https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 09 May 2026 09:12:11 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90356 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:04:57 +0000 Kristina 90356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Whoops, I guess I forgot to answer the question. My husband is obsessed with evolution, so I get lost in that train of thought very easily. Sorry if I came off one-minded. </p> <p>I'd say the whole "naked is sexy" point is the best. It doesn't matter what I wear; if I ask what he thinks, he always says to just go naked. Otherwise he and I have very different styles, but I try to take his tastes into account. When I wear something both he and I find attractive, I feel better about myself. However, I do have that occasional chunky necklace or high heels he finds hideous and all my girlfriends agree are so "interesting." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90332 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:23:58 +0000 anne 90332@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My experience agrees with what Patience said ie naked is sexy doesn't matter what you wear! Also Shiny's point that it isn't hard for men to find you sexy whatever you wear.</p> <p>I think our biology influences our own feelings more than we realise, to Shiny's last point. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that this is something I have only realised now I am not on the pill or pregnant!</p> <p>My DH is accepting of what I wear and doesn't try to change it thinking of it as part of my personal expression. I know he does prefer more a figure hugging silhouette (like what Mac said) than say empire line smocks, but I think he would prefer it in a modest style. Like many men, he prefers my hair long and I suspect likes me to look as I did when he met me (eg no fringe, no glasses) but makes it quite clear I can do what I want and I am sure (see above) he will still find it attractive! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90316 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:17:46 +0000 Ele 90316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such an interesting discussion! I'm loving this. </p> <p>Quite frankly, I'm interested to know who these men are who prefer women in tight, low-cut, very "sexy" clothes. Maybe the guys I hang out with are just more evolved or something, but I don't know any men who match that description. </p> <p>I'm the first to admit that my boyfriend gets a lot more input into my wardrobe that the partners of most on YLF, and vice versa. We both love fashion and love shopping together, so we're always asking each others opinions. We like each others styles, and trust each others judgement. The phrase "What should I wear today?" is often heard in my flat of a morning! I know this is probably an anomaly, though, as are my boyfriend's tastes. He follows high-fashion closely, and likes a lot of looks that might be considered "avant garde" by some guys.</p> <p>Obviously, we have our own styles and would never force our opinions on each other, but we do take them into account. He thinks some of my accessories are "crazy" (hee), and I find some of his shirts a bit plain/boring. Mostly, though, we're very in sync style-wise. (In fact, this is SO embarrassing, but often we'll dress up to go somewhere and realize that we're wearing essentially matching outfits- just his n' hers versions. Obviously, one of us will change at that point!)</p> <p>I also wanted to note that the whole "dressing sexy" thing works both ways. My boyfriend is tall and slim, and wears skinny jeans like nobody's business. I LOVE this and would probably put him in even tighter ones, but he's more modest. He'll do a slim-cut straight leg or "roomy" skinny, but no more. I totally understand that he needs to feel comfortable in what he wears, so I'd never push him to wear something just for my benefit. (Having said that, he bought two new pairs of skinnies yesterday- score!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90277 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:09:09 +0000 marianna 90277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree that it's important to realize that not all men are the same! Just like all women are so so so different, men's tastes and likes and dislikes vary! Men appreciate women's bodies, true, but I know my boyfriend personally prefers a girl who dresses more covered up than exposed! We recently went to visit one of his friends, and the guy's girlfriend was at home wearing TINY tiny tiny cotton shorts. They were basically boy short underwear. After we left, my boyfriend said to me: "What was she wearing?!?!" He found it more appalling than attractive.</p> <p>I don't dress to get "laid" -- never have, never will. I suppose there is a time and a place for that, but to each her own. I'm thinking about the club scene (that I've never been to) where women wear hardly anything and walk around in 4 inch stilettos. I'd have to argue that these women are not wearing those skimpy dresses for themselves, but to attract men.</p> <p>My boyfriend isn't really into fashion but he knows what he likes and dislikes. He tells me when an item of clothing doesn't look good, and he's usually right about it. In general he prefers more classic pieces. I also think he prefers me without makeup, but I wear makeup all the time so that's too bad for him. I also know he likes long hair, and I wear my hair short -- again, too bad for him! