Can I wear dresses? - YouLookFab Forum

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Can I wear dresses?

lucylove

Hi everyone

I used to practically live in dresses, usually knee-length, but since having my two children I have constant edema (swollen ankles) that is NOT attractive, and I avoid showing my lower legs at all costs. I recently saw a picture of me when I was a bridesmaid back in July, and had to wear a knee-length dress, and it depressed me to no end Truely cankles, even with heels. So anyway, my only alternative is maxis. However, I am 5'4" and an hourglass with pear tendencies (I'll get you all to verify that one day!) and wear a size 14 in pants and medium in tops. I am worried that maxis may swamp me and make me look like a frump. I only have one dress right now and it is very frump-worthy. I tried putting a wide belt around my waist, but it looked silly as I am short-waisted. Do I need to give up on dresses altogether?

Lucy

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from lucylove

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

No way, Lucy! Your cute, fuller ankles are welcome in this world. I have extremely bad varicose veins all over my legs and I sport shorter dresses sans the hose till the cows come home. It is what it is. We’ll try hard to find you shoes that are flattering instead. Think you can post a picture?

Anonymous

I'm so sorry that you feel frumpy Lucy. You have come to a good place to talk about this issue.
I have issues related to aging such as age spots on my legs. One of my favorite things that Angie has said to me on this site is, "Spotted legs are always welcome to me". I have felt more proud of my individual characteristics since taking that to heart. We are all different.

Dani

Veteran

Another vote for not giving up on dresses! We are all so hard on ourselves! If you love dresses, give them another go. If you feel good in what you're wearing, that will outshine any perceived "flaws." Attitude is half the battle. I second Angie, try focusing on a different pair of shoes. Thanks so much for posting...hopefully, we'll get you sorted!!

lucylove

ok, well I am going to be VERY brave like the rest of you lovely ladies, and post some pictures. I'll put them in a new thread on my body type...I'll post the skirt one on here as well though. I should point out that I am one of the world's most self-conscious people I am a musician, and as a female trumpet player I work with lots of men, and although I shouldn't care, because they are not hot at all and besides I have a lovely hubby, I always try to look nice. I don't want them seeing my cankles (thankles??)

You can see how negative I am being, but already I feel a little more positive reading other posts and seeing how supportive of each other you all are. It's a beautiful thing.

Ok, of to charge the camera and see if I can figure out how to post a pic. I doubt you will ever get me in a dress that will show off my ankles, but maybe you can tell me if you think maxis will work?

Lucy x

lucylove

this was hard.

http://s1008.photobucket.com/a.....=008-1.jpg

testing- to make sure it works... password is rootjoose

marianna

Veteran

Honestly, you are your own worst enemy. You do NOT have "cankles." I was expecting something completely different from reading your post. Nope, no cankles at all! You have perfectly adorable ankles and you can DEFINITELY wear dresses. Smile, you're beautiful!

lucylove

ok, well to be honest, I don't look so canklicious in this photo, but really, I do! Maybe I can try and post the pic of me as a bridesmaid so you can see my issue. Thanks Marianna for the feedback though.

lucylove

no good, the only other pics are on Facebook. Maybe I should just believe the pictures.

Mac

Veteran

Wow. You are *really* pretty and not at all what I expected from your negative self description. You can absolutely wear dresses and Angie will help you figure out what shapes, lengths and cuts to enhance what you've got. Yay, you, for being brave enough to post.

Louise

Veteran

Everyone can wear dresses it's just a matter of finding the right one. I hadn't worn skirts and dresses for years prior to finding YLF now i love them and wear them more than anything else i promise somewhere out there is the perfect dress x

Debora

Veteran

Lucylove, welcome! I think I'm going to have to call you Lucylove instead of Lucy because I love the sound of it!

You are sooo pretty and I'm giving you bonus points because you remind me of my best friend in the whole world! You can definitely wear dresses!!! I hope we get to see more of you!

edit: Oops, just reread your thread and saw that you are a trumpet player! More bonus points to you!!! My daughter played trumpet in high school and my son plays it now.

sinead

Lucy, I also expected to see something very different than the picture you posted. Sorry, you just don't have cankles. I know how easy it is for us to get an idea in our head, to see a bad photo or hear a bad comment, and consider it to be the TRUTH about us, forever and always. I hope you can let go of it and start to have fun dressing your lovely self.

