YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Who's the naysayer? ;-)

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Who's the naysayer? ;-) https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer-- Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 04 Apr 2026 21:01:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--/page/2#post-1162800 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 20:36:03 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1162800@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've also found this conversation interesting. One of the things that I value so much about YLF is how we can share constructive criticism in a kind and encouraging way. That's often lacking in female groups, as we've been taught "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". That might be the best tack in some situations but I think it's counterproductive when people are explicitly asking for honest feedback, as they are when they post a thread with the yay/nay option turned on. rachylou on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--/page/2#post-1162679 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 18:09:47 +0000 rachylou 1162679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just voted *nay,* but I'm not naying anything in your post, Janet. I just didn't want anyone to think I was a pollyanna. Hehe. Thought I'd say, tho, YLF'ers are lovely, cheerful, encouraging people. I suspect explanations of nay votes often show up as encouragement in a particular direction. And to be honest, I don't know that I've ever seen anything bad on YLF... or frankly IRL. Except things like dd's ratty Sponge Bob pjs... Janet on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--/page/2#post-1162463 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:10:49 +0000 Janet 1162463@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for that, Traci. I've been a lone dissenter sometimes too -- and sometimes I just hold my tongue because its obvious I'm not getting something everyone else does, or it's a personal aesthetic that I don't resonate with, and I don't want to hurt feelings so I hold my tongue. But in that case I generally don't vote either, if that option is given. This has actually been a more constructive thread for me than I expected. It actually got me thinking about feedback and approval and why it's so important to many of us. Traci on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--/page/2#post-1162449 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:57:01 +0000 Traci 1162449@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's possible that I've been guilty of this in the past. I always figured the vote option was there for people to get more opinions rather than just the ones who could write out an explanation.  I don't see the purpose in the voting option if we're supposed to vote and post every time.  For this reason, I almost never use the poll option.  I assume if you post a poll you are more interested in a black and white answer rather than a full on analysis.  Do some of the features automatically assign a yay/nay poll? It's not easy being the lone dissenter around here, either.  I've been the lone "yes" to a post asking if something accentuates a feature they were trying to not accentuate and then noticed later that my response was mentioned several days later in an unrelated post.  It made me wonder if our analysis sometimes stays with the poster longer than we intend.  In this case I wouldn't have noticed the accentuation of the feature if it hadn't been an outright question, but when I looked for it I did see the imbalance.  I later felt like I had added to that poster's self consciousness of that feature and decided I'd rather keep my nays to myself, especially when in the minority. lyn67 on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--/page/2#post-1162444 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:48:00 +0000 lyn67 1162444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm...I use to comment(actually saying  yay or nay(with/without explanations)) but think I never voted as I didn't really knew tabs were there-how weird is that???? LOL!!! I realised only now that  there they  are  at the beginning of the post, but it's quite difficult for me to see white on a very light grey background and  even if would have seen them, sometimes I don't have the time to go back to the tittle to vote, so maybe if only tabs would be at the end of the post...or so...dunno:-(. April on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--/page/2#post-1162440 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:41:22 +0000 April 1162440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Since coming back to the forum, I haven't caught on to the yay/nay thing yet.  Sorry about that -- I haven't voted for anything yet, but will start.   Anonymous on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162405 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 10:50:54 +0000 Anonymous 1162405@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Heh, add me to the list of those who often comment but forget to vote! Anonymous on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162398 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 10:02:55 +0000 Anonymous 1162398@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Nay, it isn't me either, though like Suz, I often reply and then forget to vote! Sorry. I also sometimes pop back If I realise my mistake and pop my vote up. Suz on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162283 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:59:22 +0000 Suz 1162283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am the one who springs into action at the prospect of a yay/nay battle, writes a long response --- and then forgets to vote! Sometimes I sheepishly go back and cast my ballot, after the fact. <insert embarrassed face> Lyn D. on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162252 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:33:16 +0000 Lyn D. 1162252@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Nay, it isn't me- I like to explain, but come to think of it I would rather vote Yay and contribute or say nothing and not hit the Nay at all (!) catgirl on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162241 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:23:22 +0000 catgirl 1162241@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I always try to state why I vote a certain way, either way. Sometimes the question is ambiguous as to what the vote means: for example, "I think this looks bad, should I keep it or not?" Does nay mean no, it doesn't look bad? Or no, you shouldn't keep it? Or yes, you shouldn't keep it? KWIM? Y/N Good post, Janet! Janet on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162237 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:17:35 +0000 Janet 1162237@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ And please, y'all, I'm not trying to stir anyone up or make new rules. I'm just curious, and joking around a bit too. Janet on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162234 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:15:51 +0000 Janet 1162234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Anna, I'm with Diana. I always value your eye -- especially when it differs from the prevailing opinion. I enjoy your perspective. Whenever I have an opinion on something that is not a "yay looks great," and I feel moved to give any kind of feedback, I try to figure out what is not agreeing with my eye and make an attempt to explain it. unfrumped on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162228 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:12:45 +0000 unfrumped 1162228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think one has to just take a deep breather on what people ought or ought not do, outside of true badness. Too many rules and not enough time leads to less interaction, less diversity and even more selection bias. It's a forum. Diana on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162223 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:08:03 +0000 Diana 1162223@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm, I never vote either  without writing a comment.  (And sometimes I comment but forget to vote)  But that's just me.  I usually turn the voting option on in my yay/nay posts because I feel like some people are more likely to be honest if they don't have to explain/out themselves.   By the way, I voted Nay on this post because no, I'm not the naysayer that doesn't explain! Anna, I really appreciate your differing opinions, by the way.  And as far as I can tell, you always take the time to explain why.   Phatgranny on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162219 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:05:39 +0000 Phatgranny 1162219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree that it seems Annagybe sees things differently and 'zigs' when the majority of us are zagging.  When I view her way of dressing herself, I question her frame of reference for style many of us aspire to. deb on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162218 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:04:06 +0000 deb 1162218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree with your statement and wish the Nays would explain. Is there a way to see who voted without commenting? I hope I was not the one on Suzs' post. annagybe on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162198 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 02:46:37 +0000 annagybe 1162198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am often a dissenting voice on many things here. I guess I just see things differently. I find myself often zigging when everyone else is zagging. I try to explain it tactfully, but sometimes I can't. I feel that I have a good eye. But I wonder since I dress myself so differently if people discount my opinion. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162138 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 01:38:08 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1162138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Uh oh, I think I might have been the nay on Susie's post! And I don't think I wrote a comment. Sorry about that, I didn't mean to be unhelpful. For me, it was a question of personal taste - I think super structured bags look strange when they're that small, and the long strap looked out of proportion on Susie. But I know that other people don't mind that look and so I guess I didn't see the point in commenting when I knew that most liked it a lot. I suppose I shouldn't have voted, either, at that point. I guess it was the middle of a busy day and I just didn't think about it for long, just pressed the nay and went on to the next thing. For me, though, one of the strengths of the yay/nay format is to let people express their preference without having to identify themselves or explain if they don't want to. It lets people give a snap second reaction without having to explain it, you know? JAileen on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162103 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 00:54:32 +0000 JAileen 1162103@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I usually express an opinion but don't vote. Sorry if that messes with your head. Echo on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162097 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 00:44:30 +0000 Echo 1162097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I often comment, but I rarely vote yay or nay. I hardly ever notice the vote option; I guess I will look more carefully and vote in the future! Caro in Oz on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162041 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 23:18:49 +0000 Caro in Oz 1162041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't think there is any point in voting nay if you don't give a reason - it just isn't helpful imo. Sometimes the reason is "I'm not sure why I'm a nay, but I am sorry or I like x outfit of yours much more" :) carter on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162032 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 23:08:29 +0000 carter 1162032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I noticed iit on Susie's post as well and tried to find the objection in the comments. I'm a yay! I think positive feedback is uber fantastic, but sometimes the critical (nicely done) can be the most helpful. Janet on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1162001 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:40:18 +0000 Janet 1162001@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene, I totally get what you're saying, and of course everyone who visits here is free to say as much or as little as they like! I would not want anyone to feel like they *have* to do anything. So this thread is mostly tongue-in-cheek, but I do have to wonder when there is a dissenting opinion. If someone feels strongly enough to hit the Nay button, there must be a reason why. I for one would never be offended (unless someone says something personally disrespectful) by someone saying "it's not the most flattering cut on you," or "have you tried a size up?" or "how about a different color?" If the point of voting yay or nay is to be helpful to the OP, then it seems a vote against the grain without even a hint of explanation isn't terribly helpful. Or is it just me who feels that way? I'm just curious. Maybe someone just likes messing with all of us by throwing a spanner in the works. Shirley on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1161992 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:35:40 +0000 Shirley 1161992@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hahaha.  I do think you should say something either way.  But, I will be ok if someone just votes. fuzzylogic on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1161990 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:33:13 +0000 fuzzylogic 1161990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Giggle giggle, Janet- quite possibly! All in the name of scientific investigation.... Janet on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1161987 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:31:41 +0000 Janet 1161987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, Susie! Yours was one of the threads that sparked my question. I don't think it's a faux pas at all to express and opinion and not vote. Well, at least not here. When it comes to politics, I think more people could stand to go the other way around. Gaylene on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1161986 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:31:38 +0000 Gaylene 1161986@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree in theory it would be nice if everyone took a minute to provide an explanation--including the yays as well as the nays. I wonder, though, if expecting the nayers to provide explanations might just keep them quiet? Explaining a negative vote is tricky because it's all too easy to inadvertently offend someone if words are misinterpreted. At least pushing a button signals that there are some dissenters. cheryl on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1161985 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:31:14 +0000 cheryl 1161985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm a yay vote. I also like an explanation lol. Susie on "Who's the naysayer? ;-)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whos-the-naysayer--#post-1161982 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 22:25:34 +0000 Susie 1161982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Too funny because I just thought the same thing a day or two ago! I don't often use the yay/ nay but I did for my K/R post about the Brahmin bag. There was a nay vote and I was looking for a reason.