https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 03:46:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970323 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 09:14:14 +0000 Anonymous 1970323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kaelyn -- it is so nice to see you again. &nbsp;You look so happy and healthy. &nbsp;Congratulations on the retail therapy. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970284 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 03:04:22 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1970284@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Glad to hear you are doing so well. I too got separated/divorced last year and you're right, there's something very satisfying about deciding what you need and then going out and getting it, rather than having to do a whole dance of justification and/or feeling guilty about spending money on what you need. Plus what you choose to buy is a great way to remake your life and decide what you want to prioritize. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970282 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 03:03:28 +0000 JAileen 1970282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m so glad you’re happy again. Your pictures are so cute. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970277 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 02:43:50 +0000 Jaime 1970277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wonderful post and happy that you have found yourself. You look glowing in the pictures. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970134 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 16:19:42 +0000 taylor 1970134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So happy you have found happiness and growth . Out of pain we grow !<br /> You are really shopping for all the right reasons and enjoying it , </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970128 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 15:56:57 +0000 Greyscale 1970128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so happy for you! You look totally yourself in your clothes. Best wishes for the ongoing process of readjusting after trauma. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970117 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 15:40:37 +0000 Angie 1970117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Kaelyn,</b> what a beautifully written and heartfelt post. You have been through a lot, and that's sad and very hard. The way you coped and came out the other side of a bad situation is both heart warming and inspirational. CONGRATULATIONS, and I am very happy for you. You look at peace, content, and FABULOUS. Much love to you. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970087 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 14:23:02 +0000 Christina F. 1970087@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Kaelyn</b>, thank you for sharing your story and your pictures.&nbsp; You look great, and SO HAPPY. I'm glad you're free now to live as you please (and to SHOP). Love your floral blazer.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970080 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 14:10:09 +0000 Kaelyn 1970080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, everyone!&nbsp; Your comments completely made my morning.&nbsp; I appreciate the moral support and I'm glad y'all like my outfits.</p> <p>Suz, if you'd ever like someone to talk to about shopping for a nonbinary kid, I'm open to it--I don't know their assigned gender at birth or body type or what they like or anything, but I'd be happy to give some suggestions that have worked well for me.&nbsp; I'm glad they have such a supportive and stylish mom!</p> <p>Cee, I nearly laughed out loud at that comment and the only reason I didn't is that I'm on the quiet floor of my university library!&nbsp; I certainly feel the same way about him.</p> <p>La Pedestrienne, I'm glad someone liked the Jiji pin!&nbsp; I wear him quite frequently, especially in October because I have such a soft spot for black cats and it seems appropriate for the season.</p> <p>nemosmom, I will definitely check out your recommendation.&nbsp; I care about function much more than form when it comes to shoes (and since these are for hiking, I figure they'll get beaten up pretty quickly), so as long as they aren't particularly ugly, I have no problem.&nbsp; I'll see if there's a store near me where I can try some on.&nbsp; Thanks so much! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970065 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 13:27:49 +0000 Sara L. 1970065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so glad to hear from you again and that you're doing well.&nbsp; I always enjoyed your posts and outfits.&nbsp; You look happy in all these photos and that's great to see.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970063 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 13:22:39 +0000 Bijou 1970063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Its always wonderful to read your posts. I am so glad that you have found happiness and moved on from your ex. It can be hard to let go of the hurt, but you look amazing and it sounds as though your life if full of great people and opportunities. I love your faux leather jacket with the roses, so perfect for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970056 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 13:03:08 +0000 Anonymous 1970056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was such a lovely post to read first thing this morning! &nbsp;Thanks for sharing all of your stories with us, and I loved looking at such happy pictures:) &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970049 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:15:47 +0000 nemosmom 1970049@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ack! Double post! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970048 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:14:47 +0000 nemosmom 1970048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look really happy in your photos and your trips sound amazing! </p> <p>For hiking boots, I love Vasque <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.vasque.com/">https://www.vasque.com/</a> Not the most fashionable, but their hikers (and snow boots) are super comfy and durable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970047 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:14:06 +0000 nemosmom 1970047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look really happy in your photos and your trips sound amazing! </p> <p>For hiking boots, I love Vasque <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.vasque.com/">https://www.vasque.com/</a> Not the most fashionable, but their hikers (and snow boots) are super comfy and durable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970041 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 11:38:50 +0000 LaPed 1970041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your Jiji pin! &lt;3&nbsp;</p> <p>Fantastic travel adventures -- northern Spain, Peru, Grand Canyon -- take me with you! Your hair looks gorgeous with its curls, and I'm really digging all your plaid shirts and adorable hats. Glad you are doing well and spreading your wings. Keep us posted! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970036 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 10:26:58 +0000 Cee 1970036@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Geez... Wotta bast... er, prince your ex is/was.</p> <p>I'm glad you've moved on from it... I mean him. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970027 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 09:40:03 +0000 Mainelady 1970027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hello and congratulations to you on not only your style journey, but also your life changes and discovery of what works for you. You have a warm smile to go with your curly hair and great skin. Lovely. I really like the happiness factors you mentioned: the sweater from your Dad, the beanie your mom made and your pins. