https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 02 May 2026 16:20:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-748595 Mon, 15 Oct 2012 18:37:17 +0000 Anonymous 748595@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Michelle, I just came across this thread, as I am guilty of not checking the off topic tab as well. I have lived the life of a clinically depressed individual, as a side effect of medication, and the only thing I can say is that I don't wish that to even my worst enemy. It was a nightmare I hope to never experience again. My thoughts and prayers are with Cory and all of those who battle this illness each and every day. It took for me to get ill to finally understand the chaos that having a mental illness is. </p> <p>My behavior was somewhat similar to Cory's, sans the suicide attempt: Erratic, violent and detached. I know you wonder about whether he means what he says. What I can tell you is that many of the things I said and did, were not coming from my heart. I was hurting so bad, that my only outlet was to be aggresive. I don't know how else to explain it.</p> <p>I don't want to give you the impression that since it is the disease talking, you must "take it". On the contrary, you have a divine responsibility to yourself, to seek out happiness and remove yourself from an unhealthy situation. I was and still am eternally thankful to my fiancee, who never abandoned my side and helped me thru, but I would never, never expect for him to stick around and suffer with me. In due time, Cory would understand if that what you decide to do. </p> <p>This is a very complex issue and I so wish I could provide with better advice. Stick with individual therapy and take care of yourself. A million hugs to you and Cory. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-733871 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 19:12:56 +0000 DonnaF 733871@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle;<br /> I've forgotten to check this section for oh, the last two or three weeks but have been wondering what happened to you and whether you are okay. So sorry these challenges are the reason why. Just wanted you to send you my support and virtual hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-728835 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 14:27:23 +0000 Queen Mum 728835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle- I haven't commented here as I felt that I had nothing to add, but want you to know you're in my thoughts. Depression is NOT easy to live with, and while it is not the fault of the afflicted, we can't deny that it effects our relationship. You absolutely must take care of yourself... it is so easy to focus on the "sick" person and not take care of our own needs when we are in this type of relationship. My husband suffers from depression, and thankfully has been doing very well on medication... but I remember that very hard time when I did feel that I just needed to deny myself and focus on him because I knew that I was healthy and could handle it. That was absolutely not the right way of thinking. I was contributing to the problem by thinking that if I could just always say the right thing and do the right thing, that I could keep him in a good place. I see now the folly of that way of thinking.<br /> But anyway, do make sure you take care of yourself and get wise counsel and therapy so that you can move forward and make very wise decisions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-728485 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 23:48:46 +0000 Jonesy 728485@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, I am just seeing this today (I keep forgetting to check the OT tab). What a terrible time you've been through! I was wondering where you had gone, but then just figured work was busy, etc. etc. </p> <p>I think seeing a therapist on an individual basis sounds really good. It can be so hard to have a clear head about things like long-term relationships, love, moving forward, etc. A part of you might want to try to keep things the same, while another part says something totally different! With your relationship with Corey, it's probably difficult to separate what is going on with him and the depression, vs. what is going on with your relationship.</p> <p>I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best. You *will* get through this and come out stronger than ever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-727704 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 20:18:45 +0000 Ornella 727704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dear Michelle,<br /> I came here form another thread, hoping to find out more about how you are. I am so, so sorry to read what you're going through.</p> <p>I haven't read everything everyone wrote, just a few posts, I'll come back to it all later as I'm sure there are countless pearls of wisdom to be savoured.<br /> But, Inge wrote such sound advice, Una also gave a valuable perspective and there's very little to be added there. One thing that came to mind, though, is that it really is of utmost importance to take care of yourself - first and foremost. I always think of safety procedures on the airplane when adults are advised to put the oxygen masks on themselves first, *then* on the child next to them. There is nothing we can do for anyone if we don't take care of ourselves first, as simple as that.</p> <p>Also, in situations like this I'd opt for physical distance if at all possible, even if just temporary. I think being away from the unhealthy atmosphere really helps look at things more objectively, rather than sharing the space - physical and mental - and always starting from the deep negatives and wasting so much precious energy and strength just to get yourself to that balanced state from which to start assessing how to get through another day. One gets to start hearing onself, the own inner voice, to enjoy the balance and piece that was craved for - all this can be achieved again.</p> <p>A friend once told me, while I was going through some turmoils of different sort when I was weighing whether to stay in the bad, but familiar circumstances I knew how to handle or to jump into the new and the unknown, that we tend to lull ourselves into false sense of security in the old situations - no matter how bad they are, we have ways of handling them even though they use up our resources; on the other hand, the natural caution before the unknown is mistaken for the insecurity. Please, don't let the fear of the unknown stand in your way of untangling this.</p> <p>You are a beautiful, intelligent, talented and extremely brave woman and have no reason to either tolerate or stay in the circumstances that are not worthy of you or do not make you a better person. Your life is yours alone and it's your one shot at being happy and fulfilled. </p> <p>Lots and lots of love. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-727475 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:19:25 +0000 Laura 727475@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi, Michelle - I am so late to this thread but just saw it and wanted to say that no matter what happens with your relationship, you are a thoughtful, kind, eloquent soul ... not to mention a brilliant woman and talented writer ... and you must not lose that bright light that you are. I know you won't let that happen. xoxo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-727201 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 03:12:40 +0000 sarah 727201@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, I was traveling when you posted this, and I'm so very, very sorry that you are going thru such a rough patch in your life. I don't have any wisdom to offer, but just know that I am thinking of you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-727195 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 03:04:44 +0000 Suz 727195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thinking of you, Michelle, and glad to hear that the meds seem to be starting to work. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-727129 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 01:43:18 +0000 MsMary 727129@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending continued love and support, Michelle! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-726872 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 21:23:55 +0000 missvee 726872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle you're so wise to be aware of your own needs during this tough time. A body under this kind of extreme stress needs high quality food, exercise and fresh air, and as much sleep as you can possibly get. You're in a marathon here not a sprint. Even if the meds start working well, the fallout from this episode is going to take a long time to resolve. Stay strong, and reach out for help wherever and whenever you can. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/3#post-726388 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 13:44:43 +0000 MNsara 726388@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle - I've felt so badly that you're going through this right now {{{hugs}}} I'm glad to hear that there are signs of improvement for Corey, and I'm thrilled that you are taking good care of yourself.</p> <p>You need to keep yourself strong and healthy - it will help you physically, mentally, and emotionally, and you need to be strong when lthings are so difficult. It's loving to ourselves to take good care of ourselves, and you need that right now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-725226 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 12:42:12 +0000 Scarlet 725226@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, wow, you have shown so much resilience already. I just want to send you a big hug and say listen carefully to your own heart and please do what is best for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-725133 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 09:54:53 +0000 ramya 725133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs Michelle....<br /> Keep doing the small steps right... It will always help </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-725096 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 07:19:18 +0000 Louise 725096@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad you're managing to eat and get some sleep you need to stay strong (((hugs))) x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-724728 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 23:05:59 +0000 krishnidoux 724728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My hugs to you! You have indeed been through very tough times... and you did everything right. In the end, Corey is sick and it affects your relationship. I am so sorry for you. I can relate on how scary the prospect of being alone is. My heart is with you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-724281 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 15:05:24 +0000 Debbie 724281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle I am glad you are focusing on your own needs. Sleep and eating healthy are things that wlll help keep you physically healthy while you deal with this.</p> <p>I understand the erratic behaviour. With my daughter it is two steps forward one day and a step back the next. Just take care of yourself and reach out if you need too. You are an important part of this community and the lives of each of us. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-724220 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 13:56:19 +0000 Michelle 724220@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi All, </p> <p>It's been an up and down couple of days, though nothing drastic or dramatic has happened. I'm seeing more signs that the meds are starting to work, though those signs aren't yet constant. It's only been a week and change, though, so that's at least in line with how the meds have worked before. He's still erratic - making really significant efforts one day, being overly self-absorbed the next, but nothing hurtful has been said for a few days. He knows there's a letter waiting for him when he's able to read it.<br /> As for me, I've just been incredibly tired of late. I'm putting my energy into cooking healthfully again (I let it go last week when things were at their worst) and getting plenty of sleep. I'm kind of in a holding pattern until the meds have fully kicked in. I've got some evenings with local girlfriends scheduled this week to give me a boost too, which is always appreciated. Right now, though, sleep is my primary physical need.<br /> Things really do change day to day. I've learned not to pin too much hope on a positive 24-hour stretch. It's harder to avoid feeling discouraged by a negative one, but it's important too.<br /> One thing I do repeatedly is come back to this thread. It helps more than you know. Between everyone's wise insight, therapeutic comments and practical suggestions/reading material, it's one of the best supports I have. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-723190 Mon, 17 Sep 2012 11:07:34 +0000 Janet 723190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, this is the first post I'm reading in weeks here because I'm traveling and have been out of touch, but my eyes have been tearing up reading this. My family has been grappling with mental illness lately, as we checked my youngest stepson into the hospital just a few weeks ago. It is indeed a roller coaster, and it's painful and confusing when a person you love seems to disappear and leave a stranger in their place. </p> <p>I'm so glad you've reached out to Angie and the rest of the YLF group. I know that I've felt an outpouring of positive support when I've done the same. I know we cannot offer much in the way of concrete help, but I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-723121 Mon, 17 Sep 2012 03:53:49 +0000 Echo 723121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am relatively new to the board, but I am so, so sorry about what you and Corey are going through. I, also, understand all too well both sides of this coin, and neither is a pretty place to be. Most people suffering depression have a VERY hard time coming to grips with the idea that they cannot will themselves out of it, that it isn't a personal failing that would cease to exist if only they didn't indulge it. It is very difficult to accept that depression is a disease the same as any other we have little control over, and that it requires treatment just like other, better-understood illness. </p> <p>And part of the issue, of course, is that the medical community is not entirely clear on what the exact causes or triggers of depression are, why some people are more succeptible than others, and exactly which treatments will be effective. It can often take a rotation through medications to find one that works, and even if one has worked in the past it may not work in the same way when tried again. It can be frustrating to the point of hopelessness for both the sufferer and his/her family and loved ones.</p> <p>Additionally, many people who suffer depression are caught in a self-repeating loop of inaction and indecision. It is almost like they are paralyzed and unable to act. When they see the signs of illness returning, it is easier to deny it and keep pretending like nothing has changed until things get to the point of falling apart. Getting out of the hole at that point is much more challenging than it would have been initially, but it is too late, the damage is done and the illness has progressed far enough that recovery is that much more difficult.</p> <p>But regardless of Corey's struggles, you need to take care of you, too. Previous posters are correct that he has been verbally or emotionally abusive, and that is damaging to you and the relationship. I hope you can find a way to perhaps live without him for a while, if for no other reason than to clear your own head and decide what is best for yourself in the long run. Big hugs sent your way; I am so sorry you are going through this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-722369 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 02:02:05 +0000 Kari 722369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also wanted to chime in with a few links that specifically highlight how you can care with *yourself* while being the partner of a person with depression that have a lot of wise ideas (some of which I know you're doing already.) Just in case they help.</p> <p><a href="http://www.helpguide.org/mental/living_depressed_person.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.helpguide.org/menta.....person.htm</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.upliftprogram.com/article_deprelate.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.upliftprogram.com/a.....elate.html</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.storiedmind.com/relationship/what-can-you-do-when-partner-depressed/" rel="nofollow">http://www.storiedmind.com/rel.....depressed/</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.storiedmind.com/depressed-partners/restoring-trust-depressed-partner-returns/" rel="nofollow">http://www.storiedmind.com/dep.....r-returns/</a></p> <p>The last site, Storied Mind, has a lot of good articles to pore through in case you haven't visited it before. This one on depression and relationships sounds a LOT like what you have been describing. <a href="http://www.storiedmind.com/depressed-partners/relationships-conflict-depressions-role/" rel="nofollow">http://www.storiedmind.com/dep.....ions-role/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-722365 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 01:57:03 +0000 velvetychocolate 722365@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to pop in here and let you know I'm thinking of you, and that I hope tomorrow's appt. goes well. </p> <p>I know this must be extremely difficult to deal with, and even though we don't really know each other in person, I wanted to say that you have lots of people (and doggies) who care about you and we're all hoping that things get much better as you work through this difficult time. </p> <p>Sending over some extra hugs and a big boost of some very strong "I can get through this" energy. </p> <p>Hang in there Michelle - you're in our thoughts. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-722364 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 01:55:24 +0000 Kari 722364@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another idea, Michelle - this does not help with your relationship with Corey specifically, but more to bolster your own spirits - collect positive affirmations. Bookmark this thread, save emails and messages and letters that are meaningful to you and remind you of what a wonderful person you are, and how you are loved.<br /> You need that reminder when you aren't receiving it from the person you are living with. (And Reva and her sloppy Lab kisses can't hurt.)</p> <p>One of my college roommates and best friends saw me go through a really low period, and as a gift she made me a "Bad Day Box" - a care package complete with chocolate, tissues, silly stickers, individually sealed cards for me to open up when I needed a boost. It was such an incredibly sweet gift and reminded me when I needed it that I had the love of my friends.</p> <p>We're here for you, and if there's anything that we can do to help, please feel welcome to reach out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-722330 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 01:02:10 +0000 celia 722330@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hope the session goes well tomorrow.Big hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-722209 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 21:32:24 +0000 Transcona Shannon 722209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle - I was wondering where you had been and I keep forgetting to check this thread. I'm so glad I popped in today.</p> <p>I'm usually a "chatty Cathy" kind of person but for once I am at a loss for words. You have received much wonderful advice already from the YLFers. Like Angie, I hope that there is a friend you can stay with on an interim basis while other more permanent solutions can be found.</p> <p>I just want you to know I am thinking of you and am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Please remember to take care of yourself first and foremost, ok?