https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 15 Apr 2026 09:31:29 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2144049 Mon, 14 Sep 2020 10:18:40 +0000 Jessikams 2144049@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindysmith, a job that tires you out is great! No possibility of getting fidgety or anxious, and a good nights sleep is guaranteed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143857 Sat, 12 Sep 2020 19:23:46 +0000 cindysmith 2143857@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jessiekams, without my 12 step sponsor and zoom meetings, I would be absolutely stark raving insane right now. The job change has made it easier because where I work no is so much less stressful, but the long hours in the heat have been rough. Tired is better than stressed to the max, because a good night's sleep or a nap fix the tiredness right up </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143791 Sat, 12 Sep 2020 12:23:46 +0000 Jessikams 2143791@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beautiful gauzy top for a beautiful strong lady. I’m betting that your recovery and meetings have given you some amazing tools to deal with this pandemic and other challenges if this year. Hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143705 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:10:50 +0000 cindysmith 2143705@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thankful2, yes. You put my feelings into words. Looking at all my beautiful, impractical shoes, KNOWING THAT I HAVE NOWHERE TO WEAR THEM, it depresses me. Shoes are an area I'll be asking Angie to lend her beady eagle eyes to. I love shoes, but I know I have too much of the fancy kind and not enough that realistically fit my situation. I could cry, but with my lung condition all that snot would likely make me sick which isn't a good look during the covid-19 apocalypse </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143704 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 19:57:13 +0000 Joyce 2143704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, I loved reading your post and was inspired by your honesty.<br />I am 20 years older than you and live under different circumstances but feel many of the same feelings you have expressed and think many of the other forum members do also. I cannot face looking at my closet and wondering what to wear it is like a nail in the coffin under the pandemic circumstances; a bounty of clothes with nothing feeling right is depressing. I have been editing, even against sound Angie advice, and&nbsp; am feeling like the load is getting lighter. I think the need to WWMYH is most important because today is it! Love your boss and hope he appreciates your dedication, it is a two way street. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143694 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 18:24:29 +0000 cindysmith 2143694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Slimcat, my Mollie is such a comfort to me. When I go pick her up, she gets so excited and runs in circles and licks my face :-D</p> <p>CocoLion, I sent you a PM about the meetings. Hang in there (((hugs)))</p> <p>Star, YES! I need more of these in general!</p> <p>Robin, you're right! I'm worth the special stuff :-D</p> <p>Unfrumped, as bad as the big box store was, I'm sure it doesn't come close to the special kind of hell frontline medical/first responders are living in. Thank you for being a safe place for your essential worker friends, and thank you for being part of my support group here at YLF XOXO</p> <p>Bijou, good for you, you're worth the nice stuff all the time :-D</p> <p>Angie, thank you! I'll be counting on you when I dive into the tops in the holding zone XOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143691 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 18:13:48 +0000 cindysmith 2143691@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shevia, I love the real real. I've gotten such great stuff there, and there's lots of Helmut Lang in my obsessions </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143657 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 16:37:43 +0000 Angie 2143657@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here to guide you! Bring on the edit </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143634 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 13:33:30 +0000 Bijou 2143634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love and thoroughly approve of your new top. It definitely has an urban angel vibe happening and will be spectacular on you, even if it is only worn to the laundromat. I’m really pleased to hear that you have this new job, definitely safer than working at the grocery store. </p> <p>Dressing up for no particular reason is something I do regularly because that way I get to wear and enjoy my favourite clothing. I hope your weather cools down soon. Relentless heat is so draining and I find it most difficult to dress well when I am feeling like a hot mess. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143631 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 13:09:55 +0000 unfrumped 2143631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I enjoyed reading your musings. You have good reason to feel weariness and need for change! When I talk with my friends/ former colleagues who are medical providers on the front lines every day, I can to some extent imagine what they are going through but feel pretty helpless other than trying to be a sounding board and encourager. I hope you feel support and encouragement from us on YLF.