https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 17 Jun 2026 01:10:07 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1465177 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 15:53:34 +0000 Alassë 1465177@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The colours in your blouse and socks are lovely on your complexion, and the outfit definitely reads as toned-down E. I like your outerwear pic, too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1465152 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 15:11:13 +0000 catgirl 1465152@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you want India travel advice, we should discuss in the off-topic section and I know there are lots of members willing to help out, including me.&nbsp; Don't be dissuaded from going.&nbsp; There are male idiots everywhere, sadly... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1465140 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:58:43 +0000 E 1465140@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keturah, librarians rock! No, where I lived in Texas almost never got icy (which meant when it did, everything shut down, since the city didn’t have anything in place to fix the roads); that’s southern Texas though. Up in the north, it gets cooler in winters. But I’m talking about where I live now, in upstate NY! I’m in a lake effect region, so there’s lots of snow, and sometimes that turns into ice. I lived in Colorado for a few years, in a semi-rural area, and there were lots of coyotes, the occasional bear, and the possibility of mountain lions. I wouldn’t have let my pup out after dark for sure!<div><br /></div><div>Thanks Shevia. :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Than you Lyn! I blended in better at least than when I’m in a poofy skirt. hehe</div><div><br /></div><div>AG, I would love to visit India one day, but I’m also a bit hesitant to visit as a solo woman traveller/backpacker, because of the catcalling culture I’ve read about in the northern cities. :/ I mean, there’s no way I’m going to blend in, even if I wear a shalwar kameez. I’m not worried about something big &amp; violent happening, just the everyday grind of having to put ‘armor’ on whenever I head out the door. Anyway, I still do plan on visiting, because I love so many Indian authors &amp; films &amp; food &amp; all of the layers of&nbsp;history and architectures and spectacular landscapes, not to mention the possibility for epic roadtrips,&nbsp;but I think I’ll start in the south instead! Or the Himalayas...instead of jumping straight into Delhi &amp; Agra.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sorry, I got sidetracked!&nbsp;I agree that there’s no good response, so I just choose ignoring it. I find as long as my headphones are in, so I don’t have whatever they said running through my head on repeat, I don’t feel like too much of a victim. Without headphones though, I get really annoyed.&nbsp;</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1465117 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:18:59 +0000 catgirl 1465117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is beautiful, although I'm sorry you had to wear it to avoid harassment and not for the sheer (ha!) joy of it. </p> <p>My frustration in these situations is that there is no effective way to respond.&nbsp; Ignoring it makes me feel like a victim.&nbsp; Yet any other response gives the catcaller what they want - a response.&nbsp; Flipping them off, a sassy or rude retort, a cheeky wave, confrontation... it's that awful&nbsp;sense of powerlessness.&nbsp; There's nothing you can do to a guy that's the equivalent.</p> <p>Once when I was 15, my female cousin and I were on a crowded bus in India, and some dude was taking advantage to grope us.&nbsp; My cousin is a spirited soul, and she whispered to me "get ready to run".&nbsp; Then as the bus stopped, she took off her sandal and smacked the guy in the face with it, pretty much the worst insult you can imagine.&nbsp; We jumped off the bus and ran for our lives, and thankfully no angry mob followed us.&nbsp; It was stupid and probably not safe, but so empowering.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1465115 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:03:38 +0000 lyn67 1465115@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha, you look&nbsp;too cute to just "blend in":-) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1464955 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 02:56:47 +0000 Jaime 1464955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are quite perceptive to understand that the guys are responding to your standing out from the crowd&nbsp;rather than your look per se. And your strategy makes sense - you aren't going to change them so you might as well beat them, umm I mean&nbsp;avoid them. Anyway, you look terrific, I like how the blouse sticks out under the jacket so that is an advantage to the length.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in/page/2#post-1464941 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 02:05:42 +0000 Keturah 1464941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a tunic (or smock? :)) that I tuck in to wear as a blouse quite often. It's so fun. </p> <p>Being preventive does make sense! I dont even like being gaped at. I've had self defense classes and such. My dad practiced martial arts before he had kids. But we never were taught or enrolled. I know I would find it comforting and empowering. But books work I'm a librarian what can I say: carry a book! Hehe </p> <p>I didn't realizd it could get Icy in Texas! I just thought it was mild most of the year. My town has been changing. Lately we've had a lot of thefts and robberies of homes and cars. But mostly it's not safe after dark because of the wildlife here in the mountains. Coyotes, elk, and such. I'm glad you have a safe place to enjoy walking thistle </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464932 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 01:42:27 +0000 E 1464932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, it drives me nuts when men tell me to smile too! Objectification=infuriation.