Casual AND sophisticated--how to do it? - YouLookFab Forum

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Casual AND sophisticated--how to do it?

Ariadne

Veteran

I'm going to quote directly from what I wrote in the the Name Your Style! thread:

I really am not super thrilled with my style at the moment. I want to figure out how to be casual and low-maintenance (because my lifestyle DEMANDS it) while also being eclectic and sophisticated (as well as all the givens that we all want--polished, effortless, etc.)

I have casual, low-maintenance clothes now that I feel are sufficiently current and flattering, but they aren't really eclectic OR sophisticated. They're basic and conventional. For me, by sophistication, I think I mean a look that encompasses elegance, polish, thoughtfulness, and a bit of an intellectual approach to style (that last is also part of eclecticism to me, or at least the type of eclecticism I'm after).

By the way, how do you define sophistication? I need some help here!

I have lots of images on my computer that I've saved in an inspiration folder that fit my style goals of eclectic and sophisticated, but they're all either out of my price range, too high maintenance for my life as a very busy work/stay at home mom of an infant, or unflattering for my body type (hourglass, not thin).

I just feel that my clothes don't really express who I am in a way that makes me feel great right now, and I can't quite figure out how to make them do that within the constraints of my budget and lifestyle. Is it possible? How? Help!

Dressing

19 replies

Latest reply was from Ariadne

julijuli

Wow Brianna - I'm not going to be much help on resolving the problem but I totally understand it! I too am struggling with how to achieve casual and sophisticated along with eclectic, elegant and polished. And, I too am on a budget and not a typical tall thin gal. (short & pear shaped) - as well as on a very tight budget!

So, I can only emphathize with your struggle and wait along with you to hear what others might have in the way of constructive advice.

Mac

Veteran

I'm struggling with the whole notion of sophistication, too! But, at the moment, this is my "take" on sophisticated casual...

A lot will have to do with getting basics that fit really really well and look of excellent quality. I mean, "jeans and a t-shirt" can = a pair of faded, ill fitting jeans paired with a boxy $10 tshirt with BUDWEISER: SPRING BREAK 2005 written on the front. Pair that with a pair of beaten up Nikes and sports sock it's probably not going to be a sophisticated look. On the other hand, take a pair of Joe's Jeans that fit to perfection in a uniform dark wash. Pair it with a banded t-shirt that drapes where it's supposed to drape and nips where it's supposed to be tight. Now add an pair of beaded velvet flats. To me, that = a casual but seriously sophisticated combination.

Ariadne

Veteran

Mac, I love the sound of the outfit you described. That would work for me if the top was machine washable and didn't need ironing, and the flats were uber comfy. So, there's one idea... let's have more!

Ariadne

Veteran

Here's something else I thought of: Sweet Pea tops. They look pulled-together and interesting and are extremely easy to care for. Maybe I should dress exclusively in those!

Angie, I'm hoping you'll chime in here with your extensive wisdom--and Antje, Laura, Patience, Shiny, Cathy, and other sophisticated moms! What did you do when yours were tiny (or what WOULD you have done if you'd had YLF back then)>

Dani

Veteran

Brianna, I'm not going to be much help either as I'm just now in the phase that I feel a little safer in making bolder clothing selections. When my little ones were tiny, I lived in capris and t-shirt (Pre-YLF). I discovered YLF when my youngest was 18 mos. It is hard for me to find machine washable clothing that I feel fab in most of the time. It's not impossible, but it's more difficult and you have to dig a bit more. I think shoes could be a safe place to bring in some of your desired style as well as handbags. It's hard to be on a budget when you want to change so much at one time. You'll get there, it's definitely a process!

Mac

Veteran

Okay, I'm new here, and I'm certainly no expert. But here are some examples of tops that could look sophisticated (providing they fit you well and were paired with other sophisticated casual bottoms & shoes) AND that are machine washable:

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com.....;ev19=4:25

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com.....8320058736

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com.....8;ev19=4:8

Mac

Veteran

Maybe this under an open cardi?

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com.....;ev19=4:17

Maybe this with a simple white camisole worn underneath and paired with a pair of white jeans on the bottom, and some upscale sneakers in the style of Hogan or Prada?