<br /> After a period of stupification in the first months, I’ve moved into more edit- readiness. But I still feel some caution because at some point , things will change. So I am trying to use the Holding Zone.<br /> It did help me to edit done by color- certain colors aren’t great and that can be okay or can drive me to buy more things that match the wrong colors—so, no. Also fabrics that never felt comfortable enough or laundered well. </p> <p>And the heat! It does make one just want to fling clothes off, fling everything warm out the door. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143619 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 12:08:06 +0000 RobinF 2143619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love the top you found! Might as well wear what you like even just hanging out at home!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143616 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 11:47:44 +0000 Star (Lise) 2143616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this top.&nbsp; I was wearing a similar black sleeveless loose fitting floaty material button down (a little bit shorter) last night, and I was thinking even though my wardrobe is full I definitely want more like this for next summer.&nbsp; Our summer is nearly over.&nbsp; &nbsp;And you really should get an apron for work.&nbsp; Good vibes from the Black Sea! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143600 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 06:57:07 +0000 CocoLion 2143600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love the Helmut Lang sheer top! &nbsp;I am happy to enable you. &nbsp;</p> <p>How can you find recovery Zoom meetings? &nbsp;I've been clean since 2006 and stopped going to meetings for reasons I won't get in to. &nbsp;Although I'm not using, my mental health has not been good during the pandemic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143597 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 03:45:22 +0000 slim cat 2143597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always read your posts - never mind the length .&nbsp;<br />I hear you on being grateful for the current work and current boss in our crazy times. Happy you can have Mollie with you at work ( wish I could take my cat with me sometimes - it's therapeutic ...).<br />Love your new special top - you deserve beautiful things in your life!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143581 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 03:06:23 +0000 Jaime 2143581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am floored by how tough and brave you are Cindy. That's all. Do not begrudge yourself small indulgences. Well also when you said light and floaty sleeveless top I immediately thought of Helmut Lang - usually very cheap on theRealreal too. I wore exactly that sort of thing yesterday, black and white abstract pattern so wouldn't show stains easily, purchased years ago there for less than $20 I believe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143566 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 01:51:34 +0000 cindysmith 2143566@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nemosmom, I'm actually kind of pleased with myself for spending a bit more to get one garment that I fell in love with rather than buying a number of "good enough" ones. And yeah, it does bum me out to have to buy stuff I know is going to die a cruel death, but at least I got a pretty new top out of it even if it isn't necessarily practical. I deserve to feel luxurious on my days off, and white is a luxurious color for produce workers to wear when we aren't working :-D</p> <p>Janet, if I were still at the big box grocer, I might not consider an edit at all. I did have a bit more time to myself each day in spite of working full time, so my nicer things got worn more often. I'll probably out everything I'm considering consigning into a holding zone for a bit before I actually take them anywhere.</p> <p>Sal, I bet he would be willing to reimburse me for an apron. An apron would catch most of the stains. Thank you for such a great idea!</p> <p>Angie, I'll start with things that definitely need to go for size reasons, but there WILL come a time when I need your beady eye to help me gain perspective. Thank you! </p> <p>Laura, retail has sucked since this started (((hugs))) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143565 Fri, 11 Sep 2020 01:10:13 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 2143565@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always appreciate your posts because we both have the wardrobe challenges with working in retail. I’ve been thinking a lot of similar thoughts, in the sense of coming to terms with my life having permanently changed (inasmuch as anything is permanent) and what that should mean for my wardrobe.</p> <p>I’m so glad you’ve landed at a good place with a good boss; that’s invaluable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143545 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 22:53:10 +0000 Angie 2143545@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like your boss too.&nbsp;</p> <p>We don't need to be practical all the time! Where is the fun in that :)</p> <p> WWMYH. (Wear What Makes You Happy).