https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 24 Apr 2026 17:27:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1185516 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:32:52 +0000 rachylou 1185516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>But gryffin, if I may whinge, cliches makes things easy! Lol. 12-dozen red roses on Valentine's day, and you've done good. Period. So what if you're a zombie?</p> <p>... hehe, and that's why I try to repel *charmers.*</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1184721 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 01:40:40 +0000 gryffin 1184721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy - if clothes and style can't be personal and idiosyncratic, than what is the point!!&nbsp; I like quirky, I like unique, something a bit off kilter. May be I don't like to be pidgeon holed and I love interesting pieces on others, much more interesting! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1184714 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 01:25:43 +0000 rachylou 1184714@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><i>Rachylou - so if I read you right, you would move to more tailored,<br /> professional, angular pieces. Solids over prints, jackets over cardis.<br /> that kind of thing. would that be right?</i></p> <p>Interesting! I don't suppose in the '90s that's exactly what I did. Dressed like a girl-banker. These days, though, I just throw in a lot of quirky to spoil the soup. Lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1184072 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 11:53:18 +0000 gryffin 1184072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cocolion - I always like to quote that the romantic poets thought poems were "emotion recollected in tranquility"&nbsp; That when emotions ran high we were incapable or articulating or analyzing what we are feeling.&nbsp; But I think that's a good analogy to all of life.&nbsp; When we are in the midst of it, it's almost impossible to stand back dispassionately and see the whole picture analytically.&nbsp; I don't think it's just you and Deb, but all of us, that things only become clear when we have enough space, distance and calm to be able to figure them out.&nbsp; At the time we feel we react but it's hard to see ourselves clearly.&nbsp; Maybe we can only make the best decisions for ourselves at the time and hope in hindsight they will have been solid ones!!&nbsp; As to witch, you have me LOL!!&nbsp; I am a scorpio born on Halloween!!&nbsp; Unfortunately, I only wish I had such powers!!&nbsp; Aahhhhhhhhhh it would be nice!!<br />E - we could do a whole study on this!&nbsp; But I think the most important thing is that you seem very adept now about avoiding unwanted attention and getting attention from people from whom you would welcome it.&nbsp; That's a total coup IMHO!!&nbsp; "Creepy old men," so Lolita, no wonder you avoided cafes!!&nbsp; Awful.&nbsp; Glad that problem seems less pervasive!&nbsp; I am very fond of cafes!!<br />MsMaven - my husband loves men's wear on women.&nbsp; He likes women who are athletic, unfussy&nbsp;and natural.&nbsp; According to him, this reads down to earth, genuine, ie not trying too hard.&nbsp; Given the choice of a glammed up girl and one in chinos, he said he's pick the woman in chinos to talk to every time.&nbsp; FWIW, that was the male opinion!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183843 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 03:17:44 +0000 MsMaven 1183843@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some of the comments about discouraging male attention reminded me of experiences I had when I was younger. &nbsp;To my surprise, some days I got more attention from men when I dressed in an androgynous style, not necessarily in a bad way. &nbsp;I'm talking about Gap khaki pants, a man's beige shirt--somewhat oversized but tucked in and belted, sneakers, and shoulder-legnth hair. &nbsp;This wasn't a look I would consider "man-attracting." &nbsp;And these guys weren't creeps either, as far as I could tell. &nbsp;It happened more than once, and at times when I was with my adult son.</p> <p>Not sure what it means, but I decided if I ever wanted to meet a nice, middle class man I would go hang out wearing a similar outfit. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183786 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 02:17:37 +0000 E 1183786@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>CocoLion, I cross posted with you, but I loved hearing about your experiences! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183784 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 02:16:27 +0000 E 1183784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, I wasn't blaming you at all for using it!