</p> <p>Hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-721999 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 16:52:14 +0000 Angie 721999@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good news, Michelle. Hang in there till then and keep us posted on what the therapist suggests. Can you spend time with a friend till then? </p> <p>Good thing you have Revie. XOXOX </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-721954 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 16:06:12 +0000 Michelle 721954@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, my next session is tomorrow afternoon. And not a moment too soon. I will ask her advice on how to cope short-term, because I could definitely use the guidance. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-721878 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 14:06:01 +0000 Angie 721878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, sweetheart. I am so, so, so sorry. You *cannot* reason with an irrational state of mind. You were right to write that letter, and hope that at some point Corey will read it when he is in a rational state of mind. He is SO caught up in himself, and unfortunately you are victim of the emotional abuse. </p> <p>I get that you can't move anywhere permanent on your own without HECTIC disruption and consequences. Moving in with parents is not an option either. I was wondering whether a friend could help out short term. And perhaps your therapist has more ideas. When are you seeing the therapist again? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-721809 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 06:26:23 +0000 Michelle 721809@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your ongoing kindness.<br /> Kari, you are so right about the lack of moral failing associated with depression. I've tried to make this point to Corey so many times, but right now he's too far gone to hear me, I think. In the years since his suicide attempt he was more vigilant than ever before about watching for warning signs, maintaining reasonable work/life balance and generally avoiding triggers that could send him down the wrong track. What he didn't do, however, was address issues that were festering below the surface. I didn't push it much either, and in that sense I'm equally to blame. Part of what's broadsided me so much recently is that he did ignore all the warnings and reached this horrible low. It's something we'll have to address one of these days. </p> <p>I've written him a letter in which I've said everything I can't say now. When I try to verbalize my emotions in conversation, he reacts with everything from annoyance to sarcasm to out-and-out anger. E.G. when I mentioned yesterday that I was dealing with three particularly painful emotional blows in the past week alone, his response was to say "thanks for the guilt trip" and walk out the door. He is too caught up in his own head space to hear me out now, but I hope to show him my letter when the fog has lifted a little so we can talk everything through in more depth. His issues have taken the spotlight now, as they should...but mine have practically been forced off the stage, and that can't hold. I'm hoping that by postponing this conversation until he's medically better able to cope with it, I'm showing respect and sensitivity for his condition while still looking out for my own well-being. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-721774 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 03:48:34 +0000 Kari 721774@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, after we chatted the other night, I thought of something else that might help you (or, when he is in the right frame of mind to hear it, Corey.) One very wise thing that my doctor said to me (over a year ago at the worst crisis of my depression, when my relationship was also at the point of destruction over how I'd acted while depressed and the fact that I let it go on so long without being willing to get treatment) was her observation that I was coming to her with this perspective as if I could just will myself into being better, into not being depressed, into not having a chemical imbalance in my brain. I was beating myself up for being weak enough to slide into a deep depression after many years of being in a "well" state of mind. </p> <p>She said that I needed to take this situation, this illness, as seriously as a diagnosis of a heart defect or diabetes, because it was nearing the point of being life-threatening. And part of taking it seriously is realizing that it's NOT a moral failing or inability of willpower that I suffer from depression - that part is biological and out of my control - but what I can control is trying to take steps to treat and prevent it. That means taking an antidepressant for now (I've been back on them ever since), trying to address the factors that tend to worsen the depression (among other things this means getting regular exercise to build endorphins, taking a sleep aid so that I don't suffer from insomnia on top of it all, and using a <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=SAD+lamp&amp;rlz=1C1_____enUS487US487&amp;aq=f&amp;sugexp=chrome,mod=9&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8">SAD lamp</a> in fall and winter when I'm most negatively impacted by the lack of daylight.) It also means watching for signs and patterns of a depression coming on, and enlisting the help of my loved ones not only to be a source of support, but to help me recognize those signs too when I'm not able to see them myself. Part of the reason that my depression was so deep last time was because I ignored the warning signs, and ignored the observations of family members who had seen me go through it before and were worried about me.</p> <p>So far, that plan has been helping me to keep on an even keel ever since that low point. Even when I was deeply sad, frustrated, or stressed over tough situations, it was within the normal spectrum of emotions and not the dark, critical lows that come with a prolonged clinical depression.</p> <p>I'm so, so sorry that it's so rough right now. I'm thinking and praying for you and Corey. I was able to see him at his best when Celia and I met with the two of you for dinner, and it makes me so sad that he's in such pain - and I'm devastated by what you're going through, Michelle.</p> <p>I hope that you know how very much you are loved around here. I know it doesn't help make matters better at home, but our love is there nonetheless. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-ive-been-absent-my-relationship-is-on-the-rocks/page/2#post-721382 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 18:42:00 +0000 lynn 721382@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Michelle, I am so so sorry! You have already received more sound advice that I can offer so I will offer my thoughts and prayers. I don't know your religious beliefs but if you are Christian, I believe that God has a perfect plan for each of us and that while we often don't understand the journey, the destination is always His arms. He will provide what you need and in your case, that could include logistical solutions in regard to your living situation. Just ask Him. </p>