YouLookFab Forum » Topic: What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 03:50:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Theodora on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1306835 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 02:59:26 +0000 Theodora 1306835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ ClearlyClaire- yes, you are right! I do pay close attention to whatever Suz does post, as she does talk about the travel/varied wardrobe thing.  Although I don't think I could be as minimalistic as either her, or you, with your pared down wardrobe.  I am fascinated by your grit and holding to your guns, as it were. Right now, the only fashion choice I really have to make is whether to wear my old pink slippers, or my totally cute new Uggs pink-leopard print slippers that DH bought me while I was in the hospital.  Guess which pair wins? Anonymous on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305606 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 00:07:33 +0000 Anonymous 1305606@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Theodora, what a wonderful, long, juicy post! I enjoyed reading every word of it. Your story is so compelling, and except for the part about recovering from spinal surgery, I think a lot of us have been on the same journey with you. BTW, I wish you continued healing and good health!   It was interesting to read about your tipping point, when you pulled everything out of your closet. Time and time I read about how important that step is. I know I didn't realize just how much stuff I had crammed in mine until I drug it all out and heaved it onto the bed. My next thought was, "I'll never get this sorted before bedtime; where will I sleep?"  I can't imagine having the sort of dressing challenges you do. What a varied wardrobe you need. Not just for different climates, but different dress codes and city vibes. That must be a huge challenge. I'm sure there's a way to work it all out and it sounds like you have a little time on your hands to come up with a strategy. I'm sure Suz's wardrobe posts are a goldmine for you. I hope we hear from you some more, when you're feeling up to it. :D Theodora on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305547 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 22:55:32 +0000 Theodora 1305547@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you so much everyone, for wishing me well, and identifying with parts of my long post.  It IS frustrating, just hanging about the house, but I know in the long run I will be able to walk better again, and hopefully even get back to some sporting things I haven't been able to do for 3 years now.  I can't reply to everyone, but I have read all of your notes, and smiled with you :) BethAnn-  I love the image of being in Paris!  Of course, I'd need a whole new fantasy wardrobe.... April- you got it in one!  Yes, I had my surgery at HSS in New York.  Amazing hospital!  The entire staff and experience was beyond what I expected, even in such a physically awful situation.  This hospital really knows what they are doing, and somehow have remained patient-focused. Lisap (and others over 50)- Yes-whose body is this??? I do enjoy reading and visiting YLF, even though I don't post much.  Maybe this enforced rest (no traveling abc) will get me in the habit more. Thanks all! Anonymous on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305415 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 20:45:32 +0000 Anonymous 1305415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've laughed, nodded my head in recognition, and winced a bit while reading this post. I love to read about others' experiences , and yours is really well written!  I laughed at the image of your husband coming home to the mess in the living room (been there, done that), nodded my head at the whole tshirt thing and at the massive elephant in the room that is the over 50, whose body is this ? concept, and winced in sympathy for your surgery and recovery. I defy us to find anyone without a complicated relationship with clothes (well, except maybe Angie - who both terrifies me with her insight  and awes me with her look!) .  Your everyday life sounds busy and complex, and you sure have your challenges in building a wardrobe that works and that you have control over. Take this down time to regroup, rethink, dream, and plan.  I wish you all the best! Peri on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305308 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 18:32:44 +0000 Peri 1305308@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh I am so sorry for your pain. I am two years post herniated disk that didn't need surgery but I'm still dealing with the aftermath. I can't even imagine...and surely don't want to...having it worse than that. I hope you will feel better before too long.  kkards on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305244 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 17:43:07 +0000 kkards 1305244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ thanks for summing this up. i was nodded my head on my of it, but #2, buying for a fantasy life, i let out a loud "yup, that's me". its still the one i struggle with, but the forum has really helped me to understand why i do it. so i'm getting so much better about saying no. hope your recovery is going well. SandyG on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305186 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 15:55:24 +0000 SandyG 1305186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Here's to a very speedy recovery ... and I'm looking forward to your next round of insights. So much fun to read and ponder!   