https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 00:11:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757946 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 19:16:02 +0000 rachylou 1757946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Clothes don't form a conscious, high resolution picture for a lot of people. I will say things like remember the guy in the yellow shirt and folks wii be *no*. And I myself - well, I like to talk about my attention blindness. I can so easily walk into a store and come out with yet another puff sleeve top and red/blue plaid shirt. This is misleading because it's not a matter of personal style, my wearing this stuff. It's a byproduct of poor shopping skills. There are rather a lot of things, IMO, that can get in the way of execution and expression. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757921 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 18:01:21 +0000 chirico (Chiara) 1757921@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting thoughts, as always.<br /> I think sometimes, as in my mom's case, the other person in kinda frozen in a past perception. Since I never wore heels when I was in University, for several valid reasons, she assumes I don't wear heels now either.<br /> Other times, as someone mentioned, people see you only in one specific context, so it's more difficult to grab the different shades in one's style.<br /> Besides, figuring out one's style,it really takes at least a basic understanding of fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757912 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 17:21:16 +0000 Suz 1757912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Rachy</b>, so true. We want to be seen, known, recognized...</p> <p>On the whole I think <b>Tex</b> and&nbsp;<b>Andrea </b>are<b></b>&nbsp;right -- it takes a person who's quite aware of style and design or at least interested in it to really "get" one's style.&nbsp;</p> <p>But sometimes even interest in style won't guarantee it. I have a good friend, a poet, whose own style is a sort of funky rocker chic. Something like that. Very eclectic and a bit edgy but also feminine. And quite embellished and maximal. She's really tall, and she wears it all so incredibly well! She looks amazing.&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway, we were looking at bags together one day and I recall she recoiled at one I picked out as "far too plain" for me.&nbsp;</p> <p>No, it wasn't. It was too plain for <b>her</b>. For me, it was (almost) plain enough. &nbsp;;)&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757905 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 16:44:09 +0000 rachylou 1757905@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the thing is, we don't merely want others to like us: we want them to know us and like it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757849 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 14:17:24 +0000 Janet 1757849@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Archer, I am not sure what part of that you mean is BS. I think an individual's own style can very much be something that comes from deep personal expression, but we don't live in a vacuum -- as many have said in this thread here, we often dress to suit the occasion, audience, or societal norms. I think it's really hard to unravel the internal and external factors.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757848 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 14:15:06 +0000 Janet 1757848@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bennett, that is awful/hilarious!&nbsp;</p> <p>My dear late mom had a pretty good idea of what I would like. But she always preferred to shop with me anyway. However, when it came to buying presents for my two nieces, she had a weird knack for getting one totally right and one totally wrong. We still laugh about it to this day. The niece who always got the "wrong" things always "forgot" to pack the poorly chosen item when she would go back home. ;-)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757845 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 14:09:45 +0000 Archer 1757845@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is not the point of one's own style being something that is not a refection or a response to the gaze &nbsp;of others? Therefore seriously bull shit anyway?&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757615 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 23:23:58 +0000 Sal 1757615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bennett, that is a awful/horrific but funny in a very black way moment!! &nbsp;What a shock.</p> <p>I can pick some people's style for gifts quite easily but others can be a lot harder. &nbsp;And like Jenn, I am a bit picky on some colours, especially pinks, oranges and reds, and whites (I don't like a blue undertone on me).</p> <p>I think some of it is interest/power of observation. &nbsp;I am not brilliant for example when it comes to cars/technology or jewelry - I often just do not notice. &nbsp;One of my friends always notices new rings or earrings - it is her thing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757608 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 23:07:12 +0000 Jenn 1757608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My friends and family (at least those that matter) are pretty good at pinpointing my style, but they're often just a little off on colors. Everyone knows I like and wear autumnal colors, but I end up with a lot of bright reds and pumpkin oranges that sit unworn in my closet until I quietly give them away. I'm pickier about specific shades than people think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757604 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 22:54:58 +0000 Andrea H 1757604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's funny. I met up with a close male friend of mine at the Pru the other night to grab dinner after we'd done separate errands, and while we were there we wandered into the new Shinola store. (Which is absolutely gorgeous btw if you're into the Vintage Industrial vibe, even though the only thing I could reasonably afford in there is, like, a notebook.) We were drooling over the watches and leather goods, but he noticed he couldn't predict at all which I'd like best. He said something like, "You're really good at knowing what's my style and I'm really crappy at knowing what's yours."</p> <p>I ~think~ that most of the time it's not that we aren't projecting what we think we're projecting or whatever, it's that most people are crap at correctly identifying other people's style. You need a certain eye for it, a talent, as well as an interest in fashion or design. That's why we have talented professionals like Angie and gifted amateurs like us Fabbers Every time I get a deeply misguided gift from someone who honestly thought I should love it, I remind myself that a lot of people just don't have the knack. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757600 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 22:48:21 +0000 Penny 1757600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>With the exception of my grandmother, who regularly gives me rhinestone dolphin jewelry that would have been a hit with me 25 years ago, most folks seem to recognize my style: I've received a number of comments like "that looks just like you" or "surely you've always had that." I wonder if it depends on the breadth of your wardrobe/ style preferences - mine are fairly cohesive and so I am often wearing a variation of other items that make me happy. . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style/page/2#post-1757599 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 22:45:59 +0000 rachylou 1757599@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Omg, Bennett. That's the best story ever. I'm thinking MIL thought that was the best sweater set ever. Clearly everyone got one </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757592 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 22:26:07 +0000 Bennett 1757592@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I commented on a previous thread regarding my MIL's puzzling gifts of clothing to me, maybe she is dressing the woman she wishes her son had married???</p> <p>Funny, funny, funny story: When my husband's grandmother passed away at nearly 100 years of age, I wore a pale pink cashmere sweater set with 'diamond' buttons up the front. It was a Christmas gift from my MIL. </p> <p>Imagine my horror upon approaching the casket and seeing deceased great gram dressed in THE EXACT SAME SWEATER SET. Diamond buttons and all! Wonder who got her that ???! </p> <p>Needless to say I quickly retrieved my coat and walked around buttoned up in it for the rest of the services.<br /> I'm still scarred by it ......... : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757576 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 21:58:54 +0000 shedev 1757576@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mom, the same person that teases me for packing a suitcase full of grey and black clothes, got me a giant poncho in soul sucking beige with some sort of tribal like print on it for christmas a couple years ago. It was so long that it nearly touched the ground. Most people in my life realize that I do my own thing when it comes to clothes. I get a lot of compliments from my coworkers because I like clothes with a lot of details and luxe fabrics. They see the sporty side of my style because I wear some of the clothes from a couple years ago. I wouldn't know where to begin to explain dystopian luxe to them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757562 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 21:31:28 +0000 rachylou 1757562@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's what all my hopes ride on Alexandra! Lol. But you know, I shop where everyone else does so... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757544 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 20:24:51 +0000 JAileen 1757544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mother in law used to give me things that were the opposite of my style. Such as an acrylic pink sweater with embroidered flowers. I would never ever wear that. Every year it was something really awful. I started to wonder if it was some sort of passive aggressive behavior. Last Christmas she gave me a fake leather handbag. Not only do I not like fake leather, but I didn't like the style of the bag, and to top it off, it was brown. It turns out she's developing dementia. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757537 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 20:01:09 +0000 Alexandra 1757537@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, yes, I do that too. But I'm thinking that the style is still mine because everything I buy or make reflects who I am inside. So even wrapped up in multiple layers, with a heating pad under my feet, I still look recognizably like me. Same for you, right? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757506 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 18:24:34 +0000 rachylou 1757506@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm back Like a bad penny! But this is a really good one to me. Because I think it's easier to simply look nice than to achieve a specific style day in and day out. There are many distractions. For example, when I get up, I just want to be warm. It's a pretty overriding desire. I'll wear anything in any combo to achieve that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757500 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 18:08:22 +0000 cindysmith 1757500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think people who have known me for a really long time see my style more accurately than people who have only known me for the last decade or so. See, my mom knows that, no matter what style I've dressed in at any given phase of my life, I'm always drawn to things that are a bit "off", off-putting, edgy, tough, or just plain weird. People who have only known me for the last 2 or 3 years probably think the same thing. Those who have only known me since I got sober probably still associate me with the stuff I wore for the first 8 or so years of sobriety, which was much more polished and dressy than my current style. </p> <p>Ultimately, though, I do think that the stuff I wear now isn't as out there as I would like to wear, or as I feel inside. However, I live in a real small town in rural Texas, and I don't want to get tarred and feathered, so I do tend to mix it with more minimalist pieces. I have a hard time making small talk IRL, so I would really like to wear things that keep people at a distance so that I don't have to feel awkward LOL. Since I mix my dystopian pieces with minimalist ones, strangers in public probably don't see me the way I see myself </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757492 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 17:56:03 +0000 Helena 1757492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think generally the particularities of my style are so subtle (e.g. the relative skin-flattering merit of navy over black), that most people wouldn't notice them. I think generally I am seen as relatively polished and conservative, which is fair. My husband despairs of my modesty in dress but has learned to live with it! I do have one friend who I THINK assumes I dress modestly out of lack of confidence, and classic because I'm not up on trends. Both are incorrect but whatever.