the variety of BOTH outfit silhouettes is where you are at. So it's a very intentional "all over the map". Wear unstructured when it suits your mood and head space, and vice versa. All good. xo

Alassë

Veteran

Hmm. That's an insightful question, Shannon. Imagine this scenario: your body is where you want it. How would you dress for a week of work? Do the drape-y outfits have appeal, or would you reach for structure each day? Conversely, would you want a little unstructured for variety's sake, like drape-y Monday?

Neel

Veteran

I am with Angie here .... I think you should enjoy while it lasts :). There is nothing wrong in dressing in a sack dress if it makes you feel good :).

Peri

Veteran

I don't think we have one "self" anyway. I've never met a one dimensional person and don't think I would like them if I did...too boring.

I like comedies and dramas. I like to talk to people and I like to read by myself. I like chocolate and I like vegetables.

We can go too far with these style labels. What you like is much more important than what category it might fit into.

Diana

Veteran

I think you're turning into an eclectic, my dear. =D I love it. It means you don't have to choose.

MsMary

Veteran

I agree with the crowd. I don't think there's one single thing wrong with dressing all over the map. You look great every single day, so enjoy the variety!

Anonymous

I agree with Diana, I think you're turning into an eclectic too. Just enjoy the ride!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Well, I have an answer. You are our own beautiful Shannon, and everything you wear suits you to a (drapey, linen blend, EF) tee!!

(So to speak, LOL.)

In all seriousness, I know that body dysmorphia can send us reaching for stretchy, soft, and forgiving -- but heck, so can winter weather, at least in my life!

And there is nothing wrong (or crazy) about having both options in the closet. I know I do. I was just mentioning this the other day. My work-at-home persona craves comfort, softness, ease, and is super casual. My out-in-the-world persona likes structure, crispness, and refinement. But these meld together in my smart casual looks and I find a way to be happy with different types of pieces.

Meanwhile, I actually see a lot of consistency in your current choices. While some outfits may be primarily drapey and soft, they always include some element of structure.

What's more, you've bought high quality items for the most part, in beautiful, flattering designs, and colours that look great. I can't imagine you will be sorry you made those purchases. Most of the EF items can easily be mixed with more structured items in your closet (as you've already demonstrated). If your size changes, you may have to give them up or alter them, but that would be true no matter what you had bought.

You're dressing for the body you have and looking fantastic every day. What's not to love about that?

Kristin SF

Veteran

Just popping in to say, Wow. I love each and every response above. What an amazing group of women!!

DonnaF

Veteran

FWIW, I've never had the impression that you've been hiding or disguising your body. I've always admired how you can carry off those drapey looks; not everyone can. I would consider this more an adjacent direction for you vs. "all over the map." Now, if you were to venture into Festival Style (is that what it's called?), then I might be concerned.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Such good questions, Shannon! I feel like my style is all over the map, too. I feel like I'm still defining it. But I am also an eclectic, which involves a certain amount of map-roving.
I find your outfits really appealing--I look at your WIW posts and think, Wow, I'd like to look like that!! You seem to have a strong creative streak, and I think that you may like to bring disparate elements together, whether in one outfit at times or in your wardrobe overall. You dress like no one else on this forum; your style seems well honed to me, and uniquely you. The clothes you wear are always flattering, so it stands to reason that if your body has changed, the silhouettes have changed a bit, too. Even "just flattering enough" looks relate to one's body shape. It will be interesting to see how your style evolves, though, as you grapple with this question of "who am I?" and body changes.

Oh, and I think the crisp white shirt outfit was a bit different from your norm, but it was also an outfit you wore for an important meeting--something that doesn't happen every day. We all dress differently for those types of occasions. The outfit did not look uncharacteristic for you, though.

Anonymous

I cannot articulate it any better than Sharan just did. I second those thoughts about you and your style- exactly.

gryffin

Veteran

Wow Shannon that's a very interesting question. In a way I'm perplexed since I like and own either very fitted tailored clothing or oversized. I've never thought about the change in silhouette, for myself, as inconsistent because my color choices are so restrained and all my clothes have a simple yet interesting minimalist aesthetic. I must stay, in all honesty, you are one of the people who's style I admire most on the forum. You always look terrific. Adorable hair cut, great glasses and elegant, professional, interesting outfits with great footwear and fab accessories. To my eye, all your outfits are "very Shannon" even if I can't articulate exactly what that is, I recognize it. Tailored or unstructured - clean, elegant, flattering, unfussy, always with subtle points of interest but no one piece overwhelming the whole - pitch perfect balance. We all get those moment when we start evolving or yes, up a couple of pounds, nothing looks or feels as good and I empathize, but from the peanut gallery I think you look awesome!! Hugs kiddo and sorry you're not feeling as wonderful as you look!!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Nodding along with gryffin and Sharan. In short, you look fab!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Agreeing with gryffin & Firecracker too. IMO the white shirt was structured yes but it also had drape (the centre folds) so it is a professional version of your more drapey looks. You also wear the sack dress with a jacket which incorporates both elements.

