https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 10 Jun 2026 02:00:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33342 Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:42:42 +0000 jwomack 33342@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I turned 40 last year and love this stage of life. You are more confident in yourself. I was never very fashion conscious in my 20's and 30's (what was I thinking?). I was too busy having babies in my 30's to care and my wardrobe definitely reflected this attitude. I work out now and am probably in the best shape of my life (barring college when you just automatically had a killer bod because you were only 20 with no stretch marks, cellulite or wrinkles). I am a SAHM now and also have the dilemma mentioned by laura65 of looking age appropriate but not overdressed compared to your peers. I now live by the quality over quantity for pieces I wear all the time -- as a SAHM this usually means jeans. I buy better quality here. You just look better in higher quality jeans. Tops, sweaters, etc. I like variety so I will spend less (love you Target) but find good deals. I find that just using jewelry or belts makes these basics look polished. I might look a little dressier than some other SAHMs at playgroup, but I don't feel overly dressed. In fact, I now get lots of compliments and even have friends asking to shop with me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33311 Mon, 03 Nov 2008 03:43:18 +0000 Laura 33311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, you can have your neck "tucked" (sorry, no doubt that is far from the proper terminology). For myself, I'm not sure if that will ever be something I'm comfortable doing. We'll see how desperate I get about the situation, maybe 10 years from now!</p> <p>Lines around the mouth seem like an easier problem to correct. Maybe microdermabrasion can help? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33306 Mon, 03 Nov 2008 02:51:24 +0000 susan 33306@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Me either! It would be interesting to talk to someone who has had it done to find out the particulars. I wonder how long it does last and how much it costs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33299 Mon, 03 Nov 2008 01:39:57 +0000 julijuli 33299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do have a friend that swears by Restalyne to fill in the lines around the mouth. I guess it lasts for a long time? I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33296 Mon, 03 Nov 2008 01:07:00 +0000 susan 33296@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Laura,<br /> Is there anything that can be done about it? My local friends aren't having "work" done, but another friend who lives in Indy says that all her friends are. I did ask my dermatologist about the lines around my mouth and she said not to fall for the creams claiming to fix it. Darn. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33211 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:31:08 +0000 Laura 33211@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>P.S. to Shiny: To quote a book title, I also feel bad about my neck!</p> <p>I fear that turkey neck is going to be part of my future ... like you, my face doesn't bother me half as much as my neck and chest.</p> <p>About 10 years ago, I asked my mom what she and her friends wished they'd taken care of (physically) when they were young. She said, "We wish we'd taken better care of our necks!"</p> <p>Unfortunately, in my early 30s, the damage was already done, but maybe for YLFers in their 20s, they can still take heed </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33207 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:26:52 +0000 Laura 33207@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shiny, I completely understand your dilemma, in a different way, and I too am searching for the solution to standing out and looking my age. In my case, it's the fact that at 43, I find myself a mom to young kids (6 and 2 1/2). After years of being a working woman with a career focus, I am suddenly a SAHM a lot of the time. It's been challenging for me to find a look that doesn't make me appear overdressed for my life (as Shiny also mentions, just in another setting), but still looking appropriate for my age. </p> <p>The other interesting change for me is that as I've gotten older, I've moved away from being a marketing, PR, corporate writer, to a writer of nonfiction and fiction. In other words, suddenly I've discovered that I'm a creative type! It's been fun to try to find ways to express this changing identity through my clothing and style - and YLF has been a big part in helping me express myself better already. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33199 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 13:57:28 +0000 shiny 33199@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marcia - you're right. Even when I was 20, spaghetti straps weren't my best look. I am definetly envious of any woman - no matter what age - who can pull off this look. Oh well, at least i've got nice legs, so I can flaunt those! I inherited my grandma's legs and she flaunted hers well into her 90s. ;-)</p> <p>As for the outfit you posted, I work in high-tech and in most occasions such a suit would be overdressed. Our office is casual. Our HQ is not quite as casual - most women do wear jackets, sometimes wear skirts, and don't always wear jeans - but even there, a suit like this would seem inappropriate and out of place. Such is the life of high-tech!!