https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 20 May 2026 19:23:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783554 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 04:40:48 +0000 DonnaF 783554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, my mother warned me, too, about wearing nice underwear. . . .I don't remember ever saying that to my daughter, however.</p> <p>I only remember my mother being highly critical of my farmer john cut-off men's overalls that I would wear with my Scout friends. They apparently scandalized my relatives as well. The more she made mention the more I wore them. In fact, I think I wore out a pair and then had to track down another small sized pair to cut down. I still have those things after more than 40 years although I haven't worn them in decades.</p> <p>I grew up in the miniskirt era but never wore my skirts that short because I was (and am) self-conscious about my fat legs and bad knees. I'm fairly full-busted but the girls are not positioned to give me cleavage and I was never into wearing revealing clothing so that was never an issue. My parents did not pay for my clothes after junior high that I can remember, and I never had any money so I hardly had any clothing so there was nothing for them to complain about really.</p> <p>As for DD: I warn her about tottering heels, comfort, and wasting her money, but she still has to learn the hard way. I've objected to some items that her dad let her buy when he was with her because the look borders on 'ho' and I don't want her to be mistaken for one. She generally dresses pretty modestly for her age group and doesn't like to be harassed so she knows what I mean. I also helped her dress for a summer job interview for a position with a conservative dress code so she went from 16 to 23 years old in a blink (and landed the most responsible placement!). And before she left for college, I took her in for a bra fitting because I knew she had no inkling of what a proper fitting bra felt and looked like. I would like her to have fewer items but higher quality (than F21/Charlotte Russe at least), but that is for her to decide. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783496 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 03:23:51 +0000 Aziraphale 783496@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, Ruth: I swear my mom gave the same "wear nice underpants in case you're in car accident" advice once! But then, as a teenager, I really was in a car accident, and they had to cut off all my clothes (including bra and underpants), and neither she, I, nor the emergency room staff could have cared less whether or not my undies were raggedy, given what a state the rest of me was in. Mom was just happy to find me at the hospital, and not the morgue.</p> <p>Junebug: to answer your question: I'm not quite there yet with my own daughter, who is nine, but I don't plan to follow my own mother's footsteps. You see, my mother was very conservative and a little prudish, and I was always the very last to be allowed to do or wear anything -- if I was ever allowed to do or wear it. My mom's reasoning was this: if you do x now (x being wearing makeup, getting my hair coloured, piercing my ears, going out on a date, whatever) you will run out of things to experiment with before you're an adult and you'll start experimenting with drugs. (Whaaaa???) It was very frustrating, and did not have the desired result, because it just enouraged me to be dishonest -- wearing makeup to school and washing it off, changing clothes at school, sneaking out to parties, etc. And no, I didn't start experimenting with drugs.</p> <p>Interestingly, there was never really an issue with wearing revealing/sexy clothes, as I wasn't really interested in that. It was the 80s, I was kind of mod, and pointy flat shoes, eyeliner and loose black long tops were the cool thing. Then it was grunge, which was just about the least sexy style movement ever. The only time I can remember having a disagreement about sexy clothes was in grade eight, when I wanted to buy a pencil skirt like all the other girls had, and I was not allowed because they were "too grown up". </p> <p>With my own daughter, I'll play it by ear, but if I decide that certain styles are not appropriate, I will explain the my reasons, and let her explain her point of view to me. And we'll see. It's hard to know what the issues are going to be ahead of time. We'll certainly have some talks about sexual attention, and the pros and cons of attracting it, and the responsibilities that go along with it. And if she wants to do other weird stuff that isn't sexual in nature -- I don't know, pierce her face? -- we'll take that item by item. Some things I'd probably say yes to because they seem ridiculous but harmless to me (eyebrow piercings) and others, I'd say definitely not, at least not as a teenager (ear tunnels that leave huge scars/tattoos/tongue piercings). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783405 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 01:25:35 +0000 Gaylene 783405@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My grandmother sewed couture when she was in Europe and passed her skills on to my mother. My mom was a "working girl" (her exact words) in the early forties before she met and married my dad just before the end of the war. She continued to work up until my younger sister was born, which was VERY unusual for a married woman with two young children in those days. She dressed beautifully because she made all of her own tailored suits and dresses. My dad was totally smitten by her when they met one afternoon and (again her words) "pestered" her until she would go out with him. Even as a child, I knew that my mom was quite beautiful.