https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 20:38:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1384949 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 16:22:33 +0000 unfrumped 1384949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><i>NEXT!</i> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1380178 Tue, 21 Oct 2014 17:01:20 +0000 krishnidoux 1380178@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Adelfa, you're onto something here... will investigate! I am sure a non oaked, no sulfates red wine would not be as damageable as the next red table wine from the supermarket, I just never dare trying.</p> <p>Your words are very soothing to read to me. It's good to see I'm not alone, that this is something that can and does happen, even though I am sorry it happened to you. But to see that you came out of it with wisdom and philosophy makes me feel much better.&nbsp;</p> <p>I too, wondered many times if the unusual level of comfort and proximity I felt was because nothing had really changed or just a misleading perception... I think it's both: you know and love the person, just as you've loved them back then. But their differences, their struggles didn't disappear. It's disconcerting to see they have not "grown out" of them. I don't mean to be condescending, but sometimes, some pple from the past have not walked the same road and not learn the same valuable lessons.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1380172 Tue, 21 Oct 2014 16:51:25 +0000 Adelfa 1380172@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just saw this, Krishni, so sorry! I think it's completely understandable that you've been dating people from your past. Lately I've had the chance to get together with friends from 35 years ago (several different ones) and it's amazing the comfort level I feel with them. I've even asked myself if it's real comfort or just a misleading perception--not sure.</p> <p>Too bad about the great sex! I've had several friends with great sex in bad relationships and it seems like such a cheat!</p> <p>And on a really trivial note, I'm allergic to red wine too, and I regret that it makes me seem like a lightweight! I finally figured out why (with the help of an amazing winemaker in the Carmel Valley)--it's not the wine, it's the oak. So a Pinot Noir or Beaujolais Nouveau&nbsp;that's not oaked causes me fewer problems than a Chardonnay that's heavily oaked! Amazing!</p> <p>Anyway, I don't think it's ever easy to be broken up with. I know you will do great and we all care about you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1379674 Mon, 20 Oct 2014 19:55:58 +0000 rachylou 1379674@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol. That's like the dumbest thing ever. Too many clothes... that's like in the movie<i>, Amadeus</i>, where the king tells Mozart "too many notes."</p> <p>Haha. Well, maybe you were reaction shopping. On the other hand, a comment like that almost demands you get another skirt ;&gt; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1379150 Mon, 20 Oct 2014 00:38:40 +0000 krishnidoux 1379150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jackiec, you crack me up. Thank you for your kind words, you are so sweet.<br />Amy, thank you for saying this! Especially from a minimalist. It is good to hear/read it.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1379076 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 22:13:42 +0000 Isabel 1379076@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs Krishnidoux. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1379061 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 21:54:42 +0000 minimalist 1379061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this, but not sorry you're rid of him. If he'd stayed you'd have ended up owning stock in B&amp;H or its Canadian equivalent. </p> <p>And what a lame excuse, as MsMary said. In some ways, I'm that guy. Mostly free from stuff, largely unambitious, happy with a job I self-trained for and transitioned into in middle age. (But no debt, and have creative hobbies but don't identify as an artist.) Varying levels of discomfort with BF's more-is-more lifestyle. There are times when I resent the time and energy that go into maintaining some of his hobbies, far more than the time he gets to enjoy them. At times I've said "I love you, but I'd really like to break up with your stuff." I'd like to think that talking about conflicts openly means there's a chance of working through and with them. A chance this guy didn't give himself, and that at age 55.</p> <p>Oh, and not that you need it but here's an opinion from an opinionated minimalist: your shopping/style expedition and inspiration sounds healthy and refreshing. And your wardrobe size sounds entirely reasonable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1379025 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 20:28:55 +0000 jackiec 1379025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok. When I read your first post, I thought "good riddance." Didn't want to say it though. Then came back around to see your retail therapy spurt. And now I really can shout it GOOD RIDDANCE!!!</p> <p>Nothing like a little retail therapy to soothe the soul.</p> <p>I'm sorry for the stress of the situation. It certainly makes us take a step back and have a look at who we are. I think you are a great person.</p> <p>...and I can't wait to see your haul </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378963 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 18:46:22 +0000 krishnidoux 1378963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay! Aren't they great? They look like an a-line skirt except one can move their legs with no fear of having some dressing malfunction happening, lol.<br />I looked in the store, and asked the SA for a top that would match, but there was no real piece made specifically to go with it. I got the gray (chiné)&nbsp;&nbsp;thin turtleneck top but yet have to build outfits. Can't wait to see what you will come up with!&nbsp;<br />(BTW as an aside - CM's website is most frustrating for Canada residents. When I click on it I am redirected to a "sorry-we-don't-cater-to-your-region" page, preventing me from even viewing the collections. For example I wanted to provide a visual, but can't for this reason).</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378904 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 16:42:31 +0000 MsMary 1378904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Krish, I bought those culottes, too!