https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 09:36:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/3#post-1742490 Fri, 21 Oct 2016 05:27:25 +0000 Aziraphale 1742490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, you hit on a good point. I think the reason I envy tall (or at least average-height) women is because my main motivation has always been to be taken seriously as a person, and not to be attractive as a woman. I mean, we all like to feel attractive, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care at all, but enticing men has never been high on my list of important pursuits. It didn't help that I started out in a male-oriented environment (I used to be a science teacher, remember), whereas conveying the message that I am a competent adult was.</p> <p>&nbsp;(I have to say, this whole situation has improved a bit as I've aged -- people don't dismiss me as a "little girl" so much -- and I just love it when they call me ma'am). :-)</p> <p>DonnaF -- YES I have been patted on the head, too! Aaaargh. Hasn't happened for a long time, though.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/3#post-1742381 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 23:28:26 +0000 DonnaF 1742381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am currently 5' 1"; used to be 5' 1.75".&nbsp; I will never forget that my first boss (around 6' to 6' 1") once patted me on the head -- a *privilege* that taller gals probably don't get to experience.</p> <p>I prefer platforms/flatforms/clogs that give me height without the pain of true heels.&nbsp; I would prefer to be taller, but my grandmothers were 4' 8" or 4' 10" or something like that so I'm not complaining. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/3#post-1742245 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 19:17:11 +0000 Gaylene 1742245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a fascinating thread!</p> <p>I remember as a teenager being highly offended when others often referred to my best friend (5' if she stretched out her neck) and me (a smidge under 5'7") as "Mutt and Jeff". I envied my friend because she looked so feminine and delicate while I usually felt huge and ungainly next to her. Looking back, that comparison, along with my IT shape, is what probably formed my perceptions that traditionally feminine dress, pursuits, and behaviors just weren't for the likes of me. </p> <p>My height, though, meant I could look most men in the eye if I wore heels, and, I suspect, led me to spend more time in male environments than hanging out with girl friends. My height and body build was a privilege which I could exploit in sports and the workplace, although at the expense of downplaying anything that veered towards the feminine. So, yes, height for a female can be a privilege, but it can come with some hidden costs.</p> <p>So I can kind of relate as to why Kate wanted to be taller--if you renounce ever being cute and dainty, might as well grab your heels and leverage your skyscraper tendancies. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/3#post-1742078 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 12:05:16 +0000 chadya 1742078@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Neither<br />happy with my height, and I'm and not much of a believer in those</p> <p>xxx will make you look taller, give you a waist things fashion people tell you.&nbsp; If you are tall, don't have a waist you aren't getting one </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741859 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 20:24:53 +0000 Anonymous 1741859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, fashion fails petites! I've been harping on this for a while now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741839 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 19:48:16 +0000 SandyG 1741839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm bigger on the inside, too &nbsp;A leggy 5'1", taller than my petite cousins, and always riding the tallest horse (thus viewing the world from up high) I never felt small until I married a 6'2.5" guy who loves short jokes. </p> <p>Even in heels it took a long time to get treated seriously in business, and stand up cocktail parties are still tiring for me with all that looking up.&nbsp;</p> <p>And yes, it's not only height but proportions, as petite women can look girlish to other (bigger) people. My Chanel suit became my armor in meetings and conferences. That worked well, yet I'm shopping for girls sweatpants and pj pants to have basic lounge and dog gear items that fit. Makes me feel snarky just writing this! Fashion fails petites (and many more) all too often.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741795 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:59:45 +0000 Aziraphale 1741795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ginger, I wasn't attacking Kate <i>at all</i> -- I hope I made that clear! -- and like I said, I understand that everyone sees things from their own perspective. And I love it when people contribute to a thoughtful discussion. I was merely pointing out that having height really <i>is</i> a privilege. I say this because I was once oblivious to thin privilege, and I so clearly remember the moment it dawned on me. I'd made some offhand comment about how I'd eaten too much and my pants weren't fitting and ugh, and the two friends I was with (who both struggle to keep their weight down) exchanged a look and an eye-roll. I cringe when I think of it. I felt really bad. It's not that I personally think thin is better than not-thin; it's that the society firmly privileges thinness (and tallness). What I had failed to understand was that these two women had spent years feeling freakish because their bodies don't fit in with societal norms. So when a slim woman moans about <i>not being thin enough</i>, it can kind of hurt, which is very much how a small woman might feel when a tall one insists that she's not tall enough. See what I mean?