https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 02:21:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2009067 Sat, 02 Mar 2019 01:12:19 +0000 rachylou 2009067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cardiff girl, it’s like my boss once said to me, ‘You ride horses? You don’t look like you ride horses.’ Lol. However, I do look really stumpy in tweed. Lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2008879 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 19:51:47 +0000 Cardiff girl 2008879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Whos,this a deep thread but very interesting.l agree that we send out messages by how we dress whether we intend to or not but I also think that people are so much more than the clothes they wear and it can be foolish to judge a person solely on this basis(not that any of us YLF er s would do that of course).l always dress like me as I can do no other however what I choose to wear on a particular day has many influences some profound,some mundane.To be judged solely on this basis is like judging someone on a photo graph,you can not know the whole person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2008817 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 17:50:58 +0000 rachylou 2008817@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, FashIntern... another joke of mine... since I’m a hipster... What do you call a group of hipsters? ... An Embarrassment! Hahaha!</p> <p>Rosee... I agree. The judgement thing is a tricky one. You will learn something about a person from their clothes. You maybe should consider what you’ve learned before you get in their car with them alone. But you maybe also should think twice about calling down scorn upon them. I’m reminded of a woman who once quit on me in the middle of a shift at the bakery. She’d complain to the big boss about coworkers who ‘talked to bums in the street.’ As we’re a bakery, well, this is something we do, give ‘bums on the street’ something to eat. And the irony is, she’d go to church and work the food pantry, and she’d give away bakery product designated for sale for free to cute guys. I don’t know, maybe try to at least be consistent and fair... mercy! She was a winner... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2008752 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 16:33:41 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2008752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div><i>everyone there was in Levi’s and little round granny glasses, including myself<br /></i></div><div><i>L</i>ol! Absolutely agree with you and Le Ped that that's a nightmare. I suppose that's part of why I don't it when people are eager to get "the latest thing", especially when they say it's something they wouldn't normally wear.<br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2008599 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 12:20:15 +0000 Bijou 2008599@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An interesting thread and I agree with Fashintern that we have seem many stellar looks on the forum this week. When people dress in a way that reflects the inner person, it becomes so much more than just clothes.</p> <p>@Gigi, I like your new tough girl tops. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2008489 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 05:18:14 +0000 rosee 2008489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a great thread Rachylou. Very good points by many above - I wish for this once there was a like button on each of them.<br />I don't really have much to add myself as I am still figuring out how to put my ideas in words. I guess there is an instinctive level to this - where you just know if you are comfortable being represented by what you are wearing or if you are not. Style does change over time for a person but I think many people still have a common thread that runs through their style over the course of time. I am not very much into labels (preppy, punk, boho, etc.) but I guess they can be helpful in conveying an idea. But I do agree with others above that that to judge a person by their style is not that helpful. People are full of surprises. It can however give an impression to the observer and we need to be ok with the impression we are giving, because whether we like it or not, it will probably happen. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007696 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 23:16:34 +0000 Gigi 2007696@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To give you an example of what I'm talking about, I've been dealing with some unpleasant things in my life (creating anger and frustration), and as a result, I felt a bit like being a bada@@ and adding some "tough girl" to my style. So I bought a couple of tees that are a little different and read "tough girl" to me. So I do go by interior feeling; it's just that the interior feelings might change quite a bit, and I try to keep up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007662 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 22:45:58 +0000 rachylou 2007662@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That’s really interesting, Gigi. Clothing as a channel gate. I have to meditate on this. I dress by interior feel to a great extent, and then simply live with the visual result... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007645 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 22:24:09 +0000 Gigi 2007645@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've read only a few of the responses so far, including&nbsp;<b>Joy</b>'s with the My Little Pony and assorted regalia. OMG.</p> <p>This question has made me think a little bit. In my case, I think that I dress in a certain way that's somewhat reactionary against ways that I *used* to dress. I am working on developing other personality traits in myself, and that naturally plays out in my dressing. So anything tomboy or preppy or sloppy is not my friend, because that's how I used to dress. So I'm trying to open up new avenues for myself, and experimenting with dressing in different ways helps with that. If I feel a particular emotion inside that I want to express, I might buy a piece of clothing that seems to resonate with that emotion, and that creates a kind of "this is me" feeling.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007630 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 21:57:22 +0000 rachylou 2007630@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh gosh, that brings back a moment in college where I DID go to a friend’s poetry reading. Walked in, and everyone there was in Levi’s and little round granny glasses, including myself. Like a horror movie... what’s you can become anonymous... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007619 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 21:43:38 +0000 LaPed 2007619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, I agree that the whole "me" thing is very complicated. I'm only ever presenting a certain side of myself to any given audience, and each day I have to ask myself which side it's gonna be. So, I'd never wear a black beret to a poetry reading. Because -- eye roll --predictable is the worst. I always feel a little out of sorts when something "me" comes into vogue and suddenly I'm presenting as a trendy person without meaning to (every prep's worst nightmare!).&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007578 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 21:04:23 +0000 rachylou 2007578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Julie that is so true. Some times a thing seems to have it all, but when you put it on... </p> <p>Also, I frankly have a lot of things that are ‘me’... but only sometimes do they work. The stars have to align, right weather, right activity, right location. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007384 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:40:43 +0000 JulieJohn 2007384@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Provocative post and comments. I don't even know if an item is "me" sometimes until I put it on. Some perfectly acceptable items just feel inauthentic, and that's yucky. Hmmm. Makes me think of some things hanging in my closet that I never reach for, never get compliments on, and am now seriously thinking about purging thanks to this discussion, Rachylou.