</p> <p>Keturah, I'll think of it as a smock then, at least until I have the sewing skills to shorten it! Luckily I can always wear it tucked into a skirt or my higher waisted trousers, thus sidestepping the issue. I do love tucking. ;)</p> <p>I'm sorry that happened to you; that's so much creepier than catcalls. I had a creepy encounter in the park closest to my house in Texas &amp; I was nervous walking in that park for months afterwards. It sucks that one bad apple can make our routines less enjoyable.</p> <p>Luckily the catcalling isn't terribly dramatic here, and I don't feel physically threatened. I'm mainly just being preventative, if that makes sense! I do wish I had a black belt in martial arts though; my mom said she regrets not having both my sister &amp; I study one when we were little. You just don't think about things until it's too late! Oh well; I've got kick butt attitude to spare. hehe And I'm usually carrying enough books to make a decent emergency weapon. ;)</p> <p>I live in a very different neighbourhood than where the library is: I feel completely safe walking after dark in this area. Which is good, since the sun set at 4:30 during the winter, and Thistle needs a pre-bedtime little walk. The only nighttime threat here is icy sidewalks! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464793 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 19:55:30 +0000 Keturah 1464793@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such a gorgeous blouse and outfit as always, E. I do think I'd like it better if the blouse were a couple inches shorter. But you look smashing in it with the longer length. It reminds me of a painters snock, just how soft and bohemian it is. Lovely! I love your new knitted hat! It's so pretty and springy! It reminds me of the purples I see in grasses and in the sky. It's soft and so pretty.</p> <p>Sorry about the catcalls. It makes a girl feel vulnerable, doesn't it? Last fall a guy in a truck waited for me outside a shop and tried following me home while I was walking. (I was only a few blocks from my home a didn't have my cell phone with me.) I was terrified and still feel edgy when I'm walking alone. I feel there's a balance of ignoring the calls and blending in with my clothing choices. I live in a very small resort village, so I mostly don't have ot put up with it. When it's tourist season, I don't go anywhere by myself after dark unless my boyfriend accompanies me, or I'm driving home from work. It just feels safer. But I realize that it's different when living in a larger city. Wishing you much love, bravery, safety, courage, and a kick-em-in-the-butt attitude! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464770 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 19:13:04 +0000 Tanya 1464770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That blouse is stunning and gorgeous on you E!&nbsp; I think that is one of your best colors, super flattering.&nbsp; The whole outfit is lovely and you still look like yourself.</p> <p>I also understand and sympathize about the catcalls.&nbsp; It happens to me occasionally, especially when going somewhere a bit dressed up, and&nbsp; it makes me cringe.&nbsp; The comment I especially hate is when the men say "Smile" and think that it is a perfectly acceptable thing to say ( or the longer version of "You look great but why the sad face? Smile!"&nbsp; Urgh) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464762 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 19:06:15 +0000 E 1464762@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Glad you understand Janet! :)</p> <p>RachyLou, so she had the same experience as me! It is interesting. And agree re: I am not a piece of decor. ;)</p> <p>Sterling, it's a shame that so many cultures allow/promote/tolerate catcalling. Just a symptom of a bigger problem, imo. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464707 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 16:15:55 +0000 Anonymous 1464707@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look fabulous. &nbsp;But it does sadden me that you have to dress to blend in. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464605 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 06:45:07 +0000 rachylou 1464605@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isn't that interesting about the skinnies getting less catcalls? There was a girl who worked in the bakery and she basically wore Danskos and put-a-bird-on-it skirts. Not what you'd think would be sexy. Had to tell the guys to stop whistling at her. Not that she seemed upset by it - but it's not ok. No one's there for their entertainment, etc. etc. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464482 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 21:33:59 +0000 Janet 1464482@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally get that. Yeah, the group thing in neighborhoods that are not the most populated…you always need to think of safety first! Hey, I'm from Baltimore, I know how it is. ;-)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464474 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 21:15:04 +0000 E 1464474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We cross-posted Merwoman! I have faith that society is gradually improving on matters like these, but I have to admit having a 9 year old niece makes me wish it would disappear immediately, before she transitions from child to woman, instead of so slowly. Sigh.