I think I'm returning the Docs :( - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

I think I'm returning the Docs :(

Christie

I guess they're just not me. I really love them on others, and loved the idea of them for me, but I think I just felt too self-conscious to be confident wearing them. I'm actually kind of sad about returning them, because they seemed to fit a niche I was looking for (tough, rugged, knee-high, could be dressed up or even worn for working outside). The more I think of it, the more I realize it was the "punk" connotation that got to me. If it wasn't for that, I would love them in a heartbeat.

Have others had this problem ... loving something but not feeling confident about it?

Dressing

18 replies

Latest reply was from Christie

Carole

Veteran

I completely understand your feelings, Cricket. I too love them on others, but somehow, I know they are not me. I think that there are styles that are befitting certain personalities and body types, and you need to trust your own instincts about what you feel comfortable with and what you don't. I tend to be more of a classic dresser and conservative, and have tried to work outside that box a little bit with help from YLF. The converse tennies were a stretch for me, but they were inexpensive and comfortable which made it easy to give it a try. But with a pricier item, I would give it a pass, too many other things to spend money on anyway!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Don't worry about it Cricket, it just comes down to further knowing your style and fashion persona. Your perfect boots are out there.

Louise

Veteran

I used to get this all the time and had a wardrobe full of orphans which i loved but didn't have the guts to wear. Since being here and posting photos my confidence in wearing them has rocketed and now if i love it and know it looks good i wear it from wellies to Trilbys i'm sporting them with confidence. Would posting some outfit pics with docs for advice help? It might help your confidence grow? Though i understand sometimes we'll just never have enough confidence for something x

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Oh, Cricket - you and I can be Doc-return twins! If it makes you feel any better, I bought and returned TWO pairs! I had such a crush on them when I saw them on others - and thought - this is it - this is my fashion persona - this is me! I bought a pair of black...hmmm...not so sure any more...maybe the silver would soften it and I could still pull off this look...so I ordered those. Um, NO. I had thought of the perfect outfit - I sewed up a fab sack dress, I went out to TJ Maxx and bought patterend tights...went to lace up the silver Doc Martens...couldn't leave the house. I felt ridiculous.

But you know, it was a learning lesson. Who knows, maybe some day when I'm more confident overall with who I am fashion-wise, I can sport a pair, but I'm okay with not wearing them now. I will continue to admire them on our edgier YLF members!

Tricia

Veteran

I have this feeling all the time. For me, it's the disconnect between my internal idea of myself and reality, if that makes sense? Like, I used to wear Docs all the time in high school/college, along with other edgy, funky clothes. I got away from all that as a young adult, but along the way fell into a bad style rut. Now I'm trying to mix it up again...but while in my head I'm still that girl who could sport Docs, in reality I'm a 33-year-old married mom of two, living in the suburbs and driving a minivan. Finding the middle ground is one of the biggest challenges I'm having as I get more interested in my style.

So you're not alone!

Kristine

Veteran

I think I'd feel the same way. Docs were all the rage when I was younger and I wore a pair then, so I have a hard time breaking that association. Plus, I tend to look like I shop in the junior department so I'm working on looking more sophisticated and grown-up. So Docs wouldn't be the right direction for me. I struggle with the line between pushing myself and feeling ridiculous.

Do you have a while to decide? Maybe you'll get used to them or need to find the right outfits.

Christie

Thanks for the support, Carole, RoseandJoan, Louise! This is a process, right? The only way to learn is to try.

MPJ, I was beginning to feel really silly for truly liking them ... but not on me, even after thinking I would like them on me. I think you know exactly what I mean.

I do like the contrast of edgy with feminine, and tried them with a dress, loved the sleek leg (since the boot cinches to a perfect fit on the calf), and wore them with my pink wool coat and sweet cloche hat.

In the end, I think I'm leaning more retro than edgy, and think I can pull that off with confidence. I think that the Docs are revealing that to me, so that's a good thing. It wasn't for the sake of not trying (though I am too shy to post photos! see the other thread LOL).

BTW, Tricia and Kristine ... it sounds to me that you could rock this look since you've worn Docs with confidence before. I'm sure you could put together some fab, sophisticated outfits with them now too!

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

I can relate! I love Docs and the entire trendy/edgy look but I feel like such a ridiculous poser when I dress that way. I don't know if it's my body type or if it's just mental, but I know that if I'm not comfortable with something I'll never wear it.

Christie

Thanks, Sarah! We were posting at the same time.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Don't worry, Cricket! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you never tried, you'd never know. Now you know. Onto something that you're more comfortable with.

I gave the odd knitted top a try this Summer season and they looked fine, but I felt unlike myself each time I wore them. Woven blouses and tops or knitwear feels best so that’s what I’m sticking to. My knit tops were passed onto good homes and that makes me feel just as fab.

The flip side to all of this is that you have to keep on pushing your fashion envelope though. If you don’t – you rut. So there is a fine line between saying that “this isn’t you”, and making the change work for the better. I hope that makes sense!

Christie

Thank you Angie, for your help before and after this purchase. I think I understand what you're saying about pushing yourself. Tucking skinnies into boots is pushing it for me, so maybe a more understated boot will achieve "the next level" for me. Haha.

There was so much I loved about the Docs, who knows ... maybe I'll revisit them in the future.

Louise

Veteran

I agree with Angie wholeheartedly keep pushing your boundaries. I'll try anything once since being here and i've discovered some great looks and some which just don't sit right with me. Eg i LOVE legwarmers with skirts/ dresses but can't get my head round them over skinnies even though Angie adored the look but i can hand on heart say i gave it a go. I think as long as you've given it a go you can hold your head up high and say i gave it a go but it didn't work for me and well done on not keeping them just for them to become closet orphans x

NK

Bummer! I'm also considering some Docs, but I think I'm in the same boat as you. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, or a poser, or just too punk for who I am (I'm like you, Tricia only older!). Maybe there's something out there that's a step or two more tame but still has the tough vibe you're looking for?

And if you find it, let me know! Maybe we can get a group discount!

NK

Maybe something like these?

http://www.zappos.com/rockport.....ff-leather

Christie

Hey, NK, those are great! I think they have a vintage appeal while still giving a nod to the Docs, with the laces (I loved that!). I am thinking I'd prefer flat boots though.

I wore some cowboy boots today and felt good in those! I had to wear my jeans on the outside of the boots since I don't have skinnies, just straights.

I think I like a natural, vintage look ... if I can figure out how that looks exactly!

NK

Interesting....good luck finding them!

medusa

Veteran

Cricket, remember that you're learning about your style and what feels right to you. That's a good thing!

Christie

I'm taking another look at those boots you linked to, NK, and think the heel isn't so high after all. Hmmmm, I'm considering these.