YouLookFab Forum » Topic: What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 16 Apr 2026 03:22:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php ironkurtin on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1195827 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 20:25:10 +0000 ironkurtin 1195827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ha!  Thanks!  I'm just picturing my accountant saying, "Okay, the books and movies I understand, Miss Pop Culture Writer, but the four pairs of leather pants...?" deb on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1195783 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 19:28:04 +0000 deb 1195783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ IK, we need a thumbs up button for great comments like your last one. ironkurtin on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1195746 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 18:42:29 +0000 ironkurtin 1195746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks! They are awesome btw - there seems to be a new way of binding a cotton lining to the leather for really skinny, breathable, washable leather! Mine are by Vince and I got them off eBay for less than $100. I love them so much I'm wondering if I can write off two pairs... mrseccentric on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1195744 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 18:40:00 +0000 mrseccentric 1195744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ oh, and also i think leather leggings are brilliant!!!  Psychological 'armor', fantastic conversation starter, very Dana. Well done. steph mrseccentric on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1195739 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 18:37:51 +0000 mrseccentric 1195739@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ "Just think, I can write them off." haha, and when i was about to lose faith in a just and bountiful universe..... Can't wait to hear your report!  Or, at least what you can let us know without breaching confidentiality of work or attendees. Happy Saturday! stpeh ironkurtin on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1187756 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 17:01:46 +0000 ironkurtin 1187756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Leather leggings purchased!  Just think, I can write them off. mrseccentric on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/4#post-1187536 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 13:12:43 +0000 mrseccentric 1187536@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Believe it or not, i actually have a bit of experience to help address your query.*** And Angie completely hit the nail on the head - especially if you are shy, you want to have your 'elevator' line about why you're there and what you're doing, as well as about 20 good lead-in questions to start interviews going for your project. No matter how you present yourself, someone is going to take it 'that' way. That said, i'd dress so you feel comfortable and strong. A bit of 'armor' will not hurt you in the psychological dept, so some type of structured topper (leather jacket perfect) would not be amiss. And no sneakers! They'll make you look like you want to run away! And since this is a costume con thing, bad-@ss ,shoes can be the perfect conversation starter, and showcase your common love of clothing. Just have your questions ready at hand and remember that 'no thank you' are the three most important words in the aenglish language  Have fun! steph *** used to hang out with my bf Joe in the sf gay scene in the early 1980's (before AIDS). Even i, girly that i am, got hit on but just be nice and polite and interested and you'll do fine.  VernieJane on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1187443 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 08:49:39 +0000 VernieJane 1187443@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You should just be natural and casual. Something that is pretty in a natural way, not in a way that says you are looking for anything. Like a reporter, in fact! Jeans and a t shirt with a blazer and ankle boots...something...intellectual? Glasses.... Post your article after! Sounds great! PJ on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1187396 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 06:53:03 +0000 PJ 1187396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would wear something like this ( the pic) it's sophisticate and not revealing. It still blend you in without screaming for attention. Make sure you wear it with black tight. Also, I also believe that our attitude would send out the message what we really want and what are we here for :) I'm anxious to hear the result of this research:) CocoLion on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1187372 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 06:17:49 +0000 CocoLion 1187372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would want to look attractive like I'm going out for the night, I wouldn't want to do jeans and sneakers, in a way out of respect to the other people there (because you don't want to act above them), but also so that you feel good about yourself.  Going out for the night, as in out for dinner or drinks and music in a more chic way not pizza night.   I'm really impressed that you have taken this on.  I think it takes creativity and courage to take on an assignment like this. Jenava on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1187336 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 05:30:39 +0000 Jenava 1187336@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You probably have all the replies you need, but I say dress normally for a night out.  Be prepared to re-buff a lot, but for the sake of research you'll want to chat people up.  You'll be fine.  