&nbsp;</p> <p>I recently read somewhere that personal style could be determined by applying a "dress for the job you want" philosophy to your personal/casual style. For me this is roughly "respectable mom and wife" &nbsp;(yes, that is a little 1950s Cleaver-esque of me) which I think I have covered, so beyond that, people can think what they like! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757483 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 17:09:20 +0000 texstyle 1757483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thinking back I remember my mom-in-laws husband once picking out a dress for me (she took him shopping to help choose gifts) and it was perfect in every way - at that time I should add. I wouldn't wear the same dress today as it was a much softer/younger style than I prefer now, but at the time it not only fit perfectly, the colors were right as was the style. And my mom-in-law has learned more about my style I think as she does a pretty good job guessing what I might like. So I guess after some thought, there are some people who do get my style, but mostly because they like to shop/dress themselves as well so they are into fashion more than most. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757474 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 16:31:17 +0000 always trying 1757474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I dress only to please me.&nbsp; Used to get recognition at work, and stated&nbsp; as an example of how we should dress. </p> <p>I get compliments sometimes, but usually about my shoes or one item I am wearing.&nbsp;&nbsp;sometimes someone,Frequently DH, says something like "you look nice".&nbsp; But I am of the belief that most people pay absolutely no attention to what you are wearing. This is of course unless you are wearing something that really stands out.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757467 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 16:20:40 +0000 texstyle 1757467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think I have a clue about how others see my style!&nbsp; No one I know really talks about style (which is why I'm here so often).&nbsp; I hope that the sometimes random compliments I get might mean that they see it as something they like and that I am approachable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757465 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 16:15:44 +0000 Anonymous 1757465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think people see me as El Casual (La Casualista?), and I do think I present as such. However, I have been trying to take on a dressier look since joining YLF, and I'm not super-sure I'm succeeding, ha!<br />Lately I've been thinking about quitting the fight against 'Casual Creep' and focussing my efforts on finding a great casual style that works for my life...hmmm... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757440 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 14:24:47 +0000 Anonymous 1757440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh!&nbsp; I wonder if <b>Bijou</b> didn't hit upon the answer.&nbsp; Her response makes a lot of sense to me and fits human nature to a tee.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757434 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 13:44:45 +0000 Janet 1757434@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that I've come to a place where my style has gotten more consistent, and in the process it becomes easier for people to see it as part of me.&nbsp;</p> <p>My husband tends to think I can pull off looks that are best left to someone younger and thinner. In a way, I hate to burst his bubble, so I've learned to deflect. :-)&nbsp;</p> <p>Gifts are a funny thing. People tend to repeat what was once successful, even if years have passed and tastes may have changed. One of my dear friends received a funny pig figurine decades ago, as a bit of an inside joke. Well, it led to years of people giving her pig-themed memorabilia. She has been over it for a long time, but it's tough to get people to stop once they've associated a certain motif with you.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757433 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 13:37:05 +0000 Alexandra 1757433@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Apparently, I have a consistent style that really expresses who I am because most people who've known me for a while can correctly point out garments and accessories that I would wear. I've always found it funny but also reassuring because it says that others see me as I see me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757432 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 13:35:46 +0000 Anonymous 1757432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No one in my life, other than my mother, has ever suggested to me what to wear. I always get compliments on what I wear, and no one has ever said that what I wear doesn't suit me. If they think that, they certainly aren't voicing it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757431 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 13:06:04 +0000 Bijou 1757431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For me it is more what other people like me to wear vs what I do wear. My husband loves it when I wear minimal black clothing, that veers towards hard edge (black shift dress with an Alexander McQueen skull scarf, black Burberry trench and black boots)...whereas my Mum loves me in colour, wearing something quite dressy. Personally I like dressing according to my mood, but will deliberately dress to please the important people in my life from time to time.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-style-vs-how-others-see-your-style#post-1757429 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 12:54:52 +0000 Traci 1757429@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think this is just a part of the human condition. &nbsp;I'm often flumoxed by the knowledge that others don't see *me* as I see myself. &nbsp;Not just the outer me, but my motivations, intentions, fears, insecurities. &nbsp;It's just a fact of life that there is so much complexity to us as human beings that no one can ever really get all of it. &nbsp;Some come close.</p> <p>This extends to fashion too. &nbsp;It's easy to see someone always wears a particular red scarf, but what to make of it? &nbsp;Maybe it's sentimental? Maybe it's the color? &nbsp;Maybe it's was chosen for fiber content? &nbsp;Maybe it was the last color left at deep discount? &nbsp;Who could know? &nbsp;So we tend to filter the information through our own filters and come up with conclusions that may not fit. &nbsp; </p>