YouLookFab Forum » Topic: What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: What IS it that's so stressful about building a house? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 04:26:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php neverbuildagain on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-2012671 Sat, 16 Mar 2019 04:24:29 +0000 neverbuildagain 2012671@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Answer: COWBOY BUILDERS AND BUILDING SURVEYORS who take no reponsibility for the mess they have caused. We have gone through hell and back again over 10 years. We still have a house half built due to serious plan deviations. We continue to rent in a low socioeconomic area ( my car was nicked last week), paying mortgage on a house we can't live in and continue receiving ridiculous invoices for ridiculous reasons etc. We have lost close to $100,000. Our health mentally and physically is suffering. We are literally stuck in limbo. texstyle on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-990255 Thu, 25 Jul 2013 16:19:23 +0000 texstyle 990255@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you've received great advice. I would add that you should be fully prepared for confrontation. Contractors are not office professionals. Neither are most project managers (except maybe for high end commercial projects). They are not typically skilled in the art of communications. They usually talk to men so if you will be the one making a lot of the decisions, be prepared to talk to men who will most often assume you have no idea what you are talking about (even if you do). The project manager will assure you they will be on site for all important decisions and oversight. And then they won't. Not to mention you explained to them and they said "yes, yes, yes" but they understood it completely differently. And then something major will be installed wrong. And there will be Confrontation when you get mad.  Never admit to "not knowing anything about something."  Look it up online. Ask friends and get back to them. And never, ever say "we're not in a big hurry" LOL. Count on it taking twice as long as promised. Just for sanity sake. Negotiating skills are really important when dealing with contractors. If you plan to have the PM take care of it all - be sure you're prepared if they don't. It's just a different beast talking to a contractor who is sweaty and grimy ALL DAY often going home themselves to a small meager home or apartment with more bills to pay than they care to manage, while you are building a nice big new home, dressed in nice clean clothes in your shiny car on your lunch break from the office. Unless it's way different in your neck of the woods, it's a clash of two different lifestyles in most cases, and rather you can negotiate your way through that or not is part of the equation for success. It's amazing what other confrontations will come up - like neighbors getting irate because the contractors are parking and "hanging out" in front of their homes. Or the contractor who brings their pit bull to work and ties it up in the front yard.  Or even more weird, the neighbor who thinks you should build in conformance with their expectations like "you're not going to put a window facing our window right THERE are you?" In those cases it's often best to consider a compromise such as "yes, but we'll likely plant some nice shrubbery to screen the view a bit".  But never promise things that you may not want to deliver of course. Other than all of the above advice from everyone - it can be a rewarding experience if you live through it. ;-) Rambling Ann on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-989575 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 23:04:18 +0000 Rambling Ann 989575@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We finished our build about 15 months ago. We were in a time crunch (sold our house too fast), so I didn't get to do as you will and pick in advance, although I had a good idea. I think a lot of delays people have are their own fault for not being ready to decide and dithering, or insisting that everything has to be exactly as in the original spec and not being flexible enough to accept an equal substitute. Know what your top 3-5 priorities are and be willing to adapt for the rest. I had a mantra with my contractor: when in doubt, make it galvanized metal (we have an industrial look).   Where the budget goes bad fast: something you picked which you were promised was in stock can no longer be obtained at any price. So you have to rethink on the fly. Tile can take forever to ship. You plan for a 33" inch kitchen sink and you can't get it and need a 36" one instead, but the cabinets are planned for a 33" base. The countertop you wanted is discontinued and the last 3 slabs are in Los Angeles, available but the shipping is horrendous. If some things are critical or on sale, rent a storage unit and start collecting these things, because your builder won't have a place to store stuff and will arrange to have it delivered to the jobsite just as needed. Also to stow your appliances when you get a good deal on them. And job site pilferage can add up. We should have bought a shipping container and just turned it into permanent storage (I live out in the country where that is perfectly reasonable). Or, you pick a cheap material but the labor to install is more. I really wanted Schluter trim in the bathroom counters. The builder talked me out of it, said it was too expensive, but I probably spent more on the materials+labor installing the cheaper edge tiles.  