https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 03 May 2026 13:56:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403504 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 13:16:31 +0000 krishnidoux 1403504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all of you for your kind, thoughtful and helpful response. And apologies for not answering right away.&nbsp;I had to be away from my computer yesterday, for a meeting with the family of the deceased (in a different city).&nbsp;&nbsp;I realize I should have given some context.&nbsp;</p> <p>The person who deceased&nbsp;is the father of my <a rel="nofollow" href="http://http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-the-power-of-the-culotte">new boyfriend</a>.&nbsp;I&nbsp;had a chance to meet him before he&nbsp;passed,&nbsp;two&nbsp;weeks ago. Terminal cancer took him.&nbsp;The whole family prepared with such grace, and this experience is for me a&nbsp;lesson of love and&nbsp;family ties. I feel very privileged to have been welcome into this wonderful family and witness their strong bonds and kindness towards one another.&nbsp;</p> <p>I will be&nbsp;meeting the rest of his family during the funeral, which is on Friday. This makes me a bit nervous.</p> <p>Janet, I like your suggestion of a black and&nbsp;white print shirt with black bottoms and a black topper. The white might distract from all black.&nbsp;</p> <p>Elizabeth, Your visual is most helpful.&nbsp;&nbsp;The belt and the cocktail ring are a nice touch to your outfit. I will try to include something like this to mine too.&nbsp;</p> <p>Amy, you ask the right questions: in this case, the religion is Catholic. Also, thanks for the reminder about the scarf: good point. You made me smile with your comment about the "Too-many-clothes-ex".&nbsp;</p> <p>Suz, I fully understand that you can't remember what you wore at your own dad's funeral. After all, it&nbsp;is a very emotional time, and we shouldn't really be thinking about our outfits. Thank you for chiming in. You didn't need to apologize for anything... your comments are always kind and à propos. In these sad moments, it is good to smile too.</p> <p>Zibbets, you make a good suggestion. Plums and other darker, autumnal colors are a good idea. I agree with you that black is not an absolute requirement.&nbsp;</p> <p>Aziraphale, you bring up some good points, not to dress too avant-garde. It's a very timely reminder for me, as I tend to have a more avant-gardish style whenever I wear black. So the challenge is to wear black without looking Mod or punkish.&nbsp;</p> <p>Deb, your suggestions are inspiring.</p> <p>Donna, good point you make here. It's true that in the end, it doesn't really matter. I just don't want to make a faux-pas for this first contact with my BF's family.&nbsp;</p> <p>Tracey, I am so sorry for you and your husband that he lost two co-workers at such a young age! I hope your husband is safe in his job. It must be no fun attending two funerals so close to one another. I like your Fall outfit very much.</p> <p>Crutcher, &nbsp;It is good to be reminded.</p> <p>A, what an experience! Thank you for sharing it. I will keep in mind.<br />Sarah, thank you for your detailed description of your capsule. It is most helpful to me as I am putting my outfit together.&nbsp;</p> <p>Joy, Retailgirl, Shiny, Windchime,&nbsp;thank you for your great&nbsp;ideas. I agree that one can never be too formal. Yes, I will bring a whole packet of kleenexes!</p> <p>Ornella, reading you blog right now. Great ideas. Thank you for point it out.</p> <p>Brenda, yes, wearing flats or platforms is key. I will remember to do this.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403435 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 02:05:58 +0000 Windchime 1403435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You're receiving lots of good advice here. I play music for quite a few funerals in a traditional downtown church. Although the personalities and social backgrounds of each group vary, what I notice in common with all of them is exactly what people are suggesting here--dark colors and simple, understated patterns. Unless the occasion is particularly tragic or is for a close family member or will be extremely formal, I don't think you need to wear all black. I'd also encourage you to wear something in which you feel comfortable and true to yourself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403431 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 01:46:25 +0000 Suz 1403431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just jumping back in to say that I feel badly for exhibiting levity at what must be a sad and difficult time. Please accept condolences and know that you are in my thoughts.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403379 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 20:41:53 +0000 qfbrenda 1403379@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreeing with everyone else. One thing I realized is I need to wear flats, regardless of my short stature, especially for anything graveside. Heels quickly sink into grassy surfaces and make walking difficult if not embarrassing.</p> <p>I'm sorry for your loss. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403372 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 20:15:44 +0000 Ornella 1403372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can some thoughts form my <b><a rel="nofollow" href="http://tallandpearfect.lookfab.com/post/wiw-to-the-funeral">old thread</a></b> help? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403359 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 18:28:59 +0000 shiny 1403359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dark clothing - doesn't need to be black. Charcoal grey or navy would work just as well. Modest &amp; conservative. If you'll be going graveside, you may want shoes that can accommodate (flats or wedges, no spiky heels). A topper or pashmina for church which may be drafty.