</p> <p>That has been my quandary for years: this type suit looks smashing and automatically polished, but in my particular field, wearing such a suit would bring on the "who died" "are you interviewing over your lunch break" "c'mon why don't you loosen up" comments. No matter what your age. So the dilemma has been how do you stand out and look your age -polished and professional - when jeans are the expected part of the daily work uniform, and even on the most formal of business occasions, business casual still reigns supreme? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33192 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:21:50 +0000 Marcia22 33192@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it has less to do with your age than with how the clothing looks on your body regardless of you. In the case of the two tops, I think the poofy elastic sleeves would be unflattering to many women, regardless of age, because of the way they seem to cut into your arms. But I guess that would depend on your arms.</p> <p>Whether or not you can wear spaghetti straps depends on your body shape and the condition of your arms and upper body, not on your age.</p> <p>Regarding looking polished and sophisticated, that has to do with being professional, not with age. I work with 20-somethings (I'm 43) who look polished and sophisticated. I don't dress differently than they do, other than that I dress to suit my body shape and colouring. </p> <p>I don't have any photos of me in work clothing, but here is an example of something I might wear, that I think would be appropriate for any adult woman, regardless of age, as long as she had the figure for it.</p> <p>I am in the UK, though, and styles are different in the US and the UK.</p> <p>I would change the colour of the shirt, though, and the collar because they don't suite me personally. But my suits tend to look similar to that.</p> <p><a href="http://www.next.co.uk/shopping/women/workwear/4/3" rel="nofollow">http://www.next.co.uk/shopping/women/workwear/4/3</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33156 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:44:11 +0000 Anonymous 33156@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry to have this post twice. I don't know how to delete one.</p> <p>What a great thread! It was shocking to turn 60. Where do the years go!? I feel the need to choose clothing carefully looking for fit and flattering color.<br /> Now structure is a must, especially in the neck and shoulders.<br /> Recently I realized that the colors that look best on me have changed a great deal, probably due to hair color change, but my skin tones must have changed some too. Deep red with blue tones used to be my best color. Last week I realized that now it's doing nothing good for me. Instead I need more of an orange-red or coral.<br /> High heels? No more. Boho styles I used to love? Silly looking. But I'm having fun trying new looks and paying attention to details and accessories. Now if I could just find pants that didn't bag, but that's just forcing me to wear more skirts or jeans. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33155 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:41:51 +0000 Anonymous 33155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33150 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:14:49 +0000 susan 33150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You nailed it, Shiny! I love being my age-just not some of the wrinkles around my mouth (not fair since I've only smoked maybe 3 cigs in my life)-and the varicose vein on my left leg, which I am going to have taken care of. I love my husband, my kids are turning out well, and we have 3 gdaughters to boot. What is not to love? (Of course, our life isn't perfect! No ones is.) I just want my clothes to reflect my outlook on life. I want younger people to know it isn't bad to grow older. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33148 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:10:17 +0000 Amanda 33148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I turned 40 and started graduate school -- which prompted my recent attempts to revamp my wardrobe. As a student I can dress as casually as I want, but as a woman in her early 40s, I found that I wanted to still look polished. On top of all that, I started to feel like certain clothes just didn't look the same on me as they did even in my 30s. I think that it has to do what with what Shiny said about being comfortable with and knowing yourself. I do look younger than I am -- people are always surprised when I say I am 43 and, mostly through YLF, I am learning about what works well for me and how to dress stylishly and have my own style. I still sometimes dress very casually (those are the days I don't photograph for YLF!) but overall I think that I am learning how to dress up and down and yet still have that polish. But I do sometimes feel frustrated that clothes either seem "too young" for me or "too old" for me. At that same time, I'm just becoming more comfortable with the fact that a lot of clothes just won't work for me -- the cut or color or style or size won't quite fit -- and to be happy to go home empty-handed and know that tomorrow I might find the perfect item that will make me feel really good. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33146 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 23:57:05 +0000 shiny 33146@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just got back from a completely unsuccessful mall shopping trip. (I had some coupons that expired today). I can tell you that there are certainly many, many styles of clothes I can no longer wear, because of the "gravity" issue. </p> <p>Top on that list is anything that is too strappy, like halter tops or camisoles that are meant to be shown or anything with spaghetti straps. There were many such tops at AT today - gearing up for the special occasion season. </p> <p>I also stay away from anything that's too clingy, because the body isn't what it used to be and I've got odd lumps here and there. I need clothes that skim away from my trouble zones, and clothes with a lot more structure than I used to be able to get away with. I actually think I look better - slimmer, trimmer and younger - in fall/winter clothes, because I can layer to add structure, and the clothes tend to have more structure than summer clothes. </p> <p>Gravity aside, age has done a number on my chest and neck. My face is still fairly wrinkle free, but my neck and chest really show my age. This is because while I would religiously wear sunscreen on my face since my 20s, I woudn't religiously wear it on my neck and chest - because I'd worry it would get on my clothes. And because I have a short neck and I'm hourglassy, I look much better in v-necks or scoop necks so I've spent my life not covering up that skin. And it is showing more and more - no matter how much expensive anti-aging cream I slather on each night and morning. </p> <p>That presents quite a quandary.... in past year or so, I've been drawn more and more towards tops that provide more coverage, even if this isn't supposedly the best style for my body type. I also want statement necklaces - I used to think this would draw attention to the skin on my neck and chest, but I'm learning it does the opposite. you see the necklace, not the aging skin. I do like ruffly necklines for same reason - frames the face, and draws attention away from aging skin. </p> <p>As for style of clothing, I do understand what you mean by "ingenue." Though not necessarily with that top from WHBM you posted... I'd have to see it in person. I know it would not work for me, because it would accentuate tummy bulges. But, if that's not your issue, I could imagine layering a jacket or cardi over it, and that might give a different look altogether. I think the pleats are quite lovely and sophisticated. </p> <p>But basically I spent my first 40 years trying to look my age - dressing more mature and conservative and never ever wearing jeans - because I'm so short and have a baby face. Now that I'm over 40, and have teenagers, I definetly don't want to look like my teens! But there was also that weird knee-jerk, "oh I want to look younger than 40 - time is rushing by way too fast" feeling going on three years ago when I arrived at the big 4-0. I'm getting over that concern and actually quite looking forward to my 50s now. The secret they don't tell you is that once you hit 40, it just gets better and better - people are happier and more satisfied with life, the older they get. </p> <p>As for clothes, I guess for me I am thinking more and more it is about quality and fit - that's what gives the polish and makes me feel polished. I still throw in an H&#38;M or other inexpensive piece here and there, but I'm more and more appreciating that higher quality fabrics, clothing, shoes, purses (yes, more expensive brands - though I still have my limit!) gives me that look of "she's in her 40s, sophisticated, polished, successful. She's arrived." </p> <p>This is pretty evident lately when I make my rare appearances in the office. I'm the second oldest person on my team here (the oldest is turning 50 soon - and boy does she look fabulous!!). But most of my female coworkers are in their mid-to-late 30s, and in the stage with young children at home. I do not want to dress like them. I want to dress like someone who is in her 40s. I want people to look at me and think, "wow she's got her sh*t together.... and she must be very successful...." I also want to give the impression: "she's comfortable in her own skin, has arrived at a place where she knows what looks good on her and expresses her unique personality.... and she makes 40s look like an age that is not to be dreaded!" </p> <p>As for that last bit... well, I have a baby face, and I'm very short. I have learned to gracefully accept this fact, and not fight it so much. So yes I will wear playful clothes and incorporate youthful touches here and there. It's not about trying too hard to look younger than I am... it's about accepting the fact no matter what I do, I'm going to look young anyway!<br /> Does any of that make sense? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33145 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 22:31:28 +0000 tarzy 33145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Susan - I know what you mean. It's very hard to find that place between trendy and dowdy. I usually like Ann Taylor, although lately they haven't had anything I really like, and they do tend to be a bit more "work" attire oriented. Talbots feels a bit suburban to me, but in truth I haven't been in there in a while. Eddie Bauer fits my body, but their stuff is just not very interesting. I like the GAP off and on, but most of their stuff is a bit young (and seems to be cut for younger bodies.) I actually like Macy's because they have so much variety. I can poke around in all the different departments. But that store can get a little overwhelming. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33143 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 22:20:14 +0000 tarzy 33143@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Julijuli - I certainly am not opposed to all ruffles. I think that's a great shirt you tried on! To me, that shirt is very classy. </p> <p>I think maybe part of it has to do with the amount of details? The shirt I tried on had a lot of details. The fabric had a stripe woven into it, it had the seaming, it had the ruffles along the neck, and it had the ruffles on the sleeves. That's a lot going on! It was very "ingenue" looking. Your shirt has the one ruffle detail, which I think is much more classic. Does that make sense? Or am I off the mark here?