I had worked on 2 major institutional and 2 home remodels, so I was familiar with the order of  the ceremony, and even then I got surprised. I had to pick a shower brand at the rough-in plumbing stage because there was a valve required right that minute. Afterwards, I could have any kind of showerhead I wanted, just in that brand. Get your builder to explain it, and when each of the subcontractors is involved. Like a timeline. The trades don't like to work on top of each other, so until the rough-in electrical is done, plumbing just won't start in the rooms that are finished, even if it will take a week to run plumbing and the electric guys will be done the next day. Maddening. They said, I did not believe, and was absolutely true, that when the drywall goes up, you are halfway done on the timeline. Pinterest is great during the shopping. I can't remember how many times I pulled out my phone and brought up a pin to see if it would work with the next thing I was shopping for. Or to show a subcontractor why his easier-for-him solution wouldn't work.  Take pictures of every wall, with a tape measure on the floor, before the drywall goes up, so that you have a record of where all the studs are. We needed to refer to them several times to install closet systems, etc. after we took possession. When you go to the jobsite, wear sensible shoes and clothes, make notes, and, just like you do with DH, listen admiringly when they tell you why a particular solution of theirs is ingenious. It's all about relationships, even short ones like the one you will have with your tile guy. Make him believe you will appreciate his best work and you will get it.  So there's a datadump, hope it helps. DH and I did not ever argue in a big way, but the contractor and I did, loudly . We are all still friends, so it wasn't too bad. The trades told me our builder finished our house 6 months faster than the general's previous land-speed record because we were on top of things. All that said, it was one of the most creative processes I've been through and I would do it again with the same builder.  christy on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-986801 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 15:57:20 +0000 christy 986801@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You've received some great advice in this thread and I've loved reading through it. We are currently building a house also. Signed the agreement back in December, had an estimated closing date in November and now don't expect the house to be ready prior to the first of the year. We are building in a development that had pre-designed floor plans to choose from, but it's considered a semi-custom build because you can change almost anything you want except for the exterior footprint of the design like moving walls, entire rooms, etc. So far, these have been my stressor points: 1. I knew there would be a lot of decisions to make. And yet I had NO IDEA how many decisions there would be to make! It's never-ending. The big ones are obvious, flooring, paint, cabinets, etc. But then there are the little details. Do we want floor sockets in the great room? That seems like a great idea so we can "float" furniture in the middle of the room without worrying about cords for lamps, etc. Okay, where EXACTLY in a room that's 20 feet by 17 feet should it go? Do you want a half wall or a bannister coming up the stairs and going into the dining room? Should the balusters be wood or wrought iron? Do you want a flush mounted light or a chandelier? And it goes on... 2. The permit process. We waited almost 3 months for the City to approve our floor plan before we could even break ground which, so far, is the main reason we are already a couple of months behind schedule.  3. IK is right about keeping a project manager on task. Do not assume that the job will get done. Make a request, assign a reasonable amount of time in your mind in which to get a response and then if you haven't heard back, follow up.  4. Striking that balance between expecting people's best work (that's what you're paying for) and yet not being unreasonable in your demands. It's a hard balance to achieve, I've found. I tend to give people more credit than they are due (I'm thinking "of course he's working on pricing out that request, because that's his job") and my husband is on the either end of the spectrum ("of course he's working on someone else's house not ours"), so we tend to balance each other out.  5. All of this is added on top of your day-to-day life - kids, work, friends, family, remembering to feed said kids, etc. Not to mention it's a huge financial commitment, so you want to get everything just right.  All in all, I'm super excited about this, but it is a stressful process. The best advice I can give is to be more organized than you've ever been in your life. Like Ornella, I go everywhere with a tape measure, and I also have a binder that includes each room's floor plan with my current furniture drawn in to scale as well as a list of what I want to be on the lookout for, with approximate dimensions. By drawing in my furniture to scale, I already know that neither of the two coffee tables I have now will work in my sitting room. I need something more narrow and oval rather than rectangular. So that goes on my shopping list. Even though I'm months away from moving in, I can keep my eye out for something that will work in that space. It will also make moving day much easier - there will be no guessing which piece goes into which room. I entirely expect that I'll have to adjust some things once we are in the actual space, but I know I have a plan and that takes a lot of stress off. I have a bit of an Excel obsession where I've created an inventory sheet of everything we own, furniture, accessories, TVs, etc. and their dimensions. The second is a checklist by room of everything that will go into the new house, whether we already own it or not. That doubles as my shopping list.  