Reading through everyone's comments I couldn't decide if and how I should respond and then I read Beth Ann's so may I just say "what she said". Beth Ann pretty much covered my feelings on the matter. My son goes to a religious school and I would expect this at his school but that is why I sent him there so that he is in an environment that supports and shares our beliefs and values.

As a Vice-Principal of a public high school, my initial response is "Well, that's inappropriate."

However, there are a few additional thoughts I'd like to add and I'm taking inspiration from Beth Ann on this. I'm running late this morning, so I will chime in later on.

I assume good intentions. My father belonged to the Gideons, an organization that placed Bibles in hotel rooms. The intent was for people to have access to the Bible. It was in no way intended to recruit people to a particular church or denomination. Bibles were simply placed in the rooms.

I deliberately send my children to public school so they learn to get along with and respect people from all walks of life and with various religious beliefs. That said, I believe others should respect our Christian beliefs as well.

It's interesting. My first reaction was "how sweet", actually. Of course, I'm christian. But as I consider it more, I actually find the whole thing more and more objectionable. I feel more and more that the religious aspect, the use of bibles, is a distraction. Diversionary. Tangential.

It seems to me that people on the straight and narrow would behave as Marley's church does. You just don't come around other people's kids like that.

I want to say that from my perspective, at least, I don't see this as something malicious. I am always flattered when someone prays for me or chants or wants to do Reiki....or whatever is meaningful to them. I once had a Druid friend do a ritual for me. I am touched that people would do whatever they could and believed in order to help me. So the intention is not what matters.

I do see this as a gateway to blur the line between Church and State. And that is just really, really dangerous. And targeting school is just completely unacceptable. Unless of course, it includes every sacred book there is. Personally, when I travelled a lot, I loved having a Bible in the hotel rooms. It was very comforting to me. But I was traveling and the hotels were private entities. The school is public. Many people who aren't Christian pay for it.

However sweet and well-intended the gesture, if it is unwanted or unsolicited, it is inappropriate.

To subtract any legal issues (which are huge, IMO), just consider how you would feel, honestly, if a bunch of Korans were being handed out T a public h.s.in the US. Or Scientology literature. I know there's a lot of well-meaning intentions associated with spirituality, but to me it's highly inappropriate. I'm not going to go into detail why I think so.

And to take religion completely out of the equation, imagine someone you didn't even know handed you books or handouts on weight loss. After all, they mean well, right? Or is my analogy way off base?

Ugh. iPhone. "In" a public high school.

Or a pack of cigarettes on every graduate's seat.

Let's put this in perspective, shall we? If any of my DDs (who are now in high school and in college) were given a pack of cigarettes or a Koran or whatever (fill in the blank here), I'd expect them to use the refusal skills I've taught them to politely decline the item(s) being offered. We do it all the time with well-meaning people who come to our front door, uninvited and unexpected, to preach to us about their brand of salvation. We also do it with telemarketers and politicians. I never thought that handing someone a Bible would cause such an uproar, maybe because it's just information on paper. But then again, I still wish people a Merry Christmas and let the chips fall where they may.

On the other hand, it is indeed a waste of resources to pass out bibles in such a manner, as some (dare I say most) will probably not ever be read or even taken home.

3 questions:

1- Is that letter personalized, i.e. do they have the student's name?
2- Is the student at liberty to discard or leave the bible aside?
3- Where is graduation held. At that church?

If no, yes and yes, I just see that as a huge waste of paper. I would be pissed if they had my kid's info or someone is about to indoctrinate my child, no way.

I was born Catholic but I am not religious.

I would equate that one to the " jew for jesus" or whatever pamphlets we get on subway trains.
I rely on my daughter's ability to choose for herself on things like this.

Thanks to everyone for being so respectful - I thought hard about starting a discussion related to religion, but this forum is just so amazingly diverse and thoughtful, I couldn't resist.

My own take is that it is not legally acceptable to allow any organized religion to hand out religious materials on public school property. I can't imagine going to a graduation and handing out copies of my own religion's holy book (the Gita). Just as places of voting should be protected spaces, public school grounds should be free of lobbying, whether political or religious, in my opinion.

Studying religions in a class and celebrating holidays is a little different. Where I grew up, we sang Christmas and Hanukkah songs. Was I offended? No. Today, my son's school celebrates Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa all under the umbrella of a holiday party, and that is okay with me too - it is a form of learning and embracing diversity, respect and understanding.

