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YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Deleted https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 09 May 2026 21:01:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Beth Ann on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-915301 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:27:31 +0000 Beth Ann 915301@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You are expending amazing energy right now --- new job, intense and sorrowful times with your friends, and more. Looking good and feeling like yourself in your clothes probably adds to your strength for the day, which may be why a need to create a "professional" appearance is so discombobulating! I'd encourage  you to take it one day (and one outfit) at a time.  What about creating some FFBO for that you truly love and feel are a good fit with the environment?  You could repeat these often at first, until you feel like you're off and running at your job.  You may feel differently, but I'd have a hard time feeling confident and prepared at a new job if I were wearing clothes that didn't somehow feel like "me." Anonymous on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-915142 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:45:30 +0000 Anonymous 915142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, you are such a good friend. I'm sorry about everything sad that is going on in your life right now and I'm sending you hugs as well. Congratulations on your new job! How exciting/scary/invigorating/frustrating that you have to come up with a work capsule. I have no doubt that you will rise to the challenge and now only find a look that passes muster, but will exceed everyone's expectations, including ours. Hang in there girlfriend! Hil on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-915052 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 08:01:42 +0000 Hil 915052@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hugs Una! I think there are some fabulous ideas here already so I just wanted to add that I really love your UWP style and I really do think you can find a way to make this work in your new working world - I can't wait to see how it happens for you! Oh and.. not sure anyone mentioned this, but what about getting some items custom made for you? Vix on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-915029 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 05:59:43 +0000 Vix 915029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Una -- Again, congratulations on the job and condolences on your friend; so tough to have such divided emotions swirling around.  Because I think you've been running running running for months now to support your friend and the family, get the new job, and take care of your commitments,I'm going to be a little tough love-y and directive. Feel free to ignore.... 1) Focus on getting your work clothing together for the 2-3 months, not worrying about what you'll be wearing for the next 5 years. If you can incorporate favorite items/stealth style persona stuff in what you pull together, great. If not, re-evaluate as fall rolls around in light of what you've learning about your environment. 2) You drop a lot at Nordstrom. Make an appointment with a personal stylist, and take anything that may be remotely work appropriate in with you in case she can help you find friends for items you have. If they have suits that work for you, awesome. [You do wear dresses a fair bit, so I wouldn't rule out getting a pantsuit with a matching sheath in there.] If you didn't have such sad stuff going on with your friend, I'd have no hesitation saying, "Woman, you need to focus! Get a 2-week capsule that makes you look like you embody the qualities for which you were hired and figure out if you can personalize it later!" So let's pretend all the hard stuff isn't going on -- because to those who don't know you (aka all the new job clients/colleagues) it isn't. And they will be checking you out from every angle...appearance, attitude, work product. Meanwhile, if you're anything like me you and most you'll be a mix of  invigorated and drained (intellectually/emotionally) from the whole starting over thing. You'll be grateful for your capsule, trust me...the control thing YLFers mentioned above will be in play. Plus I bet you'll enjoy the challenge of taking the conservative items in another direction if/when you can. Good luck! Isis on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914955 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:15:33 +0000 Isis 914955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Nancy said. This will be a fun thing to figure out when you have the time and the energy; absolutely no need to figure it all out now.  So sad about your friend.  My heartfelt condolences. sarah on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914943 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:08:29 +0000 sarah 914943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, I'm so sorry about your friend's loss. Hugs to all of you as you move through these final days. You will ROCK the suits. Wow - I can't stand how fab you will be. Love Rae's link. And I know you've already got some outfits put together that will work in the meantime. Maybe go thru your past pics and choose some that will help you transition, and you won't feel so lost. K. Period. on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914942 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:07:46 +0000 K. Period. 914942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, what trousers from which stores have worked for you?  It will help identify cuts and fits. I know we are both IT tending.  nancylee on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914936 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:02:48 +0000 nancylee 914936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, Don't worry about having your new look all figured out when you start the job.  You have plenty of great looks already....and with the addition of a suit you'll be fine to start out with.  After a few months on the job you'll have a better feel for what you need to tweak or add to your wardrobe.  :) Sending you and your friend hugs.  So very very sad.   MsMary on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914933 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:01:11 +0000 MsMary 914933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a pair of J Crew Minnies and I love them.  