Best of luck if you choose to do it! :)  cheryle (Dianthus) on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-984617 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 03:08:32 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 984617@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I also negotiated most of the more expensive upgrades in advance but there were a number of smaller ones that I did after the contract.  Adding a potlight in the ensuite, switching to smooth ceilings, adding a few plugs, and upgrading cabinet doors to name a few.  I ended up within a few thousand of my original budget but can see how easy it would be to go WAY over.  I also did a few changes after possession including light fixtures which I was able to source in the U.S. for about half the price of locally and antique crystal chandeliers which I ordered in from Europe.  There are quite a few decisions but that wasn`t too bad.  It was dealing with a production assistant who had no concept of customer service.  Gaylene on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-984431 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 00:18:05 +0000 Gaylene 984431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Our build came in pretty close to the original estimate because we were pretty confident in the amounts that we had set for floors, lighting, cabinets, etc.  The main overrun was our decision to create a lower-level, French door walkout instead of just windows when we realized that the grade would permit this feature. We also choose to replace a support post with a steel beam during the framing to open up the basement so it was more useable. These changes added a couple of grand which was peanuts in the grand scheme of things but really improved the spaces. With each change, we received a written estimate from our builder before we made the final decision so there were no surprises. I think the the "something big" is more common in renovations. Opening up walls often leads to unplanned expenditures if there is moisture or insect damage. It's also harder to draw the line when you start renovating; once you start, it sometimes just makes sense to keep going which can really cause the budget to explode. And some people are prone to changing their minds after seeing how something looks; my friend has had to tear out an entire main floor because the colour the client selected was not to her liking once she saw the flooring installed. That was a very costly overhaul. For what it's worth, my husband and I had a lot of fun selecting the elements for our home. He has good taste and, I figured, had as much right to get what he wanted as I did. I honestly can't remember any fights. And we got along great with our builder; we still send Christmas cards to each other a decade later. Raisin on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-984398 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 23:49:24 +0000 Raisin 984398@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks ladies.  I appreciate the responses.  You have all made really good points, and given me a lot to consider.  I think the biggest decision is picking a builder.  That's where it can all go wrong or all go right.  We did a lot of research into several builders, and the one we picked is, in our opinion, by far the best.  There are 2-3 around town who are really, really good, and he is a small, considerate builder, and I think he's perfect for us.  We've talked to a lot of people he's built for, and I'm amazed at how many people go back to him to build them their 2nd or 3rd house.  I guess that says a lot if he has so much repeat business.  We actually got his name from some of the sub-contractors, because like someone said, they work for many different builders, so they know who are the good ones.  I am really confident in him. So it seems like at some point (or several points!) Dh and I are going to want to kill one another over decision making, right?  LOL!  Too many decisions can be stressful, especially if we don't agree. I have been keeping a Pinterest board with all the ideas I like, so I have a start on that.  I assume we wouldn't start building until next Spring, so that gives me all Fall and Winter to research every detail and make my picks.  I will be honest, I take a long time to make big decisions, but usually once I've decided, I don't change my mind.  So I guess that's good and bad, but if I can get those big decisions made before the building starts, I think we would be in good shape.   I'm curious, you guys say something big always comes up that blows the budget, but I'm not sure what that would be?  I know if I change my mind from a $500 tub to a $5000 one, that will change things, but the way my builder explained it to me is that I will be picking every single little detail down to the model number for him to price out the house before we sign any contracts, and if I don't make a change later on, like in the tub example, then the cost will be the cost.  So are you saying that you made those kind of changes, or big things like structural things came up that wrecked the budget?   