https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 05 Apr 2026 12:38:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491419 Thu, 14 May 2015 02:04:31 +0000 freeda 1491419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>GORGEOUS. </p> <p>Good lord. Seriously. I love it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491290 Wed, 13 May 2015 22:22:19 +0000 unfrumped 1491290@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, you look great!<br />I liked rachylou's suggestions for the outfit, but still you would have to decide if that gets it to become more "you".&nbsp; I like juxtaposing a lot, but that may not be you. So I'd like the more fitted tissue-T under the dress instead of the full sleeves and bow, Or a cropped denim jacket&nbsp;over the dress.&nbsp;I think that would still look very girly and lovely but ground the outfit more and let the skirt stand out as the frilly element.&nbsp; Sometimes juxtaposing like that is even more feminine because the best delicate element (here the skirt) isn't drowned out or competing with other features.<br />Anyway, you are on the right track to just play with the different elements and see when it starts to "click" for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491275 Wed, 13 May 2015 22:00:09 +0000 Diana 1491275@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Re: jackets. Try Nanette lepore. She makes the best jackets and cuts them short and hourglassy. The aesthetic would definitely match too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491273 Wed, 13 May 2015 21:53:27 +0000 Chiara 1491273@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think your outfit is cute- and you have gorgeous hair!<br /> You mentioned jackets being tricky due to being curvy- I have found a way round this is to keep them short and fitted to the waist, or have a peplum at the waist, as otherwise the width I need at the hips makes the whole jacket look rather wide and unflattering. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491245 Wed, 13 May 2015 20:44:43 +0000 Ledonna N. 1491245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey it's ok just remember even the ,most confident person has insecurities. I beat get around them by wearing sunglasses I use to wear hats pulled way down low. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491241 Wed, 13 May 2015 20:26:37 +0000 Twinkling 1491241@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, you guys are amazing! You have given me a LOT to think about, and I absolutely promise not every single thread I start is going to be so gosh darn negative!</p> <p>I'm going to try the method perhaps taking some things away like the hairbow, or maybe try pairing it with a blouse that might not have quite so much loose fabric. I don't think it looks very good without a blouse personally since the top of the dress feels a little TOO casual compared to the bottom of the dress. I wonder if adding some thick lace around the hemline would help make it feel more cohesive to me.</p> <p>To answer a question I think was kind of important...this style does feel like me, but I'm not the type of person who is very self assured. I used to wear jeans and sweatshirts and the like, but I never felt comfortable. Once I started gravitating toward skirts and more frillier types of fabrics I felt SO much happier! At least until I stepped out the door, because you guys hit the nail right on the head. It's just not the type of things I tend to see other ladies wearing often, and then I worry that I'm doing it wrong. That instead of looking as pretty as I did when I was safely inside my own home, I actually look like a clown to everyone else. So I guess it's really a balance more than anything? How to confidently wear what I truly love and feels like me without standing out so much?</p> <p>So thank you, thank you all so much for your kind words and thoughtful insight. I feel so happy to be able to discuss these things with so many wonderful people and get some ideas I hadn't even considered before! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491235 Wed, 13 May 2015 20:05:31 +0000 Keturah 1491235@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You remind me instantly of Rachel Bilson! You're gorgeous, and this is a sweet, beautiful look on you! I hope you'll continue to explore it. It's perfect on you. And it does not look one bit sloppy.</p> <p>I'm short on time, so I haven't read all the replies yet. But I will say this:</p> <div>- allow yourself some time to fall into this style direction. Go slow, don't be hard on yourself.&nbsp;<br />- realize it's not like everyone else's clothes, or the pervasive H&amp;M-Pinterest-skinny-jeans-and-a-tee look. And that is wonderful, beautiful, refreshing, and absolutely what style is about.&nbsp;<br />- I have a close group of girlfriends that all workout together. One thing we discuss a lot is, goal hijacking. It's comparing our goals (or in this case, style) to someone else's goals and letting that "hijack" your goals (style). Comparison is the thief of joy.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>love and hugs! xo</div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491227 Wed, 13 May 2015 19:53:07 +0000 Alassë 1491227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is certainly not sloppy. Perhaps try removing 1 or more of the bows, like the others have suggested, and see how you like it. Or style your hair differently (up)? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491220 Wed, 13 May 2015 19:20:15 +0000 Diana 1491220@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, you look <i>beautiful.