<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007269 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 10:49:28 +0000 Anonymous 2007269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn't realize stuffed animals ever had a gender! I don't look at them that close....<br /> I guess you're right. It did seem like the preppiest people I knew were not as innocent as they looked. Many were quite rotten!<br /> And yep, its fun to be underestimated Should've seen the look on the security guard at works face when I said I was off to kickboxing class! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007237 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 08:24:45 +0000 rachylou 2007237@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, prep is subversive. As The Preppy Handbook points out, we’re talking the original purveyors of androgyny. Begins in the nursery with gender neutral stuffed animals. The Preppy Handbook said it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you/page/2#post-2007195 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 05:08:40 +0000 Sal 2007195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess the secret rebel dressed in preppy or conservative clothes feels comfortable that way.&nbsp; Whereas someone who thought they should wear a conservative work look but didn't feel right in it, can look or feel like an imposter.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007184 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 04:53:49 +0000 Gaylene 2007184@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think preppy has always been subversive—those prim collars and pleated skirts are excellent ways to camouflage a rebellious nature. No point in letting people know what you are up to until you are good and ready to make your move. </p> <p>One of the reasons I’m aching to have my hair go completely gray is to have younguns think of me as a stereotypical little old lady. It’s such fun to see their consternation when I decide it’s time reveal my single malt side. Like Sal says, we ought to be cautious when we judge someone by their style and appearance. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007181 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 04:52:51 +0000 rachylou 2007181@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No clothes don’t tell you everything, only a little. It’s weird, tho, when you are something, yet unconvincing dressed as such... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007170 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 04:26:12 +0000 Cee 2007170@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm imagining Johnny Rotten in a pastel poloshirt with a sweater tied around his shoulders now, Suz :D</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007157 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 03:43:38 +0000 Suz 2007157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, prep can be punk! Tartans and kilt pins can be worn in a variety of ways...</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007134 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 03:07:46 +0000 Sal 2007134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a fairly broad comfort level with clothing in terms of colours, silhouettes, body con vs looser etc....but there are items that feel off or not authentic to me - Western belts and clothing, moto styles, frills and bows usually, and nautical looks...I like these looks but they don't feel like me at all.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I do know people that take pride in being underestimated - wealthy males who like to wear sports shorts and workboots for example.&nbsp; I think we can make the wrong assumptions if we judge someone entirely by their style and appearance.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007133 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 03:06:31 +0000 rachylou 2007133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, that would be interesting, Staysfit, to try a look that you know is really not you... I’m not sure I have the skills to even attempt Big Rich Texas (the reality show from yesteryear)... would be a hoot, tho! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007132 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 03:03:54 +0000 rachylou 2007132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, the punk-prep connection... says so right there in The Preppy Handbook. It’s my cover story!</p> <p>That’s so funny about the single-malt woman. I do also like my whiskey neat... and it does put a lass in an interesting social position... ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007131 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 03:02:53 +0000 Anonymous 2007131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm I've worn dissonant things in the past under duress-too big company t shirt, too big work uniform (friend said I looked "like a dork"-she was right!). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007129 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 02:55:52 +0000 Staysfit 2007129@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An interesting read here but I’m too tired to add anything intelligent other than thanks for the thought provoking thread Rachy. </p> <p>I wonder what would happen if we purposely tried to wear outfits that felt dissonant, or maybe with one or two somewhat subtle dissonant elements———for example I would feel odd wearing a western belt. Would it look odd to other people if I wore one? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007116 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 02:31:25 +0000 Anonymous 2007116@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You lot crack me up!<br /> Now I didn't realize preppy was rebellious, since I'm it's polar opposite-do tell... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007093 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 01:57:58 +0000 Gaylene 2007093@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*laughing* </p> <p>Well, if it’s any consolation, Rachylou, I recently had a new acquaintance comment that I looked like a woman who drinks single malt scotch instead of wine. I’m still trying to process that one—especially since I’ll admit to being familar with my highland tipples! Maybe it’s those cashmere sweaters I wear with my jeans? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2007057 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 00:43:34 +0000 rachylou 2007057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That’s true what you think about someone else probably says more about you than them. But you know, a lot of people ask me if I smoke weed, lol... purple hair... so I mean, I navigate the street ok, but yeah, that’s a no. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2006990 Tue, 26 Feb 2019 22:51:53 +0000 Gaylene 2006990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>“Meaning resides in the person, not in the word” is a communication axiom, especially when we are talking about labels. So, maybe the “opposite” resides in the dissonance of the observer and not in the internal state of the person being discussed? Whether or not the person being observed is aware of, or receptive, to feedback, to say nothing of how feedback cues can be filtered, altered, and interpreted, is also a minefield of subjectivity. Short answer is that my feelings of disconnect between what I think a person “is”, and whether or not her clothes align with her “true” self, are always saying more about me than about her. </p> <p>I’m actually more inclined to go with Gryffin in focusing how the the nonverbal signals given off by my clothing affect my interactions with others. If I’m happy with the assumptions and reactions I’m getting then I feel comfortable in my clothing choices. If I sense a disconnect, then I can choose to adjust my external nonverbal signals to manipulate a different reaction—or I can reconcile myself to the dissonance and stay the course. </p> <p>But I’m not sure what any of this has to do with my “real” self—or even what the term means. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/why-do-you-think-the-real-you#post-2006978 Tue, 26 Feb 2019 22:41:14 +0000 rachylou 2006978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good point. Quite hard to know what you’re looking at lots of the time.</p> <p>I’m quite contrary. I want people to know I’m old, but the sort of clothing that will make them call me m’am depresses me. Lol. </p>