Ornella on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-984364 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 23:08:04 +0000 Ornella 984364@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ In short (so far), be ready for: - constant decision making - the more choice you have, the more frustrated you'll be because you'll always wonder whether that other solution may have been better; - not enough time - solutions would have to be decided quickly because you yourself won't want delays which would inevitably eat into your budget; - budget constraints - something unexpected will always come up (costly unexpected); - people management - no matter how good your soft skills are, you will come across a challenging person to communicate with; - stress over the enormity of your commitment - it's not the shoes you bought and you can return them if you change your mind - it's the mortgage and the property and once you're in it, you have to swim all the way; - deadlines and delays. And just as you think you've figured it all, someone will throw something new in "hey, you know you can do this or that"... and you can easily spend hours googling and thinking you must have it... until you get the cost estimate. Of course, none of these are the reasons to give up on the idea of building the house. For us it's almost black&white, we have to live somewhere, and this was more convenient solution than waiting for the existing property to come up on the market at an undefined point in time. If ever. Right now we're throwing money down the drain. If you know you'll be taking on such project and it will be a single build where you'll have a lot of input (not like ours, 1 of 23 houses, designed and project managed by a large company) I'd say start thinking now what you want. It's not too early. Think what matters to you the most (e.g. for me - I want a defined hallway, functional then pretty kitchen with breakfast nook, quiet space somewhere) and be prepared to be creative to achieve that - so study magazines, Pinterest, even other people's homes you find yourself in who have those solutions the way you want them. It's crazy how suddenly totally irrelevant details become critical - whether some wall is 50 or 90 cm, which corner will have how many sockets, which way some door open. I carry builder's tape in my handbag (keys - check, phone - check, money - check, tape - check). I know everything about the pipes in the kitchens. Intercom systems anyone? Lighting solutions? Tiles, flooring, door handles, bathroom taps? Yeah, start preparing now. Debbie on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983498 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 04:28:34 +0000 Debbie 983498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You have received lots of good advice. You have to be extremely organized but able to think on your feet. Things come up that need answers quickly or the delay will cost you. We have done several projects to this house because doing one adds to things we need to do. For example we had to move the hot tub to the deck now we need a door that goes from the sunroom directly to the hot tub. The stress comes from things you don't think of or the money that changes every 5 minutes. But it has its fun moments. Gaylene on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983451 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 03:45:01 +0000 Gaylene 983451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Seriously, you want horror stories, try talking to a contractor. It's amazing what some of these guys go through with their clients who can't understand why costs balloon when they are asked to "just move that wall a little to the left", or "hmm, that stain is a bit too dark; can't you just re-stain it a lighter color?" I guess that one of the advantages of knowing contractors is that my husband and I had a good idea of what was ahead of us when we opted to build our custom home a few years ago. If you want it to be fun, here are my tips: Find a good builder through the grapevine and then do more research by talking to former clients, but also to some of the subtrades and suppliers who will be working on your home. A reputable builder will be proud of his reputation and should be quite willing to furnish names; if a builder hedges, consider it a big red flag. Ask these people lots of questions, especially about how closely the builder adheres to timelines and to paying his subtrades. Avoid any builder who wants substantial pre-payments before the work is actually done. That cheque of yours will be going to pay sub-trades who have worked on other projects, not yours. A reputable contractor will provide you with a schedule of what will be completed at various stages and how much the draw will be to cover that stage. In other words, your payment should be for your foundation, not your neighbours. Do your homework. Spend some time figuring out what you want by going to building stores, tile companies, plumbing showrooms, and the like. Familiarize yourself with what is available within your price range. Look at items like faucets, lighting fixtures, tile samples, windows, cabinets, sinks, door handles, door styles, trim options--all the stuff that you see around you in a house. If you are using a standardized floor plan instead of an architect, play around with the basic layouts to see if you can customize layouts to better suit your lifestyle. Check window placements and sizes, stairwell locations, etc. Collect lots of pictures of features that you like.  