</i> The dress is lovely and I think you wear it very well.&nbsp; I see nothing at all sloppy about it.&nbsp; I think the whole look is very harmonious; everything (clothes, shoes, hair) goes together into a coherent whole.&nbsp; </p> <p>However, this outfit is definitely different; it's dressier, more feminine, more refined than what your random woman on the street is going to be wearing.&nbsp; As Jules mentioned right above me, you are defying environmental norms and that takes courage and will attract a certain amount of attention.&nbsp; I know I definitely have days where I love that, and days where I just don't want to be noticed, and I will tailor my outfit choices accordingly (no bright orange pants on those days when I want to hide!).</p> <p>I guess the other big question is: Does this outfit feel authentically <i>you</i>?&nbsp; And are you comfortable wearing it? &nbsp; Because for me the biggest thing about wearing an outfit that's kind of "out there" compared to the rest of world is that I have to be comfortable in it both psychologically and physically.&nbsp; I feel like I walk differently and carry myself differently if I'm not comfortable, and I'm pretty sure it shows to outside observers.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491216 Wed, 13 May 2015 19:10:10 +0000 RoseandJoan 1491216@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Twinkling, I think your outfit looks very soft,&nbsp;romantic and ethereal and whilst I'm looking at the pics I have Angie's words swirling through my mind 'it takes a lot of courage to defy your environmental norm'. </p> <p></p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491211 Wed, 13 May 2015 19:01:47 +0000 Sal 1491211@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look great, you have glossy healthy hair, a lovely figure and your outfit is not at all sloppy.</p> <p>I agree try the dress with different accessories and shoes at home and see how it works. I love your bangs ( I have a cowlick and can't have them unless I am prepared to wash and straighten every day!). </p> <p>I am self conscious in photos too. So I totally know the feeling you are talking about. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy/page/2#post-1491209 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:57:19 +0000 Von 1491209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's just not what you're used to wearing and that's made you overly critical about it.&nbsp; I think when we're out of our comfort zone, we are at our worst!</p> <p>I also immediately go to feelings of sloppiness when outfits dont fit like I want them to fit in my head (or on paper, or like I saw on Pinterest or here), and the anxiety of it all just eats me up.&nbsp; Sometimes it's something little -- the dress twists when you walk, the sleeves look bunchy when you do XYZ, or any number of outfit quirks that don't show in pictures. That could just be the nature of clothing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491207 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:50:42 +0000 Angie 1491207@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Twinkling, your style reminds of the Lolita look in Japan (especially popular in Harajuku). </p> <p>If this look feels right, continue to sport it with confidence. If it's starting to feel like you need to enjoy the next leg of your style journey - which it does - &nbsp;follow those instincts. But as Gaylene suggests, change one element at a time. That way it won't feel like a stretch.&nbsp;</p> <p>Our styles evolve in small and large ways all the time - especially as we get older. This is a natural process, and one that you can enjoy if you are kind and patient with yourself. We are here to support you if and when you need it.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491206 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:50:37 +0000 rachylou 1491206@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mm. I can see why it might feel teen-aged to you. I think I'd try eliminating the blouse first. It makes the dress modest, less sexy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491204 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:40:19 +0000 Gaylene 1491204@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look very fresh and pretty in these pictures, and I like you in these soft, delicate colours. They suit your style and the look of the dress. </p> <p>Maybe try on the outfit again, removing an element at a time, taking pictures at every step, until you've pared the look to its bare essentials--shoes and dress. Then add back pieces and accessories, one at a time, trying options that both harmonize, and contrast, with the look you are trying to achieve. If you lay out all the pictures, you might be able to discern more clearly at what point you are becoming less satisfied. </p> <p>Harmony is wonderful, but I wonder if you haven't locked yourself into too narrow a vision of where the boundries of your personal style stop and start. That's what happens to many of us who adopt a "classic" style--it's harmonious and well-executed, but it can also end up being dull and not reflective of the real person Inside those clothes. It took Angie and the YLF crowd to make me realize I needed a good dose of "modern" and "elegant" to turn my classic style into a look that was truly my own. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491203 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:39:32 +0000 rachylou 1491203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok, first off, you're a gorgeous girl!