https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 08 May 2026 02:05:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123943 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:55:25 +0000 marianna 123943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sihaya, that's SO interesting. I do the sale thing too. I never realized that I was deflecting the comment somehow. Thanks for bringing that up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123937 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:38:36 +0000 Sihaya 123937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread Khris. I totally mention people's weight loss when I notice one. I like it when people notice mine. Accepting compliments is hard for a lot of us. I have had to train myself for years to accept them. When someone used to accept me on an outfit that I'd gotten at a bargain price, I would say, thanks, I got that on a 70% off sale. To me, even that was a way of somewhat deflecting the compliment. Now, I just say 'thank you' or 'I'm curious, what specifically are you noticing' - if they say something generic. And then I allow myself to bask in the specifics and celebrate it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123934 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:25:34 +0000 marianna 123934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Funny story, Kim.</p> <p>I absolutely relate to what Mac is talking about, but I still love when people mention my weight loss. It feels good and it's nice to know that your hard work is paying off. </p> <p>The only time I am suspicious about weight loss comments is when I know I've been off the wagon and eating like a hog and someone tells me that I've lost weight. This has happened numerous times and I never know what to think of it. I always wonder if it's some sort of back handed technique to motivate me or nudge me to put down the cookies. Or maybe my outfit is simply super slimming. Ha. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123914 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 07:19:23 +0000 Angie 123914@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hah! That’s classic, Kim. What a GREAT story. </p> <p>Elpgal, that’s interesting. Thanks for sharing your perspective. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123875 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:49:16 +0000 Queen Mum 123875@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>interesting comments.<br /> I for one readily and enthusiastically compliment when I notice weight loss- and am thrilled to pieces when someone compliments me on looking more trim. I guess that shows my vanity?</p> <p>funny story-- my parents were having lunch with a friend who had been on a weight loss journey. They were also in the process of refinishing a chest of drawers for her....<br /> so my mom is sitting there thinking to herself how nice and trim "Sally" is looking, when my dad (thinking about the piece of furniture in his garage) says "your chest sure is looking nice Sally!" My mom about choked! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123874 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:44:28 +0000 Jean Gray 123874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Khris, love your shout out of encouragement! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123872 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:33:33 +0000 elpgal 123872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I might be in the minority here; I am always irritated when folk comment on my weight loss/gain especially when I am not try to gain or lose. I guess it is the scrutiny that bothers me. </p> <p>I absolutely refrain from commenting on other people's weight loss unless they have expressly shared with me they were trying to lose weight. Right now, I am trying to lose some weight and have shared that info with a few friends and would not mind if they commented on it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123864 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:08:30 +0000 Angie 123864@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How did this all get so complicated? I always comment on visual weight loss and so far it's always been well received! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123797 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 00:52:27 +0000 taylor 123797@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Compliments can be difficult to accept for anyone. We all have our insecurities. After watching me squirm uncomfortably after a compliment my mother said to me.<br /> "A compliment is like a gift and should be accepted graciously" I have never forgotten that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123792 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 00:43:09 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 123792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, Sarah and Chewy, really? Is that what you really think? I can assure you that if I've ever been reluctant to specifically point out someone's weight loss, it has NOT been for that reason...yikes! </p> <p>It's not news that people can be self-conscious about their weight...who am I to bring it up? I don't know if my compliments on weight loss will be misinterpreted by their inner critic to mean "yeah, she thinks I look good now, because obviously I looked terrible before!" or "Did she just say I look great because I looked like I lost a ton of weight? How fat did she think I was??"</p> <p>I guess I'm struck by Chewy's story about her neighbor commenting about how Chewy looked different to her...instead of bragging about weight loss, you said it was the new hair do. That certainly would have been my cue that you didn't want to talk about your success.</p> <p>Lastly, since joining YLF I have been struck by the variety of uber fab, stylish plus-sized women posting here - I can only dream of having a small fraction of their fashion savvy...I know that whatever your current size - you are an inspiration to me! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123683 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:13:55 +0000 Sarah 123683@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's so true, Khris. It's like people are embaressed for us for having lost weight (or in the process of losing).