Cleaning out the closet...

Anonymous

I wanted to start this discussion because I have been trying to clean out my closet for months, but I keep facing road blocks. I have a lot of clothes stuffed in my closet and its time for some things to go. Let me outline a few of the problems I have faced:

-I have numerous items in my closet that I never wear, but every time I try and get rid of them, I can't help but think, "maybe there will be a time when I will be getting dressed and wished I had this," or something like that. Is there some way to banish that kind of thinking, or a solution for these clothes? What is a good way to absolutely know you will never wear the item or wish you had it?

-I have other things in my closet that I'm pretty sure I won't wear, but I feel guilty about getting rid of them. There are those things I spent money on (sometimes too much money), but rarely wore. How do you get rid of the guilt and just own up to the fact that I won't wear them?

Has anyone had experience selling clothes to a second hand store? I have never done this, and I'm not expecting to get a whole lot of money for my clothes, but maybe it will get rid of some of the guilt?

Lastly, I'd just like to hear some of your tips on how you ladies clean out your closets? How do you maintain them, and what are your suggestions/experiences?

Thanks.

18 years ago

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from thinkingfish

Anonymous

Wow, I just read through that and it was not written well at all. I apologize. It's late and my brain is fried from a three hour chemistry exam.

18 years ago

Maya

Veteran

My mom always says if you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it. So far it has been working. I don't think I can think of anything I really regret getting rid of.

I think re-selling clothes definitely helps the guilt. Besides feeling guilty, I also feel like I'm being ripped off in a way. Why should someone else spend $4 at a thrift store for something you spent $78 on? I used to sell on ebay but lately I have noticed I rarely make anything even close to what I expect. I have never sold to a second hand store, but I was thinking about it as an alternative. I would try it. you're bound to get something, and something is better than nothing.

18 years ago

Jenniferblue

Active Member

Closet reorganization time here too!! Hmmmm where do I start. My first big reorganiztion would be to divide all my longer tops (the ones that are perfect for wearing with pants and walk shorts) from the ones that are a good length for wearing with skirts (hipbone length for me). Has anyone done it that way? Shiny? (What does the flylady on closet organization). I already have the tops on their own rod categorized by color. Jackets on another rod, pants on another rod and long pieces like a few dresses and on another rod. I'm keep winter and summer in the same closet all the time. What really gets annoying pulling out a top thats too long or too short. Help.

18 years ago

Becky

Veteran

Lissy, I still struggle with the feelings you describe, but I can tell you that purging your closet of things you won't use is an incredibly freeing feeling. It frees up space so you can see what you have and organize your closet appropriately. I don't find it hard to get rid of things that I know aren't flattering on me. In fact, after I find out an item doesn't look good on me, I have a hard time ever wearing it again, unless I have no choice (which sometimes does happen). That might be a first step...get rid of what you know doesn't look good on you or clothing that isn't comfortable. Then see what is left. I have taken clothing to consignment stores, and it's true, you won't get a lot for your clothing. However, I tell myself that it's that much I didn't have before and it helps cover shipping/return shipping for some of my shopping! If you don't want to do consignment, just donate the clothing to a thrift or charity store and console yourself that the clothing will go to someone who really needs it.

18 years ago

shiny

Veteran

Lissy, for issue #1, there are two strategies:

1) Force yourself to wear these items- one per day until you've worn each. Make it a challenge. If you just can't bring yourself to wear an item even for one day, then out it goes.

I actually did this about two years ago: I had skirts in my closet but I NEVER wore them. I always went with pants instead. So I challenged myself to wear a skirt a day for 30 days. I didn't have that many skirts - I probably had about 8 skirts, so I repeated. (Some had been purchased with coordinating skirt tops; others, I just wore with a generic GAP tee shirt.) Lo and behold, I am now very much a skirt person!! Esp in the warmer months. That challenge changed everything for me.

2) Bag it all up and place the bag in storage (someplace dry). Date the bag. If over the course of a year, you find you want something out of the bag, go find it and put it back into your closet. At the end of the year, take the bag to goodwill - do NOT open it up. Just take it as is. You've probably forgotten what's in it - which means none of it is worth saving.