Don't know whether cropped pants will work for you but I recommend them highly! And also?  I tried on like 8 pair of Express pants before the ninth pair turned out to be my very faves ever. catgirl on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914930 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:59:50 +0000 catgirl 914930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mary, I just tried on 4 pairs (2 styles, 2 sizes) in Express pants and they all looked horrible!  I struggle so much with dress pants... Am ordering some from Theory, and wondering if maybe j. crew will work also. MsMary on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914926 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:53:22 +0000 MsMary 914926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hugs, Una!  So sorry about your friends, but so excited about the new job! I definitely think edged up suits are the way to go.  Bold colors, bold shapes, fun textures, funky shoes!  I have had good luck with Express pants.  catgirl on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914924 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:52:16 +0000 catgirl 914924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Anna, it's not THAT important, but having just figured out my style recently and gotten a handle on it, I'd like to find a way to transition some part of that to what I have to wear 5 days a week.  Edgy menswear suits would definitely fit the bill, if I can only find the right one! annagybe on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914923 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:49:12 +0000 annagybe 914923@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Is that important for you dress UWP for work? I mean I wear hospital issued unisex scrubs and clogs. I just go all out on my off days. I trained at a site that required professional dress under a lab coat. I wore a lot of Club Monaco, great pants. If I ended up back in a situation where I had to dress professionally I would just do it because I'm there to do a job and would rather be judged by my work than my dress. Sveta on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914920 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:41:59 +0000 Sveta 914920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I LOVE the idea or edged up suits. Helmut Lang sounds perfect for the occasion! And shoes - you can use shoes to channel that UWP spirit!Congratulations again on the job, I am sure you will be great in your new position.Sorry about your friend and all stress you had last week - HUGS!!! catgirl on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help/page/2#post-914908 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:29:51 +0000 catgirl 914908@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You are all so wonderful - it's like the most warm fashionable hug ever!  Sounds like edged up suits are the way to go here.  I am going to try Theory but suspect I may be too petite for the pants.  Any other brand ideas?  Perhaps I could splurge on a Helmut Lang jacket.  Angie on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914888 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:58:12 +0000 Angie 914888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so excited about these new suits and the next leg of your style journey I can't stand it! But also hugs to you and your close friends. So tragically sad. xo Jaime on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914856 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:30:01 +0000 Jaime 914856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My extreme sympathies for the emotional roller coaster you are on and it makes perfect sense to hold onto your style persona as something you can control. You have received great advice - start out with some sharp suits and as you adjust into your new role you will see where there is latitude and where there is less. And best of luck with everything! ElleH on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914844 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:22:28 +0000 ElleH 914844@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm sorry about your friend's husband & the Boston effect, being that you're from there. Virtual hugs from me. You have good advice already. I'd like to add that black & grey fits your persona. Doing it in your own way like the pinterest that Rae linked to is how you will get to be you. You wont be able to be RATE at work but you will wear the suits your way. Slouchy pants tapered at the bottom with your Theory blazer & other blazers like that. A tie perhaps with oxfords.  Lynne on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914792 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:43:16 +0000 Lynne 914792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, I am sending big hugs to you and your friend.  And congrats on the new job!  I loved reading all the advice above; as usual the collective wisdom of the YLF forum comes to the rescue :).  After reading all the above I am looking forward to seeing what you come up with; I suspect  Angie's list of hair, watch, and glasses will be key in letting your true colours come shining through ;). Caro in Oz on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914764 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:17:52 +0000 Caro in Oz 914764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you will be able to merge your two worlds. I agree with the others who say that clothing like your Theory blazer will be the sort of pieces to look for; there are some fabulous pants suits out there at the moment:) Make sure you make some time for yourself - climbing? Rambling Ann on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914743 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:59:04 +0000 Rambling Ann 914743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ UWP superheroine, When James Bond wears a tux and still is heroically clad. Batman in his suits is still Batman. You are UWP even in uniform, cant help it. A bit of retro/steam punkish detailing might slip under the radar. Carla on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914707 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:13:28 +0000 Carla 914707@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Lots of good advice here, and I would agree with the pantsuit. Beautiful cut and cloth, modern menswear. Ingunn on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914702 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:02:10 +0000 Ingunn 914702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, I'm sure you will sort this out. Remember - I'd hire you any day! Your style suits your profession to a tee. After all, who doesn't want a warrior on their side in battles of justice? The pantsuits sound great for a start. Add some Una shoes, a little jewelry and what else, and you're set.  