As an eclectic, who was sick of my all over the place wardrobe, the key for me has been to reduce the number of silhouettes & colours I wear. You seem to have done that already. Personally I love both drape & structure & wouldn't want to live without either

jackiec

Veteran

Totally agreeing with Suz, Sharan, gryffin and others!

You always look amazing. You are buying high end, quality pieces and it shows. You don't appear to be hiding but rather shining

Runcarla

Veteran

Agreeing with Caro. Although you have expanded the silhouettes you wear, you have narrowed your colour choices. You (and MsMary) are my workwear style icons!

catgirl

Veteran

Welcome to my world. I try to compromise by wearing structured for comfort zone areas and slouch/ease elsewhere. Hence, skinnies and tunics or sack dresses and boots. It doesn't have to be one or the other!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree that it doesn't have to be one or the other -- I see absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a drapey outfit one day when the mood strikes, and a crisp tailored look the next! But I'm enough of an eclectic, non-uniform person that I resist the idea of sticking to a single silhouette. I say explore and enjoy!

Deborah

Veteran

Shannon, as I often do, I find my self relating very much to your musings. I have actually asked myself the same question recently. My weight is not where I like it to be and my waist has all but disappeared (for the moment lol). But I asked myself would I still want to wear the same clothes if I were slender? The answer was yes! I also love structured and unstructured pieces and particularly for work I have been working on mixing the two which often equates to say a structured slim leg pant with a draped top, a draped dress or slouchy pants with a tailored jacket. I tend to use my jackets/blazers to bring in some structure at the office:) I personally do not see your style as all over the map. All over the map, to me, would be if I opened one of your WIW's and I couldn't see YOU for the outfit. I agree with Caro's comment re the white shirt. It wasn't your standard white button down, it has a very interesting design. You mentioned the two recent outfits, the suit look and the gorgeous sack dress outfit... look at the similarities rather than the differences. Both are extremely well put together outfits. One was tonal the other a strong contrast with the black and white, but still so well put together, exuding simplicity, and elegance, with interest (not your stock standard pieces) and a nice dose of modern. If I saw both outfits hanging on hangers, I would not expect them to belong to two different people. I think there is cohesion in your wardrobe. Also I would rather have fabulous clothes that suit the body I have now, and if necessary take them all for alterations should my body change:) Anyhow, I encourage you to look for the similarities in your outfits and maybe a renewed rubric is in order?

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

First of all, can I say how warm and wonderful each and every one of you is? Seriously. Although I didn't post this thread to elicit compliments, I thank you.

Angie - very interesting that you put it as "intentional all over the map". I have to think about that a bit as that hadn't even popped into my head.

Alasse - that's a great question. To be honest, I suspect if I were at my ideal weight and size, I would wear more tailored clothing to show that shape a bit more.

Peri - for those who have been on the forum with me the past 3+ years, you know I've wrestled from time to time on articulating my style. I don't know why I get hung up on it every once in a while. I think before I just felt much more certain of who I was stylistically and therefore always felt quite sure about my purchases.

Diana - me eclectic??? Huh. Could very well be. Maybe control-freak me is wrestling with creative me and it's merging into this new electic style?

Suz - I so appreciate your insights and kind words. I wonder why I worry that having both options of structure and drape is somehow wrong?

DonnaF - LOL! I promise no "Festival" style

Sharan - I got quite the lump in my throat reading your beautiful words How kind you are. Juxtaposition in an outfit is one of my favourite style elements so maybe my entire closet is developing an overall juxtaposition? I guess I do have a style that is somewhat unique to me - I'm not sure how that developed over time. Maybe that's where some of my angst comes from too - I find myself often comparing my outfits to others' outfits.

gryffin - good grief woman! First the lump in my throat from Sharan and now teary eyes from you!

Caro - maybe Diana is right and there's a little bit of eclectic in me screaming to get out? I have definitely narrowed down my colour choices this year in my wardrobe and having purged a ton of stuff in the past six months, my closet does feel more cohesive.

Deborah - once again, you and I are on the same wavelength So you would wear the same style if you were a different size and yet I'm not sure for myself if I would. I haven't figured that one out yet.

You have all given me much to think about and I can't thank you enough for your feedback. I'm going to mull this all over some more and may be back with further comments.

Deborah

Veteran

LOL, Shannon if I were a different size I might occasionally belt some of my outfits for a slightly different silhouette

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I wonder why I worry that having both options of structure and drape is somehow wrong?

I wonder, too, Shannon. Because with one part of yourself you know that the two can be happily married; after all, your fantastic outfits marry them every day.