<div><br /></div><div>Tulle, I’ve heard of Ackerman but not yet read her. Definitely bumping this one up my queue! I love essays by women older &amp; wiser than me (some more that spring to mind: our own Suz’s collection, Kathleen Jamie, and Katherine Swift).<br /><div><br /></div><div>Thanks AM! :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Firecracker, I think most of my skinnies fit this way; my calves are probably a size smaller than my bum, lol, so if skinnies fit in the latter area, they tend to be wrinkly from the knee down. I’m glad it looks intentional! I wish life were different too. It’s really not that bad (I never feel physically threatened), but I just prefer to dress to minimise it as much as possible.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>Suz, I definitely think catcalling is about power. I’ve received compliments from men, especially in that area of town, and I think those feel very different from the kissy noises or obnoxious comments I consider cat calling. Funny that we both feel similarly about tunics, since Gryffin looks so good in them!</div><div><br /></div><div>Crutcher, I wish I could choose invisibility, but so far I’ve yet to develop the magic recipe that allows that. I definitely ignore the catcallers, and keep my headphones in so I don’t even know what they’re saying. Yay for modern technology!</div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks AviaMariah! It would take a lot more than catcalling to keep me away from free books. LOL</div><div><br /></div><div>Diana, the underlayer is attached to the blouse, so I can’t change it, but those are some fun ideas!</div><div><br /></div><div>Frannie, I agree that being dressed out of the norm increases catcalls; that’s why I wear skinnies whenever I go to that section of town. :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Astrid, don’t get me started on all of the encounters I’ve had with creepy older men. I’m sorry you’re getting that attention; it’s so awkward. Ick.</div><div><br /></div><div>Rabbit, I’ve got a pretty good b*tchface, hehe. Once I remembered to turn it on, it definitely helped lessen the problems! And my headphones protect me from actually hearing most of what’s said. I loved that hashtag you linked too &amp; I’ll go watch the short later. Thanks for the links!</div><div><br /></div><div>Janet, my mom &amp; I went on a trip to Mexico City a few years ago, and she got even more catcalls than me, and she was 52 at a time. She has a very curvy figure like yours, and she’s a blonde, so it didn’t really surprise me. My urban walk is fast too, which definitely helps! I was pleasantly surprised at how few catcalls I got in Ecuador (the obnoxious kind) by comparison, but my blonde-ish hair/light eyes definitely got a lot of flirtatious attention.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don’t change my routine, in that I still go to that library, but if I can tweak my outfit to lessen the problem, I will, because the catcallers are usually groups of men, and the area is a bit sketchy/abandoned, so it feels like an ounce of prevention, you know?</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464445 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 19:33:15 +0000 Janet 1464445@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That blouse is so pretty on you! What a gorgeous color, and not necessarily easy to find (it's one of my favorites because it matches my eyes).</p> <p>I understand and sympathize&nbsp;about the catcall thing. It surprises me when&nbsp;I still get the occasional comments and whistles even at (almost) 50. But I just can't get that undone about it. I will never change my route or my routine to avoid it because it just doesn't matter that much to me. But keep in mind, I'm inured enough to it that I go for runs&nbsp;around the city in my usual gear featuring&nbsp;tight running capris, even though, yes, I've gotten catcalls that way too.&nbsp;I've been hearing this stuff in one variation or another since I was 14 and I learned that the quickest way to deflect it is either ignoring it or&nbsp;a not-too-friendly, distracted wave. It helps that I'm a fast walker. My bitchy resting face might help too. ;-)&nbsp;</p> <p>It was interesting to spend time in a Latin American country and see how many comments were directed at one of my travel companions who is about my age and blonde. I think the blonde hair is a magnet for catcalling in those areas where it is not the norm!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464422 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 18:41:34 +0000 rabbit 1464422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think your outfit is great, the colors, shapes and textures work really well together in both the indoor and outdoor versions. &nbsp; I like the length of the blouse and because the sheerness at the bottom don't think it looks heavy or too long.&nbsp;</p> <p>I hear you on the joys of running a gauntlet. &nbsp; Although I haven't noticed it in recent years. &nbsp;Either I'm now at the less visible age, I've perfected my cold b*tchface and selective deafness&nbsp;that I use on some&nbsp;city streets, or my city is less tolerant of it?</p> <p>There was a fair amount of discussion of it on social media&nbsp;last November (I don't know if it was already discussed here?) because of a video that went viral and responses such as the #DudesGreetingDudes hashtag trend:&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/dudes-greeting-dudes#.fcD46zxJ0">http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachel......fcD46zxJ0</a>&nbsp; (which was pretty hilarious.)