&nbsp;I was just explaining why I called it gross in my other post, since you asked. Sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you; I just&nbsp;think it's a shame that the way I dress will impact my safety. But that's the world we live in.&nbsp;There are definitely limits on language, especially when it comes to sexuality and dressing and women. But then there would come a point where we wouldn't be able to talk about clothes, and that would be a shame! The YLF forum is so accepting &amp; open that I don't think anyone here uses words like bombshell or prim in a judging way.</p> <p>I do still get male attention with shorter hair but not from creepy older men (both of those adjectives are key, hehe: I'm not saying all older men are creepy!). It could also be that I'm a few years older, so perhaps I definitely look like I'm in my 20s now whereas before I was frequently mistaken for a teen or college student. Or that my previous experiences make me more guarded in cafes, less likely to smile at strangers, etc. So I'm not positive it's the hair. Thinking about it, I also wear a bit&nbsp;less makeup than I did then: I used to wear a bit of eyeliner &amp; mascara whenever I left the house whereas nowadays I usually skip that. So perhaps shorter hair + less make up = less conventionally 'femme' and thus less interesting to certain types of men? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183781 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 02:15:06 +0000 CocoLion 1183781@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>E and some of the others -- I remember very well that feeling of wanting to dress so I wouldn't be bothered by men. &nbsp;I had a major phase like this in the 80s in NYC. &nbsp;I wore oversized dolman tops, coming down mid-thigh, with a midi skirt or leggings and booties. &nbsp;I had one bf when I moved there in 85, then it was all over and I wasted the next 3 years in a complete barren void of male attention! &nbsp;When I was in my 40s, after my marriage ended, I went through the exact opposite phase. &nbsp;I dressed in body-con clothes, and wore push-up bras. &nbsp;The effort yielded what I desired, male attention. &nbsp;A string of boyfriends, all younger males. &nbsp;One was even a model 21 year younger than me… yes it's true. &nbsp;It lasted about 6 months and trying to keep up with the partying ended up doing me in and aging me badly! &nbsp;LOL! &nbsp;I never thought this through intentionally, it came from within and I adjusted my attire intuitively. &nbsp;It's only here on YLF that I have come to associate words with fashion, it's always been emotion and intuition for me. &nbsp;To Deb's point, I only see this now, later. &nbsp;Loved that observation from you, Deb.</p> <p>Gryffin -- thanks for this thread and your individual, beautifully written responses. &nbsp;You have so much&nbsp;human insight. &nbsp;In the middle ages they might have thought this kind of powerful knowledge qualified you as a witch. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183756 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 01:42:04 +0000 gryffin 1183756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>E - I see where you could object to that moniker. Needless to say, no judgement was intended, but it could be seen as such. Mia culpa. Perhaps ladylike, prim, modest are better descriptors but then if you flip that coin you might still be left with descriptors of other styles like sexy and bombshell that could imply judgement too. Perhaps these are the limits of language. I am fascinated that shorter hair was key in eliminating unwanted attention. I need to canvas my men friends and husband about this. Either way glad you've out figured what styles work and keep you safe ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183731 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 01:08:39 +0000 E 1183731@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww: thanks Gryffin! I dress in a slightly more toned down way when I travel though: no jewelry &amp; a bit more classic than quirky. And sadly, my daily style, as seen on YLF, somehow seems to invite middle-aged men in cafes&nbsp;to say inappropriate things to/persistently stare at&nbsp;me. I don't know why, if it's because I look young so they assume I'll be vulnerable, but it happened fairly frequently&nbsp;when I had long hair (this would have been a few years ago now, so I was in my early to mid 20s vs late 20s like now), and I *hated* it. In fact, I stopped going to cafes for awhile because of it. I've always had a good glare &amp; don't mess with me walk/body language, and it never happened in places other than cafes,&nbsp;so I don't know what on earth was the problem (other than the men, who were the obvious problem). Maybe since I was also reading or something else I let my guard down?&nbsp;Short hair&nbsp;seems to keep my safer though: as soon as I cut my hair again I stopped having problems. Creepy.