The more information you can bring to the meetings with your builder, the easier it is for the builder understand what you want and to estimate costs and timelines. Listen to your builder's advice if you are unsure of which way to go on something. He (or she) has built more houses than you and can give you lots of ideas and alternatives if you seem receptive. Don't, however, expect your builder to mediate between you and your partner--work out your disagreements in private. Be flexible. A good builder wants a happy client, but some people are impossible to please. Don't sweat every little detail. You'll often get a better job if you ask your tile person to pick the best grout color to show off your gorgeous tiles than if you drive yourself crazy looking a samples of grey powder. And does it really matter what shade of dark grey shingles are on the roof? But also keep an eye on things by regularly visiting the construction site, especially when the house gets into the finishing stages. You can catch small errors before they become bigger issues. You need those electrical outlets on the island. Changing plans costs money. If you don't like something, your builder can change it but it will add to the overall cost--and maybe your move-in date. Be judicious about what must be changed and what you can live with--see above: be flexible. Problems will arise and mistakes will happen, but if both you and your builder keep the lines of communication open and have a good sense of what you are trying to accomplish, you'll get the house you want without having any horror stories to tell your friends--or be the subject of horror stories among the contractors. Oh, and by the way, when we signed our contract in October, our builder told us the completion date for our house would be May 1, and that is exactly the date on which we moved in to our new home. Good builders are not usually the cheapest, but they pride themselves on delivering a quality product on time, which, to me, seems like a better option. ironkurtin on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983434 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 03:33:48 +0000 ironkurtin 983434@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I suppose it might be different if you're doing one of those big developments where you get to pick from 4 floor plans, etc.  We never did.  Here's the deal. - It's a huge money and time commitment.  Enormous.  It will eat your life.  If you love these projects, then this is OK!  But if you don't, be prepared. - Contractors NEVER finish on time.  NEVER.  I know people who confidently expected to be in their house in 3-5 months.  (Quote: "Oh it won't take more than a few days to redo the bathroom.")  Riiiiiiight. - Do not depend on your project manager to get things done just because s/he is supposed to.  You must ride them ALL THE TIME.  They are running crews and trying to keep them all working or they will lose them.  That means they are constantly evaluating which job to put them on, and a lot of the time you lose.  Be a squeaky wheel.  Bitch and demand and expect the best.  Trust me.  Crack that whip. - Expect scope creep, roughly 1/3 the total cost again.  Things break, you change your minds, doorknobs can cost a LOT (who knew?!)  etc.  Don't tell anyone you have the money.  Just stockpile it because you need it. - Know exactly what you want.  Leave little room for debate or second-guessing.  If you fudge, there will be problems.  Decide, commit, and make a common cause with your husband or partner.  You MUST be a united front, or you will get "But your husband/wife said..."  and there's more $ and time peed away.  Make sure you both know what is happening and there is good communication between you and your spouse, between you and your PM.  BE organized.  Keep track of EVERYTHING.  You will need it! - Know what you can do yourself, and what you can't.  My husband wanted me to help him cut tile when I was 9 months pregnant.  Yeah.  No.  Let's pay someone for that, OK? GOOD LUCK! amiable on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983389 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 02:48:20 +0000 amiable 983389@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Suz said.  We're currently 'renovating' a house (i.e., it shoulda been bull dozed, but we were optimists, and instead are rebuilding it).  I knew the initial estimate of two months was pie-in-the-sky - it needed real work.  We've been at it about 4.5 YEARS now, and I'm guessing will be for another two-ish, before it'll even be liveable for us to move in to it. And it's cost about 3X what we hoped. But it has really grown us and our marriage in the process :) giddyup on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983382 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 02:39:27 +0000 giddyup 983382@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We literally did build our own house-mostly. It took us 5 years for it to be completed enough to move in and another 7 to finish some details. I swore we were not going to be those people that took forever to build their house but well, we were. Blood,sweat and many a tear were shed in the process lol! However, we LOVE it.  We subcontracted out the plumbing,drywall,stucco and a couple finish work details. We mostly had very good experiences with all of the contractors but you are still on their time frames. What makes it stressful is everything seems to cost more and takes longer. We paid as we built so it used up all our money and OUR TIME.Oh boy, our lives just revolved completely around building and funding the house. We argued over some pretty crazy stuff like a closet light in a kids room-couldn't tell you why now, but my husband ended up writing a song about it lol! My husband and I also have similar tastes But we also had a lot of fun planning and seeing it all come together..Make sure you get a highly recommended builder and do you your homework about materials,pricing, building standards etc. We also used an architect and that was completely worth it as he suggested some great design details we wouldn't have thought of. Also, it is important to decide ahead of time what your priorities are in a house. And here's a tough one, others may disagree but realize, there may at the end of it be a couple things that may not be perfect or perhaps better thought out and you may have to just let it go. We do though, absolutely love our house and it really is great to be able to live in a house that you planned.  