</p> <p>I think it's complicated. I don't know if it has to do with age, or body type, or even emotional issues. I do think it's very personal, but I was just curious to hear from other women about this issue. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33141 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 21:59:07 +0000 susan 33141@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread! I feel like for the first time in years, I have the time to really think about what I want to wear. When our boys were still at home, we were so busy that my shopping consisted of grabbing whatever was reasonably priced, writing checks, and hoping it looked okay. Now I have more time and am enjoying fashion again. Now I am just not sure where to shop! I don't want to dress too young, but I don't like to shop and look around and see that those around me are older than my mom! That happened last weekend at Macy's. I want to dress the way I feel-great! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33138 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 20:59:09 +0000 julijuli 33138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tarzy,</p> <p>I think polish is very important as we get a little older and I am trying to move towards a more sophisticated look. But - perhaps ruffles can fit into the 'sophisticated/polished' category. I'm 47 and I recently tried on this blouse and loved it:</p> <p><a href="http://www.anntaylorloft.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=15655&#038;N=1200005&#038;pCategoryId=199&#038;categoryId=204&#038;Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_204&#038;showAll=Y&#038;defaultColorNameFromCategory=Ochre&#038;defaultSizeTypeFromCategory=Misses" rel="nofollow">http://www.anntaylorloft.com/c.....ory=Misses</a></p> <p>I also love a long sleeve ruffle blouse at JCrew. I think either of them would be great with some tweedy black/white pants and would qualify as polished. Maybe it's the fact that they are long sleeved? Or, maybe it's just my style? Obviously, it is my opinion, but I didn't think they were particularly girlish. What do you think? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33131 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:51:48 +0000 Nicole 33131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tarzy, I own a very similar blouse as your Tahari one. </p> <p>I will be 40 next month. I understand what you mean and I think I am somewhere between where you were and where you are now. Maybe because pre-YLF, my look was undefined. I was probably more sporty than anything and I based outfits around comfort. I still tend to dress somewhat sporty for certain activities--but I think that has a lot to do with my current lifestyle. I have two very sport-minded kids and my husband is very active. So as a family we tend to do very active activities--hiking, biking, baseball games etc. But I do try to take it up a notch even if we are just going for a bike ride and when I'm doing a non-sport activity, I try to remove anything sporty from my outfit. I don't know what I would call my style right now. But whatever it is, I thin it's a good thing to try to keep it polished.</p> <p>BTW, you totally do not look 51. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ylf-40-038-over-seeking-polish#post-33130 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:26:59 +0000 tarzy 33130@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have noticed quite a few of us 40 and older ladies here, and was wondering if anyone wanted to discuss their feelings about age and fashion. </p> <p>I'm 51, and although I definitely consider myself hip and young-thinking, I notice more and more that there are certain things I just can't wear now. I think it was Kellee who used the word "polished," and I really like that description. I find when I wear anything with too many frills or colors, or anything that's "cute" I feel silly. I certainly don't look dowdy or old, but I have to admit that something has changed. My face is not "old" - I don't have any wrinkles (thank you oily skin!) but I do look mature. I guess it's gravity. </p> <p>I recently fell in love with this white blouse:<br /> <a href="http://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?skuId=sku2660989&#038;productId=300111441&#038;edit=true&#038;itemQuan=1&#038;seqNum=ci499000737" rel="nofollow">http://www.whitehouseblackmark.....i499000737</a></p> <p>In my younger days this would have been completely ME. But when I tried it on, something wasn't quite right. It's beautiful, and it fit well and looked fine, but I think there were just a little bit too many ruffles or something. It felt a tiny bit like a costume and I felt a little bit silly. It felt girlish. I used to look great in anything that looked sightly Victorian or romantic, but this blouse felt wrong. I ended up buying a simple fitted white blouse (cotton/lycra) similar to this one:<br /> <a href="http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=324744&#038;CategoryID=35908" rel="nofollow">http://www1.macys.com/catalog/.....ryID=35908</a>. </p> <p>This is not coming from any society-imposed sense of what is or is not appropriate for me. This is my own feeling about what feels right for me and how I want to dress.</p> <p>I'm not saying this is true for everyone my age. I'm sure someone else could totally rock that ruffled white blouse. But it was an interesting discovery for me, and I think it signals a change in how I will be dressing and what I will be looking for.</p> <p>But I'm not giving up my Black Converse any time soon! </p>