https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 01:23:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-381095 Sat, 09 Jul 2011 00:51:30 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 381095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aida, I get the same thing. I tell people I live in Everett and they're all, "Oh, I'm sorry."</p> <p>I like it here! Though there are some trashy bits, like in every city. Once someone locally asked me if I was from out of town. Er... no. "Oh, well. You don't have long hair so I assumed you weren't from Everett." ???</p> <p>I find many men are extremely hung up on 'girls have long hair' and feel like it is open season in making comments to that effect. I was renting a car once and so the gentleman had to look at my license, which has a picture of me with long hair. He asked if I cried when it got cut. My response was a simple, "Nope!" Seriously, MYOB. I need a snappy come back, because I am not sure why men feel like they are welcome to comment on women's appearances in that way. I usually just let their stupid remarks float awkwardly in the air hoping they'll feel stupid. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380689 Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:45:47 +0000 rosee 380689@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I get common ones:</p> <p>- I look younger than I am -- unless I don't dye my grey roots, then I look a little older.</p> <p>- I tend to have the "generic ethnic" look so I get mistaken for a Latina or any Mediterranean culture. I do speak some Spanish, but when in Latin American communities, they assume I speak more than I do b/c I am "one of them". Greek people think I am Greek (I know a few words). I've also been mistaken for Egyptian, Italian (I speak a little Italian), Armenian and Arabic.<br /> The only time I wasn't happy about this was shortly after 9/11 when traveling to Europe. I was seemingly randomly chosen and went through a major security check in Frankfurt (went through all my bags, took away my passport, wouldn't let me move for over half an hour and didn't speak to me except for questioning, etc), only to be released when one security guard recognized my cultural background from my unusual middle name. The other passengers who went through this all seemed to be Muslim (women wearing hijabs) and I was asked several times if I knew any of them or if I was traveling with them. I understand security is important but it was a very uncomfortable experience.</p> <p>- In university, for some reason, I was often assumed to be less intelligent than I was. I wasn't overly stylish and I went through a weight gain period for a couple of years, but when I was skinner and dressed better, I was either assumed to be not so smart, or conversely, a high-achieving student athlete. I did well in school but I was somewhere in the middle of those 2 stereotypes.</p> <p>- If I am taking care of children (and I often do), people assume they are mine -- even if they are totally different looking from me, like some fair-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde girls I take care of. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380627 Fri, 08 Jul 2011 13:54:36 +0000 D'Ellen 380627@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some wrong assumptions about me:</p> <p>People assume I'm confident...I'm not, I guess I've just learned how to look and act as if I am.</p> <p>People assume I was a popular cheerleader type in high school...I was actually a bookworm and a bit of a wallflower.</p> <p>People assume I'm afraid to get my hands dirty...and they're surprised to learn that my husband and I operated a farm for 15 years and my hands got very dirty indeed!</p> <p>People assume I'm a good housekeeper...I'm on Team Polished, but my house certainly isn't!</p> <p>People assume I'm younger than I am...and I never correct them on this point. : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380346 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 23:50:24 +0000 rae 380346@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Charmian, at least they got your ethnicity right - I sometimes wish I could lay a smack down in Hawaiian, just to show that it's bad to look down on someone based on an assumption. Too bad it's pretty much a dead language. :T</p> <p>Una, that is too funny! I staunchly refused to study Spanish because I resented the guilt. lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380345 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 23:48:31 +0000 taylor 380345@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have no idea what people assume about me...I know they have told me they are surprised...once they get to know me"</p> <p>How approachable I am<br /> How easily I laugh<br /> Almost nothing puts me off...from tattoos, crazy hair or piercings<br /> what a sick sense of humor I have<br /> I don't drink...but have fun being around those who have had a few:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380318 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 22:01:32 +0000 Charmian 380318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Anya + Aida: yay, well-dressed technical women of the world unite!! I also quickly usually disabuse my co-workers once I start weighing in on technical matters, but it usually takes a while since I'm soft-spoken. I try to tell myself that it's their loss, not mine, but I'm not always successful (see torn jeans).</p> <p>@Rachylou: thanks for the boost :)</p> <p>@Rae: I know exactly how you feel! I'm ethnically Chinese, though I was born in Seattle and speak very little Mandarin. When I lived in Beijing for a year, I got the "What's wrong with you that you don't speak your own language?" look ALL THE TIME. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380307 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 21:23:37 +0000 catgirl 380307@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, I get the Spanish-speaker assumption as well! I finally did learn to speak it, out of guilt. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380300 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 21:08:36 +0000 rae 380300@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People mostly think I am Hispanic, when I am Lithuanian/Polynesian. It doesn't bother me, except when people run up asking urgent questions in Spanish and I can't understand them. I always get that look like, "What's wrong with you that you don't speak your own language??" </p> <p>I also used to be very reserved, which made people think I was stuck up -- nope, I was just SCARED of you! I had been raised to not speak until spoken to, but after I tried to change that, I have less of an issue being misunderstood. </p> <p>Now, the fact that a few people think I'm a rich, westside brat based on my clothes just makes me laugh... if only they knew how little I actually spend. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380297 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 21:02:59 +0000 Heather 380297@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bravo, Aida! I couldn't agree more! Beauty and Brains! It IS possible!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380295 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:59:23 +0000 Aida 380295@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea.. perhaps it's because you don't sport the Everett Mullet ;)</p> <p>EDIT: Actually, there may be something to this. People often look shocked (or even sorry) when I say I live in Everett; I think people just assume it's "out in the boonies" and a bit trashy, so are surprised to see urban-(well)dressed residents. Personally, I love living out here, it's beautiful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380294 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:58:41 +0000 Aida 380294@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Chairman, no need to dress down! I'm also a programmer and very technically oriented in my work; in my field not only are there few who are so technically oriented, but also few women (the combo of both is so extremely rare, there are only a few of us globally). I've found that once I start talking people will quit assuming whatever, our brains will certainly show through </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380288 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:36:48 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 380288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No kidding, huh?</p> <p>I think part of it is that Seattle is pretty openly gay-friendly. I don't really stand out so much as look like a particular demographic, I guess. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380283 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:30:38 +0000 catgirl 380283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You'd fit in up here, RT. That's a very Alaskan look. There are lots of short-haired women in flannel shirts with tattoos and dogs, and not only are they NOT lesbians, they are right-wing Christians! Talk about wrong assumptions! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you/page/2#post-380281 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:28:38 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 380281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hrm, the only one I can think of currently is people assume I'm a lesbian. And it's not even homophobic or conservative folks that assume that.I had a gay friend tell me that SHE assumed I was one because:</p> <p>I have short hair<br /> Like dogs<br /> Have tattoos</p> <p>Er. Okay. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380253 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:10:12 +0000 rachylou 380253@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Charmian - that is so true about "technical credibility" and clothes. It's like no one is gonna let you near so much as a digital camera unless your clothes are worn and faded... and maybe even exactly the same day in and day out. "5 olive green polos and 5 well-washed Levis." </p> <p>I am at this moment trying out "dull colors and patterns." Have blown it by wearing yellow shoes... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380228 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:49:58 +0000 MsMary 380228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All I know is, after my nip/tuck tomorrow, people BETTER think I'm younger! ROFL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380213 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:36:01 +0000 rachylou 380213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>mmm...</p> <p>...younger (must be the shoes)<br /> ...an artist (must be the shoes)<br /> ...Filipina, Central Asian<br /> ...easy going and progressive<br /> ...i'm a talker </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380201 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:17:15 +0000 catgirl 380201@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, all of these things have been said to me, either by people who later became friends and told me their preconceptions (like "I had no idea you would be so irreverent") or by complete strangers. People have asked me how much I get paid for watching my son (to which my answer is "Not enough!"). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380167 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 18:23:46 +0000 Marley 380167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, there a few wrong assumptions that people make about me - and they are usually positive, so I kind of like them!</p> <p>Here's a few:<br /> * that I am an artisit<br /> * that I am a movie star or someone famous?<br /> * that I am an interior designer<br /> * that I am younger than what I am</p> <p>Things people are surprised about:<br /> * that I LOVE all sports and can talk circles around most guys when it comes to football and basektball<br /> * that I was for years a high-powered exec in a difficult challenging business<br /> * that I am a "Cat Lady" (think cat socks and tee-shirts, dangly cat earrings, cat purses and pins, etc. etc.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380154 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 18:04:45 +0000 Kate 380154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anya, that's amazing, GO YOU! </p> <p>I also find it fascinating that people assume that just because someone looks put together that they're high maintenance and spent a long time getting ready. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380144 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:56:13 +0000 Anonymous 380144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@ Charmian<br /> I SO GET YOU. I am programmer too ( even though I switched to Databases/BI from micro-controllers and embedded C) and I used to get the you're not wearing the programmer uniform* a lot . ( *Programmer uniform=T-shirt and Jeans and Sneakers ).<br /> My advice : own who you are. Maybe I am high maintenance and girl y, that doesn't make me less technical or less smart.<br /> Can I put an anecdote here?