&nbsp; We will be burgundy culottes twins!&nbsp; Can't wait to get some styling ideas from you!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378830 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 14:14:40 +0000 krishnidoux 1378830@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isabel, your words are helping me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378738 Sun, 19 Oct 2014 03:26:46 +0000 Isabel 1378738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Seriously ( re the guy ) ? I laughed out loud when I read the reason. Then I felt bad for laughing because of how dumbfounded and hurt you are. THEN I thought this is soooooooo petty that it says something about his character and not you. Of course no one has ever broken up with you over the amount of clothes you have ! It is uniquely petty and such a freaking outlier. I know that doesn't make you feel better - but as an outsider looking in , this is so utterly silly and perplexing that it s screams UNPREDICTABLE to me !!!!! I wouldn't want a partner like that. Wow. I can just see him coming home one day, " I want a divorce. I don't like the way you handle uncooked chicken . "</p> <p>I am so sorry. : ( </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378631 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 22:46:37 +0000 bj1111 1378631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>how wonderful that you feel to urge to be stylish again...another sign of you conquering this cumulative malaise. &nbsp;in the immortal words of the cure "show me, show me, show me how you do that [denim skirt]." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378626 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 22:31:32 +0000 Suz 1378626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Retail therapy for the win!!&nbsp;</p> <p>Can't wait to see your beautiful new things. I am sure they look fantastic on you.&nbsp;</p> <p>And I hope you have a lovely visit with your friends!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked/page/2#post-1378455 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 17:23:52 +0000 krishnidoux 1378455@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>UPDATE: after an almost sleepless night (waking up <i>every hour</i> with pangs of heartache - not just because of the breakup but also b/c of a difficult situation I am going through in my job), I put on my knee high riding boots and went shopping&nbsp;this morning. </p> <p>I know, I know.</p> <p>I thought, I have time, and I do need a denim skirt.&nbsp;After carefully perusing all cheaper options + all sales sections in my favorite stores and less favorite too, I finally ended up at Club Monaco where I fell in love with just about the whole store, and took a bunch of things to try with me, including a pencil denim skirt with black leather trims on the pocket - which was on sale to boot.&nbsp;</p> <p>And walked out of the store much poorer, but&nbsp;with a whole loot of new quality garments that will be most useful: the pencil denim skirt in question,&nbsp;a very cute black wool+leather moto (on sale!), a pair of a-line burgundy culottes, a few cool tops. I think each piece is filling a gaping closet hole. Will take pics.&nbsp;</p> <p>One may say from reading this that I do have a problem, but, call me in denial, I don't think I do. This was clearly shopping therapy and I felt hungry for stylish me again, a feeling I haven't had in months. I realized trying things out that I must have lost some weight, which must have played a role in my recent fashion funk. (either that or CM clothes are so well cut that one isn't aware of all their littlest bulges in them).</p> <p>This afternoon, I have been invited by friends to visit their house on the water in a neighboring village, I'll go and it will be good for my mood. I'll make sure to take pics of my new stuff to show you.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378367 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 13:03:53 +0000 Janet 1378367@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Krish, your comment about feeling cheated is exactly right! You just articulated perfectly the same feeling I had. Like, really, this is some issue for you and you've never brought it up before when we could actually talk through it and you could hear how I actually feel? No, none of us needs a partner like that! You are better off, my dear, and deserve someone much more open and willing to love you for who you are. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378325 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 09:59:20 +0000 krishnidoux 1378325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your insights are very clever.&nbsp;</p> <p>Suz, yes, it does sting in that way... what really hurts is that he probably had this thought some time while we were dating, but didn't express anything when we could have talked it out.&nbsp;I feel almost cheated. When I had thoughts about him and money or lifestyle, I did not hesitate to bring it up - each time he would end the conversation fast, I now realize.&nbsp;</p> <p>Sveta, it didn't occur to me that his reaction could stem from insecurity on his part, but now that you mention it, it makes sense.&nbsp;</p> <p>Tulle, yes, it is good to be reminded that maybe his love was superficial, if he even brings the clothes up into the conversation at such a definitive moment. It's hard for me to swallow, but in the end, that is what it is.&nbsp;</p> <p>Angie, thank you for suggesting yoga! I already do regularly, but will certainly not skip in the next days.&nbsp;</p> <p>Janet, I am so sorry for what happened to&nbsp;you. And you are right, we are so much more than a clothing issue. How reductive.&nbsp;The two questions are disproportionate, which indicates there is a problem with the guy in both cases (yours and mine). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378264 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 05:15:19 +0000 tulle 1378264@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Ms. Mary, too:&nbsp; no man who is deeply in love breaks up with a woman over clothes!&nbsp; A man whose heart is not really committed, however, will look for excuses to break up, and may come up with one as silly as that.&nbsp; You deserve much better than this fellow. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378251 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 04:38:06 +0000 Sveta 1378251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Krish - hugs! It is hurtful but I thisnk this is the case when "better soner than forever" - and a good riddance. The guy is insecure at 55 &nbsp;- enough said!