JenA on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305137 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 15:08:13 +0000 JenA 1305137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I really enjoyed reading your post. I think YLF has been such a eye opener for so many of us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I hope that your recovery goes smoothly and that you feel better soon.  Jen abc on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305117 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 14:51:50 +0000 abc 1305117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I haven't read all of the replies (I promise I will) but I HAD to get down here to type I identify with #3 so much.  My life is identical.  I live in a mild climate (average year round is around 60-70 with swings only 10-20 degrees up or down) -- BUT I have to travel to, and be READY to travel to, pretty much anywhere with any climate at the drop of a hat.  Austin summers...HOT!  Minnesota winters...COLD!  Both happened to me with little warning and caught me off guard.  I am doing better, but there is a constant struggle between being prepared and over-buying.  It also pains me to see nice things sitting unworn in my closet, just because the occasion hasn't popped up - but I know I still need to hang onto said item to be prepared.  I'm looking forward to wearing my EF silk shirt this week while I'm in ATX - can't bring myself to wear it for a WFH/MOTG outfit just yet (silk + 2/3 year olds doesn't mix). Sounds like me, you and Suz have #3 in common.  We can all learn from each other.  Please keep posting as I am super interested in seeing how others handle this specific situation. Off to read the replies now! ETA: #1 is so me too ... getting better at that myself Transcona Shannon on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305016 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 13:12:20 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1305016@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What absolutely BRILLIANT realizations Theodora! These will go a long way towards helping you reach the wardrobe you want and that will work for your lifestyle. Best of luck with your healing - my brother-in-law has had spinal fusion surgery and I know how difficult a recovery it can be Meredith on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305015 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 13:10:10 +0000 Meredith 1305015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hope you feel much better soon! I really enjoyed this post. What you said resonated with me in many ways, especially building a wardrobe for a range of situations and temperatures. Not easy! Anonymous on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1305000 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 12:41:39 +0000 Anonymous 1305000@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I echo Suz.  Your post was amazingly interesting.   Get well soon.   viva on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304984 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 12:20:02 +0000 viva 1304984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Count me in as a recovering JCrew tee addict. I still wear them occasionally but they are not my entire wardrobe any longer. Yippee! I really enjoyed your post, and I hope your recovery continues -- and that you will consider posting some WIWs. xx Anonymous on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304982 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 12:16:54 +0000 Anonymous 1304982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Such an insightful post. Sending you all good thoughts for swift and complete healing! deb on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304958 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 11:48:40 +0000 deb 1304958@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Nice post. I hope your back is feeling better. It must be challenging with the brace on. Take care of yourself. Mona on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304953 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 11:35:09 +0000 Mona 1304953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great thoughts! I agree with you 100% on each point. I have been on YLF for two years and still leaning every day. Wishing you a speedy recovery! April on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304944 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 11:19:11 +0000 April 1304944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great post, Theodora.  Back surgery in NYC -- Hospital for Special Surgery?  I know several people who've had wonderful results there.  I hope your pain lightens up soon. When I came to YLF, I was struggling to make five work outfits a week and also to look good in my off time, during which I had previously only worn gearish casual things.  I definitely became more dressed-up overall. But the wisdom of dressing for one's real life cannot be denied, and my current real life does not require professional outfits.  It does require washability, comfort, and flat shoes, yet I still want to look reasonably put-together and not like I have given up and retreated into a world of hoodies and yoga pants. At the moment I'm a bit distracted from wardrobe goals by having a ton of house-related projects in the works.  (We just bought the house for our future and are in the process of selling another and getting the one I currently live in ready to sell next year.)  But when I turn my focus back to my closet, i want to work on building a collection of non-tee shirts that still meet my need for wash-and-wear, comfort, and dressing that over-50 body that you talk about.  (My weight also hasn't changed, yet lots of waistbands that didn't used to now produce muffin top.  Ugh.)   I also need to increase the number of shoes in my closet that my fussy feet can stand.   