<br /> I was in a special study group for physics in high school. There were 3 boys a very misogynistic teacher and me. One day I was a bit late: And the teacher told me ( much to the amusement of the boys) "Are you late because you had to do you mani?" . I said no and we took a test. I finished first, I had an intensive week-end , I was confident and told the teacher: "Can I braid my hair while you boys finish these?"<br /> Well, I was never teased for being girl y again. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380137 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:47:54 +0000 Heather 380137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting thread!</p> <p>It is like three truths and a lie (maybe more). ;)</p> <p>It makes me sad that dressing nicely equates to unintelligence for some people/some professions. You ladies need to prove them wrong! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380136 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:44:36 +0000 Jonesy 380136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not sure...no one ever shares their incorrect assumptions with me :)! Well, here's one: Sometimes other (usually older, and male) academics think I'm a student when I'm at conferences, but I can quickly challenge that perception. And as I get more gray in my hair I'm sure that will change... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380133 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:41:00 +0000 Kate 380133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, people are shocked by my tattoo too. But it seems to be acquaintances and people who know me (but not really well) who think of me as super rational/logical and always planning and thinking ahead. Their notion is often that people with tattoos are more free-spirited, leap before you look types. So far as I know, strangers don't make many assumptions about whether I have ink (at least nobody has ever said anything to me about it), but people who think that they know me are a different story.</p> <p>In general, I think that acquaintances' assumptions have larger implications than strangers' assumptions. They tend to be based on some kind of observation or limited information, and can be difficult to change, even when they see evidence that challenges their assumptions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380089 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 16:48:05 +0000 Astrid 380089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like with Kate, people often guess I'm younger than I really am. I always get controlled twice if we go out and they are often surprised to see I'm already 21 (for those that don't know, in Germany you are of age with 18). And I get adressed informally all the time! It's easy in English with the universal "you", but it's not so easy with our "Du" and "Sie". I was at the eye specialist yesterday (I got the prescription for new specs, btw) and she knew my year of birth because she had my personal information. And she said "Du" all the same, then she noticed it and changed to "Sie" and told my she was sorry, but I would look SO young.<br /> And I was always thought to be bookish and boring in school, because I always had a book with me and was rather quiet. When we finished school we celebrated and I know many people that didn't know me well were surprised I would dance and drink beer and stuff. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380071 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 16:15:58 +0000 Diana 380071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I worry that people will think I am not a serious scientist because of the way I dress.<br /> I think that people might also assume that I am high-maintenance and ladylike.</p> <p>And, not fashion related, but people who don't know me well definitely often think I am stuck up and aloof, when in reality I am really shy and don't like to make small talk! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380067 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 16:09:55 +0000 catgirl 380067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, which comment were you referring to? </p> <p>I love how you are always able to take away a new positive approach to everything! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380057 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 15:52:14 +0000 Charmian 380057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm soft-spoken and "nice", and I'm a programmer. Because of this, I am mistaken for non-technical or "lesser-technical" roles (eg, a technical writer, a product manager, etc.)</p> <p>Sometimes, I deliberately dress down in the hopes that strangers will trust my technical chops more. Yesterday, I wore torn jeans and a graphic tee to work (my company's dress code is "clothed"), but the sloppiness of the jeans drove me crazy. I'm not sure what to do here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380047 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 15:40:19 +0000 Mo 380047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to argue my ethnicity last year to some guys in the bar visiting from Boston. They swore I had to be Jewish. I explained I am no religion, but whatever - they had their ideas and I wasn't going to convince them.<br /> I also sometimes think others perceive me as daintier than I am. But I am the gal who swims across the lake rather than bathes in the sun on the shore.<br /> Strangers may also assume I'm not as smart as I am. Always an honor student, but never fit in that crowd. I suppose many assume waitresses to be doing that work because they're not smart enough to do other things. Several of my coworkers are actually teachers with college degrees that make more money in the restaurant than teaching at the high school, sadly.<br /> Anyway, outside of work I think most people see me as an average gal going about her day . . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-incorrect-assumptions-do-people-make-when-they-look-at-you#post-380037 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 15:27:41 +0000 Aziraphale 380037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think people assume that because I'm little and cute, I am also sweet. I'm not. I'm willful and forthright, and I've got the sense of humour of a fourteen-year-old boy. :-)</p> <p>Back when I used to teach science, people would often ask if I taught kindergarten (what? I'm useless -- totally flustered and irritable -- with groups of small children, although I quite like them one-on-one), and when I said no, I teach high school, they would almost invariably assume I was either an English teacher or an art teacher. </p>