</p> <p>Both my sister and I were lucky that she wanted both of us to look as good as she did; we would tear out pictures in magazines when we were teenagers so she could reproduce the Mod clothes that were so in fashion in England but non-existent in Canada at the time. She taught both my sister and I to sew and helped us design and reproduce things that we saw in the shops but couldn't afford to buy. </p> <p>The only battles that I remember having was my wanting to wear jeans. To her, jeans were men's work clothes and she couldn't understand why I would want to wear something that to her was so ugly. She also hated cheap, ill-fitting clothes for herself and when she saw it on others. She was fanatical about altering everything until it fit perfectly.</p> <p>Thinking back, I think most of my friends thought I was rather lucky to have a mother who enjoyed fashion. Even as a teenager, I remember being quite proud of her, especially since she was one of the first women to embrace wearing a pant suit to work. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783396 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:55:42 +0000 JuneBug 783396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Transcona, hijacks are welcome on this thread! Did you infact heed your mother's advise and find yourself in pretty underwear that day? So lovely to reminisce. </p> <p>And so many sorts of mother's and I'm sure they're proud of how their offspring turned out- stylish! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783376 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:27:06 +0000 Transcona Shannon 783376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yep Suz - crossing the street by St. Boniface Hospital at the corner of Goulet (lyn* - you know where that is) and a lady ran the red light and caught me in the hip when I was crossing the street. I flew over the car and hit the hood with my head and landed on the other side of the street. 17 stitches in the back of my head and 12 in the back of my leg. And my primary concern was my underwear!</p> <p>Sorry for the thread hijack - figured I should answer the question! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783360 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:07:16 +0000 rachylou 783360@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, my people are very good at this. I had total freedom. No rules laid out for me. I could, for example, have a monogrammed crewneck sweater in <em>any</em> color of my choice! Woo hoo! Hahaha! That makes me laugh. You see how that goes. Quite good. </p> <p>Then, a favorite pastime of my family on all sides is evaluating aesthetics and quality in all realms. You're set to keeping a lookout for cheap and tacky right from the get-go. It's a great game to guess what ingredients went into a dish, to argue the design influences on such-and-such a chair, etc. etc.</p> <p>I pretty much took the same route with my daughter. No obvious veto power and or use thereof. Rather, ongoing discussion of what looks good, what looks bad, what's too much or too little. What suits her best personally as opposed to what's cool in general. Of course, I'm a *fashion airhead.* I thought it clever when she cut up shirts and put them back together a different way - or took paint pens to her jeans.</p> <p>My dd and I discuss these things still, tho she's fledged. I ask my mother her opinion still...Interestingly enough, I caught some flak once from some of my mother's friends for asking her opinion on fabric choices for my sofa. They thought that breached some boundary between adult child and parent. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783339 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:10:24 +0000 Nidhi 783339@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can I say it? Reading all the comments above, I realize how much I miss my mom. She is miles away in India :(((( I miss shopping for traditional Indian wear with her, she has great taste in sarees! She is always a neat dresser and did not pose too many restrictions on us as long as we were decently clothed. I miss my mommmmmmmmmmmmmm bwaaaaaaaaaaaaa </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783291 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:48:36 +0000 Anonymous 783291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@caro: My mom permed my hair, too. What's up with that? I remember being glad when I got old enough to decide for myself how to style my hair. I haven't had a perm since. Got tired of all the post-perm hot oil treatments I had to do to combat overproceesed hair that looked and felt like straw. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783285 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:42:51 +0000 Caro in Oz 783285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had the good underwear one - which I still follow.<br /> Also my mother was fantastic at seeing quality at any price-point. She bought designer items second-hand &amp; cheaper basics on sale. I guess the negative I took from her was that I thought I couldn't pay full price for anything. I realised a few years ago mum shopped like that because she had to &amp; I'm fortunate that I don't.<br /> We didn't have any problems on the modesty/make up front because I didn't push any boundaries that way. She did however perm my hair (which I hated) &amp; we had terrible fights over it when I reached my teens. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783281 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:41:00 +0000 Suz 783281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, you're joking! That actually happened to you!! (I got the same advice, too, by the way, and also from my father, who was a doctor and did a rotation in emergency, naturally....) </p> <p>My mother didn't give me a whole lot of fashion advice. She did set both a positive and a negative example. </p> <p>Positive in the sense that I knew she enjoyed pretty clothes. I had a dress up trunk full of her older things (many of them in cuts and styles that I still admire...the full skirted looks that Angie sported today, and the mod looks of the 60s). </p> <p>She also took me shopping with her and I learned a bit about fit and fabric quality from these expeditions.</p> <p>But she set a negative example, too, in the sense that it was difficult for her to spend money on herself and most of the time she wore stretch pants and a button down at home with old socks in winter and flip flops in summer. When she *did* dress up she could look lovely, but it rarely happened. </p> <p>In terms of advice, other than the clean underwear, she allowed me to buy my own clothes with a (small) clothing allowance supplemented by my earnings and the odd gift, starting when I was about 13. And she never overtly criticized what I chose, although occasionally she would roll her eyes at a pair of heels (that were truly too tall for me) or a pair of jeans that dragged on the ground. She could also be quite positive about other choices and would tell me if she thought something was nice on me. I was always a modest dresser and not very trendy, so she didn't really have much to worry about. </p> <p>My own daughter has just turned 13. She has no interest in fashion. She's a real tomboy. I don't set rules for her except that if we are going to a dressy event she MUST wear dressier clothing. I don't insist on a dress, but I do ask that she wear proper trousers (vs. jeans), a nice top, and a pretty sweater vs. a hoodie. </p> <p>Apart from that, I pretty much allow her to do as she wishes, which is really just jeans, a T, and a hoodie over top. She prefers a boyfriend fit jean. It's okay with me as long as she is tidy and groomed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783269 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:20:12 +0000 Kristin L 783269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Transconda Shannon - My mom tells the the same! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783256 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:03:41 +0000 Anonymous 783256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Transcona: ROFL! My mother gave me the same "car accident" advice. How funny, eh? But hey, I always wear good underwear.</p> <p>My mother was more strict about makeup than she was about clothing. She allowed me to experiment with whatever clothing style I wanted to wear, as long as it was relatively modest. I say "relatively" because she didn't mind if I wore a bikini , a sundress, a top that exposed my bellybutton, etc. The only thing she objected to were skirts/dresses that were too short; but even then, she'd just tell me to wear shorts underneath. She never acted uptight about it. Looking back, I think she was wise not to make a big deal out of my clothing choices. I didn't rebel like so many other girls did, and I'm now a fairly conservative dresser.</p> <p>BTW, now that I've left my DD alone about her shoes, she told me yesterday that she wants to look for a good pair of boots. Go figure. Hee-hee. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783239 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:46:43 +0000 Transcona Shannon 783239@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The only dressing advice I received from my mother was: "Wear your good underwear. If you get in a car accident you don't want anyone seeing raggedy underpants".</p> <p>I always thought that was the silliest advice EVER and then one day crossing the street as a pedestrian, I got hit by a car that ran a red light. When I came to in the ambulance they were cutting off my pants and you know what I thought of first? "what underwear am I wearing"? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783219 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:14:50 +0000 Echo 783219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mother always was and still is quite conservative - no two-piece bathing suits, no cleavage (not that I ever had any at that age), no short skirts. She bought my jackets too big, but that was mostly because she expected I would grow into them. But unlike my sister I stayed short and smaller, so they never fit.</p> <p>I rebelled in the sense that I wore all black and army green, wore band or Sid &amp; Nancy t-shirts, and put pink or blue streaks in my hair, but I never rebelled in the sense that I ever wanted to dress in a more revealing way. </p> <p>IMO, there are so many very tight, very low cut, very short skirts and dresses, etc. for girls beginning at very young ages, so it is actually better to have a mother establish some rules. If a girl looked at the media or in the stores for how to dress, I shudder to think about what the result would be. Parents guide kids; that is what parents are for. I cannot imagine encouraging a daughter to dress in a more revealing way. I don't consider myself overly conservative, and I won't put unreasonable restrictions on my DD, but while she is in my house, she needs to follow my rules. She is still quite young, but she is currently FAR more interested in comfort than