https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 09:55:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1072201 Sat, 02 Nov 2013 15:53:42 +0000 Shirley 1072201@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting.&nbsp; I can see that you are conflicted.&nbsp; Lots of great advice and comment.&nbsp; My only comment is that given time maybe you will be&nbsp;comfortable letting your true style come through more?&nbsp; The only experience I have with your profession is jury duty, and the lady attorneys I saw do dress very conservative, even in suburban south. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1072151 Sat, 02 Nov 2013 15:04:18 +0000 Elly 1072151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, I may be totally off base. However, do you want to know what I am hearing? </p> <p>I'm hearing, "I don't know if I like how my time has been reorganized. Sure, having larger chunks at a time off is great, but not having as much daily or weekly time off means that all of the regular doldrums of life get packed into my little bit of time off, or build up and make a big presence known when I finally get my chunk of time off." Maybe even so far as hearing, "I feel like I don't have a life while I'm working because of my schedule, but when I'm off I'm playing catch up and am really having to pick and choose what I fit in. I get so busy during my work periods that I don't have an opportunity to get a break from MOM me and LAWYER me and just be UNA." </p> <p>While I would love to say that you just need to dress more kick-ass at work, somehow I don't think that is it. In all honestly, to my ear it sounds like you need some UNA time outside of the gym during your workweek, and an occasion or two when you have time off also set aside as your time . . . time when you get to dress like yourself and not worry about any of the other stuff and do something you enjoy. </p> <p>When all you feel like you have the time for is the outdoors, cleaning, and work that says something. IMO, the only one of those three that is negotiable is the cleaning, so maybe it is time to discuss it with the hubs or think about hiring someone. You work hard and deserve to have time to breathe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1071971 Sat, 02 Nov 2013 05:17:35 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1071971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm reading with interest and don't have much to add to the very intriguing discussion. My one thought I keep coming back to is Angie's "happiness factor." Sometimes the outfits that make me happiest aren't necessarily the most stylish ones. Like, I'll choose to wear a pair of shoes that I love with an outfit even if it isn't the pair of shoes that would put the outfit into "killer" territory. So maybe there are ways to work in "high happiness factor" elements in your work outfits that may not be recognizably your most authentic style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1071458 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 19:48:27 +0000 unfrumped 1071458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You still look anything but stodgy or frumpy to me! I think it may be more that you are aware of some constraints or dress code issues&nbsp; now and just need to feel that's not some kind of sell-out.</p> <p>Honestly, this may sound funny, but&nbsp;it's a rare photo series&nbsp;on this forum that I consider&nbsp; &nbsp;conservative&nbsp;professional dressing, at least the way I define it, even from folks who say they work in conservative environments! So I get kinda tickled at the feelings of style constraint, even while sympathizing. At the same time,&nbsp;all the envelope-pushing gives me&nbsp;some great ideas about what&nbsp;could still work in my environment that I had not thought of, since there is neither technically a dress code nor an expectation for a "corporate" look.</p> <p>I think&nbsp;the outfits you've been posting are pretty great&nbsp;and show you&nbsp;are getting more in sync with the leeway you do have, and so maybe will kind of find your groove. Put your energy toward finding or re-mixing the things you still love that just happen to fit in to your work anyway. Then also remember all of the non-work time (well, what there is of it!) where you can dress completely for yourself, or feel that way, anyway..&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't so much&nbsp; feel&nbsp; &nbsp;suppressed by workwear codes as feeling I want to experiment without&nbsp;ending up looking inappropriate for&nbsp;how I would like to project myself&nbsp;at work.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;I also try to remember that work is work, and a great goal is to plan lots more non-work activities so I can wear more fun stuff there! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1071303 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 17:54:29 +0000 rachylou 1071303@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a good question, esp. for me because as a contractor I change venues regularly. I don't have any answers. I'd like to not go on crazy shopping sprees every time... but here I am once again. I'm feeling a need for suits, but to not abandon Quirky Waif... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1071206 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 16:48:51 +0000 MsMary 1071206@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>K, are you me?&nbsp; "I like being right, and I&nbsp;like dressing up!"&nbsp; YES!</p> <p>I also often think that I am fortunate to work in one of the last bastions of business (semi-)formal dressing because I, too, love to dress up for work.&nbsp; And I love being one of the most senior players in my little corner of the world, because I can get away with wearing things like leather pencil skirts or sky-high leopard-print ankle-strap pumps that might be a little suspect on a more junior person.</p> <p>For somebody whose style doesn't fit into her workplace quite as naturally, I think FlorenceFearne&nbsp; has some great ideas! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1071186 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 16:28:53 +0000 K. Period. 1071186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm. &nbsp;What a great topic, Una. &nbsp;This really made me think. &nbsp;I've never struggled with toning down my work wear to make it appropriate for my environment. &nbsp;My first reaction was to say that it was because I've always seen it as a uniform that I put on for work. &nbsp;But I think there is more to it. &nbsp;I think that a big contributor for me is that my style is by default classic. Because of that, I fit easily into the professional work wear mold. I used to joke that I went to law school because I liked to tell people what to do, I liked to be right, and I wanted to play dress up every day. &nbsp;I like dressing in my professional clothes. They feel comfortable because they fit well and they feel like me because they are classic styles. &nbsp;There isn't some part of me being suppressed. &nbsp;My struggle is more to keep my classic style current and interesting. I'd never thought about it, but that default classic style is actually a luxury for a work setting. &nbsp;(But a drag sometimes for weekend wear.)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1070811 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 06:35:23 +0000 FlorenceFearne 1070811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I definitely relate regarding not feeling like you can express yourself at work. But I think you are on the right track. I can't remember the title of the thread now, but I remember commenting on one of your first "corporate" outfits that had leopard, studded footwear, a chunky belt, etc. None of those things was so extreme as to be out of place in a corporate environment, but taken together they really made the outfit feel more like you. </p> <p>I make a bit of a game out of figuring out where I can sneak in bits of my personality and not have people notice. Bejeweled fly necklace? Check. Scarf that appears to be floral print but is actually skulls and icky bugs? Check. Same with comfort. I own an embarrassing number of jersey blazers. They look pretty dressy, but they feel like PJs.&nbsp;Maybe you can try similar&nbsp;tactics? You won't feel completely stifled, and it's almost fun if you pretend you're undercover. :P&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1070798 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 05:15:05 +0000 Deborah 1070798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't know if I have anything to add but I relate to how you feel. For the purposesof fitting in, being relatable and taken seriously (to a point) a more modern classic style works, however while I like modern classic and can work it, it's not 100% me. I am coming to terms with the fact that I really have one style for work and one for non work,,,they meld at times but can be quite different. I am learning to just accept that:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1070778 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 04:42:48 +0000 anne 1070778@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such an interesting thread Una! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1070756 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 04:10:29 +0000 CocoLion 1070756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with Mo (no surprise there). &nbsp;I just think of work clothes as a uniform. &nbsp;Note I will never post a picture of a work WIW. &nbsp;Or for that matter, even my at-home outfits. &nbsp;I post one or two outfits a week, which is just about how often I can dress unrestricted without thinking about my job or things like dog hair or hay getting in my clothes. &nbsp;These occasions are things like dinner with a friend or a movie (wow, I know). &nbsp;The rest of the week I express my style in a minor way. &nbsp;Accessories, the fit and feel of a garment that gives me pleasure. &nbsp;I actually think you have a less restricting uniform than I do as a server, so I'm kind of envious. &nbsp;I think what's important is just don't give up. &nbsp;I kind of imagine Alaska to be like the California mountains where giving up is the order of the day. &nbsp;Fortunately I live in a tolerant place (at least where style is concerned) and don't feel judged for not giving up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1070733 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 03:46:34 +0000 Catnip 1070733@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi alaskagirl,</p> <p>I don't know you, but I really understand your problem.