</p> <p>Second, indeed you and the dress are way prettier than Winchester Mystery House. I think that is a source of disconnect. The pic of you in front of just the flowers is all that's pretty, whereas in front of the house and hedges an out of place vibe creeps in. And I got to tell you, I remember the drive-in movie adverts for Winchester from the '70s. It was run down and cheap looking back then, when it was prime summer fun.</p> <p>Third - I have a thing about architecture and setting - I think the shoes may have contributed to the costumey feeling. The lace up heeled oxfords nod to the same era as Winchester. But it's run down while you're fresh and young... it's a <i>Somewhere In Time</i> movie effect. I think you are more in earnest than ironic, so naturally you wouldn't like the effect.</p> <p>Fourth, re bows: I'd lose the hair bow and maybe the belt. I think the belt is visually shortening your torso length, but I also see why you added it - it's a sweet finishing touch. The hair bow... Now that you've made me think, this in particular is not on the current resurrection list, so that's why I'd drop it. Also, humans like things to come in threes. You had four bows - because the shoes bow tie too.</p> <p>But frankly, I'd wear this outfit to a dressy party, like a bridal shower, and there is zero sloppiness to be seen. All my thoughts are about how to make the dress more comfortable for you to wear... </p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491193 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:15:06 +0000 Twinkling 1491193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's because I want to feel like a lady, not a teenager, and I don't know why this outfit doesn't say that to me. I wonder if it's because of my fulls bangs? I tried growing them out last year, and it just looked terrible on my face so I chopped them off again. When I'm alone I feel very pretty with my bangs, but when I'm out I rarely see other women my age with bangs that aren't side swept. Or maybe cause when other women my age wear dresses they tend to be of lighter material? Sundresses or a little more revealing? I also feel like this makes me look lumpy and very wide.</p> <p>My fiance suggests I try wearing a blazer/jacket of some sort, but I've yet to find one I like as they tend to look too masculine for my tastes, and they often fall too low on my hip. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491192 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:14:34 +0000 catgirl 1491192@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What the heck, girl? You look like a fashion blogger! What Suz said for sure. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491191 Wed, 13 May 2015 18:13:26 +0000 E 1491191@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your outfit isn't a mess &amp; you're not a hunchback. You look lovely. :)</p> <p>Now if you want to add more structure but also want to layer the dress over a long sleeve top, perhaps &nbsp;try a fitted long sleeve tee underneath instead. I think the fullness of the blouse's sleeves, combined with all of the drape in the dress, might be what's throwing you off, especially in comparison to typical body con looks a lot of women sport these days. That would also remove the pussy bow, which is adding a lot of floppiness/drape too.&nbsp;</p> <p>Your hairstyle, because of the bow, does read as quite youthful; whether that matters to you or not is another thing altogether. ;)&nbsp;</p> <p>Have you seen the blog <a rel="nofollow" href="http://http://allthishappiness.blogspot.com">All This Happiness</a>? She enjoys 'ultrafeminine' clothes too &amp; I think has a similar body type to yours. There's also <a rel="nofollow" href="http://theblackapple.typepad.com/somegirlswander/">this blog</a>, no longer updated, but full of ultrafeminine, vintage outfits sported beautifully by another woman with a fuller hourglass shape. I think both of them could provide a lot of inspiration for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491184 Wed, 13 May 2015 17:59:23 +0000 Suz 1491184@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are WAY too hard on yourself! This is a very pretty, feminine outfit and I like the soft grey with the cream/ white.&nbsp;</p> <p>So...let's break it down some more. What about this don't you like?&nbsp;</p> <p>You do not look like a mess to me at all.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491176 Wed, 13 May 2015 17:27:53 +0000 Twinkling 1491176@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you ladies, you have really made me feel LOADS better. I do apologize for being such a Debbie Downer, although it may not seem like it right now, I really do LOVE clothes, dressing up and using them to express myself-I think that might be why I get so sad when it all seems to go to pieces! I also think other things outside of clothes (like my frizzy hair, lack of make-up and size) are also playing a major role on this and not just the actual garments themselves.</p> <p>So...I'm taking your advice and I asked my fiance to send me some photos from last weekend to share with you all. I know in one it looks like I'm slouching, but I promise I am very self conscious about standing up straight in photos because I think I have a little bit of a hunchback, so I'm not sure how to fix that. Also, I had turned the bow around the waist to the back because I agree that it was too many bows but I still wanted to nip in the waist.</p> <p>My wardrobe consists of a LOT of neutrals and very pale colors (and a lot of black haha), so it never really occurred to me to try to pair it with a bolder color. Sadly, as much as I love it, I have ZERO understanding of color theory despite my efforts, so I tend to gear towards pairing colors all in the same family. I wonder, I do have one blouse that a very deep wine color, do you ladies think that would look good?