https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 04 Apr 2026 11:30:16 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1192027 Wed, 12 Mar 2014 01:20:25 +0000 Gigi 1192027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What great examples you all have given...it's such a relief to know I'm not the only one with this problem. In fact, I apparently have lots of company!<br /><b><br /></b><b></b>Great ideas to dress in a nongirly way. Although I do like to dress whimsically now and then! I did buy a couple of skater skirts, which are girly, but they are faux leather, so they are grown-up. Plus, I've been wearing them with heeled boots. Today I have on a cute sweater with an apple on it...but I'm wearing black coated skinnies that look like leather pants. I'll just have to watch what I pair the girly stuff with.&nbsp;<br /><b><br /></b></p> <p><b></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191765 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:42:11 +0000 Suzanne (ambergreen) 1191765@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ughhh, you guys are reminding me of so many similar experiences, including an "oh, are you on your way to school?" in my 20s and getting stared at by my college freshman students (generally, they were 17 to 19) at the start of semesters when I taught as a grad student. I knew exactly why they did that, and they weren't shy about asking my age. They said I barely looked older than they were. Well, I was 35. Once we got past that, though, everything was fine.</p> <p>Anyway...I was interested to hear about the "no mary janes" idea. I surprised myself a few years ago by getting a couple of pairs--they were super comfy for work. But I do de-girly them by avoiding white or high-contrast hosiery. I even wear them with skinnies. The impression could vary depending on the particular style and details. For sure, patent would be just too much...! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191702 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:32:54 +0000 Irene 1191702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a very soft, feminine face (small nose, thick lips, rosy cheeks, wavy fine baby hair). I'm also curvy all over. I'm not especially short though. I am very feminine-looking. Just last week I was asked whether I was coming back from school. And when I say school, I don't mean college. I mean High school -we do have that distinction in Spanish. I am 26.</p> <p>Unlike you, however, <i>I</i> think that I can get away with more masculine, edgy stuff because I still look like a girl. I actually think that more androgynous women should be careful with masculine attire, since it can give the wrong vibe, but no matter how much leather I wear -and combat boots, and over-sized sweaters-, I still look like a woman.</p> <p>Too feminine clothes can look a bit twee on me, anyways, although I like that from time to time, too.&nbsp; </p> <p>I say if you want to wear leather jackets, do so!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191606 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:10:26 +0000 April 1191606@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gigi, I would suggest avoiding any styles that would look appropriate on a little girl. Pencil skirts over twirly or frothy styles, no maryjane style shoes, limit frilliness. When you're small, that kind of thing can really challenge the "I'm an adult woman" message.</p> <p>Also, there's something my friend Paul used to call "acting short." By which he meant things like being giggly, or using what's now called a "sexy baby" voice, or using "upspeak", or making a big deal out of not being able to reach something on a high shelf. Any constellation of those behaviors really magnifies others' perceptions of one as someone who might need a booster seat. </p> <p>And let's not kid ourselves - we've all known petite women who get off on that perception: "I'm small and sweet and fluffy! Isn't it adorable?" </p> <p>Please. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191535 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:23:32 +0000 MuseumGal 1191535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm 46, and I still get carded occasionally, and flirted with by teenaged boys (who are <i>not</i> looking for a cougar), and my husband, who is only 3.5 years older (and so about to turn 50), is often taken for my father.&nbsp; This all used to <i><b>really</b></i> bug me, but sometimes in the last 5 years or so, I just let it go.&nbsp; I'll be honest, it helps that my peers are wildly jealous of how youthful I look.&nbsp; And also, somehow I've developed an attitude of authority - in academia, while I'm occasionally taken for an undergrad, I'm just as often taken for a prof.&nbsp; When I was nursing, I was routinely taken for a Dr.&nbsp; In my 20s and even into my 30s I was often overlooked or condescended too and I simply didn't know how to handle it.&nbsp; If it happened now, I'd quell them them a look and a well placed comment.&nbsp; I'm well aware of my own worth. <br />If you want to experiment with edgier looks, by all means go for it!&nbsp; We'll be here cheering you on from the sidelines and offering friendly suggestions and enthusiasm. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191381 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 04:17:18 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1191381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such a complicated issue for me. I have always been labled as "cute" and at 41, I really am finally appreciating the fact that I am often mistaken for younger, but it still stings when someone is condescending and makes assumptions. There is always an internal struggle between being flattered and annoyed - particularly at work. As some have said, I compensate a little for it with my hairstyle, but the clothing that I prefer all tends to be soft, pretty and youthful. Recently I realized that I have been feeling like a little kid at the grown up table and decided to let go of certian pieces of my style and replace those things with different silhouettes and simpler colors and patterns. I haven't embraced edgy and harsh things, other than in very small doses, because it truly isn't me, but I can incorporate other things that let me feel like I belong at the grown up table! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191346 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 03:36:29 +0000 Dee 1191346@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All the time!&nbsp;I just got carded (at 30) at a&nbsp;restaurant last week. In Canada.&nbsp;I'm petite and have always looked fairly young,&nbsp;and I still get a lot of more "cute" than anything else.&nbsp;</p> <p>It was a&nbsp;big problem when I first started teaching during grad school. Over the years, I've learned how to look a little more together than my students and also just generally increased my confidence standing in front of a crowd, which helps even if I do still look young.</p> <p>It hasn't put me off aiming for any particular styles though. I do avoid the juniors department to not compound the issue, but I have been starting to incorporate some edgier items and haven't found it to&nbsp;be a problem yet.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way/page/2#post-1191312 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 02:58:25 +0000 fuzzylogic 1191312@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm.. No I haven't experienced this personally.</p> <p>When I think of a baby face I of think of Miranda Kerr. Obviously I can't speak for her, but I don't see her let it get in the way of her (public/casual) style. She wears a variety of clothing types with aplomb! I wonder if it relates to self perception (either a girl or a woman) and the confidence or attitude that goes with that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1191296 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 02:40:09 +0000 Janet 1191296@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol Rae! I have Bitchy Resting Face. It's why I generally try to smile for photos. I look old and cranky when my face is at rest. Sigh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190941 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 21:49:50 +0000 rae 1190941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Coming back to this after some thinking... my sister and I are prone to what is known around the internet as "b*tchface." Pretty much the opposite of a cute babyface, lol. I think the both of us make a conscious effort to look more approachable for our jobs, wearing prettier fabrics, colors, jewelry, soft makeup colors. So it seems like the opposite should go for you! Edgier or severe makeup to go with the edgier clothes that may feel strange on you without it. And the hair, for sure.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190929 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 21:36:20 +0000 Anonymous 1190929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember feeling this. In my mid-twenties to about 35, all summer long&nbsp;I would be asked if I was the summer intern! Ugh. I hated that. I had worked hard to get to my position and to be dismissed was infuriating. I cut my long straight hair to a short more mature look. Along with a little make-up the comments became less. I hated it though. I referred to it has my&nbsp;soccer mom hair, lol. I still get comments that I look younger than I am&nbsp;but considering I will be 40 in a few months I will take it.</p> <p>If you want to look more edgy I think it needs to be the whole package otherwise you risk looking like it is not authentic. Hair and makeup are a good place to start. I doesn't have to be drastic, maybe hair to points instead of rounded. I think a young face and small frame can be a great juxtaposition to an edgy look.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190803 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 19:50:04 +0000 Echo 1190803@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have always looked "cute" instead of the older and more sophisticated pretty or beautiful. I am shorter of stature and I probably couldn't look tough if I tried,&nbsp;but that never defined my style. Indeed, I think edgy goes better with my looks because of the juxtaposition. We celebrate juxtaposition when people wear things that aren't "supposed" to go together in fashion, why not celebrate it with our looks, too? And I've never felt like my stature got in the way, either (except that all the pants I want to buy are too long!), because I tend to be very confident in who and what I am. You can only be pigeon-holed by your own assumptions. If others categorize you without getting to know you first, they do it at their own peril (or at least that's how I've always thought about it)! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190761 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 19:21:28 +0000 rachylou 1190761@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes... Had some problems wearing chucks and hair up in a ponytail... it's just not good when high school boys hit on you. And I think Miley Cyrus (sp?) is an example of how baby face... or duck face... can get in the way of looking tough and sophisticated.</p> <p>I agree with Tracey... short skirts, no teen shoes. Teen shoes, don't show leg. Also, going easy on the ornamentation on every front. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190752 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 19:08:41 +0000 DonnaF 1190752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Experiment with whatever you like!&nbsp; I am 5'1" with a round face, nearly 61, and my hairdresser calls me *cute* as I push him to give me an edgier look!&nbsp; Gr-r-r-r.&nbsp; I really like stompy footwear and I wanted Doc Marten Marissa sandals to edge up my look and thought my stocky legs would balance the heavy look.&nbsp; Alas, they are too much shoe for me.&nbsp; Something to consider as you explore that territory.</p> <p>Actually, IMHO, veering toward edgy may be a better alternative than veering toward twee.&nbsp; Betsey Johnson may be in her 70s, but at a certain point or wearing too much of her stuff IMHO can look a bit like the film, "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190685 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 18:17:58 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1190685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>At 48, I have always looked younger, something I inherited from my mother. I try to balance my style preferences to compensate. I love shorter skirts for instance but steer away from shoes teens might sport. I also steer away from kitchy prints but infuse lots of color and patterns. As a mother of a 27 year old son and 22 year old daughter, it is a balancing act and I think my DD isn't sure I get it right always... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190665 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 17:58:08 +0000 Gigi 1190665@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, this has been so therapeutic! I didn't realize so many people struggle with this, although I will say that I was wondering in advance whether certain of you would post. :^)&nbsp;I am 40, so the problem isn't as bad as it has been, but sometimes you just want to feel like a grown-up. I remember when I was 16, I went with my mom to Perkins for lunch, and the waitress brought me crayons and a placemat to color. She was apparently so confident of my little-girl status that she didn't even bother to ask my age! It was humiliating for me then, but funny now. I said to my mom, "I'm old enough to drive a car, and she's bringing me crayons?" :^)</p> <p>I will just carry on and&nbsp;give my eye time to adjust. I did get a bit of a tweak to my haircut last time, to try growing out some sideswept bangs rather than my usual "wispy" bangs. I think that is helping.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't wear makeup but just had a makeup consult, so I am going to start wearing some, which sounds like it will help too. I'm sure as I start experimenting with it, I will discover ways to apply it, or colors to use, that will make me look more serious.</p> <p>I do work at home, like some of you, so it's not as much of a problem anymore. But it's irritating to feel the "oh, you're just such a sweet, cute little girl" vibe even when out shopping or running errands! Argh!</p> <p>And <b>Denise</b>, you do not look old! In fact, when I first saw your post (before reading it), I said, "Ah, Cocolion. She does have a youthful appearance, doesn't she? No wonder she's chiming in!" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190656 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 17:54:04 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1190656@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've never had this issue - I'm tall and broad boned, so my issue was that when I was a kid I was always mistaken for older than I was - when I was in middle school someone thought I was in college! But I have friends who are petite or Asian and they've remarked about this issue. I think edge is a good idea if it's your style, and then otherwise make sure everything looks 'grown-up' and not cheap or juniors. </p> <p>Side note: sometimes people are just oblivious. When I had super-short hair people were constantly calling me sir and thinking I was a guy in situations like grocery shopping or getting coffee, i.e. a quick glance up. I may be tall and at the time had short hair, but I've got pretty obvious female characteristics all over the place, so... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190651 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 17:51:18 +0000 Suz 1190651@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gigi, I've been trying to come up with a helpful answer to this question.