https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 09 Jun 2026 03:54:31 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129572 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:48:02 +0000 taylor 129572@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy had the million dollar response LOVED it!!:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129568 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:39:19 +0000 Anonymous 129568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, that made me break out laughing! Do you think you would have said one of those things?<br /> This neighbor is very very thrifty and style is not important to her. When I say she had skinny jeans on, I mean she wore some jeans because they were cheap and she could button them, irregardless of the looks.<br /> This is how she talks, "Oh cute shoes, how much did you pay for those?" Me, "Oh about $100". Her, "gasp, I have never paid $100 for a pair of shoes in my life!" Me, "gasp, you're kidding."<br /> Now that I think about it, she did make some comments while in Nordstrom's that she is only wearing what she was because she is retired now, sort of making excuses for her look. I guess she must have felt somewhat sloppy and tried to make up for it.<br /> That would be a whole other YLF Blog post wouldn't it. 'The things People Say When You're Looking Sharp, and They are Not.'<br /> I guess that sentence is my revenge! :)<br /> She also has the type of personality to want to tell people what to do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129482 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:04:44 +0000 Anonymous 129482@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, that neighbor is really something! I wondered if she was really thinking, "I'd love to look like San but George would never allow it."<br /> Not recommended, but I'm afraid my comment would have been (said with great disbelief), "Are you saying that George finds me sexy?!" or maybe "Oh, you poor thing! No wonder you always look so dowdy." Please know that you look gorgeous. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129476 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 20:43:10 +0000 tarzy 129476@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San - I just saw some recent pics of you (I've been away from the forum for a while) and MY GOD! You are incredibly stylish and totally FAB! I remember when you first started your fashion journey, and for me, you have achieved a level of sophistication, experimentation, and confidence that is awesome to see. Your hair, your glasses, your clothes, your boots - fab, fab, fab, fab. I am blown away by you!</p> <p>I wish you were my neighbor/shopping partner! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129438 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:42:59 +0000 Boof 129438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isn't there a saying out there about how we can hear 100 positive comments and one negative...and we remember the one negative. You are such a lovely person! You can totally let this negative experience go. I think only the classiest of people would extend such a fun offer (shopping, lunch, etc.) to a newly retired neighbor.</p> <p>Your neighbor sounds remarkably like my Grandmother. She is very bossy and says exactly what she thinks with no filter whatsoever (usually negative or insulting). I love her, but in small doses...and none of us in the family take her criticism too seriously. :o) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129430 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:10:23 +0000 Kari 129430@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, I'm shocked that anyone would even imply that you are immodest. You are *so* far from it! I suspect there is some jealousy and lack of confidence coloring her words. Too bad for her that she missed her chance to pick up some valuable shopping tips from YOU. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129415 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 17:08:03 +0000 cciele 129415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, your neighbor need to think before talking! I am glad you have the confidence in the way you dress because you do it beautifully. </p> <p>I've heard (here and other places) that some guys don't like the way skinny pants look on women. Who knows why. As far as taking one's husband's opinion into account, in some cases it's a matter of compromise for marital harmony, but in others, it's a control issue. I know women who would insist their husbands not wear that favorite Hawaiian shirt or band t-shirt when going out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129406 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:49:25 +0000 Sihaya 129406@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow San. Sorry you had to go through this. Great that you didn't grace this with a reply or reaction. Sounds like you're still a bit "hooked" by it if you're wondering which part she didn't consider modest. I would encourage you to let go of that. You rock style and let others thing what they will. As for this woman, she needs to learn the meaning of the word t-a-c-t and m-a-n-n-e-r-s. I have had many people say many extremely rude things to me over the years as I tend to buck tradition and as a result push buttons frequently. I have learned to that this is not me, this is them and that they are just clueless about what's coming out of their mouths and the possible impact it can have on others. Later, I have great jokes coming out of some of them that I can relate without pointing any fingers. And it's validating at that point as others get a laugh out of it too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129399 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:21:00 +0000 Maya 129399@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Claudia...I am speechless. So you should grow your hair to impress her husband? What is the point of saying something like that?