Take care of yourself, Theodora, and hang in there with your wardrobe!  We're rooting for you. Gigi on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304839 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 05:05:54 +0000 Gigi 1304839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It can be frustrating to be sequestered like that for such a long time! I hope that you find coming to the forum a bit of "social hour" since you can't get out of the house. And although you're not able to probably do much with your wardrobe right now, at least you can *think* about it and prepare your plan of attack for when you are better. Yes, almost all of us on the board have all the same problems: buying for a fantasy life, not buying for our climate, buying stuff that's a little too small, etc. My problem is I'm always buying heels, despite the fact that I live in a climate where it is nice and warm only maybe four months of the year, not to mention the fact that heels are not comfortable! I am getting better in that I am insisting on lower heel heights now, but I still get suckered in. So you're not the only one who has areas for improvement! Gaylene on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304833 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:59:28 +0000 Gaylene 1304833@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, so much of this post resonated with me, Theodora, especially the wardrobe of J Crew T's--and, in my case, jeans, as pretty much my only bottoms. It's amazing, and kind of wonderful, how hanging around this site for a couple of years can totally transform you and your wardrobe. Here's hoping you have a speedy recovery! Beth Ann on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304827 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:53:04 +0000 Beth Ann 1304827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for taking time while in recovery for sharing your insights.  I first joined the Forum because Angie is fabulous, but I had no idea how much I would learn from all the wonderful women here!  I have found that "dressing for your real life" made me more aware of some of the life choices that I was less than content with, and also helped me accept and embrace other aspects of my life --- living in a conventional suburb when I imagine myself in Paris, for example, with true grace and humor. Hope you feel stronger every day! avicennia on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304826 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:49:11 +0000 avicennia 1304826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Best wishes for a speedy recovery and thank you for the the thoughtful post. LACeleste on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304817 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:26:52 +0000 LACeleste 1304817@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ HI Theodora! I remember you and your interesting posts and I really enjoyed this one!  Thanks for sharing your insights.  Wishing you a speedy recovery! Firecracker (Sharan) on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304796 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:06:19 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1304796@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Theodora, these insights are so wonderful to read. Thanks for sharing them. I think I've learned a lot of these things, too, and have yet to really absorb some of them. I could stand to move a lot of my closet to the holding zone, for example. And perhaps I'm experiencing some of that post-50 weight shift, because I'm having to size up in bottoms. Thanks again for your thoughts, and good luck with your recovery. Gracie on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304789 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:00:36 +0000 Gracie 1304789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I really enjoyed reading your post and was nodding along all your points. We're getting a fantastic education here! I think we're all a work in progress and the journey is fun and rewarding. I hope your recovery is speedy and smooth, thank you for sharing. SarahTheWhite on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304780 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:53:56 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1304780@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, what a wonderful recap. It really is amazing how much there is to learn here! And nice to get to know another fellow Floridian a bit better. :-) I hope that your recovery goes well. I'm so sorry for the pain and down time... Please keep us posted on how you're doing! Suz on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304770 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:49:18 +0000 Suz 1304770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Theodora, wow, what an amazing post!! I'm really glad (and impressed!) that you took the time to organize your thoughts here for us when you are still in pain. I hope your healing process goes smoothly. It sounds as if you lead an exceptionally full and busy life, and that makes it even more amazing that you've made the fashion progress that you've made over the past few years.  And I'm so glad if something I said hit a nerve (in a good way). For me, it was a revelation (and quite affirming) to recognize that there were actual REASONS why I sometimes felt like I had nothing to wear. Like, um, the fact that I really didn't have anything to wear for the weather or occasion. Although I had plenty to wear for other occasions and weather, if any of it actually went together, or fit. Which it did not.  <insert blushing face here> In all seriousness, though -- frequent travel really does mean you need to plan your wardrobe even more carefully and include pieces that can (literally) go the distance. It sounds as if comfort is becoming a bigger priority and no wonder. Maybe that's why you reach for cardigans and pullovers before jackets? Or maybe the fits of the jackets are just off on you in some way, making them less comfortable than they should be. However, no need to wear jackets if they are not part of your style and don't work for your life. Onwards! :)  With your varied life, it sounds as if planning a few location-related capsules might be a good idea. Then you'd at least have some great outfits for each setting.  Theodora on "What I've Learned from YLF: Warning, Long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-ive-learned-from-ylf-warning-long#post-1304755 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:37:10 +0000 Theodora 1304755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Things I have learned since joining YLF:   Although I am not a WIW photo posting person, I have been a member of YLF for about 2 years, and I wanted to share my thoughts on things I have learned.   1)   T-shirts are not “real” tops.  Floored me.  Before YLF, all I had were short- sleeved  Basic T’s from J Crew in multiples, and long- sleeved ones from J Crew for winter.  I thought I was stylish and had it covered.  Lol.  Now I wear tops and blouses and all sorts of things other than my J Crew Basic T’s.  Who would have thought? 2)   From forum discussions, I came to recognize that I was doing something that others were, which was buying for my “fantasy” life, and not my actual real life today.  Sigh…  No wonder all I had to wear were either T- shirts and jeans, or party stuff and dress-up things that never left the closet.  I had two years (Okay, I am a slooow learner) to ponder where I actually am in life, and what I really need in my closet. 3)   On that same note, a posting from Suz really resonated with me.  I was so lost outfit-wise, because my life is not 100% stay at home mom, or working in an office, or even living in one climate.  I actually am at home most months for only half the time in days, as I travel a lot.  When I travel, it can be to cities like Los Angeles, where I actually wear things that I feel I can’t really wear anywhere else, to New York City, where the dress code and climate are different again, to North Carolina, to Atlanta, Savannah, you name it!  No wonder I was so confused.  And I live in Florida, where it is hot for at least 6 months a year.  Then there are the events, charity dinners, etc., which I thought I was prepared for, but never had all of the right pieces.  Still working on all of this. 4)   I have learned, and this is a BIG help, about a “holding zone”.  Whew.  Last year I wanted to purge my closet, and emptied everything on to the living room sofa and chairs while my husband was on a business trip, with the intention of sorting it all out.  It was kind of overwhelming, and I had to make an emergency trip the next day, before I could get to it.  He got home before me J  When I got back, I was only able to clear that living room quickly, and save my marriage(just kidding) by putting all of the things I couldn’t make up my mind about in a huge box, the “holding zone'.  There were the high heels that still look fab, but are a bit too tight, or hard to wear with my back problems, the pants and skirts that were also looking good, but not on me, or were a bit too snug.  Those are the worst because they were hanging there, looking good, telling me I was prepared with clothing for certain occasions, only to get thrown on the floor in disgust and dismay every time I needed to wear them, because they really were too small.  Just didn’t want to admit it.  The 'holding zone' solved all of that without the guilt, and showed me where I really was in closet land. 5)   I heard from others about the “over 50 body changes”.  I haven’t gained or lost a pound for many years, but suddenly, it seemed that everything was too tight.  I blamed my washing machine, my dry cleaner etc.  After reading other’s woes, I realized that not only is everything dropping, but that any fat I do have is migrating to either my butt or my middle.  I was down to wearing only 2 pairs of jeans because I just could not accept that.  Well, hello comfort!  I guess one size up is not the end of the world. 6)   This means that I am basically replacing most of my wardrobe, slowly, and also adding new things to make it work for the different parts of my life.  I have lost 5 pencil skirts, for example, which have not been replaced yet, but I have bought 3 evening clutches, one in black, one in a champagne gold/silver, and one in red, to fill a dire need.  I have made mistakes too, as I am shifting from wearing Kate Spade type dresses to sheaths, and longer.  I do love dresses.  Figuring out 55 is not so easy! 7)   You all wear such cool blazers and accessories.  I don’t ever really reach for a blazer, despite the fact that I wore suits in my 20’s and 30’s when I lived and worked in NY City.  I just can’t figure it out.  I reach for a sweater or cardigan every time.  I rarely wear belts, and almost never remember to put jewelry on.  Goals for the future!     Right now I am in a LONG recovery from Spinal Fusion surgery, done 3 days after my birthday in June, done in New York.  Kind of never out of the house, and no traveling at the moment.  Wearing stretchy things in the heat, as I have 4 different scars healing, two in front, and two in back.  And a big-old back brace! So I am not trying out much of my closet for a few months, but I wanted to share how much I learn at YLF, and incorporate in to my life.  While I am so homebound, it is lovely to hear about everyone else, and I really enjoy the new “Keeping it Real” posts.  Thanks!   P.S.- I am dealing with a lot of pain at the moment, so may not be able to answer all your comments, but I will try, and will love to read them!