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90269 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 01:51:28 +0000 JewelryGirl 90269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is interesting. Quite honestly I got bored reading it about 1/2 way through. I think that I dress for myself, I like to look slim &#38; attractive. I like a smart casual look. Interestingly enough when everyone was posting 3 words to describe their current style I was really pondering it. I asked DH what he thought on the way home one day, he very quickly summed it up to Classy, Casual and Relaxed. The last 2 are probably too similar but I think he did pretty much hit it head on. I do have to say I know a few things he likes and I also like to dress to please him. Nothing out of the ordinary just heels with a nice fitting pair of jeans &#38; simple things like that. I guess it just works out that we both prefer it. I don't know that I could strictly dress or not dress for someone else though. Funny thing is I don't care for the first couple of pics either, but it's also simply not my style. I do so enjoy all the different perspectives though! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90245 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:03:59 +0000 Mac 90245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gosh - how great to find so many of passionate, thoughtful opinions! Thanks for all taking to time to weigh in. Less great: I'm in a Dublin hotel where the wifi keeps disconnecting so just wrote a long response that ended up getting deleted. In a nutshell, I think:<br /> - this is a Daily Mail article so clearly not a scholarly piece. I just thought it raised an interesting issue that I've noticed very clearly in my own life. We are all individuals and so, of course, I do not make sweeping statements like "women like A but men like B." However, my own, personal, individual experiences have absolutely shown a lot of differences in preference between what my women friends like on me vs. what men in my life (whether romantic partners or friends) think is appealing<br /> - in general, my women friends and my gay male friends show more appreciation for "interesting" items. They have been more likely to notice and positively comment on things like: risky/ bright coloured makeup, unusual fabrics or construction, fine workmanship details, brands ("Oooh... are those shoes Prada?)<br /> - in general, men in my life prefer "natural" makeup (which I find amusing, since looking "naturally" good takes plenty of time, effort and product). I've never encountered guys liking that stereotypical short skirt/ lots of cleavage/ big hair look on me. Instead, most have liked relatively modest clothing that hints at curves beneath, like a fitted (but not tight) cashmere sweater, jeans that fit properly and short leather boots. I've been amazed by how many men I've know like me - and women in general! - in glasses.<br /> - my current romantic partner doesn't really like the way I dress now, but neither do I. Over the past few years, I've let style fall by the wayside and just opted for comfort and ease. I'm slowly trying to work my way back to liking the way I look : if my girlfriends or boyfriend like it, too, then that will be an added bonus and a much-appreciated confidence booster. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90203 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:19:21 +0000 RoseandJoan 90203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay Mac so whats your opinion? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90202 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:12:28 +0000 Angie 90202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have nothing to add other than that I think this thread is very entertaining. </p> <p>Perhaps I do have something to add:</p> <p>• as unique as we all like to think we are, our needs (and men’s needs) are a lot more similar than we think.</p> <p>• there is a difference between High Fashion and un-wearable catwalk fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90196 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 19:34:40 +0000 Maya 90196@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This biology assessment is a huge stretch, and not one that I think this article is deep enough to explore quite honestly. As Dawn said, it's just shallow Daily Mail trash. </p> <p>I think the problem with this assessment is that it assumes getting dressed and being sexy are two things that are inexorably linked, when they are not. Do not underestimate the power of self-awareness and free will, which is a uniquely human characteristic, and one that is just as, if not more powerful than biology. I do not have any desire to be sexy. Period. And yet, I still care how I present myself. According to this article, that just can't happen. It's a contradiction.</p> <p>I wrote above that I am very much aware that men probably don't find my obsession with volume the least bit alluring, but I continue to dress in this way. Baffling. I don't even think most women appreciate volume, as Angie's blog posts have proven! Feminism hasn't "convinced" me that I'm doing this for myself--I am! I do care what other people think, but only to a point. I have a group of people whose knowledge and opinions I trust (hello YLF), and I do care about their opinions, but only because they have proven to me that their opinions are worth caring about. I can gauge how important a person's opinion is to me simply by looking at them. If they can't even dress themselves well, why should I care about their opinion? It may sound arrogant, but it's the truth. It's like coming to me for cooking advice (I can't cook, if that isn't clear).