Have fun, be curious and open-minded! Sal on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1187214 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 03:26:21 +0000 Sal 1187214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What an interesting fashion dilemma. I think I would wear jeans or dark trousers, boots or loafers or similar flat shoes, some sort of dark jacket or flowy top.  Something casual, funky but not too form fitting or cleavage oriented. I hope it does well for you. rachylou on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186859 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 21:43:48 +0000 rachylou 1186859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The danger is not necessarily acute... but you know, after the broad "education" of my youth, I do think I have to say there are other "slow" dangers when it comes to going subcult. And I don't mean germs, although that's a big yuck if you ask me. A lot of my peers when I was young had parents into the various scenes out there - it's not a great life for the children. Mander on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186201 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:25:41 +0000 Mander 1186201@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'd totally go with you if I were there. I find all kinds of human variation interesting as an anthropologist, be it sexual proclivities, religion, dress sense, food, what have you. I suppose I spent enough time in goth clubs in my youth to not be at all intimidated by fetish gear, weird costumes, and so on. While you do of course want to maintain your minimum safety awareness like you would on any night out, I don't think it is inherently more dangerous because it is an overt "sex" club. Probably the opposite, really, since you say they don't serve alcohol and I would imagine the regular patrons are keen to avoid trouble. I would wear whatever I would normally wear to a bar (nice jeans, low heels, interesting top, some sort of funky jacket, big earrings) and just hang out at a table and watch. Sile Indigo on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186136 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 06:02:56 +0000 Sile Indigo 1186136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'd have to agree with the person who mentioned something silk.  Silk is always sexy, even if it's a more covered-up outfit.  And definitely something you feel comfortable and attractive in!  I think to get the best perspective, you'll want to look like you fit in there.   And I also want to hear the continuation of this story!!  ; ) Jeanie on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186131 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 05:54:28 +0000 Jeanie 1186131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ IK, did you see this in the club rules? For Men, please dress to impress. No sneakers, sandals, ball caps, t-shirts, shorts. For Ladies, sexy, wild and see thru are always acceptable. At a minimum, think business casual… JAileen on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186086 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 04:32:45 +0000 JAileen 1186086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't know anything about swingers clubs, or sex clubs, but it was really fun reading through this thread! One day we were reading our local free weekly paper, and there was an article about someone we knew who sewed sex wear. Knock me over with a feather! unfrumped on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186071 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 04:19:44 +0000 unfrumped 1186071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You may be asking the wrong crowd. Ask Google. Echo on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186045 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 03:55:09 +0000 Echo 1186045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would dress to fit in, but not entirely outside my comfort zone, if that makes sense. You will get fewer looks and less suspicion if you blend in, and having someone with you will almost certainly help eliminate unwanted attention. But I would think you wouldn't have as "authentic" an experience if you dressed "normally" while, say, everyone else was in costume. You should at least wear club wear. But these clubs tend to have a lot of regulars, and you won't get as much attention as you might think, just by virtue of being new. A lot of people would wait until they had seen you a few times before approaching you, so I doubt you will have any trouble just observing. rabbit on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1186014 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 03:28:47 +0000 rabbit 1186014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You lived next the shortbus place?  I love that movie.  So unexpectedly feel-good in a weird way.  I watched the mini-feature on how they collaboratively made it and that was interesting too. But yes, they made the club and all the patrons look very attractive, plus you had Justin Bond singing.   Anonymous on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185991 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 03:17:09 +0000 Anonymous 1185991@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I didn't know public places like this existed, but live a protected life. My first thought is to wear lots of Spanx, top and bottom, under your clothes and footwear you can run in but that can do damage if you kick. Seriously. I'm relieved that you are not going alone. Mary Beth (formerly LBD) on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185946 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 02:35:52 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1185946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ And yes... what Deb said!    If you're good with telling the story Mary Beth (formerly LBD) on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185944 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 02:35:20 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1185944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I used the wrong word.   