I agree that it is important to know and respect your neighbors. This particular town is small and the population is half hippie/liberals and half conservative Christians. Mostly they all get along by leaving each other alone.

Hmm, Ruth, I'd tend to agree with you that, by the time our children graduate from high school, they ought to be able to politely decline "gifts" that they don't want and get on with their lives. But I also think that the religious intent behind this form of mass gifting in a secular, public high school makes the whole issue much more sensitive, as is obvious from the range of comments on the thread.

My other thought, having had experience with teenagers, is to wonder if this particular group has thought about how some of the graduates might choose to refuse their "gifts"? Not all adolescents are as sensitive, or polite, as the children of the YLF members.

ETA: Una, after reading your assessment of the community, I'd be even more leary about how some of the graduates might choose to refuse their gifts. It makes me wonder if the underlying intent is to stir up things between the two groups...

Una, I completely agree with the "studying" religions part. I did that in college in Divinity classes as well as Philosophy classes. Those classes really shaped my life and added depth to my life in a way that I cannot describe. One of my favorites was the Gita. I actually still have copies of all my sacred books, some in more than one language...like the Book of Mormon. Sometimes, I think that I would love to go back to school and get a degree in philosophy or divinity. What for you ask....I have no idea ! LOL

I went to a christian missionary school in India. Methodist Church. When they enforced morning prayers in church next door, as opposed to morning 'chapel' on school grounds, and started penalising students for not attending though it was held before actual school hours (as opposed to the older 'chapel' practice), I was the only person across 14 grades of students and parents protesting. Here, a minority religion may fund its own educational institutions with certain caveats...you can preach but not enforce practice, which this seemed to violate. So this in your context seems a similar violation of spirit if not letter of the law I think. No matter how benign or loving the intent. More thoughtfulness was needed I fear. Also deb makes a great point! Our school gave us the school hymnal as a graduation gift. Which is fine for a religious missionary institution. And note the majority of students were practising Hindus followed by often Muslims (the odd class had more Christians or jains or Sikhs). And what Nicole refers to as local heritage actually makes the majority religion pretty tolerant and welcoming. But I could absolutely see parents up in arms if the koran were handed out even by an Islamic institution they _chose_ to send their kids too...

Gaylene, I think there is probably "good' intent, in the way that most if not all religious groups feel there is good in sharing their message and beliefs. But there is also a certain undeniable proprietary aspect as far as who "owns" the community, as symbolized by these new graduates.

In addition to the legal concerns, I honestly find it to be a breach of etiquette to bring religious literature to a secular ceremonial event - it seems like taking advantage in order to push one's own agenda, same as if they had a local politician campaign at the graduation. It's just not the time and place. And I would feel the same way regardless of the religious group involved.

Okay - I've thought this over.
I can only imagine that this is in effect after much analysis on the part of the school Administration. If this has been going on for a while, this tells me that people in the community are either okay with it or non-committal to it. Otherwise it wouldn't be happening!

I taught for 4 years in a rural public high school. During my first graduation ceremony there, I almost fell off my chair when the local priest got up to offer a benediction/prayer as a part of the ceremony. I had never seen that before in a public high school but nobody seemed particularly bothered. I learned through experience that this had been part of the ceremony for 50 years and no one really had any intention of changing it. So it stayed and, as far as I know, it's still happening.

At my current school, a significant portion of our school population is Muslim. We provide them with space for Friday prayers at lunch hour and there is a group of these students who are working hard to help the school community understand their religion on a deeper level through a variety of activities. This is the same for a Christian group in the school who run activities at Christmastime and meet weekly for prayers. As an Administration, we are taking the time to carefully consider how all of these groups can exist and promote awareness without appearing to "recruit" people. It is a fine balance and we work hard to ensure people respect it. We wouldn't, however, allow any group to distribute religious material - but that is just us and it is also a part of our school board's policies and procedures. It just isn't necessary.

I don't necessarily think it's appropriate for these bibles to be distributed but I think a school community and it's many varied interests also need to be considered. Also, I'd be interested in knowing how the school communicates this information about the bibles to the rest of the community. Are there options to refuse them? Do they encourage students to refuse them if they are not comfortable with it? One of the best things we can ask for when students are graduating is for them to think critically about the world around them - hopefully they are thinking about the bible and whether or not it works for them. And if the answer is no, hopefully they know how to respectfully decline the offer.

