https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 14:29:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1315374 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 16:31:42 +0000 unfrumped 1315374@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've analyzed it well. There's a difference between something that might be worn only occasionally but with a lot of fun, vs. just not fitting in well at all.<br />But, you've learned something about your style. How do you think that can translate to your more outdoor-sporty needs? Maybe refined rugged footwear, or leather sneakers, or some special feature that is still a real-walking shoe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1315371 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 16:19:24 +0000 Janet 1315371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand completely, and I think LBD makes a good point. There are a lot of oxfords out there -- I bet you can find a more rugged version that would be more practical for you. </p> <p>I have some really nice shoes that are not getting worn enough for my casual lifestyle -- high heeled pumps and peep toes will never be wardrobe staples for me. I have sworn off buying any more, and there are a couple of pairs I may be putting on eBay. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1315366 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 16:10:57 +0000 Von 1315366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I completely understand where you are coming from, I actually have those shoes and bought them because I wanted oxfords...not because I had any kind of plan as to what to wear them with! I love them, so I work them in. I've taken to wearing them with my skirts, and with my boyfriend jeans, but they are too flat for my work pants. In retrospect, I probably wear them more than some 'work pumps' I have because comfy wins a lot with me.</p> <p>I am looking at some NAS booties right now that I'd love to have but can't see how to fit into my work wardrobe. I hate that I love impractical things! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1315283 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 14:05:15 +0000 Marion 1315283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah go on, find a way to wear them - they're fab! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314618 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 19:25:14 +0000 Alassë 1314618@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry, texstyle. If it makes you feel any better, last year I had the exact experience with oxfords. This year, one came along that fit all my criteria. Your oxford is out there, or will be. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314587 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:55:07 +0000 texstyle 1314587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for your support everyone - not too many places where you can expect to get understanding and commiseration about a fashion miss. Makes me feel better about sending them back. And of course I'll be on the lookout for a taupe/gray oxford that meets more of my criteria. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314585 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:50:36 +0000 JAileen 1314585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know what you mean about the Hill Country. My MIL used to live in Kerrville and so when we visited I would just take practical clothes and shoes. As you say, it's quite rocky and dusty, and one day we might be going through a low water crossing, and the next we might be encountering miniature donkeys. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314560 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:06:49 +0000 Gigi 1314560@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww, too bad. At first I didn't realize that these shoes were brand-new and could still be returned, so I was going to say to keep rather than donate, since you could still wear them to those few special-occasion events, like a lunch date. But I agree that if they can be returned, that's certainly the better option. Otherwise, they just sit in your closet and make you feel bad every time you see them—I think we've all had that experience! </p> <p>When I get tempted, I often think of the more comfortable, practical shoes I have in my closet and how much I love them, and that the new pair isn't going to be able to receive that kind of love. I also know that something else will come along that WILL be able to receive that love. There are so many oxfords out right now, texstyle, that maybe you'll be able to find one to tick more of your "necessary" boxes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314559 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:01:15 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1314559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>These are beautiful shoes &nbsp;- and in your shoes (ha! sorry. &nbsp;couldn't resist), I would seriously consider what Suz suggests: &nbsp;adding rubber outsoles. &nbsp; &nbsp;But then&nbsp;it occurs to me that these are $80 shoes to begin with. &nbsp;$40 outsoles is another 50% to the cost - which brings you to a new price point. &nbsp; And at that $100+ price point,&nbsp;I can't help but wonder,&nbsp;if there is an even better shoe? &nbsp; One that meets your needs AND makes your heart sing?</p> <p>I am usually an enabler, but if I had a pair of shoes I LOVED that I wore in those kind of rugged conditions, the stress of it would drive me crazy. &nbsp; OMG, dust! &nbsp; OMG, rain! &nbsp; OMG, mud! &nbsp; &nbsp;I would be a little ball of worry that I was going to mess up my favorite shoes.</p> <p>If this sounds like you, then send them back. &nbsp; There will always be another pair of gorgeous shoes waiting for you, if you are willing to wait :)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314537 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 17:36:19 +0000 Angie 1314537@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sobbing with you.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314509 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 17:12:59 +0000 cciele 1314509@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, I feel your pain. Those shoes are really nice!&nbsp;</p> <p>I've been bitten by the fantasy-life purchase many a time, also. Better to let the shoe go now with happy thoughts than have them become little guilt trippers living in the back of your closet ... ;)</p> <p>I wonder if you can find a more sturdy version that would suit your lifestyle? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314453 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 16:34:32 +0000 gardenchick 1314453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry to hear and love AviaMariah's suggestion of keeping a picture.</p> <p>I can definitely relate to wishing that I could wear all kinds of shoes that in real life are impractical, uncomfortable, or both! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314445 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 16:26:34 +0000 E 1314445@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww: I often have this issue with footwear. I can justify all kinds of fancy blouses as daily wear, but my shoes are a different story. I've already got the 'errand running' shoes covered from before, when I didn't need to be so picky, so all of my new additions&nbsp;have to be terribly sensible &amp; sturdy to fit in with my lifestyle. And I live in a city!&nbsp;It's so hard to pack a pair back up &amp; return it, but ultimately I end up feeling more pleased with myself than if I had to look at a shoe sitting there, not getting worn, every time I opened my closet. I'm still going back &amp; forth as to whether the Frye Melissas will get enough wear to make them worth part of my shoe budget, even with rubber sole additions.</p> <p>Hill country is beautiful though, and I think the views on the walks justify its stern shoe demands. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314436 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 16:14:14 +0000 kellygirl 1314436@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>They are gorgeous but if you can't enjoy them, I'd send them back. I wish I had as much will power as you (although I'm getting better.) I like AM's idea too.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314403 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:46:52 +0000 texstyle 1314403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz - I see you can relate. I've done it a few times already (buying for the fantasy life) so I'm trying to be really strong about now doing it repeatedly.</p> <p>AviaMariah - that IS a great idea. I think I might do it for more than just shoes. :-)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314399 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:42:41 +0000 Suz 1314399@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, what a great solution, AviaMariah!! Love that idea!! Especially for footwear. Seems like a really great way to indulge one's love.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314389 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:32:24 +0000 AviaMariah 1314389@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I could have a whole closet for shoes that I just want to buy so I can look and them and love them. But I've learned the hard way (many times over) that if shoes don't tick all the practical/comfort boxes they will not get worn no matter how much I love them. &nbsp;It sounds like you've already made the tough decision. &nbsp;I started a Pinterest board for shoes I love but could never wear. &nbsp;:) &nbsp;I figure it's cheaper than having that closet! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314376 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:21:23 +0000 texstyle 1314376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sara, yes they are casual in style, but not in practicality. They are delicate and I already have a couple pair of delicate shoes (Munro leopard flats and other ballet flats) just sitting in the closet most of the year. I did try them on with an insert before packing them back up -&nbsp;but they didn't feel good with the insert as it takes up too much space since they were a perfect glove like fit without it.</p> <p>Astrid - I know, they are beautiful shoes.&nbsp;I'm glad I at least tried them.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314375 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:20:33 +0000 Suz 1314375@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gosh. That <b>IS</b> tough. You are being very strong. They're a lovely looking shoe and on the surface seem just right for your style.&nbsp;</p> <p>You've given a big list of reasons they won't work. One solution to one of those would be to put a rubber outsole on the bottom -- I have done that with some footwear and it works well. Costs about $40.&nbsp;</p> <p>But all the other reasons make it seem as if they need to go back. What a pity.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have this trouble, too, and <b>STILL</b> end up buying for a fantasy life at times. For example, my grey dress boots. I was just telling Sveta yesterday. They are gorgeous. Feel good. Yes, they have a heel, but it is unbelievably balanced and stable and the sole also has traction.&nbsp;</p> <p>But they're simply too "dressy" for my daily environment. I don't like them with skinnies tucked in -- looks too "streetwalker" or too "ladylike" (depending on the rest of the outfit).&nbsp;</p> <p>So I favour my square heeled black boots instead.&nbsp;</p> <p>Lesson learned, I guess. I thought I needed dressy boots so I could wear my skirts and dresses in winter. But it turns out I don't wear them anyway because I feel too dressed up.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314357 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:03:49 +0000 Astrid 1314357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh no... these are just beautiful, Texstyle. But congrats for being sensible and shopping for your real life! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314350 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 14:59:01 +0000 Sara L. 1314350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, so sad to hear they won't work out for you.&nbsp; I really like them and they&nbsp;seem quite casual, but apparently not casual enough for your lifestyle. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-love-an-item-but-know-it-isnt-right-for-your-real-life#post-1314348 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 14:56:15 +0000 texstyle 1314348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So I ordered these Hinge oxfords and sort of fell in love with them. I haven't done that with a clothing item in a long time. Irrational kind of feeling. I love the way they look and feel. They are not comfort shoes, no support or cushion, but they are super light weight&nbsp;and soft leather and the perforations mean cooler feet. They feel good to touch. And I love the color as well. They fit like a glove and make me feel happy to look at. DH didn't like them because of the manly 20's style (as he called it) but to me, they make my feet feel so feminine - just he opposite.</p> <p>I don't mind so much if DH doesn't love them (he changes his mind often too). But the real problem is that I really can't justify them in my wardrobe and that disappoints me. I considered adding&nbsp;inserts but still, who am I kidding?&nbsp;They are not built to take walking on a lot of rocky land or to walk for a couple of miles when visiting a hill country town. They are not "practical" for wet weather that often comes in spring/fall.&nbsp; The perforations likely would mean getting dust inside the shoes - and dust is a daily problem where I live. They have slippery soles. They are really an "office" or "out to lunch" kind of shoe in my eyes and I don't really do either of those things in the typical sense. Many of you may already know that where I live is an extremely casual area here where going to the lake to swim, hunt, fish,&nbsp;or helping out at a ranch is more the "norm" than the exception.</p> <p>Sigh.</p> <p>I think I will be letting them go, but I felt like they deserved at least a post first.</p>