https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1 Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 18:51:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271827 Sat, 07 Jun 2014 01:26:49 +0000 Debra 1271827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya, people who say mean things are the ones with the problems, you are beautiful and don't allow anyone to make you think otherwise x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271527 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 20:14:23 +0000 Neel 1271527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK wait .... Who on earth says something so stupid to a girl I believe is very beautiful??!! Ramya ... You know toxic people should have no place in your life or heart. What's wrong with the world?! I am boiling for you .... Hang on there girl. Mwah xo</p> <p>Now let me read the other posts. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271324 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 16:44:40 +0000 Mona 1271324@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry that you are not feeling great, ramya. I totally understand how other people's negative comments can hurt deep. Hang in there! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271315 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 16:31:49 +0000 kkards 1271315@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>sometimes there are no words....so just know that we here at YLF are sending you a giant HUG! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271284 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 15:56:10 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1271284@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya - I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time, both with the stress and health related issues, and with your self esteem. For someone to say something so hurtful at a time when you are feeling vulnerable is just inexcusable IMHO. I don't understand hurtful people at all.</p> <p>As someone who has struggled with her weight for the past 20 years due to a chronic health issue, I can completely relate to how it affects self esteem. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at myself in such a negative way, even to the point where I would say mean things to myself OUT LOUD. It has taken me a long time to like myself and much of that has come from realizing I DESERVE to like myself, if that makes sense. One time I had a co-worker from a past job say "you'd be so much prettier if you lost some weight" and I promptly replied with "you have no idea if my weight issues are related to a health problem or not so maybe you should keep that type of comment to yourself". She never apologized but I felt better for saying something.</p> <p>We are <b>NOT</b> our looks. We are <b>NOT</b> our weight. We <b>ARE</b> our souls and our hearts. Who I am as a person, how I treat others, how I approach and deal with life's curveballs, how I behave in my relationships, how I'm raising my son - this is what's important to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271018 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 10:52:45 +0000 Astrid 1271018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Having met you in person I can honestly say you're amazing! Don't let others talk you down. And don't be mad at yourself for feeling angry - that comment was not alright and you have the right to be. </p> <p>I'm sorry about the health issues, I hope you're feeling better soon! Sending you a big virtual hug. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1271001 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 10:14:20 +0000 Ingunn 1271001@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya, you are not conventionally pretty, but you are&nbsp;extraordinary beautiful. Remember that. Conventionally pretty is boring. Frankly, I can't figure out what those conventionally people really look like. No character, no charisma. Not like you at. all.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm sorry that you have health issues, and I hope you'll feel back to normal very quickly. Big hug!</p> <p>That person is not worthy of being a friend of yours. Not even an acquaintance.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1270985 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 09:11:00 +0000 ramya 1270985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks every one. There is so much wisdom here. <br />Gaylene!!! Love it!! Lets take over NY :D</p> <p>Ornella: You put my anger in perspective. That was what was bothering me. I didn't ask his opinion. I didn't&nbsp; need his view on my looks. And his views shouldn't matter to me. But I felt betrayed. I am more than my looks. I think I am more annoyed at myself for letting his opinion matter.What you said about about good to bad ratio is true to me too. I </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1270978 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 08:35:40 +0000 Ornella 1270978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Ramya, I wrote a huge response which turned out into preaching and deleted it.</p> <p>I am so, so angry!</p> </p> <p>The bottom line is - you have your set of values, which you obviously share with your husband. The moments like the one in Amsterdam are what living with someone special are about and to be honest, not everyone experiences that. Knowing that you DO have&nbsp;that level of closeness and appreciation from someone who IS&nbsp;special should rule out every other 'close personal' because they see things from their limited perspectives and do not know your day to day life, nor what you face. IF that should matter at all. Comments about what you look like are such gross stepping into your privacy that I don't know how to tackle it. How does that affect that 'close personal' personally to allow himself such indiscretion?!? And what is conventional beauty anyway, what makes him an expert in the area&nbsp;and more importantly - why should we look conventionally beautiful? To attract the mate? To be a decor in our close personal's lives?&nbsp;</p> <p>You know what, on top of being beautiful your way, I admire your attitude immensely. You started a life in a culture so new to you, that people can sometimes lose from sight how difficult it is to get on your feet anywhere new, let alone so new!&nbsp;It's not about unpacking a suitcase and getting on with the life at a different location - it's getting all those mundane things done and familiar with&nbsp;from registering at the local council, learning how the public transport system works, how locals behave in the shops, do they queue at the bust stops, the climate, what to wear in the new to you weather&nbsp;(yes, that too!)...&nbsp;but on top of it all you travel, you are getting to know Europe, grab the life and make the most of it all. Don't forget that.</p> <p>As humans we're wired to hear negative comments much louder than positive ones. I once heard we need 5 good things to offset 1 bad, in my case the ratio lis probably worse, but facing nasty comments like this&nbsp;is always a&nbsp;good time to remind ourselves what, who and why something or someone matters.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1270926 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 06:05:23 +0000 Adelfa 1270926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have no idea what he's talking about. I hope your health gets better soon!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1/page/2#post-1270923 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 06:02:11 +0000 Jeanie 1270923@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs to you. &nbsp;Sorry that people say stupid things. &nbsp;You are beautiful. &nbsp;I hope you will be feeling like posting soon. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270895 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 04:42:35 +0000 deb 1270895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>((ramya)) Hang in there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270825 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 03:09:34 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1270825@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for coming back here to the forum! <br />That's really disappointing for a supposed friend to be so thoughtless toward you. I hope you get some relief from the work stress and that you get back to your healthy self soon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270716 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 00:59:34 +0000 Aida 1270716@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Already great advice above, add me to the chorus. *BIG HUGS* and I hope the health issues get sorted out right quick. I was going to suggest the same as Texstyle, definitely both conditions worth talking to your doctor about (especially as generally they are not particularly difficult to test for). Shrug off what the friend said if you can, what does he know :p </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270673 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 00:12:45 +0000 Echo 1270673@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If there were a parade with all the women who have been disparaged because of their looks, they would call it the Million Woman March. Seriously, I think many people must think that women ought to be cartoons instead of individuals. The last time I checked, you were a beautiful woman. As the old saying goes, "Beauty is only skin deep; ugly is to the bone." This person close to you is dangerously ugly.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270662 Fri, 06 Jun 2014 00:02:48 +0000 Caro in Oz 1270662@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You reminded me of the quote, "With friends like that who needs enemies?"<br />Hang in there &amp; what Gaylene said </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270655 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 23:55:23 +0000 Glory 1270655@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya I am so glad you posted - we can wrap you up in a giant YLF hug!&nbsp;<br />It is hard to take a hit like that from a friend? at any time but especially more difficult when you are feeling down.&nbsp;<br />Surround yourself with the people who love you and cherish you! xoxoxoxo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270634 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 23:29:21 +0000 Gaylene 1270634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm thinking there needs to be a reaaaally big tent to hold a gathering of all of us who are "not conventionally pretty". </p> <p>Maybe we can make it an international affair--and take over the whole of New York City? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270615 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 22:49:23 +0000 Gigi 1270615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, ramya, if you're not conventionally pretty, then I don't stand a chance! You are beautiful...I can't imagine anyone saying this! They obviously need to get their eyes checked. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270611 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 22:45:14 +0000 Kristin SF 1270611@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry about your friend's comment, Ramya. That is not a true friend. I remember your pics from your Berlin meetup with Astrid and you are beautiful.&nbsp; Hope you feel better soon. </p> <p>And really, shake off your friend's comments. Totally unnecessary stress in your life, don't even waste the energy thinking about it!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270560 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 21:51:19 +0000 rachylou 1270560@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Goodness. They're crawling out of the woodwork lately. But I do have to say, that's effn' hilarious. "Not conventionally pretty." Ahahahaha!</p> <p>...Hahaha! Man, that. is. hilarious. Must be another ramya. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270528 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 20:56:43 +0000 Alassë 1270528@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Goodness gracious, you not pretty?! (Shakes head.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270519 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 20:49:40 +0000 Isabel 1270519@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"A friend"....I hope not for long. &nbsp;Friends support us during times when we are sick and stressed out. &nbsp;</p> <p>She is not "conventionally supportive or kind". &nbsp; : &nbsp;)&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you for checking in. &nbsp;I have missed you. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270493 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 20:10:46 +0000 ramya 1270493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks texstyle. I think you are onto something. Will talk to my doc </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270489 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 20:07:23 +0000 ramya 1270489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all do much. I think what hurt me the most is not that I was not considered pretty. But if that person considered me friend it shouldn't matter to him how ever I looked. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270487 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 20:05:43 +0000 texstyle 1270487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your friend needs to get their eyes (and mind)&nbsp;adjusted ramya as you are not only beautiful, but full of life, style&nbsp;and charm.&nbsp; Many of us have had people make weird and even harsh comments I suppose - &nbsp;and it can hit hard when we're feeling overwhelmed - &nbsp;but please don't let it get to you.</p> <p>I wonder if you've had your iron (ferritin) checked? I've mentioned this to many others over time as it is a very common thing for women to have low iron and/or low thyroid, both of which can cause the health&nbsp;symptoms you mentioned. I had both issues for a long time before being diagnosed. You sometimes have to demand that they test fully (full iron panel and full thyroid panel with T3, T4, etc.)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270483 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 19:59:08 +0000 Anonymous 1270483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(((hugs)) Ramya. I've just PM'd you xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270478 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 19:49:59 +0000 Gaylene 1270478@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That comment ranks up there as one of most ridiculous things I've ever heard!</p> <p>Ramya, you are not just pretty--you are gorgeous AND smart AND considerate AND loyal AND courageous--everything that your husband told you sitting by that canal in Amsterdam. You could lose all your hair, have your skin turn purple, double your weight, and still turn heads with that fabulous smile! We all have health issues now and again but that doesn't change who we are; ugly on the inside is always ugly on the outside, while a spirit like yours can't help but be beautiful, both inside and outside. </p> <p>As Angie says, have a really good laugh at your "friend's" expense--with a bit of an extra giggle at his or her big nose poking into your private life. Really, I think it's time we start rolling our eyes and pitying people who make such idiotic comments... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270454 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 19:29:01 +0000 LACeleste 1270454@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Health is our wealth and I hope you get answers and solutions soon. &nbsp;You are beautiful Ramya. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/where-i-am-1#post-1270442 Thu, 05 Jun 2014 19:17:41 +0000 biscuitsmom 1270442@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are beautiful and your style is unique, and that is to be celebrated, not to be made to feel bad, or odd, about... </p>