</p> <p>My horror at 'good girl/bad girl' dressing dichotomy&nbsp;is that it a) blames the victim (she was 'asking for it'), b) objectifies women, turning them into nothing more than sex objects if they dress a certain way, and thus&nbsp;c) reinforces rape culture. Really, I'm horrified by all sexism &amp; misogyny, so it's not just the phrase 'good girl.' </p> <p>ETA: I don't have any issue with women who prefer to cover more of their body when they dress or women who prefer to shore more of their body! It's with the phrase &amp; philosophies behind it, not with the clothes themselves. :)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183724 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:58:55 +0000 gryffin 1183724@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>kerry - the first of step&nbsp;toward insight is figuring out what you don't know!!&nbsp; That's the fun part of being here on YLF since we can help each other figure it out together!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183722 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:56:30 +0000 gryffin 1183722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aubergine - I think those are all great insights.&nbsp; I really liked Rabbit's poing about being able to move between different groups with dress and still feel comfortable.&nbsp; I don't think I have that gift of observation and adaption but I really admire it.&nbsp; I think that's also a really good point for a lot of us that we want dress to intimate that there is more going on below the surface.&nbsp; I think that's where the personal pieces that give clues to other facets of our personalities and lives may come in.&nbsp; I thihk what your saying about staying away from things that are not you, really reminds of of Suz's thread on comfort zone (Do we all feel that we've come full circle now since that tread is what started this thread!!)&nbsp; You want to feel like you not like you are in someones elses clothing.&nbsp; I think that's really important.&nbsp; I also liked that your last point seems to be that you don't want to be different just for the sake of being different.&nbsp; No rebel without a cause.&nbsp; I think that is a super important point.&nbsp; Such good insights Aubergine!!<br />Aziraphale - Oy girl, you said it!!&nbsp; ;-D </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183721 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:56:25 +0000 kerry 1183721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow! This is a popular thread. I need to take some more time to read through all of the posts. I have no idea what message I'm trying to convey through my style. I'm not sure I have an intentional style yet. I guess that why I'm on YLF! I know there are a lot of messages I'm trying NOT to convey. More thought needed ... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183713 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:48:19 +0000 gryffin 1183713@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ik - okay I think I understand where you are coming from now.&nbsp; That style, does not hold the same connotations to me, thus the disconnect.&nbsp; But I see how they could be your "leave me alone" wear.&nbsp; Thanks for explaining.<br />Catnip - that must be disorienting.&nbsp; Like a kids let loose in a candy shop.&nbsp; You spend you whole life on a road that's strictly mapped out for you and now all of a sudden you have 360 degrees of space.&nbsp; Scary but exciting too.&nbsp; Dressing for comfort, safety and beauty, sounds awesome.&nbsp; If you love interior design, then you should have such a good time with this.&nbsp; It's all about proportion, balance, scale and creating a mood and or course achieving comfort!!&nbsp; I so look forward to seeing where this takes you!!<br />Rachylou - so if I read you right, you would move to more tailored, professional, angular pieces.&nbsp; Solids over prints, jackets over cardis.&nbsp; that kind of thing.&nbsp; would that be right?<br />E - I think it is very smart for a woman who travels alone to really evaluate what she is wearing.&nbsp; As you say, dress can invite the wrong kind of attention.&nbsp; I also find that professional and ladylike dress can also get, for lack of a better term, the right type of attention.&nbsp; I have a different style from you.&nbsp; I can see men reacting to some of your outfits in a way they would a cherished sister.&nbsp;I would think your outfits with their old world charm would make people feel very protective of you.&nbsp; &nbsp;They do have a "good girl" feel and E, what is wrong with that?&nbsp;(hey from another good girl!!)&nbsp; Or as my beloved Nana would say, "you want to look like a lady" although you E, I think enchanted fairy would be a better term!!