style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783218 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:13:48 +0000 jenanded 783218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mum thought 'black' was for shop workers not women who should become intellectual and I didnt have anything black until she died when I was in my 30s. i wore my skirts longer than hers. We didn't talk about nor flaunt cleavage and we were quite big busted... I sometimes shop with fond memories one of her favourite brands. My daughter is now 20 and much tinier than other women in our family. She wears cute litle short length dresses and things but has never been provovative in her dress - perhaps even more conservative than i would have been. So very interesting... I can only be proud of how pretty she looks but I have never had to veto anything... well perhaps a couple of times a reminder to wear full panties not a g with a short skirt What a nice post to think about your mum and your daughters... and by the way, I wish I had been more outgoing or spent more on clothes when I was younger. Now I spend more but I am too old for the clothes to appreciate me properly (but then i suspect I have done this all my life!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783197 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 19:46:23 +0000 TraceyLiz65 783197@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a 21 year old daughter who was too conservative in my book for her age... For her 16th b'day I sent her on a trip to Japan and she came back with a renewed perspective. She developed young and was not ready and has a larger chest size than I do. After experiencing group baths in Japan and seeing the admiration of the young Japanese girls she embraced her body. I loved that for her and am happy that she never went to an extreme that made me uncomfortable. I am not big on showing cleavage myself because I am the mother of three sons and she has mirrored that except on some rare occasions where she may show more in a formal dress... I talked to her about owning her sexuality and being more covertly sexy(form fitting, but not showing lots of skin) and she seems to have gone that route. I also gave her permission to wear makeup in middle school and she found it too much trouble. I think if I had told her she had to wait longer, she might have rebelled more. My mother had rules on makeup, but I will never forget when I asked her for shorter shorts, that she didn't even balk and bought me 6 pairs... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/your-mother%e2%80%99s-dressing-tips#post-783180 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 19:31:27 +0000 JuneBug 783180@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Every mother to a young teenage girl these days, finds herself less and less able to control how her daughter wants to dress herself and it’s a constant struggle till the daughter is physically too far away for her mother to interfere. My mother is extremely conservative in her views when it comes to dressing, although surprisingly progressive otherwise! </p> <p>Growing up, during my teenage years the rules to dress by were never to wear a spaghetti or halter strap anything, skirts could only be of knee length or longer but never less than an inch above my knees, no makeup other than an eye pencil and nail varnish till the age of 16 and all of my jackets and outer wear were never properly fitted on me. They were of the snug and structured style that I always preferred, but always a half size larger than what was perfect on me because my mom didn’t appreciate the curves it created! So I had 4 or 5 pricey jackets in denim, tweed, fleece and wool all in the wrong size! What injustice to the clothing it was! My jeans and pants too were straight leg or ‘closely’ fitted not skinny, my tops always reached my hips atleast and cleavage wasn’t a word in our dictionary! Although my mom could appreciate form fitted clothing on other people, it was never acceptable that I be dressed like them! Initially a lot of this didn’t really matter to me because I didn’t know any better and just wanted to be neatly turned out but there were many small arguments we had over practically every piece of clothing by the time I was 18! I was dressed like someone in their 30’s! </p> <p>When I was wearing clothes that I had bought for myself, I realized where her conservative attitude came from. She thought that dressing in a manner that didn’t call for attention would help me develop other aspects of my intellectual personality and would keep me protected from the glare of boys my age! I’m not sure if that worked out perfectly as I did have boyfriends, and though they were very decent, my mother never knew of them! Ever since I began supporting myself I also dressed my age and in the right sizes, but I was never drawn to overtly revealing or attention grabbing clothes. I wasn’t the rebel my mother was so afraid of! </p> <p>When visiting her these days, I don’t necessarily fall back on those rules but make sure there’s no cleavage or short skirt in sight because she is uncomfortable with me in them. </p> <p>I don’t yet have any kids, but am curious to know how all of you impeccably styled mothers-to-teenage-daughter’s here interact and deal with dressing situations. Do you have ground rules like I had, do you have a say in her clothing items and makeup or do you expect them to be mature enough to present themselves to their own discretion? Do you fear you might turn into your mother in time (if she was or is as conservative in dressing as mine)? Or did you grow up with similar rules? </p>