</p> <p>No hard feelings, I hope. :-)</p> <p>Traci, I agree that it's really hard to tell proportions in pictures. I've also noticed that if I hold the camera at eye height to take a picture, it throws the proportions way off, which adds to the problem! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741785 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:50:42 +0000 Ginger 1741785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Traci, that is really fascinating to me! Thank you for saying that. I'm actually 5' 8.5" exactly barefoot. I've always felt taller - Staysfit really nailed that one. I *do* have a tall mentality, though there are many, many women much taller than I.&nbsp; So your opinion is SO helpful to understand my proportions. Thank you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741782 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:45:51 +0000 Ginger 1741782@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'll be honest - I felt very hurt for Kate. I know I'm very sensitive about some things, and I know that the discussion had nothing <i>personal </i>to do with me <i>at all.<b>&nbsp; </b></i>Yet... You were very hurt, and all she did was honestly share her personal experience of being comparatively short in her environment.&nbsp; And so I felt extremely guilty for even thinking that height isn't always a privilege. Ever since I've been 12 I've been offending shorter people with my height! What a burden of guilt. Discussions about the concept of "privilege" are <b>so hard.</b> Not only is this based on comparison and subjective opinion - which is tricky enough! - but this comparison and discussion is to and about actual living human beings. Most people cannot help but feel personally involved when a personal topic is discussed</p> <p>:)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741775 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:35:58 +0000 Traci 1741775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ginger....fascinating! After your post up thread I looked at your previous posts to see if I could guess if you were short or tall. I couldn't. I came away guessing you were some very average height (which to me is around 5'4"-5'5", because I'm short, I guess) but that didn't even seem interesting or relevant enough to mention. My second guess would have been short. So you are the perfect example of how short-average-tall are totally lost in online pics. I can't pin it down at all. Maybe this is why I'm really bad with the proportions questions too. I feel like I always get those wrong and ppl eludes me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741764 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:05:01 +0000 Aziraphale 1741764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, Ginger, I hope nothing was said that hurt your feelings. I am openly, nakedly envious of tall gals -- whether skinny or not! -- so I have nothing but positive things to say about height. :-)</p> <p>But I think Janet expressed a similar sentiment, and I have one friend in particular who, despite being beautiful (she was a model in her youth), has always felt "oafish" (her word, not mine) because of her height (she is 5'11"). But&nbsp;<i>nothing about her is oafish</i>.&nbsp;</p> <p>I do appreciate that there is more than one opinion on this topic.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741758 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:58:49 +0000 Ginger 1741758@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm kind of feeling shamed for being tall now. I can't help it, and I'm 1-11" shorter than everyone on *both* sides of my family except my mother and grandmothers.&nbsp; And yes, I feel overgrown and awkward and fairly unattractive.&nbsp; Tall, but not skinny, so I don't "win points" there either. I'm in that awkward uncategorizeable box on just about all counts.&nbsp; (Even for Kibbe! :p )</p> <p>Like Staysfit and Astrid, I stopped growing quite young, probably by 12. (My feet had certainly stopped by that point.) But I've always been acutely aware of my height. Except among my family (and even then it took a while for my younger brothers to catch up) I was still always the tallest. I towered over my friends, both boys and girls, through most of high school. And most of my girl friends were married long ago. Always back row in choir, on stage, in a chorus, in dance ensemble, in group photos - almost unseen and unheard. Sure, maybe people don't treat me like a child. But height alone doesn't make "grown up" or "worth noticing."</p> <p>Maybe it's good to discuss these things. It's also very, very easy to unintentionally bruise other people. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741744 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:42:08 +0000 Aziraphale 1741744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Robin: <i>"I'm already "little girl" enough."