&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;I think <b>Suz</b> is right that it is mostly about power and&nbsp;maybe there is an&nbsp;idea with certain males that public space (and the personal space of women)&nbsp;belongs to their gender. &nbsp; There is a great animated short called 'Sidewalk' (again may have already been posted) that touches on the phenomena&nbsp;and also explores body self image as women&nbsp;move through life. &nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="https://vimeo.com/106272915">https://vimeo.com/106272915</a>&nbsp;. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464377 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 16:27:53 +0000 Astrid 1464377@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I definitely think Suz might be onto something. Although I'm getting less obvious attention from men my age with my short hair and current style, I think they're intimidated. I'm getting more attention from older men (which I wasn't looking for either). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464357 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 14:53:48 +0000 frannieb 1464357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love the outfit and top. It is still you even with skinnies. </p> <p>Catcalls are annoying - I actually think you get more when dressed out of the norm. I tend to get more when dressed for work in my dresses and skirts ( I do tend for pencils and fit and flare silhouettes) then when in jeans and a sweatshirt. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464354 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 14:45:51 +0000 Diana 1464354@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love that blouse!&nbsp; Such a beautiful color and ethereal, sheer, floaty texture.&nbsp; I don't think the length is bad, actually - it kind of goes with the vibe of the top.&nbsp; Too short, and such a lightweight top would puff away from the body, I think, and look too tenty.&nbsp; Also, I think the sheerness offsets the length - you could try a shorter layering top underneath so the longer line from the pants show, or do a monochrome pants+layering top for an even longer line.&nbsp; </p> <p>Annoying about the catcalls.&nbsp; I know exactly how you feel.&nbsp; Ugh.&nbsp; </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464334 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 13:15:19 +0000 AviaMariah 1464334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this outfit and the top leaders looks great to me. Frustrating about the situation but bravo to you. For not letting them keep you from where you want to go. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464333 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 13:04:23 +0000 crutcher 1464333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love your outfit and the blue green top...I am a water person and appreciate your description of the colors reminding you of mermaids and the ocean...<br />As for being invisible...a woman definitely gets to chose whether or not to be invisible and it is her choice..I am appreciative of your desire to avoid having attention called to you by the third grade guys who hang out on your route...I have also heard older women complain about being invisible...My take on that is you choose to be invisible or not..when others chose this for you, then you are giving up your &nbsp;power...<br />Anyway, you look great and just ignore those boys who are boys when they act like that...smile.. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464330 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 12:54:08 +0000 Suz 1464330@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fascinating observation about needing to wear (body con) skinnies to avoid catcalls. I think your theory is probably right. I wonder if catcalls are a wider power bid by men. We think of that attention as sexual (or sexual in a way) -- but maybe those who dress differently than the norm are threatening to men because dressing for oneself is a way of asserting independent mindedness. Hmmm.&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway, you look great, regardless! I hear you on tunic tops -- you and I have the same feeling about those. I still haven't figured out how the top that makes me feel short-legged works so well for a few others on the forum with similar proportions and height. (E.g. I know gryffin rocks a tunic top and loves it and she is a slim rectangle about our height. Hmmm).&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464255 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 03:28:14 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1464255@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The blouse is gorgeous! The necklace is lovely with it, and I like how the gray skinnies allow the blouse to shine. Those are more slouchy skinnies, if you ask me (right, you didn't! but anyway. ..), and I love the fit of them on you and how cool they look rolled with your boots. <br />It made me sad and angry to read that you have learned through trial and error how to get through those couple of blocks with the least amount of harassment. I wish life were different! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464247 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 02:53:54 +0000 AM 1464247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also love your description of the blouse and the color is superb on you!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464214 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 01:27:31 +0000 tulle 1464214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sara Maitland is new to me.