https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 08:14:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-405919 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 21:53:21 +0000 geetha 405919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>stop looking for it and driving yourself nuts. that's when it comes to you. "perfect items" are like cats. you can call them all you want but it's when you stop calling that they come to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-405781 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 18:50:25 +0000 catgirl 405781@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've come to realize there are very few things I NEED - really, I have lots of imperfect items, and I am trying to slowly replace them with perfect items. </p> <p>For example, I had a black sheath dress, but it was too short and not well made. So I replaced it with the JNY petite sheath, which is now a workhorse. And I just sent back the leopard coat from NAS because I don't need it, it's not replacing anything, and it's not perfect for me. A leopard coat is on my list, but it's not killing me that I don't have one.</p> <p>So generally (and it is SO against my nature), I am trying to wait and not settle for less than perfect, or just recognize that I don't need everything I want. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-405766 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 18:31:00 +0000 bj1111 405766@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>generally, when i start to complain about how difficult the process is, i know it's time to quit, cuz i'm no quitter! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-405544 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 11:27:01 +0000 Polly (thunalata) 405544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha ha - hear you on the rain!</p> <p>Glad you've resolved it in the way that feels right for you. I've been thinking about your post as I'm on the hunt for closed toe summer shoes and not having much joy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-405535 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:21:05 +0000 Mander 405535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, great replies! Sorry I didn't come back to respond earlier.</p> <p>I decided in the end to let them go, because they were not quite the right size and that probably would have been an issue. And, well, this being England we promptly got a week of solid rain, thus killing any desire to wear sandals. Now I'm back to dreaming about a nice new pair of boots. Waterproof ones. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399826 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 16:14:18 +0000 mrseccentric 399826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>oh Mander, what a great thread topic! and Thank You to all for great contributions!</p> <p>i'm all over Team Low Budget and Ultra Picky (on aesthetic, practical, comfort &amp; health criteria) - i can completely empathize! i take a few approaches to this dilemma (which i'm generally experiencing at any moment).</p> <p>i may see if there is a way i can squeak out some more money somehow - cutting back on treats, telling family i'm very much in favor of cold, hard, cash for upcoming holidays, etc. this applies if more money will enable me to get what i want.</p> <p>when i'm truly stuck and can't find what i really wanted even if $$$ was no object (the most common situation), then i re-evaluate. i try to strip down my concept to the absolute basics. so instead of 'sandal' i would maybe put 'lightweight, cool to wear' on my criteria list. this opens up the possibilities to include ballet-style flats, oxfords, mary janes, and so on. maybe a delicate mary jane with canvas uppers would fill the bill? i don't know, that's just an example, but the idea is to think about the function the item will fill in order to expand your ideas about what in particular could fill that function. for me, this approach generally helps me find something i really like that will work.</p> <p>it's always important to 'know thyself'. if i was in your situation and didn't have ANY shoes that would work AT ALL, i personally would choose comfort over 'cute'. no matter how cute a shoe is, if it's giving me blisters or whatever i won't wear them. i personally would also choose a kind of boring, comfy shoe over something 'cute' - i'd rather wear a shoe that blends in with the rest of my look. i can up the style quotient in other areas of my outfit, but nothing will compensate for a look of misery on my face due to foot pain! but the equation will shake out differently for everyone, so it's important to know your own priorities to avoid wasting money and time.</p> <p>i also have learned how to fiddle with things to make them work for me. i sew, which is worthwhile, so i do a lot of alterations - even on tees and undies! i add full insoles, half insoles, moleskin, new laces, etc. to shoes. clothing and leather can be dyed different colors. buttons can be changed out, etc. how you wear items is important to consider as well - Angie's backward dress is a classic example. a belt can make all the difference. with shoes, with 'hikers' i'll just get a pair that reflects my general wardrobe palette and let the focus of the look fall elsewhere. i don't wear 'hikers' in an outfit where the shoes are the main focus of the look.</p> <p>i am very lucky in that i have a somewhat unique style, and as a result some of my very generous friends and family will give me items they think i'd like from time to time. they will also let me know when they see something that screams 'me' to them. WHATEVER they give or point me to , i thank them profusely!!!! first of all, how sweet that a person thinks of you and takes that time for you!!! also, i've been given some truly awesome pieces from people, and there is No Way i want to discourage anyone from thinking of me in future!</p> <p>i'll third Clark's artisan and indigo lines for very well made, comfy, non-ortho looking shoes. try outlet stores, e-bay, and very persistent online shopping for better prices. my husband gets really good deals, and i think it's because he'll spend an hour going over 20pages of google search results &amp; look into all those online coupon codes. it's kinda fanatical, but if you have more time than $$ it's an option.