Krista on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983376 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 02:23:01 +0000 Krista 983376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So, um, I have one of these so-called husbands who doesn't have opinions on things like this..... Until it's time to have an opinion on these things! Seriously, when we moved into our current place three years ago, we had to do a lot of work to get it liveable. In our previous home, my husband would always say "sure whatever you want....go ahead.... Do what you like..." So I figured it would be the same this time around. Not so. There was a time in the process when I was so frustrated that I took the hoodie I was wearing, put the hood over my head and pulled the strings so tight around my face that just my nose was peeking out, sunk to the floor and sat cross-legged, whining "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care" over and over again. I think we were arguing over something like how many coats of paint had to be painted on the walls of the room I was painting at the time. For the record, I was painting the room with Benjamin Moore's Aura paint, which has a primer in it and only needs one coat. Hence my reaction to the discussion about how many coats of paint I needed to put on the walls. Like others have mentioned,the amount of decisions that need to be made is completely overwhelming and it's amazing what you won't agree on. It was this brief renovating experience that made me conclude that marriage itself is a miracle. The great part is that I think it did ultimately make us closer as a couple, but it was a long road. "This, too, shall pass" should be the mantra of all couples who renovate or build! cheryle (Dianthus) on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983334 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 01:49:07 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 983334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ They have all the cards and you have none.  The contract is written to give them rights and you little if any recourse should things go off the rails. Delays and more delays.  You try to plan and allow a large cushion of time, but still have issues. Making selections for everything from flooring to paint to light fixtures.  Everything has a price tag and it isn't unusual to add $50K or more to the base price.  On the plus side, you can modify the layout to meet your specific needs and everything is what you selected.  I have a few issues with the house that aren't yet resolved so I may be looking through blue lenses instead of rose colored lenses.  Suz on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983257 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 00:15:18 +0000 Suz 983257@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bunch of things....I have not built a house but I have lived through two HUGE renovations. So I sort of know about this. Renovations can be worse if you have to live in the house while it is underway...as I did. Our marriage is still intact, which may be a miracle.  Some of the issues:  Timelines -- almost never what they predict.  Costs -- always higher.  Decisions -- a million more than you ever thought you would have to make, particularly if you are picky. And if you and DH disagree, well..... Concerns about subcontractors doing a good job. Don't watch Mike Holmes or you will spook yourself. Or maybe watch him, to know what mistakes you are looking for.  Having said that, there is also excitement, a common project for you and DH, the joy of envisioning what will be, and simple FUN!!  claracluck on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983235 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 23:58:13 +0000 claracluck 983235@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ raisin all i'll say is if you can't be there every day yourselves get yourself a project manager because I know from building myself that builders will go off on tangents if not supervised. Raisin on "What IS it that's so stressful about building a house?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-is-it-thats-so-stressful-about-building-a-house#post-983139 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 22:19:03 +0000 Raisin 983139@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Debbie for inspiring me to make this post! So, going off of Debbie's thread on how she admire's anyone with the will to have a house built, what IS it that makes it so darn stressful? We are very seriously thinking of building next Spring, so honestly, as someone who is very new and naive to the building process, explain to me what the biggest headaches are? I have always heard that it's super stressful, and I believe it, I just want to know what we're in for.  I can think of a few things, but so far I don't think any of those things would cause me days and nights filled with dread.  For instance, I'm sure DH and I won't agree on every single detail, but I'm the woman so I get to decide, right?  HAHA!  Kidding, but no really, DH doesn't have much of an imagination so he usually just goes with what I think will look best.  And we do have extremely similar taste in things like style, decor, trim, building material, color, material, etc.  But it's not like we've done anything like this before!   Give me your horror stories, please!