<br />Don't you even dare to think there is something wrong with you - NO! Everything is wrong with him!!!<br />I second Angie's suggestion of yoga to empty your mind of all that...more hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378200 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 01:54:50 +0000 Suz 1378200@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to pop back in to add another thought that came up, I think, as I read Janet's response.&nbsp;</p> <p>Another reason this stings is that for anyone who has self-identified as an artist, it feels even <b>MORE</b> hurtful to be accused of being too materialistic. It is a much bigger insult than it would be, say, for someone who identifies primarily as a businessperson. It is a very unkind thing to say in any circumstances, and the more so now.&nbsp;</p> <p>HUGS!!!!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378188 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 01:41:52 +0000 krishnidoux 1378188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sharon, such a good point! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378163 Sat, 18 Oct 2014 00:49:30 +0000 Sharon 1378163@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always find it amusing that these bohemian, free-spirited types can be so judgemental! Like you can be wild and free, as long as you do it in a way they approve of. I think the fact that he fails to perceive clothing and fashion as a form of artistic expression is a clear indication of the limitations of his creative vision. He has no rights to the moral high ground here, as much as it sounds like he wants to claim them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378132 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 23:43:17 +0000 deb 1378132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My thought is that the issue of clothing is just a symbol of&nbsp;his fear. In essence, <i>his</i> feelings for you were too much for him. I wonder if this is always the way he runs away from relationships. &nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378126 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 23:36:15 +0000 bj1111 1378126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>sounds like you're sorted. &nbsp;too bad great sex came in such a crazy package. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378089 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 23:11:02 +0000 krishnidoux 1378089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'll say it again: God bless this forum. Thanks for all your kind, very therapeutic words tonight. It's good to realize it's not me, and that I am not defective for any reason, especially not for what I wear and how I dress, or even how I store my clothes.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378080 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 23:04:29 +0000 Caro in Oz 1378080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm speechless. &nbsp;I understand that you are&nbsp;hurt by his comments&nbsp;but standing on the outside it just sounds like&nbsp;a stupid comment from a frightened man :)&nbsp;Take care of yourself.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378063 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 22:53:11 +0000 Beth Ann 1378063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry, Krish.&nbsp; I agree with your assessment that your closet is hardly excessive for a modern woman.&nbsp; That's a non-issue.</p> <p>It sounds to me like you are still finding your new lifestyle in your new place.&nbsp; Focusing on becoming your best self has got to be a good recipe for healthy relationships.</p> <p>When I hear things like this, it makes me think that human beings should devote a bit more care and attention to breaking up, or quitting a job, or telling anyone something that they know will be hard to hear.&nbsp; How about, "I'm really grateful for what we've shared and I want to say thank you for sharing the past 5 months with me.&nbsp; Let's part with good memories best wishes for the future."&nbsp; Then, when the other party asks for reasons why, perhaps we can talk about ourselves -- our plans, our own weaknesses, and not criticize.&nbsp; What's the point in criticizing at goodbye?&nbsp; So sorry he failed the character test at the end, but then I'm glad you found out before spending more of your life on him! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378021 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 22:02:24 +0000 Janet 1378021@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am nodding along with Laura, Suz, and Mary. Onward to someone better for you. </p> <p>I totally understand how something like that stings. I'm reminded of a man I dated for about a year before we broke up, when he called me "materialistic" and said he didn't think I had enough of a spiritual life (what he meant, I suspect, was that I was not a member of the church he grew up with, even though he was not much of an active church-goer!). I called him on that, saying that if something like religion was so important to him, he should have brought it up&nbsp;WAY sooner in the relationship. The fact that he mentioned that as some sort of deal breaker -- after a year together! --&nbsp;said to me that there was something else going on. I liked clothes and still do, but there's a heck of a lot more to me than that, and if he couldn't see that after nearly a year together, we were NOT meant to be.&nbsp;</p> <p>There is someone MUCH better for you out there! Hugs.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378019 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 21:58:36 +0000 Kim 1378019@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What MsMary said!&nbsp; </p> <p>It's actually a pretty funny, (and lame) statement...</p> <p>Dude!&nbsp; At least come up with a better "break up line" at 55!!</p> <p>How about "It's not you, it's me..." </p> <p>Oh wait, that's MY line!! LOL</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/you-have-too-much-clothes-he-invoked#post-1378012 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 21:49:36 +0000 Angie 1378012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh good heavens. His loss. It's hurtful and leaves a bad taste in your mouth&nbsp;nonetheless, Krish. Hang in there. Please don't doubt the good place your head and heart have been in&nbsp;over the last six months. Off to yoga you go, and hang in there. Much love. xo </p>