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970020 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 08:02:02 +0000 rachylou 1970020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hello hello! Your hair does get super curly! I too think 5 is esp adorable and funky. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970019 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 07:55:53 +0000 Jane 1970019@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You do look adorable! I love the drama of your hair and your skin looks so clear. The rose jacket looks really super, and all are good looks. The travelling sounds fun. I’m envying your trip to Peru especially. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970010 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 05:52:30 +0000 Jessikams 1970010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good for you! Lots of positive evolution going on, it sounds like. Your curly hair is lovely and the “dad cardigan” is a great fashion/function/family item. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970009 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 05:51:49 +0000 Suz 1970009@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great to see you back and what a fun set of pictures. I really love that shot in #3 with your favourite jeans and also like #5 with mom's beanie and the embroidered jacket. So glad you are feeling more on your feet and able to make decisions about your style direction and life direction! My kid is non-binary and shopping can either be a major challenge or a major blast but rarely anything in between. Congratulations on your studies and your newfound confidence.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970007 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 05:30:33 +0000 Anonymous 1970007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look adorable. I especially like the embroderied jscket in #5. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-retail-therapy-actually-is-the-best-therapy#post-1970006 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 05:19:23 +0000 Kaelyn 1970006@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi, everyone!&nbsp; It's been a while, for reasons I'm about to talk about in this post.</p> <p>It's been two years since my ex-husband and I split up, and I'm doing great and not so great at the same time.&nbsp; On one hand, I'm really coming into my own as a functioning, self-sufficient (more or less) adult.&nbsp; On the other hand, I'm dealing with trauma from emotional abuse.&nbsp; But enough sad stuff--I'm here to talk about retail therapy, because that's more fun to write about, and to read about, I'm sure!</p> <p>During that relationship, I wasn't "allowed" to buy much clothing, even though I really needed it.&nbsp; I've never been one to over-buy, although I definitely have bought things on an impulse and regretted the decision later (I've gotten much better about that with time and practice).&nbsp; I like to buy a reasonable amount of new things once or twice per year--basically with the seasons here in Atlanta, where it's either stupid hot or stupid cold, but not cold enough to snow most of the time.&nbsp; One of the first things I did after the separation was to drop about $300 on sorely needed clothes--which may not sound like a lot for some folks who shop with a larger budget than I do, but for me, that's quite a lot for one season.&nbsp; And it was hard for me to do.&nbsp; It felt great to make my own decisions, set my own budget, and not worry about getting another person's approval, but I still felt anxious about it.</p> <p>Last fall, I did it again, and I treated myself to new skincare products and the most expensive makeup I've ever allowed myself to buy.&nbsp; And this year, I've fully allowed myself to buy what I need to, when I need it.&nbsp; I have a decent amount of professional clothing for the first time in my life, as I am getting ready to apply to doctoral programs a year from now and needed things for interviews (plus I go to research conferences in the spring and last year I felt like I had nothing to wear).&nbsp; I have a sufficient number of high-quality bras--at the time of my separation, I had ONE bra that fit properly.&nbsp; I've let go of trying to dress for other people for the most part (I don't think anyone dresses completely, 100% just for themselves because we are social beings).&nbsp; I've given up on trying to perform femininity in a way that doesn't work for me (I think I mentioned it in a previous post, but I'm nonbinary--which means that I do not think of myself solely as a woman).&nbsp; I've had an absolute blast shopping in the women's and men's departments at will.&nbsp; My style has shifted tremendously--I'm not sure it counts as an overhaul since it's been a two-year evolution, but it certainly feels different in the best possible way.</p> <p>I think that subconsciously, I felt weird about posting here for a while--even though this community is tremendously supportive, part of me associated it with this longing to be able to enjoy developing my personal style and not being able to.&nbsp; I needed some time to just DO what I needed to do without feeling like people were watching.&nbsp; &nbsp; Generally, I can say that my style is currently more maximal than before, I wear mainly neutrals and colors that can function as neutrals, and the single most important thing right now is comfort.&nbsp; I never buy anything that I wouldn't want to wear all day (formal wear aside, anyway--I'm a very casual person and it always feels like a costume, even if it is comfortable to wear).&nbsp; I've also shifted more toward the rough-around-the-edges end of the spectrum rather than the polished end, and I'm really enjoying it right now.&nbsp; Anyway, I'm happy to be here, although I can't promise I'll be super active because university is keeping me super busy.&nbsp; My girlfriend, who just started her Master's program this fall, jokes that I'm treating undergrad like "grad school lite."</p> <p>I've attached several pictures from the last year or so that illustrate the direction my style has been going--mostly selfies, because 1) I'm a millennial and it's what we do, apparently and 2) I don't like bothering other people to take pictures for me.</p> <p>1: Me in northern Spain this summer, rocking my transition lenses.<br />2: A very silly picture highlighting how curly my hair gets when it's humid.<br />3: A rare full-body shot of me, taken by my wonderful girlfriend.&nbsp; These are one of my favorite pairs of jeans.<br />4: The most recent of these pictures, taken around my birthday earlier this month.&nbsp; Featuring an enamel pin of Jiji from the Studio Ghibli film Kiki's Delivery Service.<br />5: A picture from last winter where I'm wearing my favorite jacket--it's faux leather and it has roses embroidered on it!&nbsp; I'm also wearing a beanie my mom crocheted for me that I adore.<br />6: Christmas last year, featuring one of my many plaid shirts and a green cardigan I snatched from my parents when they were going to get rid of it--my dad is the original owner, and it makes me think of him every time I wear it.<br />7: Wearing a tie-die shirt I bought at the end of this summer and a hand-me-down hat from my mom.<br />8: Me being a goofball, featuring my denim vest and several pins and buttons.&nbsp; They're becoming a Thing for me, I think.&nbsp; They're inexpensive and so much fun to collect and wear.</p> <p>Next on the retail therapy agenda: some waterproof sneakers (I had to walk about half a mile in the rain the other day to get back to the car after a long library study session and it was NOT fun because I was wearing sneakers that soak up water like there's no tomorrow) and a pair of hiking boots because I have two more adventures planned for next year: Peru in May for a school trip, and the Grand Canyon in June or July to visit my best friend who moved out there last month for a job opportunity.&nbsp; (If anyone has any recommendations for either of these two items, PLEASE feel free to put a link in the comments!) </p>