</i> -- Yup. I feel the same way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741738 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:33:49 +0000 RobinF 1741738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting discussion! I am 5'2" and it doesn't usually bother me. I guess I'm just used to it. It is kind of funny, my mom is the same height as me and the only time I really feel short is if I see her in a crowd of people and see how short she is and I think, wow, that is how short I am! Two inch heels are about my max, I just can't handle any higher. I do think that one of the main reasons I don't dress in a girly way is because of my height. I'm already "little girl" enough. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741727 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:07:40 +0000 Aziraphale 1741727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, Janet, that's a huge height discrepancy! Talk about having trouble with selfie framing! One of my friends has a brother in a similar boat -- he's about 6'4" and his wife is 4'10". Apparently he sat down in most of their wedding pictures.&nbsp;</p> <p>You are not "big", by the way -- you have an enviable figure -- but I have heard a lot of tall women express the same thing, i.e. not wanting to be (or feel) bigger than their partner. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741718 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:56:47 +0000 Janet 1741718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A funny little side note. My youngest stepson, the tallest in the family at just shy of 6'7", just got married, and his adorable bride is about 5'1". </p> <p>I dated a few guys who were my height or just barely taller, and I always felt a little awkward. I never liked the idea that I could possibly weigh more than a man I was involved with. I don't like feeling big in any way. Good thing I ended up with someone nearly a foot taller! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741662 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 13:42:53 +0000 Aziraphale 1741662@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Shedev</b>, <b>Gigi</b> and <b>Mochi</b>, thanks for the validation -- it's always therapeutic to hear that other small women feel the same way! :-)</p> <p><b>Astrid </b>and<b> Staysfit</b>, I completely agree with you re. your tall-girl mentality -- I think it's a real thing -- it's like I said upthread to Maneera, about my friend who's about 5'2" but didn't know she was short. She was a tall girl all through elementary school, then stopped growing at age 11 or 12. She never really noticed that everybody else had surpassed her!</p> <p><b>La Pedestrienne</b>, one of the good things about having long feet is that they look good in ballet flats. I like the look of ballet flats, but I've always felt that they make my feet look disproportionately miniature! And I hear you about the feeling of being unable to run away. I worked with a woman once who refused to wear any shoe that she couldn't outrun an attacker in!</p> <p><b>bj1111</b>, I do believe the studies. There are too many of them that all point to the same thing, sadly. We talk about male privilege and white privilege and thin privilege, but height privilege is a real thing, too.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>BC</b>, if I were tall, I'd be happy to wear cropped pants (they're in right now anyway!). It'd be a good trade. ;-)</p> <p>No worries at all, <b>Kate</b> -- I could tell you didn't intend to be hurtful. I was just pointing out that height privilege is invisible to people who have it, in the same way that thin privilege often is!</p> <p>Janet, it's so funny how, even as a tall gal, your hubs and stepsons make you understand what it's like to be a short one! One thing that I've noticed: everyone talks about how much harder it is to be short as a man vs. short as a woman, and there's some truth to that (men generally don't discriminate against short gals when it comes to dating, at least), but if you're a short woman, you are child-sized, and are judged accordingly. A man is short when he's about 5'7" or less, but that's the same height as a fairly tall woman, so he's still at eye-level with many other adults. I, on the other hand, almost never am. ;-)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741649 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 13:09:24 +0000 Janet 1741649@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have thought in the past that I would give up an inch of height if I could magically lose a few inches of girth around the hips and thighs. La Pedestrienne's last paragraph about cropped pants emphasizing those areas struck home with me. Any time I feel like styles have a bit of that effect, I will choose a higher heel to help visually lengthen myself, just to give more illusion of slimness. I rarely dress to BE taller unless I'm going to a concert where I'll be standing and looking over the crowd. ;-)</p> <p>I wouldn't mind being taller, but since my height is not remarkable (5'7" is not really tall but all my height is in my legs), I guess I have some privilege in that regard. My sister and my mom and I all were the same height for many years, so I've always felt pretty average. My husband and his sons are all between 6'5" and 6'7" so they make me feel short! In a way, they have helped me appreciate my height because now I understand a bit of how short people feel all the time! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741602 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 09:09:59 +0000 Astrid 1741602@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Staysfit, that's a very interesting idea. Maybe I don't feel as short because I was never short growing up. I was always among the taller people in my age group. When I was 11 years old the doctor predicted I would probably end up being at least 5' 7" from the usual curve. And then I simply stopped growing. I was as tall as I am now when I was twelve. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741586 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 08:30:53 +0000 Staysfit 1741586@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kate, I was 5'8" in 4th grade! It took a long time for everyone to catch up and I only grew another ~1". I think being tall as a young person gives you a tall mentality forever. Maybe people who get tall later don't have as much of that? </p> <p>Aziraphale, I do have a slightly long torso, and my legs are proportionally short, but not by much. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741556 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 04:05:26 +0000 Gigi 1741556@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AZ, I am 5'2". I agree with all the posters who say that when you are short, you get treated differently, almost like a child. People seem surprised that you can do anything for yourself (like climb supermarket shelves to get what you need....)! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741549 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 03:33:43 +0000 Kate 1741549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yikes, I'm so sorry Aziraphale that my words made you feel crappy. Boy, that was NOT my intention. I just weighed in because I have such strong feelings about my own height, and I found the thread interesting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741490 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 00:33:19 +0000 Anonymous 1741490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The only reason I quit wanting to be tall is because a tall friend of mine can't find pants that are long enough. At least I can have mine hemmed, and there are shorter women in the world. I don't have fit problems with most ready-made clothing. For this I am very thankful. Also, my DH is only 5'9." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741475 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 00:13:52 +0000 Mochi 1741475@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know. I would kill to be be 5'8"!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741464 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 00:05:37 +0000 bj1111 1741464@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BE taller...especially if you believe the studies showing correlation between height and salary; height and professional achievement/rank; height and trustworthiness/competence/ etc... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741461 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 00:02:36 +0000 LaPed 1741461@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember as a kid my pediatrician always told me I was roughly 50th percentile, but I was the smallest kid in the class until I went to the big regional high school. There must've been a lot of Nordic blood in my hometown because everyone was darn tall. My brother ended up 6'3" -- we joke that he got all the Dutch genes and I got all the Scottish.&nbsp;</p> <p>I know I'm not actually towering when I wear heels, but I can't shake the sensation. I totally feel more self-conscious in heels, and I also feel like I couldn't outrun anybody if I had to -- not sure what that says about me. :)</p> <p>My big insecurity, though, is foot length. At 5'4" my 10" long feet feel a little bit ridiculous -- and the fact that I only wear flats probably makes them look bigger. I can't bring myself to wear any shoes with an extended toe box, because that extra length just looks so disproportionate. No pointy toes for me.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741423 Tue, 18 Oct 2016 23:02:01 +0000 Anonymous 1741423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yep, I climb supermarket shelves when there's no store help available. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741415 Tue, 18 Oct 2016 22:45:27 +0000 Astrid 1741415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes you're probably right that 5' 3" isn't that short. And I'm not really petite or slender when it comes to bone structure etc. My sister is 5' 1" but she's build similarly. I guess it's because most of my female friends are taller than me that I count myself as part of the "short group", even though I don't necessarily feel that way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741407 Tue, 18 Oct 2016 22:23:57 +0000 shedev 1741407@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is better to be tall. I'm 4'11, and not under the illusion that anything will actually make me look tall.&nbsp;I'm pretty leggy for my height though. <br />The difference in treatment at this height is not at all subtle. It is something that I have thought for a long time, and I'm kind of&nbsp;relieved that it isn't just me&nbsp;who has noticed that.&nbsp;I climb supermarket shelves all the time. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-more-important-to-look-taller-or-be-taller/page/2#post-1741311 Tue, 18 Oct 2016 18:57:43 +0000 Aziraphale 1741311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kate, I know you didn't mean it this way, but it's really hard for me not to feel crappy -- like a tiny freak of nature -- when you say you were distressed at being "only" 5'8". I'm not trying to belittle your experience -- we all feel what we feel -- but I think I now understand how plump women feel when their slender friends moan about having "fat" thighs. </p>