&nbsp; But I find since I wear a lot of blazers, my tops although fitted are always modest (high crews), monochromatic (okay black),&nbsp; short bob and I try and treat everyone with great courtesy and respect, I usually am treated in the same way.&nbsp; Perhaps it's not fashionable but most people treat me like a lady because I think that's how I see and present myself.&nbsp; I also think meeting people is wonderful and I am sure that when they speak to you their visual impression is confirmed by your conversation and actions&nbsp;that you are a lovely, refined, young woman who is to be respected and treated with courtesy, decorum&nbsp;and kindness!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183709 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:41:28 +0000 Aziraphale 1183709@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just have to say --&nbsp;holy moly does this thread ever have legs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183703 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:38:25 +0000 Anonymous 1183703@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has been such a thought-provoking thread! I've read it in a few bursts over the last couple of&nbsp;days, but this is the first time I've had time to weigh in with my (paltry?) contribution.</p> <p>I think I'm a little clearer on what I <i>don't</i> want to say with my clothes than what I do. I feel really weird when I'm wearing something I associate with a "tribe" that isn't remotely my own. So I try to stay <i>far</i> away from anything in danger of veering into, for instance,&nbsp;sporty, preppy,&nbsp;rock-chick, or anything that feels more rural than urban. More subtly, I get really uncomfortable in clothes that feel like they're wearing me for whatever reason, even if I can't exactly&nbsp;articulate why.</p> <p>What <i>do</i> I want to say? Still trying to figure that out.&nbsp;</p> <p>The discussion upthread of whether petite women may find it especially appealing to convey strength through their style connected with me. I'm not as concerned about looking "strong" in particular, but I think I do want to convey&nbsp;in some kind of vague way&nbsp;that I have&nbsp;hidden depths. Sort of like: "Well, duh, <i>of course</i>&nbsp;I'm&nbsp;short and soft and shy and sweet, but that's not all&nbsp;I am."</p> <p>Rabbit's (I think?) observation about how she feels more comfortable in styles that allow her to move between different groups of people without being pinned down also resonated with me. Related to that, I generally don't want to look exactly like everyone else, but also don't want to look like someone who's really making a point of being different. While I can appreciate the impulses that might make someone want to do either one, I feel better somewhere in the middle. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183679 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:18:44 +0000 E 1183679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, you were very gracious in your reply to me! :)</p> <p>I mentioned this on another thread (IK's I think), but sometimes I dress to try to tell strange men not to talk to me. Essentially I kick the primness up a few notches, make sure I'm wearing neutrals vs colours, and don't go for a super body-con silhouette. But it's a mild approach, as I'm still wearing my normal clothes that make me happy. I've also noticed when I have shorter hair (even a bob, not just a pixie), I'm approached less by creeps. Good thing I like short hair on myself, because that just makes it an added bonus! I love RachyLou's "You won't like me" and "Let's not play" messages: that's really what I'm going for when I go to a cafe.</p> <p>When I travel, I try to make sure my outfits look like that country's equivalent of what a 'good girl' would wear, as gross as that sounds (and is): I want to look like men's sisters, not the stereotypical 'loose' American woman they've seen in movies. I carry myself differently too &amp;&nbsp;act shocked at things a la Doris Day just to make sure the message is getting across.&nbsp;I usually travel solo, so I need to be cautious about things, but at the same time I love getting to know people when I travel, so I refuse to just not talk to anyone! But that's a whole other thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183665 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 00:01:09 +0000 rachylou 1183665@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I wear the things that say "You won't like me" and not "Let's play!" For example, in the late '80s/early '90s, I think it was Juicy Couture, hoop earrings, and high ponytails that said "let's play." Charmers tend to do trendy-yet-conventional. </p> <p>It's a filter, but not a precision one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/5#post-1183592 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 22:46:38 +0000 Catnip 1183592@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm really late to this post and haven't had time to read all the comments.