https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 09:24:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183914 Fri, 02 Apr 2021 08:55:06 +0000 Jenni NZ 2183914@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Synne most meanness is not here. In fashion magazines especially. I am away for Easter but I have quotes written in my journal from around 10 years ago from magazines when I was struggling with my self-esteem at the time. I think The Cat is also mainly referring to a different blog she reads.<br /> I have never felt the need to report a post here, but sometimes might just avoid the occasional poster for a few weeks. I love this place too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183912 Fri, 02 Apr 2021 07:36:50 +0000 Synne 2183912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Who are these mean people? And what exactly has been said? Why not be upfront and concrete about it? If there ever was to be an end to what you say you experience. There is also the report button. This forum doesn't have that many active members. To me each member is an integral part of the whole, which makes this place such a fun and interesting break from the real world. I find myself feeling like there are too few posts and too few updates here, and refreshing my browser way more than is healthy. I adore this place! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183812 Thu, 01 Apr 2021 19:18:46 +0000 Jenni NZ 2183812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My anger, Irina, comes from people being mean. It doesn’t happen a lot on here, but it can, and it certainly does in the world of fashion. Angie has a very kind tone but not everyone in fashion does.<br /> It’s the snobbery that can happen that gets me.<br /> I will just live with it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183797 Thu, 01 Apr 2021 17:03:46 +0000 Irina 2183797@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m trying to understand where is this anger coming from. Or how posting about one’s personal “mistakes “ brings the issue of fashion police.<br />I don’t encounter many women who would judge my fashion choices, at least to my face. But I was once told that I dress like a man. Which made me laugh, although it meant to offend. First of all, I only care about opinions of people I respect. Second, well, I wear a sort of uniform of pants/jeans and sweaters in the winter. And my husband wears similar clothes. So, it is true :)<br />I don’t regret my “personal style” of the past - wearing tighter fitted clothes in my forties or my love for color purple from 2007 to 2012. I loved it and this is what matters. There is nothing to “forgive “ myself for :)&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;I made mistakes in falling for random things and not carrying enough about my shopping choices. Like not researching fabric content and an environmental impact. Another one - not having a cohesive color palette or paying attention to proportions. Or loving something doesn’t mean I should buy it. Or settling and buying something that “doesn’t bring joy”</p> <p><div>I like to analyze successes and failures, for me it means I might learn something. There are some lucky women in the world that know what works for them and what doesn’t, they know it instinctively. I’m not one of them. I develop my style through leaning and making mistakes is a part of the process.</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183767 Thu, 01 Apr 2021 14:07:03 +0000 cat2 2183767@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey Jenni, I am late to this thread, but could not agree with you more, including the anger. I am on another site for professional women and the self<br /> -appointed fashion police will diss a recommended business-appropriate item of clothing as not being on trend, as if being on trend was the only permissible option. I have spent my professional life figuring out how to dress so as not to distract from my professional goals, and I view that as a success, but on this site as well I have gotten hammered for not chasing trends, not having a style, looking like a J Crew catalog, and horror of all horrors, dressing for a corporate environment. I think the self-appointed fashion police and the self-appointed creatives who want to diss any classic or professional style should take a step back and check their prejudices that fashion or creative are the only permissible style expressions. And don’t even get me started on the hostile threads about “snub nose blondes.” </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183693 Wed, 31 Mar 2021 22:59:39 +0000 Anonymous 2183693@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*meditating as I quietly swim lap after lap...and chuckling to myself as the speed demons stop to rest after just a few and eventually go out of the pool* :)</p> <p>Anyway- back to style mistakes! At least some of the things I put, like the SunIn fiasco, were things that affected me long term. It lead to constantly dyeing to keep the roots away, and fragile hair. My hair would probably be better now if I never processed it. Wearing cobalt in the 80s- not so much, it was the times and I learned the error of my ways. Uncomfy shoes, an itchy sweater, donate bin and a shopping lesson for the future. All part of the trial and error process. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183305 Mon, 29 Mar 2021 15:05:40 +0000 nemosmom 2183305@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What I took away from Angie's post was about "mistakes" as related to personal <u>style</u>, and how one defines it.&nbsp; What makes a person feel like themselves - sartorially speaking.&nbsp; I disagree with your assumption <i>that everything is fashion, that everyone is “doing fashion” all the time and that not doing it the right way is a mistake&nbsp; </i>but, the reality is, without some experimentation with clothing a person never figures out what works FOR THEM.&nbsp; It has nothing to do with rules being imposed by others.&nbsp; Or with swimming.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2183218 Sun, 28 Mar 2021 23:44:15 +0000 Sal 2183218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Talking about swimming, my husband has been swimming twice a week for about 8 years.&nbsp; He loves it but compared to other sports that he does, is not that great at it.&nbsp; We have a friend that is a coach who had been suggesting for ages that he spend the cash on a video and do some squads with him based on seeing him slogging away in the pool with not much improvement.</p> <p>Six weeks ago he took the plunge and got the analysis.&nbsp; There was one area he scored 0/5 - others were reasonable.&nbsp; Focussing on this area has improved his stroke, endurance and speed no end.&nbsp; Concrete results.</p> <p>So people do criticise your swimming....&nbsp; and in his case, taking the advice lead to better result.</p> <p>I don't consider the boring jeans fleece and sneakers when I was a Mum with young children a fashion mistake - nor the sometimes garish colour combinations I chose in the 1980s. Both were the right choices for the time.</p> <p>I do consider wearing a sleeveless sheath dress to a UK conference a mistake (everyone else was in a suit and I felt very out of place), and I regret wearing so many tunics and leggings and ballet flats - and trying to make them work- and never feeling that great in them.&nbsp; In both instances YLF feedback would have been really helpful to tell me what was appropriate, or what suited me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2182920 Sat, 27 Mar 2021 16:14:46 +0000 annagybe 2182920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Late to this.<br />So your example of khaki pants for working on a boat, that’s function clothing, borderline gear. &nbsp; And yeah tan cotton pants probably works for Florida, but unless it’s high summer, that won’t work on boats up here in the Pacific NW. I wear scrubs to work, that’s the antithesis of fashion; though there are more fashionable scrubs now (and the discussion of sexy scrubs is a whole nother thing).<br />Similar vein, I wouldn’t hike up here without a jacket, especially in the mountains. But that’s not fashion either, that’s gear for the situation.&nbsp;<br />I don’t consider these examples as fashion.<br />Also I really am scratching my head at the swimming stroke comparison; it doesn’t even work as a metaphor.<br />You come across as someone very confident in yourself. I’ve noticed you often ignore criticism. Honestly one of the best things about this forum is the give and take. You are so confident in your fashion decisions, that you hold on to clothing for decades, possibly because it was the best thing ever. &nbsp;<br />To err is human, and yeah I’ll admit to fashion mistakes myself. I think it is good to acknowledge mistakes, and to grow from them. Even to look back and laugh at yourself.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2182155 Thu, 25 Mar 2021 04:35:22 +0000 Sloper 2182155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>RachyLou </b>e<b></b>xpressed it very well:<b><br /><i></i><i></i></b></p> <p><i>Fashion Mistakes. It can mean things you’ve done that failed to achieve your goals.<br /></i><i></i><i></i><br />That is how I took the meaning of Angie's original post and the subsequent responses.&nbsp; Not OMG did I break hemline rules or "white after Labor Day" rules, or "is this out or is this in" rules etc. etc.</p> <p>Anyway, I started to think back about my own dressing "timeline" to see if I could come up with a response, and then felt a bit of a knee-jerk reaction - why is anything I ever did a mistake?&nbsp; (Only because I'm very hard on myself anyway in other aspects of life - I'm trying hard to find personal peace right now).&nbsp; So I decided it's not an exercise I wanted to spend time on. But by no means not a useless exercise for others.</p> <p>Sure, in retrospect I've spent too much $$ (for my own budget), or bought too much (for my own needs), or bought for an imaginary lifestyle, or wore unflattering shapes or colors - BUT I never ever felt it at the time.&nbsp; Lord knows the clothes and outfits I've loved!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181917 Wed, 24 Mar 2021 14:57:24 +0000 Anonymous 2181917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My definition of "fashion" is so broad, I can't think of an article of clothing that I've worn since I was conscious of wearing clothes that hasn't somehow been under that heading.</p> <p>If I don't wear it, or am uncomfortable wearing it, it's a "mistake". I wouldn't be able to make that call for someone else.