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com.....;ev19=2:21

Mac

Veteran

And yes, I realise most of us don't have Elle MacPherson's body or $, but to me this look is cool and casual but also sophisticated look that wouldn't be too hard to copy on a budget and for different body types. Good fitting black jeans, black belt, black flats, striped black and white t-shirt, scarf and well-fitting black jacket. Oh... and some sexy sunglasses, too.

http://uk.fashion.popsugar.com.....ll_0_0.jpg

Laura

Seems like layering (done well) can add sophistication to a look, incorporating different textures and attention to detail in terms of fit. I wonder if Angie has done a blog post about this.

shiny

Veteran

Brianna, are you breastfeeding? If you are, I would recommend focusing your $ on your bottoms and accessories and not on your tops. Because your size can change so dramatically.

I like the Sweet Pea idea! What's also nice about these is they have a pattern, which can hide the (inevitable) stains, and also helps disguise any less-than-perfect tummy. I don't know if I'd consider sweet pea tops "sophisticated" though. Hmm. Maybe the solid black one I own, and the solid navy one. The others, with their patterns, are more funky/fun/creative to me... but I might be overthinking! I definitely feel put together and stylish when I wear mine.

Mac, I love your ideas. This reminds me of a neighbor I had when my kids were babies. She was also a SAHM, but she always looked so impeccably dressed and put together. She had a very simple uniform: perfect fitting dark denim jeans with a slim-fit black turtleneck and an interesting belt (such as animal print) with comfy, interesting (expensive) loafers. And silver hoop earrings or diamond studs (when the kids were at that grabby stage). Or, swap the t-neck for a crisp white collared shirt in the warmer months. So simple, but elegant. Oh, and her haircut was perfect for her too, a pixie cut similar to Angie's. I do think the hair was a big part of her total package.

I think the simple, uniform approach like that is a good one when your kids are very young: really helps you get out the door fast in the morning. A short wash-and-go haircut can save so much time and reduces bad hair days. The clothing is very simple and no-fail, washable and easily mix-and-matchable. They are merely a backdrop for the the accessories, which add the interest - and which are less likely to get ruined by spit-up and need no laundering! Invest in belts, shoes, scarves, a watch, and a "statement" diaper bag...

As for the links, I have heard James Perse makes quality knitwear, and I've tried on Vince in the past too. Rebecca Beeson is another brand I often hear good things about. But, I would just worry that a knit is a knit.... and they are all subject to the same fading, stretching and pilling eventually... so this is an area I would not spend a lot of $ on! ($95 for a tee - eek!). Instead I would plan to refresh frequently. I personally like the BR knitwear - it wears decently, you can get a good discount usually, and it comes in interesting colors and styles like cowl necks. AT can be good too.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Brianna, dresses and leggings are your friends. Casual woven or jersey dresses are best. Pair with flats -- gladiators, ballet flats. In the winter, swap out flats for flat boots. Or, the jeans/Cons/graphic T/cardigan look is very versatile and easy. If you want to go more boho, it's fun to do a harness boot/jean/tank top/long sweater look. That's great for fall.

Does any of this help?

There's a store here called Hot Mama specializing in hip clothes for MOTG. Their website is http://www.shopmama.com. (Do NOT plug in the store name to google unless you want a very big shock :)) Check out this tank, which you could pair with a cascading cardigan:
http://www.shopmama.com/produc.....0TARANTOLA

Inge

(website)

Great advice from the other lasses.

I don't have children, but generally speaking I think structured items with some sort of unexpected or interesting detail are the easiest way to make a look more sophisticated (without having to resort to too much layering, they do all the work for you).

e.g. interesting detailing on sleeves, neckline, ruffles, piping, shoulder line, unusual collars, a stunning colour, fab patterns (more than one combined), beautiful materials and textures, interesting shapes. Those will add interest in itself and you'll automatically look more pulled together, creative and sophisticated.

I'll try to find a few examples.

Another thought: I often find that simple lines and monochromatic outfits can look quite chic and sophisticated too. E.g. A black/grey turtleneck sweater with perfectly fitting black/grey/pinstriped trousers and a great pair of flats or other shoes. You can add a fun scarf, necklace, a cardigan, a denim jacket or a streamlined blazer...

anne

Veteran

I am really interested in all these responses as I feel like I am in a similar position to you Brianna. And I have had 6 years to work on it!