I should say... don't worry about censoring yourself via style your style, because I think Angie has the right of it.   What you wear is less important than being able to give a firm "no thank you" without feeling funny about doing so. deb on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185942 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 02:34:28 +0000 deb 1185942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a general question.... Will we get an update on this venture in the Off Topic category, please?  ironkurtin on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185893 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 02:02:19 +0000 ironkurtin 1185893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ La Belle - Some good points.  I'm not going to interview anyone though, just gather general impressions. And the Yelp reviews say it can be very casual (Austin is generally very casual so I am not surprised.  If I were in NYC, you bet I would have to dress to the nines, although the sex club I mention in Brooklyn above was dirty t-shirts and jeans.) I'm sorry I gave you the impression I was judgmental.  I do believe I can write good erotica without wanting to perform the acts personally or in public, though.  That's why it's fantasy.  My goal is to seee how women interact and behave there, because the Yelp reviews say some women feel worshiped and empowered by going, and I want to see how that works so I can channel it.  Or if I don't see it, ignore it. Mary Beth (formerly LBD) on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185888 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:55:39 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1185888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My thoughts on this: I think you should dress for the situation.   I went to this sort of club once, with a friend who asked me, strictly as an observer.  I wore a slinky dress that had a high neck, and hit about two inches above my knees, and a pair of heeled sandals, because it was warm weather.   (I have worn this outfit to an outdoor wedding on the beach).   My experience was that, while people did come up and say hello, there was usually a sort of guarded watchfulness - so if someone actually gathers the nerve to make any advances, you only have to politely decline, and people in this setting are usually very respectful of 'No, thank you'.    If you are going to write erotica that sells (and makes you some money!), it needs to come from an objective, non-judgemental viewpoint.   And if this particular erotica is based on your personal observations and experiences, again, your observations should come from an objective, non-judgemental frame of mind - especially if your goal is true, honest research and feedback from the people you observe and/or interview.   I guess what I am saying is, if you deliberately dress in a frumpy or ultra-conservative manner - people around you may change their behaviors or avoid your proximity altogether - even if you never so much as say hello or make eye contact.   Be prepared to see a very wide range of age, body types, and array of clothing, or, ahem, none at all.    That didn't weird me out, because when I lived in Japan, I used to go to the local bathhouse.   I am not really bothered by nudity.  What did weird me out was that there was a food buffet - and clouds and clouds of cigarette smoke, because the venue allowed smoking indoors.  Yuck.   At the end of our visit (we stayed about 90 minutes, I think), I didn't feel the need to burn my clothes, but that dress did have to go to the dry-cleaners for the cigarette smoke. Isabel on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185873 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:33:44 +0000 Isabel 1185873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ LOL . Yeah, no tree, potentially too attractive. All I have to say is that YLF will not only help me look better for the next dinner party I attend, I will be THE best conversationalist. And for that I thank you ( and Rachylou ). : ) ironkurtin on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185866 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:28:29 +0000 ironkurtin 1185866@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Isabel, my iphone once corrected "vagina" to "Vulcan."  Maybe it's a "where no man has gone before" thing.  Although "teacher" to "slut" is a bigger leap... I am not dressing as a tree. Rachylou, the link is in my answer to Vildy on page 1. <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/players-club-austin" rel="nofollow">http://www.yelp.com/biz/players-club-austin</a> They do not dress to the nines.  And it looks like the women are hot and the men are not, which strikes me as absolutely not shocking at all. Isabel on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185861 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:24:55 +0000 Isabel 1185861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OK, this IS nuts. I looked up the tree thing.. There is something called object sexuality. No kidding. It involves someone falling in love with an object. There apparently is a woman named Erika Eiffel who married the Eiffel Tower. IK, go as a tree, maybe ? The Eiffel Tower would be over the top, no ? Not to mention risky. It drives women nuts apparently. rachylou on "What do you wear to a swinging singles club if you don't want to swing?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-wear-to-a-swinging-singles-club-if-you-dont-want-to-swing/page/3#post-1185859 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:24:09 +0000 rachylou 1185859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh I missed the Yelp link (and still don't see it). Forget what I said before - they have a dress code. You should dress to the nines. I see it's "on premise." *** Isabel ... LOL. Full circle indeed. Aubergine... Trees. Full stop. It's all live 'n learn, eh?