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181825 Wed, 24 Mar 2021 04:32:41 +0000 slim cat 2181825@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Jenni NZ &nbsp;- I guess it took a while to get to the top spot and that affected the person &nbsp;in question - she may lost some of her softness along the way. Or alternatively she was always like that and felt that it's justified anyway. She is mean and very short with people that work for her ( and then she is all smiles at that special event with "important people" - faking it of course ). I think we all met people like that in a professional life.<br />I liked Tim Gunn as a kind but occasionally strict adviser/mentor on&nbsp;<br />Project Runway - my first reality show ( good memories and bad too ). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181824 Wed, 24 Mar 2021 04:20:39 +0000 rachylou 2181824@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>... like when Miranda calls Andi ‘the smart fat girl’... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181823 Wed, 24 Mar 2021 04:12:06 +0000 Jenni NZ 2181823@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha, maybe slim cat, I would have to look up the scene. But the Miranda Priestly character did behave like what I mean, in general. I remember the other scene where she bawls Andi out though about the cerulean and explains that what designers do affects what everyone wears for years. I truly get that. But do such people have to be so unkind about their knowledge? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181820 Wed, 24 Mar 2021 03:46:21 +0000 slim cat 2181820@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Jenni NZ - I agree with most things you've written. One difference is about that scene from that movie - I think the dress the designer was showcasing was specifically made for Miranda Priestly ( the red dress with a huge bow on the front ) and that was the unfortunate style that would not suit her personally. Her dislike was evident and swift - the pursed lips. Of course it's a movie and the reality could have been quite &nbsp;different.<br />I do hope that the things have changed now and we've learned to treat fashion much differently than before. <br />Wonder if Miranda Priestly would be doing lounge wear now ( like a lot of people do during WFH ) and some athletic wear as well ... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181746 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 21:17:35 +0000 Helena 2181746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jenny, I can really relate to what you are saying ... I have the same anger towards that sort of snobbery in general; it makes my skin crawl. </p> <p>Although I can't say I've ever experienced that feeling here at YLF, where I think Angie was well ahead of the curve in terms of her 'being on the side of the wearer philosophy', I am quite sure that attitude exists elsewhere in fashion (and elsewhere) and I have no time for it!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181742 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 21:08:34 +0000 Jenni NZ 2181742@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very good thread. Unfortunately there are many people in the fashion game who are particularly unkind. One of the first threads I wrote here in January 2017 was entitled “Are fashion magazines mean?” and I really felt they were. The whole premise of fashion leaders being able to glance at something and decide if something is “in” or out is necessarily putting their opinion as higher than everyone else’s thanks to their superior knowledge. ( An example is the scene, which I realise is fictional, in The Devil Wears Prada, where Miranda Priestly looks at one of the designer’s looks and just purses her lips or something and they very hurriedly take that look away.)<br /> Angie is very kind and doesn’t make us feel like we are useless unknowledgeable creatures. I would say that there is the occasional poster on here that can be a little like that, however. There are many people who know a great deal more than you and I, and also can remember, as Angie can also do, what decades or eras certain items belong to. Obviously I have knowledge in my particular professional field and very much don’t look down on people who don’t understand things about illness, anatomy etc, I just try to explain away so that they can, and I get a lot of gratitude for that. But some fashion people just dismiss the hoi polloi who don’t understand. I dislike them strongly for that. Why is their opinion so much better? And give them a decade or two and their opinion will change?<br /> ( I suddenly realise I have quite a lot of anger about this!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181694 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 19:06:52 +0000 Helena 2181694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Roseandjoan, well said, yes ... Lessons learned is how I understood the point too ... Not, as Sarah says, the judgement of the fashion police! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181679 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 18:37:51 +0000 SarahD8 2181679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, you are making me think about how mad I was when a fellow student at my high school came up to me when I was swimming laps at our local rec center and offered to give me some pointers on improving my stroke. I was there to move my body and because I find swimming laps to be meditative, not to ~~achieve/compete~~ and it really ticked me off to think that someone was watching me with a critical eye. I seethe lo these many decades later!</p> <p>Like others here though I took the "fashion mistakes" idea in a gentler direction. I thought about it more in terms of "when/how did I go astray in my efforts to develop my style," or "what lessons have I learned about my style." Not an invitation to feel shame about when I might have been cited for infractions by the Fashion Police. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181657 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 17:40:23 +0000 rachylou 2181657@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One phrase different topics: Fashion Mistakes. It can mean things you’ve done that failed to achieve your goals... or assuming everyone is in the Great Fashion Game and has the same goal. And the thing is, one can become confused about whether or not one is, themself, in the Great Game.</p> <p>Peanut gallery comment: my eighth grade PE teacher did in fact flunk my breaststroke </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181634 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 16:23:45 +0000 Echo 2181634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a PP said, dressing in ways unrelated to fashion, or dressing for the job, don't count. I think the exercise was to look at times we may have felt we were being fashionable and why that did or didn't work for us. Indeed, I think Angie's point was to assess our comfort levels with things and to be true to ourselves and our feelings. If that means wearing black or khaki, so be it, and that isn't a mistake. It isn't about criticizing one's past, but about being true to oneself in the future. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181631 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 16:12:35 +0000 RoseandJoan 2181631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it is more of a lessons learned rather than a mistake or faux-pas, for example, I am more concerned about the carbon footprint of my purchases and fabrics than I was ten years ago. I could choose to feel shame about my past buying habits or I can choose to celebrate the progress I have made. I prefer to do the latter, however, when looked at objectively I have made mistakes and the realisation has led to positive change. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181630 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 16:02:05 +0000 Barbara Diane 2181630@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think mostly about style, not fashion. I suppose others who are more fashionable might think that I am not, and occasionally that critical voice that agrees appears unbidden in my head. But mostly my “mistakes” are purchasing mistakes that happen when I let the fake-rational voice inside my head ignore the useful voice/intuition. </p> <p>Other purchasing mistakes occur when I test my boundaries. Both my most loved and worn and my least worn items can come from this. So, I am more self forgiving with this category.</p> <p>Being on YLF has also both given me confidence to try a silhouette earlier and, through constant exposure, adjusted my eye to silhouettes that initially looked “off” to me. </p> <p>Mostly, learning about style has helped me pick clothes that suit me, and work together to form a wardrobe that works for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181621 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 15:02:36 +0000 Synne 2181621@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For a long time I thought dressing well (aka looking good) was a money issue. Then I realized it wasn't about the money, maybe it was about fit? Then that didn't help either. I could still feel and look like cr*p in (relatively) expensive clothes that fit well. Then WHAT IS IT ABOUT? That's when I ended up here. </p> <p>Almost three years later I have learned a lot, helping me closer to looking and feeling good, which is my main approach to and sole reason for interest in dressing and "fashion". Of course I could probably feel and look good if I had the body of a 22-year old Brazilian super model and wore whatever, but this is about me and my real life. Now I know about tried and true almost mathematical approaches to style like "body ID" and "seasonal color". I learn everyday, from my own mistakes, my "wins", observing others and reflecting on big and small topics with others here on the forum. </p> <p>What have you learned, would you say? How has your paradigm shifted, if at all? Do you feel you dress better now then before? How so, then? I'm asking to challenge you a little bit, because I know you like a good challenge! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181608 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 13:52:28 +0000 Helena 2181608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FI, I agree with you, and fwiw I don't see any clash between your points and the idea of reflecting on our fashion mistakes.