</p> <p>You will NEVER EVER please everyone who sees you, men or women. That is exactly why you must dress for yourself FIRST, and the right person will follow. As Shiny and Patience have touched on, men are not one homogeneous blob of testosterone. It's amazing what quirky things different men find attractive, things that you probably don't even think of. Not all women have a .7 WH ratio and yet they still manage to find love in life, so obviously, there must be a lot of other forces at play. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90169 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:33:04 +0000 cciele 90169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, ITA Kristina. I mean, we're all on this website to get advice on how to dress, right? I do dress for myself, but I do so in way that projects a certain persona that I want others to see, men and women. Whether that's sexy, sporty, chic, or whatever depends on my mood. We dress to fit into whatever societal niche we've chosen. Otherwise, if I were truly dressing for myself I'd be wearing yoga pants and tees to the store because that's what I feel most comfortable wearing.</p> <p>So to answer the OP's original question: Yes, my S.O. likes the way I dress, and not only if I dress "sexy" (e.g., low-cut, tight clothes). He comments on color, pattern, and drape </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90167 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:29:53 +0000 Patience 90167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am completely lost with this article. Some of your comments help clear things up a little, but it seems like the author is talking about two separate issues and intertwining them in such way that I'm not really sure what her point is by the end.<br /> She seems to be talking about sleek vs. voluminous trends with sleek being the sexy option. But she also seems to be talking about familiar vs. cutting edge, intimidating fashion as well and in particular that high fashion is never sexy to men. So is her point that men just prefer sleek, tried and true formulas for sex appeal?</p> <p>Suddenly, I'm finding the whole thing hilarious. Hearing the handful of comments thus far makes me think that what accounts for sexy to men is probably as varied as the number of men in the world. Time and time again, my husband has re-enforced that naked is sexy. It doesn't matter what I wear. Kind of makes me think that if you want to be alluring, just do what makes you feel that way, a la Angie's post.</p> <p>Answering the question. Yes, my husband likes the way I dress, and he much prefers me to make my own fashion decisions. Realistically, it would be hard to be in a relationship where the other person regularly disliked your taste in fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90148 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:33:22 +0000 Kristina 90148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the article is hinting at basic human instincts that we all share when it says women are either dressing to impress men or other women. </p> <p>Species survive because they develop adaptations (or random mutations) that allow certain individuals to thrive while others die. For almost all species, this comes down to:<br /> 1. Can you attract the opposite sex for the resources they offer, and,<br /> 2. Can you intimidate others of the same sex from imposing on your territory. </p> <p>It's basic evolution/biology. </p> <p>So yes, perhaps feminism and self-realization make us believe that we dress for ourselves, in what makes us happy, but in reality what makes us happy is guided by evolution; we must either impress men to make babies and get resources or impress women to keep them from taking our resources. Perhaps our fat jeans and stained Ts, which are neither sexy for men nor intimidating for women, are just our misguided attempts to say, "I am so comfortable I can look any way I want." </p> <p>But when we try to dress "nicely" we are doing so to control the perceptions of SOMEONE, and we might as well just admit we care what others think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90135 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:07:00 +0000 Louise 90135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am inclined to agree with maya and dawn i dress for me, and while my other half prefers me in skirts and dresses my recent preference for these items is down to my choice and quite frankly if he didn't like the way i dressed then that's his problem not mine! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90130 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 16:54:01 +0000 rute 90130@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband loves the way I dress, in fact he also comments and is pushing me to choose more quality items.<br /> I get bored of the clothes quickly and I used to by cheaper items that lasted only a season, he likes quality, good pieces, good fabrics. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90039 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 11:36:42 +0000 Dawn 90039@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RoseandJoan, I don't bike in the Scottish Borders but I would love to go there some day. The trails there look amazing and from the reports of my friends who have gone over to Scotland, they are unbelievable </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90037 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 11:24:19 +0000 shiny 90037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I opened this article, my first reaction was: "But those fashions ARE sexy." The photos at the top - such outrageous shoulders create the illusion of an exaggeratedly tiny waist. </p> <p>Yes, my DH likes the way I dress, but he thinks I'm sexiest when I just woke up with messy hair and my jammies on, or when I just got back all sweaty from a run, or even when I haven't taken a shower in days because I've been ill. It's not just the cliched outfits - minis, plunging cleavage, etc - that men find sexy. You simply do not have to work too hard for men to find you sexy. </p> <p>My DH does not think high heels are sexy at all, because they make my feet hurt by the end of the night. Except for complaining about my choice of shoes and questioning their comfort level, he rarely dislikes anything I wear. When he does, he says it once, and never again. I'm free to wear what I want, and vice versa. He's not my dress-up doll and I'm not his. </p> <p>I'm going to be a little cryptic now, but let's just say some men do not like their women to dress with even a hint of sexiness in public. I am not talking about men who have valid religious objections. I am talking about men who are simply insecure and possessive. Let's just say I'm very sensitive to this issue and if my DH ever started asking me to dress in "less sexy" clothing, I am out of here. Let's just say that this is one reason why I love my DH to pieces... although he might voice a very occasional opinion, he doesn't dictate, even subtly, about what I should wear/not wear. And he gets the same respect from me. </p> <p>As for dressing for other women, I absolutely do that. Not every day. But if I'm going out with my very fashionable girlfriend we both pull out the stops - for the fun of it. And if I was getting together with my YLF friends, I'd do the same and be excited about it! </p> <p>So yes, I primarily dress for myself but sometimes that means dressing to feel sexy because *I* want to feel sexy (or because I'm already feeling sexy), and other times that means dressing for my girlfriends. </p> <p>Interestingly, it's been shown that women dress a little more sexy right around when they are most fertile. They aren't even aware they are doing it. It's been shown they will naturally gravitate towards brighter colors, more waist-defining clothes, slightly lowered cleavage, etc. So even if you say you are dressing for yourself, there are time during the month you are probably unwittingly dressing for your ovaries. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90034 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 11:02:07 +0000 RoseandJoan 90034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like dawn I would also be interested to read your blog on this subject, I just know from your previous blogs that you would have a more considered approach.</p> <p>By the way Dawn, do you mountain bike in the Scottish Borders? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90019 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 09:02:50 +0000 Dawn 90019@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also forgot to add: Alan likes the way I dress and in fact, sometimes when we're going out, he picks accessories out for me. It's really funny how good of an eye he's developed for colour combination though. If I don't like what he's picked out, I won't wear it but he frequently gets it right. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90018 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:58:43 +0000 Dawn 90018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All I can say is that it's the Daily Mail, I didn't expect anything more from a tabloid newspaper that features a naked spread on page 3 everyday and promotes old-fashioned views about the position of women in society. </p> <p>I found this article quite insulting and reductionist. Sex appeal and sexuality should not be reduced down to whether you're wearing something form-fitting and revealing. To me, sex appeal is about feelings, personality and a connection (and a cute smile). As far as I'm concerned, even the most shallow man is never just attracted to a body and a clothing choice. </p> <p>Even then, the writer has managed to reduce reasons for buying fashionable items down to sexual attraction and status- two things that don't sit well with me as I tend to dress for myself. Of course it could be argued that the ego part of my personality is subconsciously buying into this, but I believe that my clothing choices reflect who I am... and if someone doesn't like that, it is his problem rather than mine.</p> <p>Also the ultimate problem with this article is that it's high catwalk fashion and it doesn't really focus on what women are buying on the high street. Also you have to consider designer fashion as art rather than reality... Only one element of the 'quirky' unsexy Prada dress will make its way into high street shops. </p> <p>I would never change my clothes for my boyfriend and I would never ask my boyfriend to change his clothes for me. At the end of the day, we're attracted to each other's intellect and personality, and it would seem insulting to the other person if we were to reject the end results of each other's taste. </p> <p>This post will be way too long even if I bring my feminist views into this as well...</p> <p>Angie, I would love to hear your opinion on the article. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90013 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 07:02:48 +0000 Angie 90013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've just taken away my Friday blog post :0(</p> <p>Oh well! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90011 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 06:09:58 +0000 RoseandJoan 90011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry but I find this whole debate a little one dimensional, surely in this day and age we should be judged as individuals and not as a by product of our gender alone. Do all women dress for other women? Do all men have the same aesthetic? This is a debate I have read on several occasions and it always brings a weary sigh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90007 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:46:34 +0000 Maya 90007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such an interesting topic and I actually don't think it has been discussed here in a lot of detail (if it has, I missed it). I have so much to say about this and I might go off on some tangents...</p> <p>In the first place, "sexy" is an attitude. Most women I know describe sexy as a feeling and not a look. </p> <p>One thing I have always known about myself is that most men are going to hate how I dress. I love things that hide the waist, I love androgyny, I like to minimize my bust, I adore volume, and I hate anything too form-fitting or revealing, even if it's considered tasteful and appropriate. You will never find me in a pair of "sexy" shoes with sky high heels and lots of straps. The article mentions something about looking sexy vs. looking awesome, and I would rather look awesome. For men, womens' clothes have an entirely different purpose. Men just see women differently (obviously I'm only talking about straight men). Their judgment is influenced by their erm, biological preferences.</p> <p>I know most men would rather see me in a butt-hugging pencil skirt and low-cut sweetheart neckline any day of the week, but it's too bad for them. I do not expect that the men in my life necessarily dress according to my taste or style preferences, and I don't think they should expect that of me. It's all about looking nice to me. Looking nice, as I have mentioned, is tragically underestimated. A person can look nice and put together without necessarily being invested in fashion or dressing according to a specific person's taste. One has to be able to distinguish between what looks nice and what just isn't their taste. For example, I think Citizen Kane is a masterpiece, but it's light years from being one of my favorite movies. So if my S.O. is unable to do that, then to put it bluntly, it's hard for me to take their opinion seriously. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care what they think, but if what they think ends up being nonsense to me, then I'm not going to go against my own instincts. I like to think that is due to my own confidence rather than stubbornness...but it could be both.</p> <p>So having said that, the major point of the article is interesting.</p> <p>I think this statement:</p> <p>"Very roughly, you could say that fashion falls into clothes to get you laid, and clothes that you wear for other women."</p> <p>...is rubbish, and very insulting rubbish at that. It reduces women to catty, horny thugs. I think this article seems to appeal more to crazed fashionistas wearing outlandish, avant garde catwalk creations. I certainly don't expect to impress many people with the stuff I get from H&#38;M.</p> <p>They may be shocked to know that some of us dress for ourselves. I dress the way I do because it suits who I am as a person, allowing my personality to come through on the outside. I dress so that when I catch my reflection in a store window, I am content with what I see. My barometer for whether or not I like how I look is if I would be drawn to myself and want to get to know me better! That way I'll naturally attract the right kind of guy. If you spend so much time and energy worrying about what others will think, you'll never feel happy or satisfied, because there will ALWAYS be someone who doesn't care for it. But that doesn't mean you should just give up and not even try. </p> <p>I'm not *so* self-centered that I would go out on a date wearing something I know my S.O. hates, or never ask for input on my outfit. I think my Shiny dress is a good example of something that I like and I think most dudes would like too. There is room for compromise. </p> <p>At the end of the day, there are so many other things that influence attractiveness to the opposite sex. In a way, volume is really a blessing, since it gets the focus off my boobs and up where I want it (my eyes). Haven't had a single boyfriend who did not explicitly appreciate my eyes!</p> <p>...don't even get me started on why I hate this article from a feminist perspective </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/womens-fashion-vs-straight-men#post-90002 Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:37:57 +0000 Mac 90002@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sure this topic has been discussed here before, but I found this article very interesting:</p> <p><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1210095/Shapeless-dress-sludge-coloured-jackets-Why-fashion-passion-killer.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....iller.html</a></p> <p>If you have a "significant other," does he/ she like the way you dress? </p>