</p> <p>Hair seems to bring out the cattiness in some women. I noticed this a lot reading the WNTW forum, which is by nature chock full of insecure women. I can't tell you the number of times I heard "MEN LIKE LONG HAIR" as their reasoning. How my heart weeps for them, especially considering how very wrong they are. Men are not one unanimous blob. When I was a teen, the boys I had crushes on were always the edgy ones who loved short funky hair. Obviously I didn't take that too seriously though, because my hair has varied in length between chin length and mid-back for years, and at any given time and any given hair length, I have found boys/men (depending on my age) who like me just fine! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129396 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:07:51 +0000 Claudia 129396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Since we are sharing have-you-ever stories, here's mine:</p> <p>I have worn my hair short, a cut just like Angie's for about 15 years. (I am one of those people that actually looks better in short hair, having worn it both ways over the years).</p> <p>At a new job, a woman in the office commented to me "My husband would divorce me if I ever came home with my hair cut like that. He hates short hair on women." </p> <p>Thanks, good to know... thanks for sharing that unsolicited opinion... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129394 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:49:58 +0000 Queen Mum 129394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San- there are so many people like that-- I remember when we had first moved into our house a neighbor came to visit. As she looked in my kitchen she said "oh, laminate... I had the granite put into mine" LOL I just love those type of people from afar </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129391 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:44:37 +0000 Louise 129391@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>After the third time of reading i'm ready to answer! Don't pay one bit of notice to this woman, she's either rude, jealous or totally unstylish (or all 3!) You are an inspiration to us all, keep on doing exactly what you do xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129380 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:11:22 +0000 Mellllls 129380@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, I don't often shop at Sears or Nordstrom but I would have thought there is a difference in price point between the two. San takes the neighbor to Nordstrom, the neighbor takes San to Sears. Also, a lot of retired people I know rarely buy new clothes and skinny jeans and boots are a relatively new look (although San says she was in fact wearing skinny jeans so I don't think this is the issue). Being in a worse financial condition than others can make people say things they wouldn't normally, that is all I was saying. It doesn't make it right.<br /> San, I really hope just minimizing your contact with this woman will solve your problem. You shouldn't have to give up your home </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129341 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 08:51:53 +0000 Anonymous 129341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thankyou everyone. Re reading this helps immensely because if I hadn't written it down and gotten feed back from you, it may have gotten to be a bigger deal in my head than it is.<br /> I was shocked speechless at first, as time goes on I feel she is rude and bossy. I choose to not carry a grudge over the fence line and to keep a certain amount of distance.<br /> I am still very curious about exactly what it was that was not modest enough? The boots over jeans? The skinny pants?<br /> In actuality, her pants looked like ill fitting skinny jeans too. They were not loose by any means, just a little ill fitting and baggy in the rear. It must be the boots that she feels are not appropriate. I suppose I shouldn't be playing this guessing game with myself. She probably has her personality querks and I won the lotto of living next door to her. Oh well she is nice most of the time. However I have told my husband many times that she is so bossy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129335 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 08:27:11 +0000 RoseandJoan 129335@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also read the post twice San and my interpretation was</p> <p>I'm too modest to wear something like that = I do not have the confidence to wear something like that. I think she possibly felt insecure especially in light of her husbands control over her wardrobe. Perhaps she is not allowed to shop at Nordies?</p> <p>However there is no excuse for rudeness and I think you coped admirably with the situation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever/page/2#post-129296 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:45:37 +0000 LoP 129296@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, That is one rude person, but I agree with Chris that I wouldn't take it too seriously or judge her for that. She might even be complaining about her husband and steaming that way. Just think how fortunate we all are to be even discussing it here.</p> <p>I have a similar story... I was helping a computer science colleague to shop and she told a day before to another colleague that she asked my help to pick up a few things. The other colleague said " Why would you do that... she dresses like a girl!". When she told me the story while we were shopping, I said "We are not girls, we are women and it would be against our nature to dress like a boy." and we had a big laugh. Now I get a kick out of acting like a girl (!!) every time I see the person who commented like that, LOL! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129291 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:30:48 +0000 judy 129291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to chime in on the moral support for you San! </p> <p>I read it twice also. At first, it just seemed rude. But on second read, I actually think she was (rudely) saying you looked sexy! I wonder if maybe next to you she felt kind of well, not so fab, and that is how she dealt with feeling awkward. Honestly, I bet you inspired her in a way. She obviously needs some lessons, in shopping and in manners! </p> <p>I liked AJ's suggestion of asking questions in these situations. Being curious instead of reacting is an art! Not easy to do when we're feeling embarrassed. Whatever you do, don't lose confidence, San. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129286 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:24:27 +0000 Anonymous 129286@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, that is so funny! What a sight that would be. I guess she'd soon forget all about me and what I wear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129285 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:19:47 +0000 Maya 129285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was just thinking now of how funny it would be to have San's neighbor meet Khris' friends. I think she'd have an apoplexy seeing them running around in their immodest leggings-as-pants! </p> <p>Sorry, I'm very mean... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129282 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:10:03 +0000 chewyspaghetti 129282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't judge her too harshly San. Some people really don't have that little mechanism that tells them to swallow a comment because it might be hurtful. I am one of those people, too, and try as I might I still find things occasionally falling out of my mouth that should not be. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129266 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:27:57 +0000 Anonymous 129266@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thankyou all for your comments. I guess somewhere in her background/childhood, it seems normal for her to say such things.<br /> I might have to look for a new house when the market picks up as she lives right next door to me and now that she's retired there will be more opportunity for one on one time, not that I'll be inviting her to go to the mall with me again.<br /> Thankfully I have YLF approval on my outfit so I don't have to take what she said too seriously. That could really mess with my mind.<br /> You guys are so sweet, and I appreciate the moral support so much. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129264 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:24:50 +0000 Debora 129264@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh San, I bet you looked beautiful, and I'm also willing to bet that your husband thinks you look beautiful and is proud to be seen with you. This friend, if she can be called that, sounds so, so jealous. Perhaps she is just clueless, but she seems passive-aggressive to me. I've had a few friends like this over the years and I've found that what was best for me was to limit my contact with them. I also think that you handled the situation with your trademark grace and tact.</p> <p>Boy, I'm getting steamed! Nobody but nobody picks on our San! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129262 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:20:53 +0000 Misia 129262@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's so crazy, what was THAT modest dressing neighbor wearing? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129256 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 02:59:29 +0000 Angie 129256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Touché, Isabel. </p> <p>Melllls, I’d like to understand what you mean. </p> <p>Oh my dear, Sandy. I also had to read your story twice. I don’t think people realize what’s coming out of their mouths. Or, they do and they intentionally want to hurt. People often react in this way when they feel insecure – they need to defend their thoughts and sense of dress by finding fault in someone else. It’s very unfortunate that you of ALL people were the recipient of such unclassy behaviour. I’m glad that you didn’t react. It shows emotional intelligence. I’m proud of you :0)</p> <p>Please don’t let this experience beat down your confidence. Think of where it came from, accept it as irrational and try to forget about it. You are one KILLER rocking stylish lady who is an inspiration to us all. (((HUGS))). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129253 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 02:54:04 +0000 Alecia 129253@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, jeeze! She should be the embarassed one. San, you are an inspiration. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129230 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 01:16:28 +0000 Kristine 129230@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>She sounds a bit stodgy. It's only fair that next time should be your turn. Get her in some skinnies. She'll probably feel so fab her husband will never get her back out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129228 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 00:36:57 +0000 Michelle 129228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, this neighbour of yours is elevating my blood pressure. The nerve of her to feel the need to "teach" you how to shop because you have a different store preference! And the nerve of her to foist her husband's appalling, chauvinistic attitude on you too! I'm sending you reassuring hugs. I admire your tact; there's no way I would have been able to keep my mouth shut as you did! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129223 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 00:07:45 +0000 shana 129223@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, I'm sorry that you had to go through this! You are such a sweet person to have spent so long with someone trying to "educate" you without making a peep, especially considering what a fabulous, stylish person you are! It sounds like your response (i.e. no response) was probably for the best. Just don't let someone like this affect your self-confidence! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129217 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:29:10 +0000 Debbie 129217@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to read this twice. I was so appalled. You always look pulled together and wonderful. Some people have more nerve that brains. I can't wait to go shopping with you. I also had on skinny jeans and boots today. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-have-you-ever#post-129215 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:26:22 +0000 Laura 129215@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Stunned speechless! </p>