I am drawn to tailored structured sophisticated designs but they aren't what I need for my lifestyle. (On a recent city shopping trip I had to keep telling myself to veer away from interesting sheath dresses.) Working on these questions is on of the main things I hope to learn from YLF

Inge

(website)

I realise these are not all machine washable/quite expensive, but they're just examples. If you like the look(s), we can help you find more suitable pieces.

Sleeves
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....5&P=1

http://www2.victoriassecret.co.....rfnbr=5183

Patterns
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....5&P=2

Argyle + stripes
http://www.express.com/catalog.....egoryId=20

Inge

(website)

Shapes
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....5&P=3

Other detailing
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....6&P=3

http://www.bluefly.com/Autumn-.....detail.fly

http://www.bluefly.com/Design-.....detail.fly

http://www2.victoriassecret.co.....rfnbr=5183

http://www2.victoriassecret.co.....rfnbr=5441

Inge

(website)

Necklines
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....6&P=5

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....6&P=5

http://www.express.com/catalog.....egoryId=11

http://www.bluefly.com/Miss-Si.....detail.fly

Texture
http://www.bluefly.com/Autumn-.....detail.fly

Inge

(website)

Dresses
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....2&P=1

http://www.bluefly.com/BCBGMAX.....detail.fly

http://www.bluefly.com/Design-.....detail.fly

http://www.bluefly.com/BCBGMAX.....detail.fly

http://www.bluefly.com/Clu-gra.....detail.fly

http://www.bluefly.com/Envi-bl.....detail.fly
(the black & white)

http://www2.victoriassecret.co.....rfnbr=2667

http://www.shabbyapple.com/p-379-midtown.aspx

Inge

(website)

And if you find pencil skirts comfortable enough
http://www.express.com/catalog.....goryId=364

http://www.express.com/catalog.....goryId=424

http://www.express.com/catalog.....goryId=364

Ariadne

Veteran

Lots to think over here!

Mac, I like everything you suggested. If that cowl top wasn't so pricey I'd be all over it. I will look for a cheaper version.

Shiny, I'm not breastfeeding, but the idea of a uniform appeals immensely to me. The outfits you described your neighbor wearing are looks that have always attracted me. I have a black turtle, good jeans, and silver hoops and CZ studs. I could use more belts and a pair of loafers. I'd LOVE to pick up a couple of good non-iron collared shirts. I believe BR has some right now that I will check out when I get a chance. I like the idea of taking a simple, sophisticated outfit and adding eclectic touches through accessories. I would wear the buckle Docs I hope to get to the jeans and turtle, for example, or else my silver Docs.

Laura, I agree about dresses but I find I often feel sloppy in my current jersey ones. I need some better ones. The harness boot/jean/tank top/long sweater look definitely appeals to me and I have most of those elements (minus harness boots but maybe the slouchy NAS ones Angie posted could stand in).

Hot Mama is neat but doesn't ship to Canada.

Anne, I know what you mean! I always want to buy "smart casual" or dressy stuff. If I was not a mom I would want to dress the way Ana and Sarah do.

Inge--great ideas--most are too pricey, but just for inspiration, I like:
The Design History petal top (may actually order this instead of the Sweet Peas I was eyeing on eBay)
http://www.bluefly.com/Design-.....detail.fly

The VS rosette top
http://www2.victoriassecret.co.....rfnbr=5441

The AK braided banded top:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....6&P=5

The Ella Moss top
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....6&P=5

The Express top (LOVE the price and wish they'd ship to Canada! Boo!)
http://www.express.com/catalog.....egoryId=11

The Miss Sixty banded tunic
http://www.bluefly.com/Miss-Si.....detail.fly

The Autumn Cashmere popcorn sweater
http://www.bluefly.com/Autumn-.....detail.fly

The Clu dress
http://www.bluefly.com/Clu-gra.....detail.fly

The VS belted cowlneck dress
http://www2.victoriassecret.co.....rfnbr=2667

The Envi jersey dress in the Dot pattern
http://www.bluefly.com/Envi-do.....detail.fly

That helps me a bit in defining my style a little further... I can see I like details and texture a lot on otherwise simple shapes and solid colours.