&nbsp;</p> <p>For years (all through my teens, twenties, and thirties) I had a very youthful "fresh-faced" kind of look that sometimes made people pigeonhole me as younger. And I DID find that it affected my style. I would try certain&nbsp;things (e.g. leather jackets) and just feel stupid in them. As you say -- like a little kid playing in someone else's closet. It wasn't just that I was "out of my comfort zone." Tough, harsh, heavy, and overly detailed or super high contrast&nbsp;clothing just didn't suit me.</p> <p>So I guess it's a question of how comfortable you feel experimenting beyond what flatters. What flatters depends on more than just body type -- it's also to do with facial features, colouring, manner. If style is the perfection of a point of view, we have to bring our full selves into the equation.&nbsp;</p> <p>Still, I think experimentation is key and it's okay to have fun and make mistakes, because otherwise, how are you going to learn what you love and what <b>does</b> work on you? &nbsp;When I joined YLF I bought all kinds of crazy items. Not crazy in themselves -- just crazy for me, in retrospect. Heck, I'm still experimenting and failing (I'm looking at you, orange pants).&nbsp;</p> <p>Ultimately, I'd say if you want to add a bit of edge, look first to haircut and specs (if you wear those) and then to footwear and bags as a great start. Jackets are also great, but might be trickier.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190624 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 17:29:16 +0000 Suzanne (ambergreen) 1190624@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have used edge for years to combat the problem of appearing too young myself, and it does help (I don't worry about it much anymore at my age, and plus, I also work at home now...but dealing with others' perception issues was absolute heck in my 20s).</p> <p>I've never felt there was a clash between me and my edge. It may just depend on the pieces, their fit, and whether your eye has adjusted? As you say, you're only beginning to experiment. Head-to-toe edge can look costumey on anyone, but you could try adding it with maybe one or two items per outfit. (And they don't all have to be black, like we were mostly limited to in the past, outside of some horrible 80s overly colorful mistakes). For instance, edgy boots and bracelet, but no moto jacket...things like that. You know, try it as a "seasoning." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190563 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 16:20:45 +0000 Diana 1190563@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally sympathize with you!&nbsp; I have always looked younger than my actual age, especially in the US.&nbsp; (IMO a lot of us of East Asian heritage tend to look on the young or at least age-indeterminate side).&nbsp; </p> <p>I agree that a haircut is the easiest way to add a little edge.&nbsp; I look a lot younger with long hair.&nbsp; I have also worn glasses pretty much my entire life and have never worn contacts because specs make me look older and more serious.&nbsp; </p> <p>I don't really think the fact that I look young has affected my <b>style</b> (at least not more so than the fact that I am short, or pear-shaped, or whatever) but I am quite self-conscious of it, particularly in a professional setting, and it does to some extent determine how I choose to express that style.&nbsp; I work in an academic lab where there are all sorts of ages from undergrads to professors and everything in between, and I get mistaken for a grad student way too often.&nbsp; I will do things like wear a blazer if I need to make it clear that I am not a student.&nbsp; I'm sure that once I get to the professor level this will be even more of an issue for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190428 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 14:23:00 +0000 Emily 1190428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gigi, I relate. &nbsp;I've always been on the petite end (5'4") and have been described as having a youthful face. &nbsp;I got pretty hung up on it, especially straight out of college and trying to be taken seriously at work, and I believe it was to my detriment style-wise. &nbsp;Wear what you like and own the look.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190410 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 14:07:09 +0000 ramya 1190410@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am soon to be 29. Most people donot believe it. I don't know why. <br />But I am termed as cute as well.