For the second issue, I always give my stuff to charity. That gets rid of the guilt for me. I know there are homeless women and women struggling to get back on their feet, that could make good use of my nice, barely worn clothing.

Prevention is also key here - I am not always perfect at this, but I'm learning to keep the tags on and save the receipt in a place I can easily find it, and to make a decision one way or other about a garment within a week or two. If you do not wear it within that timeframe - or (if you bought ahead of the season) at least try it on and figure out how to make a full outfit for later - then consider returning it.

18 years ago

shiny

Veteran

Jenniferblue, I have a fairly small closet. I keep my nonseasonal stuff in crates in a hall closet, and do a once or twice a year swap out.

From left to right in my closet:
1) Fancy dresses (whatever the season); hung on special non-slip hangers. These fit in the part of the closet that is hardest to access. But I keep them hanging so they don't get wrinkled.

2) Dress pants - I don't fold them over a hanger - I have them hanging full length, with clips at the bottom, not the waistband.
Jeans and khakis and walk shorts and other items that don't wrinkle are folded in a dresser drawer.

3) Skirts are next.

3) Jackets are in the middle. I have already crated up my velvet and winter wool jackets.

4) Non-knit Blouses. I don't have them organized in any special way. I do not hang most knit tops, because I fear they will stretch out.

5) Cardigans and knit tops and camis - I have these two rolling, three-tiered, wire-mesh basket carts... you can get them at Linen's and Things or places like that. I think they are actually for storing fruits and veggies in your kitchen! But I find they work wonderfully for folded items. The wire-mesh keeps air circulating, and I can roll the cart out to see things more easily. Each basket is lined first with tissue paper.

6) Shoes: hang from the closet doors. That forces me to limit the number of shoes I own. Nonseasonal shoes are in a plastic tub under the bed. My boots and really special, delicate shoes are in individual boxes on the closet shelf.

7) Coats are in a different closet, with the exception of my leather jackets; these always hang in my bedroom closet, otherwise, my DD's would run off with them.

(DD15 today is wearing one of my new ATL jackets that I haven't even worn yet.... looks cute on her!)

18 years ago

Dana

Active Member

Lissy,
I think a lot of people are facing what you are currently going through. Guilt can be tough to get over, but exactly as shiny says, think of it as blessing others with things you no longer care for. They may be perfect for someone trying to get back on their feet who needs nicer clothes to start a job hunt or just clothes in general because they had to leave a situation quickly and had no time to take anything with them. Use these lessons to make you more discerning about future purchases. Hopefully, you'll only have to go through this major process once. In the future, try to fill your closet with things you love!

18 years ago

Nicole

Veteran

I employ Maya's one year rule. I never have a hard time ridding my life of clutter though. TO help w/the guilt, perhaps you could donate the clothes to a charitable organization--and while your at it, ask for a receipt so you can claim it on your taxes as a chartiable donation. (IRS now requires receipts for this deduction.) Oh, I'm assuming you live in the US with that suggestion.

I do send some of my stuff to a consignment shop. You don't make much money on your clothes, they keep a sizeale portion. And it can be a hassle to bring all that stuff in. Once you have an account w/a consignor, you can usually drop off a few items at a time. (The one I use has a 6 item drop off limit) Otherwise, I need to make an appt. And they only take seasonal items.

Instead of going thru the whole thing at once, go thru sections. Short sleeve tops one day. Long sleeves the next. So on and so on. You'll be amazed at how therapeutic it can be!

18 years ago

Antje

Veteran

Oh Lissy, I so understand... I had the same issues and concerns, until about 2 years ago (meeting Angie has a lot to do with my changed approach.) I started weeding out pretty rigorously, and I feel so much better now. I gave a lot of clothes away - some to a consignment store, some to a friend, and most to charity.

