San, That is one rude person, but I agree with Chris that I wouldn't take it too seriously or judge her for that. She might even be complaining about her husband and steaming that way. Just think how fortunate we all are to be even discussing it here.

I have a similar story... I was helping a computer science colleague to shop and she told a day before to another colleague that she asked my help to pick up a few things. The other colleague said " Why would you do that... she dresses like a girl!". When she told me the story while we were shopping, I said "We are not girls, we are women and it would be against our nature to dress like a boy." and we had a big laugh. Now I get a kick out of acting like a girl (!!) every time I see the person who commented like that, LOL!

I also read the post twice San and my interpretation was

I'm too modest to wear something like that = I do not have the confidence to wear something like that. I think she possibly felt insecure especially in light of her husbands control over her wardrobe. Perhaps she is not allowed to shop at Nordies?

However there is no excuse for rudeness and I think you coped admirably with the situation.

Thankyou everyone. Re reading this helps immensely because if I hadn't written it down and gotten feed back from you, it may have gotten to be a bigger deal in my head than it is.
I was shocked speechless at first, as time goes on I feel she is rude and bossy. I choose to not carry a grudge over the fence line and to keep a certain amount of distance.
I am still very curious about exactly what it was that was not modest enough? The boots over jeans? The skinny pants?
In actuality, her pants looked like ill fitting skinny jeans too. They were not loose by any means, just a little ill fitting and baggy in the rear. It must be the boots that she feels are not appropriate. I suppose I shouldn't be playing this guessing game with myself. She probably has her personality querks and I won the lotto of living next door to her. Oh well she is nice most of the time. However I have told my husband many times that she is so bossy.

Angie, I don't often shop at Sears or Nordstrom but I would have thought there is a difference in price point between the two. San takes the neighbor to Nordstrom, the neighbor takes San to Sears. Also, a lot of retired people I know rarely buy new clothes and skinny jeans and boots are a relatively new look (although San says she was in fact wearing skinny jeans so I don't think this is the issue). Being in a worse financial condition than others can make people say things they wouldn't normally, that is all I was saying. It doesn't make it right.
San, I really hope just minimizing your contact with this woman will solve your problem. You shouldn't have to give up your home

After the third time of reading i'm ready to answer! Don't pay one bit of notice to this woman, she's either rude, jealous or totally unstylish (or all 3!) You are an inspiration to us all, keep on doing exactly what you do xxx

San- there are so many people like that-- I remember when we had first moved into our house a neighbor came to visit. As she looked in my kitchen she said "oh, laminate... I had the granite put into mine" LOL I just love those type of people from afar

Since we are sharing have-you-ever stories, here's mine:

I have worn my hair short, a cut just like Angie's for about 15 years. (I am one of those people that actually looks better in short hair, having worn it both ways over the years).

At a new job, a woman in the office commented to me "My husband would divorce me if I ever came home with my hair cut like that. He hates short hair on women."

Thanks, good to know... thanks for sharing that unsolicited opinion...

Oh Claudia...I am speechless. So you should grow your hair to impress her husband? What is the point of saying something like that?

Hair seems to bring out the cattiness in some women. I noticed this a lot reading the WNTW forum, which is by nature chock full of insecure women. I can't tell you the number of times I heard "MEN LIKE LONG HAIR" as their reasoning. How my heart weeps for them, especially considering how very wrong they are. Men are not one unanimous blob. When I was a teen, the boys I had crushes on were always the edgy ones who loved short funky hair. Obviously I didn't take that too seriously though, because my hair has varied in length between chin length and mid-back for years, and at any given time and any given hair length, I have found boys/men (depending on my age) who like me just fine!

Wow San. Sorry you had to go through this. Great that you didn't grace this with a reply or reaction. Sounds like you're still a bit "hooked" by it if you're wondering which part she didn't consider modest. I would encourage you to let go of that. You rock style and let others thing what they will. As for this woman, she needs to learn the meaning of the word t-a-c-t and m-a-n-n-e-r-s. I have had many people say many extremely rude things to me over the years as I tend to buck tradition and as a result push buttons frequently. I have learned to that this is not me, this is them and that they are just clueless about what's coming out of their mouths and the possible impact it can have on others. Later, I have great jokes coming out of some of them that I can relate without pointing any fingers. And it's validating at that point as others get a laugh out of it too.

Wow, your neighbor need to think before talking! I am glad you have the confidence in the way you dress because you do it beautifully.

I've heard (here and other places) that some guys don't like the way skinny pants look on women. Who knows why. As far as taking one's husband's opinion into account, in some cases it's a matter of compromise for marital harmony, but in others, it's a control issue. I know women who would insist their husbands not wear that favorite Hawaiian shirt or band t-shirt when going out.

San, I'm shocked that anyone would even imply that you are immodest. You are *so* far from it! I suspect there is some jealousy and lack of confidence coloring her words. Too bad for her that she missed her chance to pick up some valuable shopping tips from YOU.

Isn't there a saying out there about how we can hear 100 positive comments and one negative...and we remember the one negative. You are such a lovely person! You can totally let this negative experience go. I think only the classiest of people would extend such a fun offer (shopping, lunch, etc.) to a newly retired neighbor.

Your neighbor sounds remarkably like my Grandmother. She is very bossy and says exactly what she thinks with no filter whatsoever (usually negative or insulting). I love her, but in small doses...and none of us in the family take her criticism too seriously. :o)

San - I just saw some recent pics of you (I've been away from the forum for a while) and MY GOD! You are incredibly stylish and totally FAB! I remember when you first started your fashion journey, and for me, you have achieved a level of sophistication, experimentation, and confidence that is awesome to see. Your hair, your glasses, your clothes, your boots - fab, fab, fab, fab. I am blown away by you!

I wish you were my neighbor/shopping partner!

San, that neighbor is really something! I wondered if she was really thinking, "I'd love to look like San but George would never allow it."
Not recommended, but I'm afraid my comment would have been (said with great disbelief), "Are you saying that George finds me sexy?!" or maybe "Oh, you poor thing! No wonder you always look so dowdy." Please know that you look gorgeous.

Joy, that made me break out laughing! Do you think you would have said one of those things?
This neighbor is very very thrifty and style is not important to her. When I say she had skinny jeans on, I mean she wore some jeans because they were cheap and she could button them, irregardless of the looks.
This is how she talks, "Oh cute shoes, how much did you pay for those?" Me, "Oh about $100". Her, "gasp, I have never paid $100 for a pair of shoes in my life!" Me, "gasp, you're kidding."
Now that I think about it, she did make some comments while in Nordstrom's that she is only wearing what she was because she is retired now, sort of making excuses for her look. I guess she must have felt somewhat sloppy and tried to make up for it.
That would be a whole other YLF Blog post wouldn't it. 'The things People Say When You're Looking Sharp, and They are Not.'
I guess that sentence is my revenge!
She also has the type of personality to want to tell people what to do.

Joy had the million dollar response LOVED it!!:)