&nbsp; Nevertheless, I feel I must respond.&nbsp; But first, thanks to gryffin and all the rest of you who have made it such interesting reading.</p> <p>First, some background.&nbsp; For over forty years I worked in Information Technology as a software developer, manager&nbsp;and departmental director.&nbsp; Everywhere I worked had a dress code, and it was invariably formal.&nbsp; I&nbsp;hate formal business clothes and don't think I ever looked especially good in them, although people did occasionally complement me on looking very professional.&nbsp; To make matters worse, I spent seven years&nbsp;taking care of&nbsp;my very ill husband.&nbsp; When he finally died I was devastated, but I was also finally able to retire.</p> <p>Now, a few years later, all I want is to be comfortable and happy.&nbsp; I have always loved interior&nbsp;design and have spent much time decorating my apartment.&nbsp; Now, for the first time in my life, I'm finding that clothing can be as interesting as&nbsp;furniture and paint.&nbsp; But there's a problem.&nbsp; I've gone from being told exactly what to wear to having endless choices and, of course, no husband to comment or make suggestions.</p> <p>Nevertheless, I'm determined to develop a&nbsp;better functioning wardrobe.&nbsp; Having read about half the responses to this post, it seems that dressing to please&nbsp;others is a useless goal, because we have no way of knowing how we will be perceived by others or what value they will attach to items of our apparel.&nbsp;&nbsp;I'm coming to the realization that, for the first time in my life,&nbsp;I should dress mainly to please myself.&nbsp; I'm thinking comfort and beauty.&nbsp; And of course safety.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183590 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 22:44:29 +0000 ironkurtin 1183590@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, I think you're looking too hard TBH.&nbsp; I don't dress up like Maleficent or Elphaba! But I don't wear figure-flattering clothes that say I am open for attention or looking for company or let's go to the grocery store.&nbsp; If other people read it as comfy, it is true, it is also comfy.&nbsp; But it has other things attached to it, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183569 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 22:14:26 +0000 gryffin 1183569@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK -&nbsp; That's my BFF's usual baggy fleece sweatshirt&nbsp;and jeans uniform and that would translate in her attitude "I'm comfy and ready to&nbsp;play" motif&nbsp; I guess I would not associate those articles clothing with "I don't want to be bothered" as much as "I want to be comfortable and warm."&nbsp; I can certainly give off major vibes of keep away but when I'm in a bad mood or sick at work &nbsp;I like to wear something I like to make me feel better.&nbsp; So I'd wear a favorite outfit so that would not help with the "repel" message.&nbsp; OTOH, I've got a glare&nbsp;that would rival&nbsp;medusa's so I may not need my clothes to do that job for me.&nbsp; Sorry to be absolutely totally dense (I don't mean to be totally annoying, honest)&nbsp;but still not sure I appreciate exactly you make this work for you.&nbsp; <br />Isabel - thanks for the link.&nbsp; I've never been to the manrepeller site!!&nbsp; I am hoping it clues me in.&nbsp; Ooooooohhhh we are sisters in comfort.&nbsp; Love me by tunic sweatshirt and leggings and socks with my huge old rober over it and mu merrell ice clogs (okay, I do take the dog out in the backyard in this - there I said it.&nbsp; But only my neighbor sees me and I've see her without her make up .&nbsp; If either of us fesses up then we both must die.&nbsp; that's the deal!).&nbsp; wow, Isabel you wrote the sequel!!&nbsp; Must finish up so I can find it!!&nbsp; Can't wait.&nbsp; But I have to check out the book link!&nbsp; thanks so much, I'm looking forward to it!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183518 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 21:02:17 +0000 Isabel 1183518@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh that book does sound awesome, Alexandra ! &nbsp;</p> <p>Gryffin, this just keeps getting better. &nbsp;I also don't think that I ever dress in a purposeful way to "repel" consciously. &nbsp;Though one of my favorite sites is the Man Repeller &nbsp;( funny but with so much truth ). &nbsp;&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.manrepeller.com">http://www.manrepeller.com</a></p> <p>I do dress for "comfort", just like comfort food, I have comfort clothing. I like to envelope myself in certain clothing. In that case I&nbsp;&nbsp;love a big sweatshirt or robe or sweater &nbsp;( though I don't go out in my robe - LOL ). That is usually when I stay home. &nbsp;I can't ever remember going to work and dressing in a manner that said I didn't want to interact. &nbsp;Though I know my expressions or curtness assuredly would give that off - but not my clothes, I think.