&nbsp; I will look her up right away--always glad to explore a new author's work.&nbsp; There is another book I meant to recommend to you--not on this topic, and not fiction:&nbsp; The Natural History of the Senses by Diane Ackerman.&nbsp; Do you know it?&nbsp; I think you would enjoy her essays.&nbsp; She's a poet with a scientific bent and insatiable curiosity. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464207 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 01:15:16 +0000 E 1464207@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Texstyle! That peeking is my RATE side coming out, as I didn’t even realise it was going that until I saw the photos. Glad it doesn’t look too bad! ;)<div><br /></div><div>Karie, the colour is why it came home with me. hehe</div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks TrekkieGirl!</div><div><br /></div><div>Karin, I completely agree with you; I’m a proud feminist who can talk for hours about what’s wrong with gender dynamics today. Unfortunately, the kind of men who catcall aren’t really interested in explanations as to why that’s problematic. You know?</div><div><br /></div><div>Kiwigal, for a short, round-faced, young-looking, blonde woman, I’m surprisingly good at shifting into ‘don’t mess with me’ mode when I need to! It just takes so much more mental energy, so I only do it when I have to.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you Astrid!</div><div><br /></div><div>MG, we’ll be boho-happy together. I completely understand what you’re saying about avoiding the male gaze; a few years ago I mentioned how much I looked forward to ageing out of this problem to my sister &amp; her friend, and they definitely thought I was nuts. The friend couldn’t understand why I would dress with waist definition and then complain about male attention, as if the only reason for dressing was the male gaze. *sigh* Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying that aspect of getting older &amp; look forward to it myself! Although I understand what Tulle is saying as well, that it’s a double-edged sword.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tulle, I definitely have a long torso and a long rise, so short legs for my height! I do tuck this blouse into skirts, or my high rise wool trousers, but my cords don’t have a high enough rise/space for to hide all the extra fabric. I read somewhere that keeping your top below your cr*tch point (there has to be a more polite term for that) would lengthen your legs by disguising where they start, but I always feel like my legs look shortest in tunic-esque looks. So that advice is full of it! Luckily, making my legs look long has never been a priority of mine, but pleasing proportions are.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I love Byatt &amp; The Matisse Stories, so now I’ll add the Doris Lessing novel to my list. Have you read Sara Maitland’s work? Her recent nonfiction is fabulous, and deals at least tangentially with getting older as a woman. The trivialising of older women is so infuriating, especially since as a young woman I receive the same treatment! Perhaps there will be at least a decade in between where I’m only dismissed for my gender, and not both my gender and my age. *shakes head*</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464203 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 01:08:34 +0000 merwoman 1464203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Simply divine colour on you E!! Your story reminded me of my youth - I desperately wanted a cloak of invisibility&nbsp; so that I could avoid harassment.&nbsp; Wish I could make it disappear for you and all women. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464197 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 01:04:19 +0000 tulle 1464197@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I get what you mean about the blouse.&nbsp; It might be more flattering a couple of inches shorter, (I know you've mentioned that you have a long torso in proportion to your height, so keeping tops shorter will tend to visually lengthen your legs) but it's still a cute, comfy-looking outfit.&nbsp; And of course, with your tiny waist you always have the option of tucking it in . . .</p> <p>Oh, MuseumGal, wait until you turn 60!&nbsp; It can be lovely to be invisible, I agree, when you choose to be.&nbsp; But I think when many older women complain about feeling invisible, they are talking about something more than the loss of male&nbsp; attention.&nbsp; It's the feeling that one's concerns are not being taken seriously, the glazed expression and verbal pat on the head from strangers which seem to happen more often, compromising one's sense of dignity and personal power.&nbsp; Doris Lessing's novel Summer Before the Dark, and A.S. Byatt's wonderful collection The Matisse Stories (Hope I got those titles right!) explore the issue of unwelcome invisibility beautifully.&nbsp; As for men, in my experience they are still paying attention--they are just a LOT older. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-to-blend-in#post-1464121 Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:43:18 +0000 MuseumGal 1464121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look adorable as always, and still very YOU.&nbsp; I think the length of the (beautiful) blouse is very "current" now.&nbsp; I like the boho flair (of course).</p> <p>You know, people look at me like I'm truly insane when I say this, but I think you'll understand - getting old and fat enough to fly beneath the radar of the male gaze most of the time has been a tremendous relief for me.&nbsp; It always perplexes me when middle aged women complain about becoming invisible.&nbsp; For me it's the greatest perk of age. </p>