&nbsp;</p> <p>You can't go wrong with a dark suit. Or black sweater plus dark trousers. A black or dark&nbsp;dress can work provided it's a day dress and conservatively cut, like something you might wear to the office, rather than to a cocktail hour. This time of year, a sweater dress would work nicely.&nbsp;</p> <p>Sorry for your loss. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403335 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 16:05:31 +0000 retailgirl 1403335@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When my dear mother died, I wore a navy skirt suit for the calling hours and a navy patterned skirt and navy jacket for the funeral. I didn't wear black then! 20 years ago. Today, I'd have no problem putting together a black outfit. A few years ago my aunt died, and I wore a gray suit. The day was rainy and my raincoat options were a pale pink trench, new at the time, or an ancient olive raincoat. My husband insisted the pink coat was too " frivolous" to wear, so I wore the olive one. I should have listened to my own instincts and worn the pink one. I think if you are dressed modestly and conservatively you'll be dressed correctly. And I second the recommendation for lots of Kleenex! I went to a funeral for a dear friend of my mother's and the eulogies were plentiful, funny, and sad. The three kleenex I brought with me didn't last through the first one! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403323 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 15:05:24 +0000 Anonymous 1403323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wear a little black dress or black skirt with a black jacket. With the skirt I might wear a white or light blue blouse. Except for subtle stripes or false plain plaid, I don't think prints are usually appropriate. Grey or navy work just as well as black. The older you get, the more you need a funeral capsule. That includes a dark coat and footwear that won't sink into soft sod.<br /> I would not be concerned about being more dressed up than others. You are honoring the family and deceased. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403286 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 03:41:53 +0000 Meow 1403286@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is something that's been on my mind lately. Unfortunately, I've beem to more funerals than I can count and find a need for a capsule wardrobe. Ultimately it doesn't matter what you wear but I would like to have to NOT think about my clothes and to be prepare for a variety or weather. I have decided that black is always appropriate. Ive been to funerals for teens and my friends my age and worry that black is so so somber and not celebrating their life. However, for lack of anything else to wear , I wore black and felt perfectly appropriate. Black is not my color and I currently have very few black items. What I have is straight leg pants that are hemmed a little too long for a funeral but work for a dinner out with my 4 inch heels. Maybe some ankle length pants that would work with a variety of shoes would be better. I have had to stand for several hours at a couple of funerals so I would recommend comfortable shoes. I also have a black blazer that's great for those spring or fall days and works with a blouse under that is more my color - or one I have - not that color matters when you're crying and look like hell anyway. I also have a LBD that can be dressed up or down so works in a variety of situations. So that's my three item capsule wardrobe - plus comfortabe shoes, blouse and purse, tights, and coat -and jewelry. AND lots and lots of tissue. One other thing- I have been tempted to go casual on a couple of funerals. I'm so glad I didnt. Dress code is nice and respectful. No jeans, t shirts and tennis shoes - unless your immediate family - just to be safe, again not that any of it matters.<br /> Best wishes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403281 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 02:53:59 +0000 Anonymous 1403281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wear what I would imagine is appropriate for a job interview (in finance so conservative)</p> <p>Hubs and I went to one in a small town a couple years ago and we wore dark suits, him a dark tie, me a plain blouse and black pumps and we stood out like a sore thumb as very over dressed. So, you might want to think about that.</p> <p>Many men didn't wear a jacket or tie and several women were in capris and casual tops, we felt awkward. </p> <p>Sorry for your loss </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403187 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 12:17:57 +0000 crutcher 1403187@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was once told to dress so you are not noticed... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403166 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 06:02:23 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1403166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Unfortunately I've been to two funerals in the past few months.. Both men in their 50's and coworkers of my husbands...For the summer one, I wore a black maxi skirt and black &amp; white polk a dot shell... For the Fall one I wore a black dress with a dark grey knit blazer, belted with a black obi belt. &nbsp;I felt appropriate in both...&nbsp;<br />Funerals are never easy, I wish you strength and comfort. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403164 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 05:23:38 +0000 DonnaF 1403164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry for your loss. &nbsp;Sometimes the deceased's family has a special request. &nbsp;At the last service I attended, we were requested to wear a favorite sweater. &nbsp;If I were close to the deceased and he/she always made note of a particular garment of mine, I might consider wearing it as a special memory, especially if it was going to be a memorial service and we were invited to say a few words. &nbsp;Otherwise, I own more than my share of modest black and gray clothing with nothing tight and nothing particularly short. &nbsp;My only raincoat is red, but when I wore it to the sweater service due to the rain, I don't think anyone was whispering bad things behind my back. &nbsp;Presence (being there) is more important than attire IMHO, and how you treated the deceased when he/she was living is even more important.