</p> <p>I mentioned this book in the sequel ( hahaha) I started to this thread. &nbsp;The book is the War and Peace of knowing yourself and what you ask of your clothes. &nbsp;It is a fantastic book.</p> <p>Open and Clothed : &nbsp;For the Passionate Clothes Lover<br />Andrea Siegel</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183497 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 20:37:50 +0000 ironkurtin 1183497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, I'm currently wearing a baggy sweatshirt and jeans and am not expecting anyone to find me in the slightest receptive to anything. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183493 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 20:27:03 +0000 gryffin 1183493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK - actually I don't know how to express that in dress. I think I would convey that through expression and action. How do you convey that? Can you describe an outfit that you'd wear to "repel "?<br /> Rachylou - same thing. No idea what "repel " looks like in an outfit ? How do you do it?<br /> Alexandra - I am definitely going yo have to get my hands on that book. Using dress to communicate who you are is the ultimate. Great that you feel confident in doing that! Kudos! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183458 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 19:53:58 +0000 Alexandra 1183458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting topic, gryffin! Thank you for starting it.</p> <p>I don't generally try to send different messages through my clothing choices. All I really want my clothes to communicate is who I am on the inside so that there are no surprises. This is also why I worked through the Triumph of Individual Style exercises. I think Mother Nature does a great job of matching the inside and outside, I just want to take care not to obscure her work. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183453 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 19:46:14 +0000 rachylou 1183453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm interested, IK, the times when you dressed to repel. They sound very specific. I'm thinking I do put a little repel factor somewhere in there. Against a very specific type of person - charmers. I appreciate charm, but I don't quite like it. I find it exhausting. I am not clear on what one does with a charmer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183451 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 19:45:06 +0000 ironkurtin 1183451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't we all have outfits that say, leave me alone?&nbsp; Or, I feel crappy, so go away?</p> <p>I definitely don't wear those intending to be come-hither.&nbsp; Completely the opposite. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183421 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 19:06:59 +0000 gryffin 1183421@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene - that is very eloquent and&nbsp;I am nodding along with your thoughts.&nbsp; I took IK's comment in a completely different way (talk about us all coming at situations from our own different POV).&nbsp; Perhaps I also see all dress, to a degree, as "costume."&nbsp; Perhaps I am a lumper,&nbsp;rather than a splitter in this case, that deliberate effect&nbsp;and costume, for me would be on a continuum, varying only by matter of degree or in this case of excess.&nbsp; The dress becomes "costume-y" when it is so distracting that, as you say, it puts&nbsp; "the audience's focus is on the role, not the particular individual inhabiting the role."&nbsp;&nbsp;But&nbsp;I think I&nbsp;am splitting hairs.&nbsp; I think we are actually trying to say the say thing, but you've been much more articulate.&nbsp; Perhaps&nbsp;this is a variant on&nbsp;Coco Chanel's quote , "Dress shabbily they notice the dress, dress impecably they notice the woman."&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183357 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 17:56:50 +0000 gryffin 1183357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Melllllls - confidence is always a good look!!&nbsp; Plus using outfits to create an ambience, mood or impression in different situations is as elegant as it is useful!&nbsp; Do you want to look approachable or do you need to be authoritative?&nbsp; and a million other needs.&nbsp; If you have that down you are way ahead of me!!&nbsp; Well done! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-message-are-you-trying-so-convey-through-your-style/page/4#post-1183349 Mon, 03 Mar 2014 17:48:05 +0000 Isabel 1183349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, sooooo well said ! &nbsp; : )&nbsp;</p>