On the surface and without further knowledge, it's inappropriate for the bibles to be distributed. However, public schools are very complicated places with many sides that need to be considered. I'm sure there is more to the story and that all sides of the issue have been explored. Otherwise, as I said in the beginning, it wouldn't be happening.

Problem is, one person's good is another's violence.

Krista, thank you for your thoughtful response, especially as a school administrator. My friend whose child attends this school contacted the principal and superintendent two years ago, and they were supposedly surprised to learn of this information and stated it would not occur. Yet it happened again this year. So you are exactly right that it is more complex than it seems on the surface.

Your school sounds like a wonderful learning environment for students, and you've brought up another interesting point about accommodating religious needs vs. recruiting or oppressing others. Where does one begin and the other end? And in a public school, where are the boundaries and who should set them?

Head spinning...

Una, if concerns have been brought forward and Administrators have promised a change and it hasn't happened, then yes, there is an issue. I mean, there is "carefully considering whether or not this is an issue for the community" and then there is "promising to do something when challenged and hoping the challengers go away." I think your friends needs to bring it up again - she at least deserves a strong and well-reasoned answer as to why it's still happening.

My school is pretty special and not all schools work this well. At best, the school board sets the policies/procedures that guide these approaches and it is up to a school administration to manage them appropriately - at least, that's how it works here. Trust me, it's always a fine balance and one that's always up for discussion. Sometimes our heads are spinning as well. There are definitely no easy answers!

Not appropriate. The intent may be good, and I've known my share of decent, upstanding citizens who are also religious, but still. Handing out bibles and guilt-trip letters is ultimately a recruitment ploy.

It would be fine to do this at, say, a Catholic school. But at a public school, no. Separation of education and religious belief is imperative for the health of the country.

I just read everyone's post since I posted mine and found it very interesting. As I processed this information the idea came to me of how this could be a wonderful learning experience for the students. If a summary on the major religions were given to each student the process of philosophical comparisons could begin inside each student. (if they read them) What a way to begin a new adventure. It would also show spiritual options and choices we are allowed to make in this country. I would have appreciated something like this a 16, when I graduated.

So, I read everyone's comments, and for me, it gets back to the fact that I don't want my child's information given to strangers even just to pray for her. I was Catholic in my youth, and with everything that has happened in my area, i just have a hard time trusting intent. I know most are good, but I would still rather not share personal information with strangers, no matter ow well meaning.

I also do object to a holy book being handed out in a secular setting, especially a mandatory secular setting like school. Honestly, it is easy to get a Bible if you want one, I really don't see the point of handing them out. it creates unneeded controversy and waste. Maybe it is different where you are.

In my area, i can only imagine the uproar if it were another religious text.

I would feel differently if each student were given a "care package" and all local religions and organizations were welcome to add their own items. If only one church has this ability then it becomes an implicit endorsement by the school.

I cannot imagine this practice surviving application of the Lemon v. Kurtzman test.

Oh MaryK, I remember that. We had many discussions about it in class.

I don't think it's a good idea to pass out Bibles or religious literature in a public setting, but at the same time I assume good intent and am not offended by such things. Besides the fact that most people would probably be offended, I don't see a benefit in it for anyone, and think whoever organized this didn't think things through. They didn't think of the ramifications. I personally believe you can catch more flies with honey, and that it's counter productive to do anything that would cause an uproar or offense. Seems like there are better ways to spread whatever message you're trying to spread. And this applies to all groups--not just Christians. That said, I think it's easy to overreact to such things. Then again, I'm not familiar with the organization that did this, and I don't know what their intentions are/were.

As a long time public school teacher, I am appalled that this is allowed to happen. Is it even legal? I'm sure the intentions were good, but there is a reason for separation of church and state.

Everyone is making great points. What is boils down to is what's in the letter and what kind of Christian church it is. My issue with it is that if it's coming from a church like my grandparents go to and the one I was raised in but no longer a part of (I was raised in a strict fundamentalist church), then I definitely am against the letters. If someone says they are praying for you in my grandparents' church, it's a nice of saying "We think you're going to Hell and you need to get up in front of the congregation and confess your sins".

If the letter is more of a loving tone, like we want the best for you and will pray for you to do well, then it's not so bad. I still don't agree with it, but I won't be so irate about it.

You know how I feel, because I replied elsewhere. But, to reiterate, I love what Mochi said!