The benefit is enormous, as you end up with a closet that's more streamlined and that you actually like to pick from, since you know that everything in it is wanted and flattering. I found it so stressful to look at clothes I didn't actually wear, because they didn't fit me (always holding out that silly hope I would someday magically drop 5 pounds - not happening and that's alright...) or because I liked the look but it just didn't flatter me. This latter aspect will be easier to manage once you found styles that truly do flatter you and that you are happy picking and wearing. E.g., I always had a thing for cap sleeves and for boat necks. Realizing that they weren't so flattering on me was part of the awakening, but I still clung to the items since I didn't really know how to replace them. Now that I know how much more flattering sleeveless and 1/2 sleeves are for me, and how much better v-necks and deep scoop necks are for me than boat necks, I can actually target those and replace the older items with things I feel absolutely sure about and good in. That helped me shed the old. Does that make sense?

I love shiny's idea of packing things up and putting them away for a year, just in case you realized you missed something after all. You probably won't, but it's nice to leave the door open a crack. You ask whether we sometimes wear something again after not wearing it for a long time. This has happened to me very rarely. I have a pair of shoes that I almost brought to a consignment store, but that I now treasure and like because I found better ways of wearing them (I used to consider them classy and feared they were too conversative for me, but then I found funky ways to wear them with different outfits.) If you have specific items you're unsure about, I recommend two strategies:
-try them in new combinations to see if that changes your mind
-ask a trusted friend for an opinion, it can help enormously

Good luck, and happy shedding!

18 years ago

Anonymous

Thank you all for the suggestions. It was so nice reading everyone's replies. I really appreciate all the help.

I'm feeling more confident about getting rid of some things. I am also planning to try on the things I don't wear and seeing how they feel and if I can work them in. If not, they are out. I'm also going to check out the consignment store I saw nearby. They actually had a dress I have hanging there in the window in a another color, so maybe they want mine too. I know I'll never wear that dress again.

18 years ago

CockatooQueen

Active Member

I have the same angst about massive closet purges that many of you have discussed, I appreciate the variety of great advice! Part of my problem stems from having had only three school outfits that fit me as a neglected and bullied young teenager for a few years. (There were no school uniforms.) I'm working to rise above these insecurities - that was a long time ago.

Like some of the commenters here, I also feel guilty about the wasted spending on these now not-so-great garments. After successfully selling hundreds of used books online, I tried to sell my best clothing castoffs via local online classified websites. That turned out to be a huge waste of time and effort. I sold four outfits among 67 that I posted, each priced modestly, with several photos & detailed descriptions.

So, lesson learned. I have since donated clothing as well as furniture, electronics, & household items to charitable organizations. Using their detailed donation receipts, I itemize all on my IRS return. Dave Ramsey would call my foolish wardrobe purchases "a stupid tax" that most of us bring on ourselves in some way. The "tax" must be paid, and the cost is water under the bridge.

Now I have to knuckle down again and empty another closet, to prepare for holiday guests. It's much easier when you have a deadline ;>

12 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

Oh, can I relate.

There are thousands of tips online and on posts here at YLF,but the key is to try to tell which ones work best for you psychologically. We are all different in that way.

I totally echo that you must do it--you must forget the $$ spent, not anguish over past and future sizes, you must let yourself be free of bad stuff. But how, is what people deal with.

Are you truly able to recognize what fits you and what does not? That is one of the main ways to clear out bad stuff. If you are a poor judge of that (and we all are, at times) you may need a Friend to goad you. If you can see it yourself, you just need to talk to your clothes- You do not fit me so you are OUT!

Also, there are recommendations that you do a marathon sweep, but if you have a lot of stuff, it can be best to pick a category--tops, or something-at a time.

Some advise making a decision on each thing once & for all, but you have to know yourself. Another way is to pull out all the tops and make a first-pass instinctive purge--all the ones you just really KNOW are wrong--and don't noodle over the rest just now. Or, set a percentage--will toss 20% of my tops today, so line up best to worst and the losers go. That assumes you feel able to triage, and of course, sometimes that's where you're blocked.

Can you recognize "duplicates"--again, if so, determine to pick the one best, or 2 best--whatever.