</p> <p>Like you, I don't count among my mistakes things like wearing yoga pants for three years straight when I was chasing toddlers. That was dressing for the job, and it was not a mistake, even though it wasn't particularly stylish or fashionable!</p> <p>I count among my mistakes those things that I have done <i>on my personal style journey</i> that did not further me along the path (or, more accurately, they have, but ONLY because I've reflected on them and learned from them). Those will look different for me than they will for you, or Angie, or anyone else.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also agree that if you (or anyone) is wearing what makes you happy and what expresses what you want to express, then it is not a mistake, regardless of whether I or anyone else likes it, agrees with it, etc. I would not dye my hair acid green and think it's terribly unflattering, but I don't doubt for a second that Billie Eilish is making exactly the statement she wants to make. Ergo, no mistake there (although, again from a learning perspective, if one is studying hair colours and how to affect the skin, one might evaluate her 'mistake' for the purpose of that fashion tool - but that is not her problem!!)</p> <p>All that to say, I think one can evaluate one's mistakes, within one's own context, priorities, etc. in a way that does not pre-suppose we are always and everywhere trying to do fashion as it is defined by someone else. My game, my rules, and only on that basis, my mistakes, ultimately. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-i-don%e2%80%99t-make-fashion-mistakes#post-2181570 Tue, 23 Mar 2021 10:37:32 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2181570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This little rant began as a response to Helena’s post, which I think goes as far as one can go towards dismantling the idea of “fashion mistakes” without blowing the whole thing up. Then I realized that she didn’t ask for my pyrotechnics, so I’m copy/pasting it over here. </p> <p>I understand that looking back on our “fashion mistakes” is supposed to be about forgiving ourselves. I’d like to back up a step and remove that frame entirely. Is this a fashion blog? Yes? Is my participation an indication that I’m interested in fashion now? Logically, yes. That’s what I’m doing now, at this point in my life. Why I want to look more critically at the concept of “fashion mistakes” that everyone has made in the past is that it assumes that everything is fashion, that everyone is “doing fashion” all the time and that not doing it the right way is a mistake.</p> <p>I agree that letting ourselves be pressured into thinking we ought to dress a way that makes us uncomfortable is a failure of some sort, maybe a boundaries fail. But if dressing in all black or wearing red hats with your crew makes you happy, no matter what your coloring or other traits, that is not a failure of any kind. It is joining up some part of yourself to other people. That is living and exploring parts of yourself and the world that are different things than fashion. </p> <p>We don’t talk about “swimming mistakes” and criticize peoples’ butterfly form or what kind of flip turn they choose to do. Some people are surfing, some are showering, some watering the lawn, and we entirely accept that these ways of interacting with water are not simply bad swimming form. I love to swim Individual Medley, and to train for it even if there is no race on my calendar, but I will not tell you that sipping your drink on the pool deck is improper backstroke. I don’t even tell the people sharing my lane with me that slogging through steady-state cardio laps is inefficient and unlikely to bring them results, because *I don’t know the results they want*. They might not be doing competitive swimming at that moment. </p> <p>For myself, now, I want to present myself well in a way that others can see who I am and relate to me; that’s why I’m here on YLF. I’ve chosen at this point in my life to learn about fashion and to dress in a way that is simpatico with current trends, and I appreciate Angie sharing her deep knowledge and interaction with other people in doing this. I sure appreciate the hive mind confirming that I don’t need to spend €218 on a bikini! But looking at the khaki-heavy vibe of my work clothes for a few years in the early 2000s, I don’t see a fashion Fauxpas. I was focused on other parts of the pie (or, to stay consistent with the metaphor, I was hanging onto a tow rope, learning to pull up out of the water), not trying to do fashion and failing. I’ve since decided that isn’t a necessary part of my professional self, and have stepped away from the khaki without any regret or self-recrimination for having worn it. </p> <p>Instead forgiving fashion “mistakes”, how about we accept that you can’t time your dolphin kick incorrectly if you aren’t in the water, and that even if you are in the water, you might be there to take a bath? Granted, there are some people here who have been in the fashion game their whole lives, and who recognize mistakes in what they’ve done. They’ve told me to butt out of their conversations and I generally do, for the most part. But the assumptions that we all make fashion mistakes, that we’ve all always been trying to do fashion, and that what we wore for whatever reasons is liable to our internal fashion police is unnecessarily judgmental and not an exercise I care to join in. </p>