<br /> I don't choose to lose weight/be healthy because I'm ashamed of myself in any way.<br /> But I understand some people aren't comfortable, so it's okay. I just rely on Bryan on those close to me to give me encouragement.<br /> After awhile, look through your outfit photos and you'll see a change. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123680 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:08:36 +0000 chewyspaghetti 123680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You would think- but I haven't found that to be the case, either.<br /> I think it's just something that people don't want to mention unless they are really close to you. It's like it's a private thing. My one SIL said something to me at Thanksgiving (I hadn't seen them in several months), but she whispered it in my ear like it was a secret. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123675 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:35:17 +0000 Louise 123675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think when people see you everyday they don't notice the weightloss because it's a gradual process but i bet someone who hasn't seen you in a few months will go "wow you've lost loads of weight" x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123663 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:11:45 +0000 Maya 123663@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, I can totally relate to what you wrote. When I was 14 and just a few days into my first year of high school, some wiseass walked by my locker and said "hey cutie" to me. I knew he was being sarcastic. Then I overheard a friend approach him and say "What are you doing? She's UGLY" in this voice that suggested I was the most repulsive creature he ever had the misfortune of laying his eyes on.</p> <p>And that incident has been stuck in my head for TWELVE YEARS. </p> <p>OTOH, I went on a study abroad in 2005 to a small town in France and I was always getting compliments and guys were always trying to buy me drinks, and it made me feel kind of awkward and uncomfortable. I just wasn't used to it and I had myself convinced they were just taking pity on me for being so ugly. It wasn't until I started looking back at some of the pictures that I could accept that they were being sincere. Oh, and I read some article about how there is a strong preference among French men for dark hair :)</p> <p>Anyway, enough "me me me." I don't comment much on the WLS discussions but I read all of them and I am so impressed with every single one of you. As someone who struggles to lose just one pound and has no self control or discipline whatsoever, what you ladies are doing can't be underestimated. Every small victory adds up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123622 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:17:43 +0000 Michelle 123622@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yea Kendra! Welcome aboard! The girls have been an amazing source of support, inspiration and motivation for me and it's great that you're joining in!</p> <p>Sarah, wow, great week! Well done! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123612 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:23:35 +0000 Sarah 123612@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've really had a break through week (2.2 pounds lost since Monday). Nothing motivates me more than my own success.<br /> It's hard to measure success sometimes, but I definitely agree that you should measure, Marianna. Weight can be finicky sometimes (depending on the time of month, how much water you're retaining, etc) but inches don't lie.<br /> Also, your clothes will start feeling different. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123609 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:19:34 +0000 chewyspaghetti 123609@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No rules- just support :)</p> <p>We have bee weighing in on Mondays, and tagging our posts WLS for weight loss support </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123500 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:02:45 +0000 Mac 123500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not just related to weight... I think that many of us women have been trained to be "nice girls." From my own personal experience, I internalized this message of not being "full of myself, vain, arrogant, stuck up" (which is a good message, in itself) but twisted it to the point that whenever anyone gives me positive feedback, I brush it off. And, on the other hand, whenever someone gives me negative feeback, I take it very much to heart; I worry over it and remember it for years. Somehow, in my head, compliments/ positive feedback are somehow less true and a reflection of the sweet personality of the person who gives them (he's just being nice, she's saying that because she's a kind person) vs. negative feedback which is more true and a reflection on me instead of the speaker (I'm not good at this job, I look terrible, I must be too fat to wear this).</p> <p>I can't speak for anyone else here, but I realised it didn't make logical sense to hold on so tight to negative feedback but dismiss the positive feedback. So now, when someone says something nice about me, I stop my kneejerk reaction of dismissing it. I take a deep breath, say thank you, and then let myself absorb it for a few seconds. And I allow myself to believe that yeah, maybe the person is being kind but maybe they are ALSO telling the truth! And when someone gives me negative feedback, I remind myself that perhaps what they're saying is true, but maybe the person is ALSO saying it because he/she is having a crappy day.</p> <p>Maybe no one else here can relate. But looking clearly at my own thought process has really allowed me to start viewing MYSELF differently. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123499 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:31:33 +0000 Lee Hovey 123499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awesome! Are there any rules or guidelines? </p> <p>Chewy, I think learning to accept compliments is a part of learning self-love. The more one loves ones self the more I think they would allow themselves to be praised (and to actually believe the praise), and praise themselves. </p> <p>I think when we doubt ourselves internally (because of perceived flaws) the more we are reluctant to believe someone else could be complimenting us sincerely. Our instinct is that they are just being nice. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123497 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:26:15 +0000 chewyspaghetti 123497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We look forward to having you with us Kendra!</p> <p>Oh and Michelle as far as compliments from other people- I do think that many people are hesitant to mention it. As much weight as I've lost- I still have people that will not mention it. The other parents in our therapy group (for my autistic son) don't say anything- and I see them every week. My next door neighbor told me yesterday that I look different. I told her it must be the haircut. I honestly don't think she's noticed until now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123493 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:05:49 +0000 marianna 123493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kendra, ABSOLUTELY join us! The more the merrier! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123492 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:01:55 +0000 Lee Hovey 123492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Chewy, what a great post!</p> <p>I was wondering if it's too late to join the WLS action? As soon as I am cleared to hit the gym again I plan on committing hard to losing weight and I would love to take part in the support group! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123488 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:56:45 +0000 marianna 123488@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel like I don't really know how much progress I've made because I keep jumping from one scale to another. I haven't been measuring inches lost at all, but I probably should be! All I can honestly say is that I've been *very* good with my food intake. Really, I've made so much progress. I haven't been overeating or engaging in emotional eating at all. It's been great.</p> <p>Michelle, I bet you others have noticed your weight loss but have been afraid to mention something. 15 pounds is a considerable amount! Often times people simply don't know if it's proper to mention weight loss or not. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123487 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:39:34 +0000 Angie 123487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Khris, you rock. Big kiss.</p> <p>Marianna, I'm with Michelle. You've lost more than you think. You started loosing weight way before you even got onto a scale! You've probably lost at least 10-12 pounds. </p> <p>question: are you measuring how many inches you've lost too? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123472 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:45:59 +0000 Michelle 123472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marianna, I think you've lost more than seven pounds. You dropped seven in January, and you registered a couple of drops in December too. A lot of people have noticed your weight loss on the forum, and you even said your mom made note of it too. Obviously your body reflects changes more quickly than your mind does, by which I mean you're probably the last one to give yourself credit for the work you've put in. To put things in perspective, I've dropped 15 pounds now and I've had a total of one person notice the change. For me that can get frustrating, since I can't turn to a mirror for validation and I don't always trust my sense of touch. But I have to remember that there are myriad ways of documenting progress, and outside comments are but one (clothing fit and energy level are also great indicators for me, and I have to remember that I feel differences there). </p> <p>Khris, this is a great mantra that everyone trying to lose weight should post on their fridge asap! Thank you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123463 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:09:34 +0000 marianna 123463@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Khris, thank you for writing this. I guess I've been rotten about accepting compliments. Sorry about that. Honestly though, I've lost only around 7 pounds, which is nothing on my 5'10" frame. Generally it takes me at least 30 pounds to drop a size -- it's true. That's why I've been iffy about believing that my size has changed.</p> <p>I will admit, it did feel pretty amazing fitting into a REGULAR size 16 (without a W at the end of the size!) But I still am having a hard time believing my size has changed... I think it's the cut of the garment. Who really knows...</p> <p>I absolutely understand what you're saying, though. I need to keep your words in mind and start accepting the compliments and not shrugging them off. It's just REALLY frustrating when you feel like you're working hard and the scale doesn't budge. Or one day a regular size 16 fits, but the next day nothing in the regular dept fits and you're back in the plus size range. That's why I have a hard time believing or trusting size changes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wls-accepting-your-progress#post-123459 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:56:00 +0000 chewyspaghetti 123459@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've worked hard, (even if things did not go exactly the way that you planned) now you've made some progress. People can see it, and will comment. Don't shrug it off. Accept the compliments, and validate yourself. You've worked hard to get here- so enjoy it.<br /> Progress is spotty- some garments will fit for a long time and through lots of weight loss. Other things will begin to fit in fits and starts. Sizing is so erratic, and there are lots of different ranges, so don't let that frustrate you. It will take a while for your mind to catch up to your body sometimes. Be aware, and be diligent on fit. If a new size fits, it's not because it runs big- it's because that fits you now. Try to wrap your head around it and enjoy it.<br /> You have the power to change your body- don't give that power away!<br /> (Yes Marianna- I am thinking of you especially!) </p>