Can you get over new style fear?

Anonymous

As mentioned on another thread, I love the biker jacket look on those members who've posted photos and even bought a couple of inexpensive fabric and knit/leather versions to try out. It's also great for my casual like style.
The style most like Angie's looks great on my body and gives me waist definition, but I still hesitate to wear it, fearing it's just too over the top for a 62-yr-old. The biker-inspired style with zippers but different collar, etc. is not as fab on. Does anyone else have the problem of wanting to wear this or any style, but afraid to commit? Have you gotten over fear of trying something new to you?

17 years ago

Dressing

10 replies

Latest reply was from Donna

Nicole

Veteran

This is a very good and very intriguing question. I keep forgetting you are 62. I know that lots of members here say age has nothing to do with how you dress, but I think as you get older, it does come into play. But, I don't think 62 is too old for a moto jacket, if it fits the rest of your style and lifestyle. My MIL is in her 60's but she's your typical "gramma"...she couldn't pull it off. But my mom, who just turned 80, probably could get away with it, (although I know she never would).

I think it's all about finding the specific one that works for you. It might not be typical, it might just have hints or influences of a certain style, but not over the top. I'd think that finding the moto jacket in a knit, or dark denim would work better for you, than say a distressed leather. But a sleek polished leather blazer might be more suitable for you.

As for your second half of the question...."have you gotten over the fear..." yes I definitely try things I am petrified of trying. Sometimes I'm surprised at how much I like something, and sometimes I just KNOW it's not a look for me. Even if EVERYONE around me is telling me it is has potential--I know my limits. I've made the mistake of keeping things that I didn't really like, but others have said I should keep. I usually regret those items. I have a pretty good idea the moment I try something on, if it's a style or look I'm comfortable with.

17 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Joy! When are we going to see a picture!

Nicole is spot on. I have a fabulous 68 year old client in a navy blue patent biker jacket. It looks killer with her short grey hair and funky, yet devastatingly elegant look. She is polished to the extreme. On the other hand, I have a 52 year old client who would look and feel silly in a biker jacket. She does not have the attitude or confidence to pull off the look. She looks AND feels so much better in her Ann Taylor blazers. This is my choice for her too. Does that make sense?

17 years ago

Kari

Veteran

Joy, my mom also worries about some looks being too "young" for her. Nearly all the time, it's honestly something that's adorable and looks age-appropriate on her. I think sometimes she assumes all trends are for youth only or would make her look like she's trying too hard, but most of the things she's tried are definitely looks she can pull off. I hope maybe I can find pictures on this forum of people her age (or older!) who dress stylishly but not "too young."

That being said, I'm balking at trying out the biker jacket trend too. On the one hand, there is the legitimate concern that I don't want to spend a bundle and I'd have a hard time finding a jacket that fit and flatters my bust. However, I'm also really chicken about trying out a new trend until I see someone else with a similar aesthetic and body type carry it off.

17 years ago

Anonymous

Angie, I'm the type who is more confident in the AT jacket although I really want to be that polished elegant woman who is still down-to-earth and approachable. I'm very ordinary looking and live in an area that is not urban stylish. Maybe if I wear the jackets I have more, I'll gain enough confidence to invest in a great leather one. Which comes first, the attitude or the clothes?

17 years ago

Maya

Veteran

I think part of being stylish is knowing when to enjoy a look on other people even if you can't enjoy it on yourself. I say you should always try new looks because you lose nothing by trying, but if you don't feel comfortable in it, it's not the end of the world. That is the conclusion I came to about skinnies. Like Nicole mentioned, I got lots of encouragement from here, but in the end, I did not feel good wearing them (at least not without a very long tunic or boots), and no amount of kind words would change that. I guess what I'm saying is that I see no reason to "get over" a new style fear, provided you have at least tried it.

OTOH, I do think a lot of women over 50 (even over 40) worry too much about looking "too young" (Tarzy knows this rant well) by indulging in current trends, and end up stifling their desires and personalities. My mom worries about this as well. I do think that society treats fashion as something reserved strictly for the young, and that anyone who is "older" needs to either look like a dump or extremely conservative (or the eccentric old cat lady down the street).

17 years ago

tarzy

Veteran

I think it's a process. At first I felt like I was wearing a big neon sign that said LOOK AT ME if I wore anything nice at all. But now I don't care.

The guy stocking the shelf at the grocery store yesterday said to me "Nice coat." The grocery store guy! It was just an AT trench coat from last year, but I guess compared to the college kids in their hoodies I was "dressed up."

There's nothing wrong with you being the most stylish woman you can be, no matter where you live! You're not dressing for them - you're dressing for yourself. (And I'd love to see a picture too. But I do understand your caution.)

17 years ago

judy

Veteran

Joy and all...I agree that is a process, and one that is begun when you actually try something you are a bit afraid of! Don't be afraid to push the envelope...where does that phrase come from, anyway...?...but rather than be overly concerned with age, I'd encourage you to focus more on the fit and color and pattern and texture...and whether or not YOU like something on you, because that is who you are with all the time :). I also notice that when I wear something out that seems a tad risky (to me), no one is recoiling in horror the way I could fear they might :)...they hardly notice at all, so it's really yourself in a way you are dressing for, though others will benefit from your confidence, even if it builds slowly!

17 years ago

ChristineB

Active Member

I don't think people look at us as much as they think we do. It's hard to realize, though. I'm afraid of boot cut & skinny pants because I'm self consious of my upper thighs. That is the fashion 'fear' I am going to try to get over. It's one of my New Year's Resolutions.

I say ease into the jacket. Commit yourself to wearing it at least once a week, and if, after a few of months, you still feel really uncomfortable with it, then maybe it's just not for you. However, if it makes you feel fab, then wear it, who cares what anyone else thinks?

17 years ago

judy

Veteran

On the age thing...another thing I've noticed is that there is a difference between an older women wearing clothes because she loves them and loves the way they makes her feel...versus someone wearing something to try and look young. The first one looks at ease in a way with herself and however old she is, she's wearing the clothes, they aren't wearing her. Also, there are other signs that one is struggling desperately to look young, like botoxed faces, or overly died hair or too much cleavage. Having some style icons that inspire us can help us express our "ageless" style...it might be interesting to post some pics of older women who look comfortable in their own skin. I am often inspired this way by pics of older women who end up being European, as the ones portrayed in celebrity American media often fall into the aging "Barbie" look. Suzanne Somers on Oprah looked kind of desperate to me...as opposed to say, Jamie Lee Curtis, who wears her hair short and gray and her life isn't about still looking young and beautiful, but more about the books she writes and the photos she takes. She is so alive and happy, and that's attractive. It's like vitality instead of vanity. Hopefully our clothes support us that way. Ok, I'll get off my soap box now :)!

17 years ago

Donna

Active Member

When I want to try something new, I find I'm more comfortable wearing it first when I'm alone so I can be comfortable with the look before my husband sees it on me. Sometimes he never does because I decide it's not me, but most times I can get comfortable with it and then when he does see it I have the confidence to feel good dressed in the new style.

I agree with Tara that it's a process and I'm finding it enjoyable even though sometimes I get stressed about the "is it too young?" thing. I also like what Judy said about clothes wearing you as opposed to you wearing the clothes.

I'm really enjoying reading the comments from both the young and the "ageless" (love that term) on this and other topics that are addressed on the forum. It helps me to think differently, so thanks everyone!

17 years ago

Category