</p> <p>I'm here to keep a beady eye on the editing..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143534 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 22:14:21 +0000 Sal 2143534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Janet said....</p> <p>Is there any way that your boss could provide you with a uniform eg overalls or similar - that would stop your clothes getting ruined?</p> <p>I think go with the pull to clothes that make you happy!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143530 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 21:33:44 +0000 Janet 2143530@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your boss definitely sounds like a good one! </p> <p>I hear you. Part of me wants to do a big huge closet edit, but it doesn’t totally feel right at the moment. I’m holding off. </p> <p>I firmly believe in wearing what makes you happy, even if it doesn’t seem practical. DYOT! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143520 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 21:04:33 +0000 Vildy 2143520@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like your boss, sight unseen.&nbsp; Pet pig, pet goat and highly appreciative of you.&nbsp; A real mensch. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143504 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 19:39:22 +0000 nemosmom 2143504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The coronapocolypse has been such a major downer, and incredibly disruptive...</p> <p> <div>It sounds like, in spite of all of this, you have identified what you WANT to wear and that is a huge accomplishment!&nbsp; It can feel very defeating to have your clothes ravaged by your job. And, when you have to spend hard earned money replacing clothes that you KNOW will just get trashed -- while your nice things that you love just sit collecting dust in a closet -- it's easy to feel really, really bummed about that.</div><div><br /></div><div>Self care is SO important. Especially nowadays. Sometimes a little retail therapy can be a way of self care, especially when other ways of taking care of ourselves are simply not possible right now.&nbsp; Don't beat yourself up for buying a couple of not-harmful things that make you smile.<br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143494 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 19:07:16 +0000 cindysmith 2143494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Vildy, it's a produce stand, and the boss has a pet pig and pet goat, so Miss Mollie fits right in!</p> <p>Cardiff Girl, I'll be keeping the post-pandemic future in mind as I slowly sort through my closet cupboards. If I think it might get more use when I can go to in-person meetings again, it will stay to be reassessed at a later date. I'm looking more at the stuff that hasn't been worn in a long time, even pre-pandemic; that's the stuff that will get consigned. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143487 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 18:45:39 +0000 Cardiff girl 2143487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>I’m not in the same circumstances as you but I understand the recent and sudden urge to get rid of a lot of stuff.l think that the pandemic has made a lot if people question a lot of things including their closets.l Personally would hesitate to get rid of a lot of stuff now though tempting though it is but it’s fun to contemplate a new style shift.l look forward to seeing the outcome of all this thought!</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143451 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 15:36:45 +0000 Vildy 2143451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Loved your take on transparency.&nbsp; And you can take your dog to work?<br />What is that boss of yours, French? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wib-not-practical-long-navel-gazing#post-2143447 Thu, 10 Sep 2020 15:27:12 +0000 cindysmith 2143447@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was standing in front of my cupboard that holds my 'not-work' summer tops wailing because I "had nothing to wear". This usually triggers a shopping spree where I buy multiple iterations of whatever it is I'm craving that I'm not seeing; this time, I was cash-poor and had to sit with the whole nothing-to-wear feeling. This time, the craving was for lightweight, loose-fitting, sleeveless summer tops. I have many a summer top, but most of them are fitted, and I was feeling bloated and hot and sweaty (oh, the joys of menopause in summer), and just wanted something that would not feel constricting or stifling.