There are so many different ways to go about it. If you like to read suggestions you might search YLF and Google terms like purging wardrobe, reducing wardrobe, decluttering closet and all that. It won't do the work for you, but it can give you ideas and encouragement.

The first step is to really decide you deserve more space, less clutter, and to focus on the best of the clothes you have and feeling great in them.

12 years ago

unfrumped

Veteran

See also my post on consignment woes. I have not had good luck with that so have reverted back to helping Goodwill. I got a lot of encouragement on that, as of course your donation is helping other people. Or perhaps your church?
You have to decide whether you're the type of person that really needs the perfect home for your stuff, or whether you just need some encouragement to Let Go.

I did take learn about Twice, an on-line resale venture, and I sold some items there and will send some more. They're picky about brands but I had items on their ok list. So, they won't take Target, Kohls and lots of brands and no-name brands. The main reason I tried it is because it's pretty simple for me--I print a free mailing label, box the clothes in a box I already have from online purchase, use my handy packing tape and drop it off. Very little $$ return, but painless, compared to having stuff reviewed by the Consignment Lady.

12 years ago

viva

Veteran

I am about to go through my closet again so I am in this mindset too. I am a serial purger, though, so I don't have a lot of difficulty getting rid of things. A few ideas help me.
1: I have, in the past, had a bad habit of buying clothing simply because it is pretty or fits well, regardless of whether it is right for me. These things seem to just hang in my closet. At some point I realized they were turning my closet into an art gallery, where I would visit them and look at them on the hangers. Such a waste! Realizing this changed my way of shopping. Now I think of my closet as a library (things must be taken out!) and not a museum. (Moral: if you have "art objects" in your closet, clear them out. They are just taking up space.)
2: Consigning has worked for me, and when it doesn't, Goodwill is a good backup. Both make me feel much better about purging. Consign what you can -- in my experience anything that is a recognizable brand, still in style, and in great condition should do well. Anything that doesn't meet these criteria should go to Goodwill. Either way, you are passing your things on to let them have another life somewhere. Maybe you'll get some dollars out of the deal, or maybe a tax write-off, or maybe just a good feeling. But even just a good feeling is a good thing.
Best of luck with your closet work! I hope to join you in this soon!!!

12 years ago

ironkurtin

Veteran

Issue #1: I have numerous items in my closet that I never wear, but every time
I try and get rid of them, I can't help but think, "maybe there will be
a time when I will be getting dressed and wished I had this."

I have purged items ruthlessly over the past 20 years and I have missed something I chucked MAYBE twice. MAYBE. And I'm 100% sure that if I actually had the item, it wouldn't have worked. Chuck. If you haven't worn it, you won't. Let it delight someone else.

Issue #2: I have other things in my closet that I'm pretty sure I won't wear,
but I spent money on. How do you get rid of the guilt?

Deep breath. No one is perfect. You are now paying for those clothes twice, but having them in your closet cluttering your brain. Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.

Issue #3: Has anyone had experience selling clothes to a second hand store?

Yes, I often sell on eBay or consign. It's a pain. Unless you need the money badly, accept your losses and remember somewhere someone will be thrilled with what didn't get you.

Issue #4: How do you ladies clean out your closets?

I chuck if: It is damaged/too worn/smelly and cannot be repaired. It doesn't fit right and I am always fidgeting with it. I have reached past it at least three times for something else with the same function. It doesn't make me feel amazing. (The last is the most important.)

I also hold each item and close my eyes and visualize myself wearing it. If I can't, it goes. I'll never wear it.

12 years ago

Lisa

Veteran

Great advice here. I've had the guilt from donating clothes that were going unworn in my closet and were still in good shape. I ended up telling myself, unworn clothes are already wasted money, it doesn't matter if they sit in your closet unworn, or sit in a donation bag unworn. Might as well donate and free up space for things you enjoy to wear.

12 years ago

thinkingfish

Active Member

+1 on donation for tax deduction. I found it a much better deal than selling online, energy and money wise.

12 years ago

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