&nbsp; I am now retired, but I had a career for over 40 years in a conservative field (Information Technology).&nbsp; When I started working, pantyhose had&nbsp;just been invented and they all bagged at the knee so most women&nbsp;didn't wear them.&nbsp; We wore a garter belt and hose or, even worse, a girdle... yes. a girdle...&nbsp;and hose.&nbsp; Yes, even in the very hot New York summer.&nbsp; Sometime in the early 1970's, the women in my company signed a petition to the president asking him to please give us permission to wear pant suits to the office (he agreed).&nbsp; A few years later when I worked for a major news magazine, I was told to hang out in Saks Fifth Avenue to&nbsp;observe how women with real class dressed.&nbsp; </p> <p>When I think about this now, it makes me really angry.&nbsp; But at the time I adjusted and complied with each request.&nbsp; And I'm really glad I did.&nbsp; I had a wonderful career with a great deal of interesting work.&nbsp; The clothes were a side issue.&nbsp; </p> <p>I guess that brings up the question of the importance of clothes.&nbsp; Are they the major focus of your life, or are they a means to an end?&nbsp; Only you can answer that question. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift/page/2#post-1070715 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 03:30:20 +0000 Adelfa 1070715@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, in February I started a new aspect of my job which in my mind required that I dress much more conservatively. (Nobody required it of me. And I still believe it.) I had to dress this way two days a week and before long I was so sick of my clothes. Not to mention that I now had three work capsules going: (1) two days of extra conservative; (2) two days of normal work clothes; (3) casual Friday clothes.</p> <p>For me the answer was buying more clothes that fit as "more conservative" but that felt less frumpy to me. So for me this was buying menswear patterned pants and silk blouses in interesting colors or patterns, to go with jackets I already had. This kept me from hating my look.</p> <p>I don't know if any of this is applicable to your situation, but I shared it because I was able to go from hating getting dressed on those days to happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070702 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 03:17:25 +0000 Jaime 1070702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much good advice on this thread! I don't have anything&nbsp;to add but am following with great interest. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070694 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 03:08:53 +0000 Ornella 1070694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good question. I felt very myself in my work clothes -&nbsp;pencil skirts, dresses, button downs. Then I shifted to SAHM+MOTG with the shrunken budget in a totally new environment and with different means of transport,&nbsp;and had to make the most of existing clothes&nbsp;by seeing how it fitted with my new needs. One of the things that makes such (big)&nbsp;transitions easier&nbsp;is probably identifying one thing that makes you feel the most "you" in any outfit. Something you know reflects your choice and&nbsp;your preferences, however subtle it is.&nbsp;</p> <p>Rae had great thread about a year ago (it was in my highlights of 2012.) and I also wrote something about my own transition. I'll see if I can find those, maybe reading them again will give some new insights. </p> </p> <p>ETA: Here they are Found another one that might be interesting.&nbsp;Happy reading.</p> <ul> <li><b><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/epiphany-how-my-style-went-through-b-cycle">Epiphany :: How my style went through B-cycle!</a></b></li> <li><b><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/desk-job-denoument">Desk Job Denoument</a></b></li> <li><b><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-i-shopped-my-needs-syn-for-the-past-6-months">How I shopped my needs (SYN) for the past 6 months</a></b></li> </ul> <p><b></b></p> <p><b><br /> </b></p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070675 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 02:50:28 +0000 Gaylene 1070675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Honestly, unless you have to wear a real uniform like scrubs or company-issued clothing, most workplaces give you some latitude in your work wear, even in the most conservative workplaces. I think Suz's point is a good one--we can feel authentic in more than a single type of outfit. Working in a new environment requires adjustments and often figuring out how to present yourself within new parameters is just another one. Are you, perhaps, defining your "me" clothes too restrictively? Maybe the BF jeans can't go to work, but why not slouchy trousers? Maybe stumpy boots with studs, buckles, and distressed leather don't work with a suit, but a smoother leather with more discreet studs might be fine? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070482 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 00:41:53 +0000 Mo 1070482@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I get this. &nbsp;When I was doing both jobs earlier this year in Tahoe (6 or more shifts a week) it seemed I never had time for 'me' clothes. &nbsp;I would collapse at home and lock the door at&nbsp;least once a week, so that meant outings to dress for about every other week. &nbsp;And, like you, I didn't feel like the authentic me was being expressed at work, and my downtime wasn't giving me the outlet either. &nbsp;I think I may have posted about wearing a dress just to grocery shop because I was so sick of either uniforms or loungewear. &nbsp;<br />No real answer besides trying your best to make the workwear as much 'you' as you possibly can within the boundaries. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070446 Fri, 01 Nov 2013 00:16:48 +0000 Suz 1070446@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aha. I get it. So the actual work wear is not all that different...it's not having space to wear much else. Well, I can certainly see where that is a problem.&nbsp;</p> <p>You know...like Sveta, I am lucky in that I can wear whatever I want, more or less...but my capsules are still quite different from one another. The work-at-home is different (though overlapping) with the "city visit" which is distinct but overlapping with the "appearances or teaching," and so on.&nbsp;</p> <p>Yet they all feel like me. Even though in some I'm wearing mostly distressed slouchy skinnies and boots and in the other I am wearing a sheath dress and in the other I'm wearing trousers and a blazer of some kind. In my imagination, at least, something unites these different looks enough and something makes them feel authentic. As long as the comfort is there and I actually <b>LIKE</b> the clothes, I mean.&nbsp;</p> <p>But I do sometimes "miss" my dressier outfits (which I get to wear a lot less) and I also "miss" my summer stuff in winter. (And vice versa). But missing isn't being untrue to oneself. It's just...missing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070394 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 23:47:33 +0000 Sveta 1070394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe you need to devise a new role for yourself: UWP in disguise? Like you are in the enemy camp and pretending to be like them but still yourself in some details? :-)<br />I guess I am lucky that I can wear whatever I want to work... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070384 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 23:37:03 +0000 annagybe 1070384@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the shout out.<br /> Very few people have the perfect job with no restrictions.<br /> I think there is a blog called This is Corp Goth. Maybe that'll help give some ideas on how to dress appropriately. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070379 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 23:30:44 +0000 catgirl 1070379@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, you haven't seen some of my less successful days! Those tend to be the days when I don't have time for pics either. And you are right that what you've seen is not a huge shift.</p> <p>But you raise a good question and possibly the heart of the matter. You made me realize that my new schedule gives my fun non-work wardrobe much less rotation time. In other words, I used to have down time days when I'd be working but not seeing anyone. On those days - maybe half my work days, i could wear my "me" clothes. New job, it's always on and I don't get to change it up. Then in my free time I'm cleaning or in gear. So I'm not getting those little fixes of "yay, bust out the BFs!" to sustain me.</p> <p>That is a big realization. And I'm reminded of Anna with her fab wardrobe and only a couple of days in which to sport it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070314 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 22:17:43 +0000 Caro in Oz 1070314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I struggled with this when we moved to a more conservative town &amp; began attending my husband's work functions. It was obvious I had to tone down some parts of myself &amp; it took me a while to work out which parts I could keep &amp; still support my husband.&nbsp;</p> <p>MK, IK &amp; Gaylene have covered it all imo. You need to find the parts that are non-negotiable &amp; work back from there. Comfort would be way up there on my list too, because without it we can't concentrate on what we are doing.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070122 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 19:47:25 +0000 Alassë 1070122@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like MaryK's advice, too. And Suz has a great question. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070113 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 19:42:10 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1070113@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you need to cut yourself a bit of slack here Una. Going from a position where you could pretty much wear what you wanted and be more UWP to a position where you need to dress more conservatively, it's going to take time to mentally adjust enough to know how to physically dress.