</p> <p>Anyway, here are my photos, I would love to hear your feedback. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491066 Wed, 13 May 2015 12:30:46 +0000 Nebraskim 1491066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think many of us feel that disconnect between what we think we look like and how we actually look. I know I try so hard to look pulled together and decent but when I see a picture of me, I always spot all the flaws and dishevelment. It's why I avoid being in pictures or looking at myself in mirrors. I am way more harshly critical of myself than I would be with anyone else. I think you might have fallen in that trap as well. Sometimes, it's just a fail of the outfit, but not a failure of you as a person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1491040 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:55:12 +0000 Olivegreen 1491040@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hah, bet we all have had that moment. First it feels like crap, and we sit with a glass of wine or a hot cuppa and complain about how it should be otherwise (for me it is going Square with age ). Then we get busy.<br /> What you noticed is something needs to change for you to be more comfortable with how you are looking. That is so important! Congrats on seeing it and laying it out there. Guts, you have them.<br /> When you feel like it, and who cares how long it takes, and how you do it, you will begin to change it.<br /> Really, it was never me, just clothes that no longer said nice things about me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490970 Wed, 13 May 2015 04:19:56 +0000 Marley 1490970@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, that dress is absolutely gorgeous - I love it! &nbsp;But without pics, its nearly impossible to be able to give you any real solid type of feedback. &nbsp;Just from what you've described about what you wore, my first thought is that you may have gone overboard with the bows. &nbsp;I mean the dress alone is so very girly that adding the pussy bow and the bow in your hair may have taken the look over into costume territory. &nbsp;I'm curious about your age? &nbsp;That information would help me to give you concrete input about how to incorporate your style "likes" into the real life you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490936 Wed, 13 May 2015 02:48:41 +0000 Caro in Oz 1490936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of wisdom here &amp; I hope you are feeling better. You are certainly not alone. </p> <p>I found this really powerful:</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/88035814941/were-eye-doctors-whats-something-about-the">http://www.humansofnewyork.com.....-about-the</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490927 Wed, 13 May 2015 02:37:05 +0000 Jaime 1490927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well just read Suz and everyone's words over and over. I will. Truly it is always a bit of a frightening shock seeing myself in a picture. I have to look quite a few times just to get used to the idea that is me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490904 Wed, 13 May 2015 02:06:07 +0000 Peri 1490904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here is the thread...just to let you know how universal this is!</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-ever-leave-home-feeling-decent-and-then">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....t-and-then</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490891 Wed, 13 May 2015 01:54:43 +0000 catgirl 1490891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>HAHA!&nbsp; Suz!&nbsp; I do say that - and often embody it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490890 Wed, 13 May 2015 01:53:39 +0000 catgirl 1490890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I work with a woman who is a tall, leggy hourglass.&nbsp; She wears a lot of&nbsp; fitted, feminine&nbsp;clothes.&nbsp; There are days when I feel like a troll doll next to her in my clompy boots and oversized silhouettes.&nbsp; But then she will say that she wishes she could dress like me, and I realize so much of what we feel is all in our head.&nbsp; Some days I feel tough and cool in my UWP looks, other days I feel costume-y and awkward.&nbsp; And I am horribly unphotogenic - if not for the sunglasses, I'd spend all day trying to get a WIW pic in which my face looked normal.</p> <p>It sounds like you have a great retro-femme style bent, and if you can own it, that's great.&nbsp; If not, let's figure out what to tweak so you feel like yourself! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-must-i-always-feel-sloppy#post-1490886 Wed, 13 May 2015 01:51:15 +0000 aptlee 1490886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I felt this disconnect recently when I received pictures from my son's wedding--it was outdoors near a stream with reception in a nearby open barn. </p> <p>I was in such a stew trying to figure out what un-denim thing to wear to a pasture; what if it rained? I settled on sturdy booties and this floral shift dress with a short crochet topper to cinch in the volume. </p> <p>I carried it off with a smile but yikes, the pictures showed me it was all wrong. Oh well, it wasn't about me anyway and at least I didn't upstage the beautiful bride! </p> <p>In retrospect, I was trying too hard to make certain elements work that were unflattering to my proportions. The beauty of style is that it is progressive. May I introduce you to my best friend: Do-Over. </p>