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403162 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 05:04:31 +0000 Deborah 1403162@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Given the colour palette of my wardrobe, I don't find it difficult to dress for funerals.</p> <p>I attended one last summer and wore a sleeveless midi length simple black dress and black sandals. I wore a red necklace and carried a red clutch.</p> <p>More recently I attended a funeral and wore skinny black tailored pants with my oversized, Metalicus drape top. Silver jewellery and black bag.</p> <p>Both of these funerals were for people that I did not know well and both outfits were regular day outfits for me.</p> <p>If I was attending for a family member or close friend, I tend to dress with a little more tailoring and would wear a jacket or blazer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403156 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 04:23:43 +0000 Aziraphale 1403156@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry to hear you have a funeral to attend.</p> <p>For funerals, I always wear black and grey (big surprise there -- those colours comprise half my wardrobe). I feel that <i>all</i> black is a bit overwrought, but this is just a personal preference -- a black suit, for example,&nbsp;would be perfectly appropriate.&nbsp;I usually wear this textured charcoal pencil skirt that is nearly midi-length (it fully covers my knees), a fitted black shirt or blouse,&nbsp;sheer black hose, and nice black pumps. I'm not religious (not even a tiny bit!) but I see a funeral as a time to dress conservatively and demurely, and not to go with any avant-garde silhouettes or fashion-forward juxtapositions. This is out of respect for the deceased and their loved ones. Funerals are emotional events where the focus should be entirely on celebrating the life of the deceased, and supporting the family.&nbsp;I don't want to draw any kind of attention to myself.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403151 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 04:04:45 +0000 Zibbets 1403151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry for your loss. I just attended a funeral last week and wore black on top and black/purple plaid on the bottom. My belief is that we should grieve with hope that our loved ones will live eternally with Jesus, so I think it's right to be sad but I don't think all black is a requirement. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403145 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 03:36:59 +0000 Suz 1403145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>&nbsp;AmyK, that is hilarious!! :)</p> <p>But Krish, assuming she is wrong, I am so sorry to hear you are in need of funereal attire.&nbsp;</p> <p>I haven't been to a funeral for several years. And I can't even remember what I wore then. It was my dad's memorial service. I remember what my mother wore because I helped her pick it out. But I don't remember what I wore. That is weird.&nbsp;</p> <p>I would probably wear my black skirt and black jacket. Or maybe black pants. It would somewhat depend on venue and my relationship to the deceased.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403144 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 03:36:48 +0000 Debora 1403144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Krish, I'm sorry to hear that you've had a loss. Angie suggests muted, dressy and modest. Here's an old post of hers from the archives that might help.<br /> <a href="http://youlookfab.com/2010/02/02/what-to-wear-to-a-funeral/" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/2010/02/.....a-funeral/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403135 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 02:57:12 +0000 minimalist 1403135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is the funeral for the guy who said you have too many clothes? That might change my answer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403134 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 02:44:58 +0000 minimalist 1403134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, and a scarf or shawl for temperature fluctuations between where service is held, graveside and reception locale. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403133 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 02:41:13 +0000 minimalist 1403133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Depends on where, and what religion.</p> <p>Most conservatively, I'd go with a black skirt-suit or dress, hem no higher than knee, and some sort of head covering. Where I live now, dark grey would be fine and trousers would not be frowned on. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403121 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 01:54:29 +0000 Elizabeth P 1403121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is what I wore last spring when one of my best friends DH passed.&nbsp; I felt appropriate. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403120 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 01:52:08 +0000 Janet 1403120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always choose something somber in color and simple in style. Grey trousers and black blouse (or maybe a black and white patterned top, plus a black blazer) for example. </p> <p>I'm sorry for the sad occasion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-to-wear-at-a-funeral#post-1403112 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 00:38:46 +0000 krishnidoux 1403112@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ideas? </p>