https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 20:48:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2122645 Fri, 22 May 2020 23:23:37 +0000 cheryl 2122645@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sometimes I feel so naive lol. I use "hugs!" frequently and sincerely and I never imagined people would take in a negative or insincere way.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119764 Mon, 11 May 2020 13:53:44 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2119764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bijou, absolutely, enjoy every second of that! Besides delaying bedtime, he might also be setting himself up for a good night’s sleep, as a dose of “mama” can help kids balance themselves and recalibrate. I bet he will look back on those simple “good nights” in future years as part of the simple stability of his younger years. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119757 Mon, 11 May 2020 13:37:53 +0000 Bijou 2119757@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>These special occasion dates are tough for so many people. I liked your honest and caring message. After reading Jenni’s message, I will have to maximise hugging my son whilst he still enjoys me hugging him. I usually get a hug each evening before bedtime, I think it may be DS’s way of staying up for another 10 minutes, having a hug and chat with me before jumping into bed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119747 Mon, 11 May 2020 11:04:37 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2119747@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jenni, oh dear! Guess I really can’t complain—Mother’s day or not, my son does give me kisses at least half the time when he’s leaving. Was my friend ungracious? Maybe. But maybe I was intrusive. I wouldn’t have said anything if it weren’t for his earlier comments about my son not celebrating Mother’s Day, how some don’t appreciate their mothers till they’re on their own. I thought I was being uncaring not to reply with anything about his mother. Oh well. The joys of communicating by text. </p> <p>Gigi, I fussed over what to say because I wanted to say what he needed to hear. My feelings aren’t hurt, I just know this is a tough area for him &amp; would like to help. You’re right about how he apparently needs to handle it; he’s generally smart about his emotions, so I don’t read into what he said. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119737 Mon, 11 May 2020 09:58:29 +0000 Jenni NZ 2119737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What you wrote seemed to just hit the right note even although he didn’t respond graciously. I like the Facebook thoughts your other friend posted. These days can be fraught as well as pleasant.<br /> I got a hug from my son! I think I get one about 4 times a year- my birthday, Mother’s Day, his birthday, and Christmas. I enjoy them. Better than when he was a kid and used to want to charge me 5 cents if I wanted to kiss him! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119730 Mon, 11 May 2020 05:01:23 +0000 Gigi 2119730@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think what you wrote was excellent. His response is just how he needs to deal wIth Mother's Day right now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119682 Sun, 10 May 2020 20:20:21 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2119682@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Rachylou. He’s clearly got his own demons to battle—offering support is all I can do. But whether it’s his “fault” or not, I don’t want him to feel smothered by that. </p> <p>Nemosmom, I lol’ed at the KISS but thought your advice after it was perfect—that’s what I tried to do. We’ll see what he says whenever we see each other in a month or two, as lockdown lets up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119679 Sun, 10 May 2020 18:25:54 +0000 rachylou 2119679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes. It’s a fraught, complicated day. I think what you wrote was well said and that you couldn’t have done better.</p> <p>I’d just like to say that my mum is a difficult woman, lol. She’s very happy - I had flowers delivered yesterday and will bake her a cake today. BUT the day will not be complete until she’s tortured me some. I can’t guess what it will be in these lockdown times. Normally she’d tell me I have to pick a restaurant and then reject every suggestion until finally, finally she tells me what she really wants to do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119664 Sun, 10 May 2020 15:28:56 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2119664@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yikes! Sounds like it is indeed a tough day. I wrote<br /> <i><br /> I hope you’ve had a good day. I know you miss your mom, am sorry she passed so early and you can’t put your arms around her today.<br /> </i><br /> And got back<br /> <i><br /> If you dont mind i'm not going to discuss mothers day</i></p> <p>Earlier today, when he wished me a happy Mother’s Day, I told him that was likely more than I’d get from my son, &amp; he made it clear he does not approve. That’s how I knew the day was so fraught for him. Oh well, I said I care. Maybe that’s too much. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119646 Sun, 10 May 2020 14:10:57 +0000 nemosmom 2119646@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Better than a hug? A KISS! Keep It SImple! ;). Just tell him what you said here - I am sorry for your loss and sending thoughts as you are reminded of it on this day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119643 Sun, 10 May 2020 14:02:36 +0000 Carla 2119643@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What’s better than ‘HUGS’? &nbsp;- I love you. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119638 Sun, 10 May 2020 13:38:30 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2119638@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Suntiger, glad you liked it. Sometimes it helps just to know we are seen. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Cindy, if only we knew each other that well! Right now I'm half tempted to send him this <a rel="nofollow" href="https://nyti.ms/2poTS51">https://nyti.ms/2poTS51</a> to say I know there was that part of his childhood, and that I'm sorry he's missing her. But if that goes wrong, it'd be very, very wrong. I wish I knew him well enough to know that. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Murph, I'm looking for a way to send a hug, as you say, without the "Hugs!" because I know it'd make him queezy. I am sure I am overthinking it. I'd rather do that here than in a message to a friend who is hurting--that message should be all about him.<br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119634 Sun, 10 May 2020 13:15:48 +0000 Anonymous 2119634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you FI. I'm very blessed to have my mother, but one of those applies to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119625 Sun, 10 May 2020 12:45:52 +0000 cindysmith 2119625@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really really like what your friend posted to FB. It really dips into the murky waters of why this is such a rough day for many many people (especially in the coronapocalypse). </p> <p>As for the (((hugs))), yes it seems so banal, so trite. And yet it can also seem very genuine, especially when coupled with a heartfelt thought that is personalized. That genuineness can come through, even in texts or emails, when it is shared between people who really know each other well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119623 Sun, 10 May 2020 12:41:36 +0000 Murph11 2119623@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don’t think sending a hug today is a negative gesture. Follow it with a nice memory of a time you shared together. All good ❤️ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/whats-better-than-hugs#post-2119620 Sun, 10 May 2020 12:18:44 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2119620@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>I need a way to tell a friend I'm thinking of him and am sorry for his loss.</p> <p> He texted me Happy Mothers Day this morning &amp; was stunned to hear my son's done nothing. I know he's missing his own mother, who died over a decade ago. "Hugs" says you care and want to comfort someone, but it is also banal, corny and cheesy. Worse, it can sound flippant and insincere. Knowing this guy, I absolutely cannot get wordy or syrupy if my goal is to help him feel better, not show off what a great person I am. There are so many great writers here--can anyone help?</p> <p></div><div><br /></div><div>What do you suggest?</div><div><br /></div><div> </p> <p>Related, a friend posted this to my FB, about the different meanings of Mother's Day for different people:</p> <p><i>in addition this year may be especially difficult because of COVID-19 and quarantines </i></p> <p> <i>On this weekend, some things to keep in mind:<br /> 1. Not everyone has a mother. Not everyone is a mother.<br /> 2. Some no longer have mothers, and this is a REALLY hard day for them.<br /> 3. Some have mothers with dementia who do not recognize them any more.<br /> 4. Some have mothers with chronic or terminal illness and are mourning in advance.<br /> 5. Some have, for the sake of their sanity, cut all contact with their mothers.<br /> 6. Some have difficult, acrimonious, anxiety-filled relationships with their mothers.<br /> 7. Some people's mothers are pure evil.<br /> 8. Some people serve as mothers but are not "mothers" in the strict sense of the word.<br /> 9. Some women have struggled with infertility and this day is a painful reminder.<br /> 10. Some mothers have lost children, and will always be mourning.<br /> 11. Some women very much wanted to have children, but the timing never worked out, and this day feels like a rebuke.<br /> 12. Some women never wanted to have children, and this day feels like a judgement.<br /> 13. Some are mothers to special needs children, or children with mental illness, and this is a complicated day for them.<br /> 14. Some mothers think this is a bogus "holiday" and do not want to "celebrate" it.<br /> 15. Some mothers would like to celebrate and think it's lovely to be remembered.</i></p> <p> </div> </p>