</p> <p>hope this helps! good luck to you, and thank you and to everyone else for a great thread topic and great ideas!!!! steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399719 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 09:27:28 +0000 Polly (thunalata) 399719@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It depends on the item. I now feel I have enough to wear to be able to refuse to compromise. But if I needed something practical as you mention I think I would compromise rather than have sore feet.</p> <p>Also, although I hear what you say about the cost of the shoes, £20 for comfort is a very good price. In your situation I would buy them and try them properly at home and return them if necessary. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399717 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 09:06:34 +0000 CocoLion 399717@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I generally look for a while and finally get something to fill the void before too long (a few months usually). I looked for a long time for white sandals this season. I definitely made a compromise but fortunately the shoes are comfortable and I haven't needed to wear them much. I spent even more time looking for the perfect pair of nude gladiator sandals with a 2 inch wedge (not 4 inches, not flat -- hard to find). I finally found them and am so happy! I inserted a gel insole as lyn suggests and was fine for hours on my feet.</p> <p><a href="http://www.revolveclothing.com/DisplayProduct.jsp?product=MATI-WZ148&#038;c=Matiko&#038;d=Shoes" rel="nofollow">http://www.revolveclothing.com.....38;d=Shoes</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399711 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 08:32:52 +0000 rute 399711@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I Never give up, unless it something trendy and the trend has already passed away! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399627 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 01:52:23 +0000 Anonymous 399627@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am going through the exact same "comfy walking shoe for vacation" dilemma you are. Vacation is rapidly approaching and so I finally settled on a pair of Anne Klein Sport shoes in beige and black: <a href="http://www.zappos.com/ak-anne-klein-universaz" rel="nofollow">http://www.zappos.com/ak-anne-klein-universaz</a></p> <p>I'll be wearing these with sporty dresses and clamdiggers. They're a bit boring, not precisely what I had envisioned, but they are super comfortable and not a bad choice at all. Once I made the decision to keep the shoes and move on, it felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399613 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 00:53:43 +0000 Anonymous 399613@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My greatest shopping mistakes since finding YLF have been settling for what is ok instead of waiting for the right piece. An exception is trying something new and out of my comfort zone from a second hand shop, deep discount or Target to see if it will work and if eye will adjust. Then one needs to not blame the failure of a look on a cheap piece. Never compromise on fit.<br /> If I had the money I've spent on just ok things, I could have had fewer but much nicer pieces in my closet. The problem with settling for, say a jean jacket that isn't quite short enough when you know that you want a great one, is that you are still looking for the great one, if that makes sense. If it's not an immediate need it's better to keep looking. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399585 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 22:45:04 +0000 greenglove 399585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh the shoe issue. I usually try to make do if it is possible to hold off. For instance, I will bring along a pair of comfy flats in addition to a shoe I may only wear 4 hours. I have tried to find 10 hour sandals and it has not worked. I gave up and now do not wear sandals for long walking trips. Supportive shoes that are really to die for has been hard to find. I have not found any that I love that also make a 12 hour shoe. I just switch shoes and make sure I rest my feet during the day. I will wear supportive shoes for gear. Maybe you can find a good buy on the shoes you do not love but will work for you on ebay. When you know the size and color you want you can find great deals. A great deal will sometimes be the solution if it is an item I need but is not perfect. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399287 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 14:57:47 +0000 Queen Mum 399287@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>With shoes especially, I have learned to think more realistically. Comfort is #1, so when I find the right style, comfortable, and it is at least an 8 aesthetically, I usually go for it. During the summer I can usually be more picky as summer shoes tend to work better for me comfort wise. Winter is when I have more trouble and have to be more open to settling for less than my hopes for KILLER, OMG... THOSE SHOES ARE TO DIE FOR!!!!</p> <p>Other clothing... I usually dont' have to settle because there is so much to select from. But I do have to remind myself that no matter how hard I search, nothing is going to make me look like a hot super model, or 21 year old. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399198 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 09:58:42 +0000 modgrl 399198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have you tried these naturalizers? They are comfy and on sale all over now. </p> <p><a href="http://www.zappos.com/naturalizer-joslin-white-soft-nappa-leather" rel="nofollow">http://www.zappos.com/naturali.....pa-leather</a></p> <p>You only have a short window for sandals. Around here most stores have already switched over to fall merchandise (I am in the mid-altantic US). I have the best luck finding my size early in the season. I look for discounts and coupon codes online, that can help bring prices down early in the season. If I wait until end of season sales, my size in the perfect item is usually long gone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399193 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 08:59:09 +0000 Louise 399193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do you have a link to the Clarks sandals? I have several pairs of shoes with velcro which don't look orthapedic. I could probably overlook the ankle strap if it were me buying them but the fact they are too big could cause rubbing issues x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399061 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 02:31:21 +0000 lyn* 399061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>PS: The Clarks "Artisan" line look less "orthopedic" and is usually what I try to buy from </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399059 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 02:27:02 +0000 Suz 399059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Depends how important the item is. With shoes, I feel I've been compromising for years, because I agree with you it is tough to find the perfect low heeled (but not completely flat) sandal; ditto for shoes, although not quite as bad. When I know I am compromising, I tend to go for a lower priced item or buy something "almost good enough" on sale. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-399038 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 01:56:23 +0000 rae 399038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love Borns and Softspots - I've worn both brands in similar walking conditions to the one you described and came away happy. </p> <p>To answer your question... I stop when I've found it? lol. But yes, I will also fill the gap in the mean time if desperate and presented with a reasonable approximation at a low price. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-398992 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 01:12:17 +0000 lyn* 398992@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I second Kim's recommendation; I love Borns and if your feet still complain, use a full-length gel insert = 36 hr shoes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-398957 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 00:44:46 +0000 Kim 398957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have you looked at the Born Concept Jeslyn Sandals? I have a pair and they are extremely comfy, I can walk in them all day (and I have pretty fussy feet) and they look nice (not orthopedic). They come in a few colors. </p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/TravelSmith-Womens-Concept-Jeslyn-Sandal/dp/B003BVCPQW/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1312591508&#038;sr=8-3" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/TravelSm.....038;sr=8-3</a></p> <p>And I give up when it stops being fun to look! LOL I will buy "pretty close" if I *need* them, and I will wait if I don't. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-398926 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 23:50:21 +0000 Angie 398926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It depends entirely on how desperate you are for the item. Not so? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-398863 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 22:43:57 +0000 Mo 398863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For me it depends on how urgent the need to fill the gap is. I haven't had a leather coat in almost 10 years . . . but I have ski coats and wool coats and plenty of ways to keep warm in the meanwhile, until I find the perfect leather one.<br /> I looked and looked for the perfect white tee and still haven't found it . . . but I'm using compromise ones in the meanwhile because I feel my wardrobe would be hampered without a plain white tee.<br /> So I guess I compromise when I feel I truly can't do without the item and hold out if I can get by waiting for the perfect one to come along. Of course, cost matters, too. If leather coats were under $50 like white tees, I'd likely have a compromise coat long ago!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-398817 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:18:16 +0000 Di 398817@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How are you filling the gap in the meantime? If you have an old pair that needs to be replaced, you might keep looking. If it's been months and you have no sandals, I'd compromise. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-do-you-give-up-on-finding-a-perfect-item#post-398812 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:13:39 +0000 Mander 398812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I tend to be picky about clothes, and since my budget is practically zero due to unemployment, I am very careful about what I buy. However, this means I have a couple of irritating and gaping holes in my wardrobe that are proving difficult to fill.</p> <p>A case in point: I have been trying to find a pair of flat sandals that are appropriate for the sort of vacation that my husband and I tend to take, where we start walking around some interesting foreign city early in the morning and don't stop until sundown. For me this rules out flip-flops and thin-soled, dainty sandals, and I would like something which does not look like hiking gear and is appropriate to wear out to dinner with a casual dress or skirt. I do not get on well with heels at all, as I have various foot problems and for some reason I stumble easily, so I can't really wear them for more than a few hours at a time. I have this ideal vision in my head of what I want, but I have been trying to find something that matches this vision for several years now.</p> <p>I saw a pair of Clarks sandals on sale today that are almost like what I want, but there were a couple of problems: they had a strap around the ankle, which I think makes my ankle look large, and they seemed to be a tiny bit too big. They also had a velcro fastening which I'm worried makes them seem a bit "orthopedic". But on the other hand, they are the closest thing I have found to what I want, and they were relatively inexpensive (£20, which is a lot of money in my world but not completely out of reach). </p> <p>Anyway, all this is to ask when other people give up on finding the "perfect" item to fill a wardrobe gap and just go with something that is close enough? Is it worth holding out to find something that is exactly what you want, even if it takes years to locate it? </p>