</p> <p>Well, I finally settled on something to wear for the day, but I wasn't 100% happy with it. Pre-coronapocalypse, I had been feeling drawn towards lighter colors, and had added quite a bit of white and cream to my wardrobe. The dark, heavy, emotional toll of living through a pandemic as a high-risk demographic + essential work that necessitates dark colored garments I won't cry over seems to have exponentially multiplied that pull towards something lighter. </p> <p>I spent some time browsing sales and feeling distinctly uninspired. I browsed The Real Real, Nordstrom, Joie, Splendid, Yoox, and countless other sites, hoping against hope to find just ONE summer top that said "buy me" and just couldn't make myself pull the trigger on any of it. Here I am, several days later, and Angie has posted about changes in the fashion, style, and shopping worlds and here I sit in a pale pink tee, pale tan jeans, and cowboy boots, having finally found ONE top to buy and the top in question is probably the most impractical thing I could have bought for summer in my world. See screenshots for proof. What on earth am I going to do with an extra long white top? Probably sit around on the couch and crochet or binge-watch some random show (after I finish binging GOT for the 2nd time). This is really a top that I would ideally wear with jeans, and jeans are the absolute most impractical thing I can think of to wear in the Texas heat. And IDC IDC IDC I did it anyway. I'm craving lightness, I'm craving breathability, I'm even craving a bit of transparency. Perhaps that craving for transparency is backlash to the current sociopolitical environment, perhaps it is backlash to the face coverings that hide something that always stayed exposed unless one was robbing a bank or something.</p> <p>I recently bought a Joie top that I love love love so very much, and that was my last real fashion purchase. Everything I've bought in recent months has been to fill a need. I have been destroying work clothes at the usual astronomical rate, so my purchases have been things I won't cry over when the inevitable occurs. I expect there will continue to be a lot of churn in that department; it's the nature of the beast in my job. I'll continue to try and buy as much of my work clothes as I can at thrift stores to ease the guilt over the amount I have to buy. But the coronapocalypse, and all of the freaking self-quarantines I've already been through have forced me to really THINK about acquisitions. The coronapocalypse has slowed me down in many many ways (shopping and clothes, relationships, even in-person 12 step meeting attendance), and I needed all of it (except the meeting thing, I need MORE of that, thank heaven for zoom).</p> <p>I've got a bedroom FULL of nice clothes, and more great shoes than I can possibly wear right now. My work situation plus the coronapocalypse leave me with very little down time, and a large portion of my off days is spent recovering from all the hours of labor in the heat. The pandemic has left us with no places to go and very little to do outside the home. My beautiful things aren't getting worn very often, and likely won't for some time.</p> <p>I'm actually toying with the idea of starting a major closet clean-out. I know we have all talked about the need to wait until things have returned to something approaching normal, but for me this is probably the new normal for the foreseeable future. I don't see myself changing jobs; I'm too grateful for my current boss. He hired me within a couple of weeks of moving to this area, and when I had to resign from the big box grocer to avoid getting fired I was jobless for less than 3 hours in the middle of the worst unemployment crisis this nation has ever seen. I'm actually very content at work in spite of the heat. The work environment is far more relaxed, the boss is very fair and quite funny, and I can take Mollie to work with me whenever I want to do so. I'm pretty locked into my job, so my thoughts of a wardrobe edit have been based around that and not the pandemic. I've adapted to having nowhere to go and nothing to do; I just wear my good stuff even if I'm only going to the laundromat or staying home all day. Burn the $30 candle, right?</p> <p>With work being the driving force behind this wardrobe edit, I've started stewing in my own juices about what I realistically wear and love. What do I want to wear? The answer seems to follow a formula: longer looser tops, slimmer bottoms. Year round, that's my go-to. Anything that doesn't fit that formula is in very real danger of being consigned. There are a few things that will probably get to stay that don't fit that formula, but not many. I just don't reach for them.</p> <p>I know some of you really enjoy my goodbye posts, so I expect there will be lots of them coming up in the future. My space (and budget) are too limited for me to keep buying beautiful things on a whim. I will be keeping my 'avenging angel' style moniker in mind AND my preferred outfit formula for any and all future purchases (as Cuyana says, "fewer, better things"); I will also be keeping those things in mind as I begin the slow, soul-searching process of getting a pile ready for consignment. </p> <p>The coronapocalypse has affected me on many levels. My style, my 12 step recovery, my mental health... It's put me in a situation very similar to when I got clean: desperation, focus on healing, focus on self-care, focus on those I love. At my age (50 years old), it is long past time I make these changes. I'm grateful I have this community to walk through the style parts of the changes that are brewing. I'm grateful you guys appreciate my 'goodbye' posts. I'm looking forward to seeing what makes the grade and what my style looks like in the future. I'm grateful for the way this site has helped me focus on my style; my wardrobe has become less schizophrenic since I started hanging out with y'all. I'm also grateful I found that consignment shop where I bought a freaking ton of premium label skinny jeans this spring, it leaves me in a very solid place for bottoms moving forward. Now, to dive into the top half of my style....</p> <p>To be continued...</p> <p>XOXO </p>