Alecia

Veteran

Welcome, Lucy! You should totally wear dresses. You have nothing to worry about with your ankles. They are lovely. For the record, I also once spent time worrying about ankle issues. So I do get it. But I'll tell you, it wasn't worth the energy. Channel that into finding a dress! So much more fun.

Anonymous

I expected a very different picture from your description of yourself. You have absolutely lovely legs. We will help you to find the styles that are the best for you. We each have styles that are best for us and this place is all about refining our style. Please enjoy the adventure and do not pick on your lovely legs and figure. You are so pretty.

As a side note, I went cross country skiing last January and strained my ankles in a fall. I swear ever since then my ankles are bigger and it does bother me to lose my cute little ankles that were me all of my life, (along with everything else that comes with getting older) but I cannot change it so I just tell myself that it really isn't that bad.
http://i477.photobucket.com/al.....0435-1.jpg
In this recent picture are my new more swollen ankles which probably look perfectly fine to others but I know the difference.

Edit: When I look at that picture I can focus on all of the arthritis in my hands and feet, but again I just have to let it go and focus on the better qualities.

Lena

Absolutely you can wear dresses, Lucy! For years I avoided skirts and dresses because I was insecure about my legs, and finally realized that the problem was with the shape and style of skirts and shoes, not my ankles.

lucylove

you're all very sweet and inspirational- thanks. Maybe I will try a dress one day- I never thought I'd be writing that-lol. I'll be sure to post a pic. I do have days when the edema is worse, for sure, usually when I have been walking around a lot, so I'll save the dresses for the low activity days. Thanks so much. x

lucylove

If anyone could suggest a style of dress I'd appreciate it. I always thought I was a pear, but according to the other board I am more of an apple, so I've been dressing wrong for a while I take it spaghetti straps are out? How about cut? And for the shoes, I'd imagine flats just accentuate bigger ankles? I like a wedge...would that work? Sorry for all the questions

Anonymous

I think a low vamp shoe would be nice and maybe in a nude color for starters. High vamp shoes or straps aroung the ankles are notorius for shortening the legs.
Also find the sweet spot on your legs for your best hem length. Try different lengths and post here for advice. How does that sound?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lucy, read this post for starters:

http://youlookfab.com/2007/05/.....le-apples/

Jillian

Lucy, you can wear dresses. Really! This forum has helped many people take a fashion leap into something they had crossed off their list forever. The group will support you and NOT let you go out looking cankalicious.

Also, San, I can't see any of the "flaws" you mention. The smile blinds me to them. A model for all of us

cciele

Veteran

Lucy, I also think you can wear dresses! Like san and others have said, it's just a matter of finding the right dress for you.

The cut -- avoid anything clingy around the midriff that doesn't have ruching or other such details. I'm not an apple (I'm a rectangle) and I look for the same in dresses.

I'm not an expert for dressing apples, but here are some suggestions (more expert people, please chime in if something is not suitable!), more for shape than color or pattern:

http://www.eddiebauer.com/cata.....D=88202841

http://www.whitehouseblackmark.....Affiliates

http://www.target.com/gp/detai.....M=Clothing||B001NLN1BU&CPNG=women&ref=tgt_adv_XSC10001
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....bqUA.l0qyg

This might be a bit more out of the box, but would look adorable with leggings (and yes, you can wear leggings!):
http://www1.bloomingdales.com/.....*-1*-1*124

lucylove

I actually love that last dress, Cielle. I like the bohemian look. It's only in a medium...does anyone know how Sweet Pea fit? I usually take a medium but I've gained a little weight and it may be a little tight on the hips!

Thanks all so much for the words and advice. San, is a low vamp shoe where you get a little toe cleavage? I can see how that would lengthen the leg. I avoid straps around the ankle like the plague, so no worries there! And btw, your "swollen ankles" issue is mad! You have such lovely, delicate enviable ankles!

Lucy x

lucylove

ok, who nabbed it? lol I went to buy it and it's gone. Oh well, not meant to be