There are a lot of stress in your life. Don't be too hard on yourself, and take care. (((big hugs))) K. Period. on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914697 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:55:18 +0000 K. Period. 914697@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Big hugs, Una.  It is A LOT and mixing extreme joy with extreme sadness is hard.  You want to (and are entitled to) celebrate, but when you do, you feel the weight of what is going on with your friend.  Don't worry.  Everyone understands.  You can be both happy and sad. You can be conflicted.   As far as the wardrobe, I understand exactly what you are up against.  I guess I would suggest this: You are going to have a wardrobe disconnect between your work wardrobe and your weekend/time off wardrobe. It may take some time, but ultimately I am sure that you will be able to reconcile yourself to it. (Isn't it interesting that as we move up in our careers, we can actually go from no freedom in dress as young lawyers to lots of freedom in dress as senior lawyers and then suddenly find ourselves again with a somewhat rigid dress code?!?)  However, even though you will need to be reconciled to separate wardrobes, you don't need to be reconciled to wearing things that don't feel like you. You are just going to have to invest more time in finding them.    I think you need to embrace the pantsuit.  They are Una to the core (masculine tough with a hint of feminine) and perfectly appropriate for your new job.  You should be able to buy two or three pantsuits and have a full wardrobe if you also buy extra coordinating trousers.  I would play up the masculine vibe on these because that is part of what makes them feel "you."   Channel your inner Katherine Hepburn when you despair. All those gorgeous pictures of her show her in trousers, done with flair.   You will probably want a few simple layers while you sort things out and find what works for you.  Do you have any button front shirts or simple camis to wear under your suits? And by the way, is there anything more gorgeous than those pictures of KH with silky button front shirts and trousers?  You aren't required to buy silky button front shirts, but I could see them as a good piece to bridge work and play.  Something about silky button front shirts goes both tough and feminine.   You've got a great pair of shoes already. (WHEW!)  You've got that all sorted at least.  Add more as desired, but I think you should keep most of your shoe money for your fun wardrobe and your commuting shoes.  Kick 'em off when you get to work and put on your professional shoes.  You won't be carrying your purse with you most of the time, so you can have some fun with that too. Don't worry.  This is just a different style challenge.  We'll break it down and get you situated with a mini-capsule to start with and then you'll take it from there.  You are awesome at this.  You'll have it all figured out in no time.  (Also, don't read the advice on Corporette.com.  Too stuffy New York lawyer.  You'd suffocate there.)     Ginkgo on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914684 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:30:53 +0000 Ginkgo 914684@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ How would an undercover UWP dress? RoseandJoan on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914679 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:28:07 +0000 RoseandJoan 914679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great thinking CC, Una you could be Xena underneath that strictly tailored exterior. Classically Casual on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914648 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:43:01 +0000 Classically Casual 914648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Is there such a thing as UWP lingerie that can be your secret under your "uniform"? I'm so sorry for your friend... Freckles on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914605 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:49:22 +0000 Freckles 914605@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OOOPS...sorry, no idea why my post went weird. Freckles on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914604 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:48:43 +0000 Freckles 914604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry to hear about your friends husband.  Hopefully it will go as smoothly as possible.  Sending warm and healing thoughts to you and your friend and family. Congrats on the new job too!  Whoo hoo. As a very strict formal conservative suit dresser loaded with protocol for almost my entire work life Im not sure its as severe as you imagine.  Once you get your head around the actual things you must wear a lot of personality can be put into it.  This is where an excellent clothing designer comes in (yes not the only way but I loved mine). As with any job just coast for the first while until you figure out if who youre watching clothes wise is the one you should be watching.  Remember just because they were promoted doesnt mean thats what the company really wants its execs to look like. ironkurtin on "Deleted" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-worlds-collidedazed-and-confused-in-need-of-help#post-914591 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:36:02 +0000 ironkurtin 914591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think, when things get stressful, it's easy to focus on wardrobe as a place where you can control what is going on.  That doesn't mean that everyone else around you will, though, so go easy on yourself. There are many amazing suits/"more professional" outfits out there.  I think accessories and details are places where your style can come through.