</p> <p>I think you're doing great FWIW </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070084 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 19:31:42 +0000 Suz 1070084@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The weird thing is...apart from more stretchy and knit items, I don't really see much difference between your former workwear and your current workwear. What am I missing? What can you no longer wear? Or what do you no longer wear that you miss and feel defines you?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070075 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 19:22:46 +0000 Anonymous 1070075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it starts by realizing that one projects the same persona regardless of clothing. Pick your "costume" according to the "character" you need to play that day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070047 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:44:18 +0000 Nebraskim 1070047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe part of this is to re-define your thinking about "frump" (and this is coming from a person who lives in a totally black/white thinking pattern, so huge grains of salt here...) You seem to think that everything that is not "True Una" is frump. If not 100 percent A, then it must be 100 percent B. Is there a range for A-minus or B-plus?</p> <p>You say you more and more crave comfort. Are you saying that your True Una clothing is uncomfortable but frump clothing is comfortable? So is the discomfort in True Una clothing the sense of physically pinching, hurting, fighting with you, or mentally comforting, as in affirming your notion of yourself? And that comfortable clothing challenges your self-perception and what, makes you feel guilty because you feel physically comfortable in the clothing?</p> <p>Can you not achieve both physical and mental comfort while still adhering to your own style persona? Or, and I suspect this might be the case because it is the case with me, are you just sort of up for a fight with authority and you relish sort of poking your nose at social norms/conformity, which you define as being frumpish? (Do not hate me......) I, too, kind of hate authority and want to push the limits but I know where the boundaries lie, and you do, too. I kinda wish I didn't have to conform, but well, I also kind of need my job and there are expectations there. </p> <p>That's my 2 cents. Honestly Una, you could wear an LLBean comfort waist khaki skirt with a turtleneck and tennis shoes, and your personal style would lift this beyond all frumpishness. It's all in the attitude that you bring to the table, and not so much the garments. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070046 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:44:13 +0000 Von 1070046@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with MaryK as far as work clothes being a costume - you have to dress up to play your part!&nbsp; That being said, I'm going to do ME, every day - because if I came in power pants suits daily, I would poke my eyes out.&nbsp; It's too straight forward, and I need a little visual interest.&nbsp; I'm often the lone creative person in an office of corporates, or administrators, or high level people, and I'm going to set myself apart.&nbsp; I can wear slacks that are red if I want because I've played along with the dress code. Business dress. I pair those fun pants with not so fun things like blazers and dress shoes, but I get my red :). I get fun jewelry, I get so much that I want, that I can deal with the fact that my daily<i> costume</i> isn't restrictive...it's just not boyfriend jeans and flip flops. </p> <p>And like Rae, I also have comfort requirements.&nbsp; I need to keep my style on point for the audience, but I can't walk around here in stilettos. I have one pair of feet and I refuse to ruin them with impractical footwear. When the feet need an off day, I pull out the clogs and hide them with nice wide leg trousers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070044 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:42:58 +0000 catgirl 1070044@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the sympathy. I do realize it is a somewhat entitled attitude/first world problem to feel I have any right to dress how I want all the time. It's just that working in a position that is already perceived as extra-conservative (not politically but stylewise), it's hard not to want to break the mold. And I don't have MaryK's flair for business wear!</p> <p>Rae, I need to see your outfits! You sound way more on track than I am. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-your-wardrobe-needs-shift#post-1070005 Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:21:24 +0000 carambola 1070005@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not saying this is your issue, but for me to actually enjoy that costume aspect of dressing for work, I have remind myself to let go of negative associations I sometimes have with dressing professionally and seek inspiration from others here and elsewhere whose professional looks I admire. I am in academia and have a fair amount of leeway, but if I have to dress for a presentation or a conference, I have to push away thoughts of 'stodgy, devoid of personality' when I survey my options and challenge myself to make those items 'streamlined, sophisticated' or whatever else I want to project that day.</p>