<br />My dress style is classic and now I have given up on what people think my age is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190405 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 14:02:09 +0000 modgrl 1190405@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A couple of things have helped me overcome this issue. I wear a little bit of makeup most days. I also stay away from the Juniors section and try to buy things that are a little bit better quality and fit perfectly. That means being more picky and patient. These are not two of my stronger qualities, so it has been a challenge sometimes! Also shopping in the petite section means that clothes that are meant for adults, not teenagers, are actually proportioned for me. I understand many petites can get away with wearing regular, not petite clothes, but at 5' tall, I am not one of them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190341 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 12:53:44 +0000 Anonymous 1190341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gigi, I don't really have any advice, but I definitely relate! Frankly,&nbsp;I used to worry about this a lot more back when I was a teenager who looked like a little kid and a 20-something who looked like a teenager, but am kind of enjoying it now that I look more or less&nbsp;like an adult no matter what. Which is kind of shallow, but there you go.</p> <p>And I think the juxtaposition of edgier clothing on someone fresh-faced or conventionally "cute" is really striking,&nbsp;so I'd say you should just go for it!</p> <p>Denise, I don't think you look old at all! I actually remember being&nbsp;a little surprised when I saw you mention your age somewhere&nbsp;because I'd been assuming you were younger.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190312 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 12:04:01 +0000 Lavinia 1190312@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh my gosh! Yes, yes and yes! It's like you were describing me, Gigi!<br />I can totally relate. I turned 30 in August&nbsp;but I still have a baby face and small stature. The main problem for me isn't so much with clothes as it is with being taken seriously - I'm in the same boat as adorkable in this regard.</p> <p>However, since I'm back at working from home this is not a big issue anymore. No one can see how old I look, when I am sending my projects by e-mail :D</p> <p>I kind of made peace by now with how I look&nbsp;and wear whatever I like: I love pink and blush, florals, vintage bags, but also pleather dresses/jackets, military inspired shirts, dresses, liquid leggings etc.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think it's safe to say that I don't overthink this issue as much as&nbsp;I did just a couple of years back. Actually, I am kind of relieved that I am old enough now where I can take being mistaken for younger as a compliment.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think you just need to get used to seeing yourself in edgier things - and don't forget Angie's No.1 rule: HAVE FUN IN THE PROCESS! </p> <p>Btw: I drew my inspiration and confidence from petite&nbsp;bloggers such as Jean from extrapetite.com and other Asian bloggers (I hope this term is not offensive, I can't think of the PC English word, sorry), who usually have rounder and younger looking faces.&nbsp;</p> <p>In fact, Jean has a great article on this topic:&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.extrapetite.com/2010/05/reader-request-how-to-look-older-in.html">http://www.extrapetite.com/201.....er-in.html</a></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190311 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 11:59:44 +0000 Janet 1190311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just realized that my earlier response was more flippant than helpful -- sorry about that! I do think that someone with a "young" appearance can toughen up or mature their look by playing with elements of edgier style that appeal to that individual. I think it might just be a case of experimenting and letting your eye adjust to seeing yourself in new looks. Go for it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190307 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 11:52:39 +0000 Joyce B 1190307@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can understand what you are saying that when you are young if your features make you look younger it can get in the way.<br /> From my perspective it would be a nice problem to have.<br /> Maybe trying different clothing options and hairstyle can help, as was suggested by others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190305 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 11:43:57 +0000 Janet 1190305@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with IK and Denise. I always found it easier to look older than younger (I could sometimes pass for 18 when I was 14). But then I'm looking at the big 50 in a year and a half, so I'm inclined to think that anyone who looks naturally young should enjoy it! It's way easier to adopt a style that conveys maturity than to recapture lost youth! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190248 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 07:41:07 +0000 Lyn D. 1190248@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(I have never thought that about your face Denise!)<br />We are our own worst enemy and harshest critic I think.<br />I say wear what you want to wear, in years to come you will want your fresh face back </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/young-looks-getting-in-the-way#post-1190217 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 05:55:29 +0000 CocoLion 1190217@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't stop thinking, that I have the EXACT opposite problem… that my old face/looks are getting in the way of the true style I wish to express. &nbsp;;-)</p>