But your question has me thinking. In my creative work I sometimes come up against assumptions like this. I'll catch myself believing or acting on an idea that, with another part of myself, I know to be false!

Typically, when that happens, the resulting friction can be valuable. (Not necessarily fun, but valuable, LOL,)

You know what I mean? I think we should trust our hunches, intuitions, and even our tensions. Who knows? This might lead you to the next leap in your style (and life) journey.

Anyway...just to add to what others have already said, and I also mentioned, I do see great consistency in your style, not only in its current manifestation but also between the "old" Shannon and the "new" Shannon. You have always loved a pencil skirt (and still do). You have always loved a jacket for structure -- and although you wear more cardigans or pullovers lately than you did in the past, there is always structure elsewhere in the outfit. There's less retro and whimsy than there may have been in the past, and a bit more elegance and minimalism. But your core silhouettes remain consistent.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am not sure if I really have anything to add to all the beautifully put thoughts on this thread. I think Gryffin's was the closest to my first reaction - you are one of my biggest inspirations here and whatever you are doing, it is working fabulously. No need to pin yourself down to a definition.

As for the connection to body image, I find when I am less happy with how I look I tend to wear more structure, more traditionally flattering cuts and so on, which is sort of the opposite of what you are concerned that you are doing. My point being that lack of structure can be a positive aesthetic choice not just a means to hide a body!

Beth Ann

Veteran

I could read through the comments and add a butt-load of "Amens" (although the metaphor makes me think of a lot of nekkid people sitting in pews). Your work makes me think that you must be far more adept at working with organizational systems and details than I am, but you seem to have a strong creative streak too, perhaps all the stronger because your work requires such focus. You crave experimentation and variety, while placing a high value on a strong and consistent personal style. Oh........and you sometimes struggle to dismiss the message from our advertising culture that only tall angular body types can be truly beautiful.

I never look at your WIW thinking, "It's a shame that Shannon isn't 20lbs slimmer. She'd look so much better." I don't really notice slight variations in your weight --- and I'm hyper aware of my own, so you'd think I would.

I see you. I like the way you shift style direction while retaining consistent threads like a love of color, pencil skirts, and a balance of drape and structure.

Now, I get the whole "camo dressing" issue. I've been catching myself dressing to hide also. Somehow, it feels like a moral failing, not to have the "perfect body." Ridiculous, isn't it? To not enjoy bodies that are strong and healthy, attractive and vibrant, just because they don't meet a narrow standard. I've resolved to not apologize with my dressing. I'm trying, in the midst of a stressful season, to cook nourishing food and enjoy it, and to move daily --- with a couple of vigorous workouts and a couple moderate ones each week. I'll never have perfection "this side of Glory," as my Grandma used to say. But I can be thankful for what I have and show my children what it is to care for yourself and others. I can stay mindful -- fully present, in each day.

Keep exploring and fully embracing all sides of your style journey. You know, draping, luxurious garments don't just skim over fluffy bits --- they feel sensuous and fabulous! And they look great on the tall, skinny models, too!

unfrumped

Veteran

What everybody said. You rock. Your less structured items still have a great fit and you filter out( " K/R") items that are just large or blah. So you're wearing the items or outfits in a style - way, the way differently made items are intended to look regardless of body type, and not a " hiding" way.

Gigi

Veteran

FWIW, I have never sensed that you were trying to disguise your body in the less-fitted items. Everything still worked together very nicely, and you were very careful to make sure that an oversized-style item wasn't too big but was properly fitted. If you were really trying to hide yourself, I don't know that you would have been so concerned about proper fit?

I have gone through stages like this too, where I feel like I'm all over the map. Yes, it's very unsettling, because you don't know who you are, just like you said. The interplay that exists between our inner selves and the way we dress is amazing. All you can do is keep doing your best to wear what you FEEL like wearing each day, and over time, something more coherent will start to emerge.

As I look back on these "all over the map" times in my life, I'm very grateful for them, because it shows to me that I am still developing as a person.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Shannon, I'm sending hugely empathetic hugs your way. Because my body has reached a pitch of self-loathing that has me asking similar questions, though very quietly and internally to date. I've embraced the concept of fluid fits with a great deal of relief, feeling the trend dovetails nicely with my desire to conceal a shape that doesn't sit well with me (or in small spaces, for that matter). When I get the clothes on, I feel very stylish and of-the-moment...But then I wonder if I've gone too far in the other direction, if I've in fact sacrificed the essence of what I've come to believe is my own style on the alter of my insecurity.
I believe we can learn from these moments. Who knows, some of these experiments we've both embarked on may yield revelations that have a home in our broader style visions. Let's both try and resurrect Angie's number one rule about having ffun with this process and not letting ourselves get too bogged down.
Shall we?
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