https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 08:54:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1089170 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 18:24:53 +0000 rachylou 1089170@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm reminded that "base compatability" and ability to conduct a relationship with others are two entirely different things.</p> <p>There's this older, unmarried couple in my neighborhood. Their relationship is something of a mystery, because they're both rather awful to each other. Not abusive, just routine awful. But I think the thing is, they're essentially a great match and would have a fantastic relationship if only they weren't so... peevish. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1089110 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 17:40:03 +0000 Anonymous 1089110@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>She who laughs last laughs best! &nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1088512 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 01:53:46 +0000 annagybe 1088512@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BWAHAHAHA! He just popped up in my OKCupid Quiver, which is a listing of people with high compatibility. A very LONG winded profile. He obviously does not know the phrase, "Brevity is the soul of wit".<br />Now, I'm totally snickering.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1088333 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 21:18:27 +0000 bella 1088333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry to hear that this guy was a jerk Anna. You deserve better.&nbsp;<br />I think somebody on the forum posted this a while ago (sorry, can't remember who)<br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating.html">http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_w.....ating.html</a></p> <p>I don't know if you've seen it, but I think she has 2 pieces of good advice.<br />1) how to create a profile that gathers a ton of responses (short, positive statements, somewhat revealing pictures)<br />2) to prioritize your expectations and be picky. In fact, I was struck by how she finally realized that her problem was not that she was too picky but that she wasn't picky enough.&nbsp;<br />Of course, I have no personal experience with online dating, so take it for whatever it's worth to you.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1088168 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 17:39:17 +0000 Scarlet 1088168@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, I really feel your pain. It is so easy to imagine how frustrating dating can be these days I would say you definitely dodged a bullet. I think a cat is a great idea, honestly. Pets can be such a joy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1087878 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 09:13:20 +0000 CocoLion 1087878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another vote for a cat or a dog! &nbsp;OK Cupid looks like a cool dating program so maybe give it a break, then come back to it? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1087854 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 07:23:01 +0000 soobee 1087854@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No advice annagybe, but OMFG what a pig.&nbsp; How dare he.&nbsp; Self centred, egotistical, thoughtless pig.&nbsp; I'm sorry he did this, some men just really suck.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1087836 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 06:31:12 +0000 Archer 1087836@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have got to come to Australia! </p> <p>I have so many people I know get to know other people online and it seems like a great place to get all the dross out of the way before you waste any more time on it. &nbsp;<br />&nbsp;I think if you chat with some Australian guys on line before you come you will have a great time. &nbsp;You are hilarious, unique and honest. &nbsp;They can get all that online then you can turn up and you are gorgeous. &nbsp;<br />I say - send them all your squirrel post and you will be off to a great start. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1087153 Sat, 16 Nov 2013 14:51:48 +0000 ironkurtin 1087153@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><a href="http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/" rel="nofollow">http://blog.okcupid.com/index......-you-back/</a></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1087136 Sat, 16 Nov 2013 14:28:33 +0000 Thistle 1087136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First off, this guy is a jerk and you are better off without him. Hollow, yes, especially with all you are feeling.</p> <p>I am really serious n this though. Think how self centered he is to ask this. How he can't possibly be even considering your feelings. You don't need that. So yes, you dodged a bullet.</p> <p>Get a cat. They love you forever and unconditionally. I recommend a Russian Blue. I have 2, and they are very affectionate. Love laps. Mine greets me at the door when I get home and hops on the table to say goodbye when I leave.</p> <p>That said, I got him when I had been through two back to back really bad long term relationships and had given up on men. He really helped emotionally as it was nice to have a not empty apartment and someone who was waiting for me.</p> <p>I eventually tried a dating club like you did, and it worked out horribly for me. Back then, there was no dating websites, so I figured I was destined to be alone with my cat and focus on my career. </p> <p>I did meet DH, but it was later, and by accident. I have no good advice to give there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1087077 Sat, 16 Nov 2013 11:51:21 +0000 Anonymous 1087077@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a jerk he was/is. And I know it sucks when people say to stop looking, so I won't say that either. Btw my DH isn't keen on the idea of us getting a cat :(. </p> <p>Sending hugs and raising up&nbsp;a virtual glass of wine to clink with yours. Onwards eh?</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1086948 Sat, 16 Nov 2013 04:25:21 +0000 JAileen 1086948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry the guy was a jerk. </p> <p>You should get a dog instead of a cat. You would meet lots of nice people (including guys) at the dog park. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1086578 Fri, 15 Nov 2013 21:58:36 +0000 Mander 1086578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a grade-A twerp.&nbsp; What on earth was he thinking?&nbsp; You have definitely dodged a bullet, even if knowing that doesn't make the pain of rejection any less.</p> <p>For a long time, I felt that I must be hopelessly repulsive in both appearance and personality, judging by the amount (practically zero) and type (lackluster or shallow) of romantic interest in me.&nbsp; I don't claim to know exactly how you feel, but I have an idea.&nbsp; The hurt of feeling utterly rejected has never gone away for me, even if I am now happily married. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1086118 Fri, 15 Nov 2013 15:06:31 +0000 Isabel 1086118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have people just lost all their decency ? &nbsp;It as if people are toys with no feelings. &nbsp;Geeeezzzzzzz. &nbsp; I would have sent him to the wastewater treatment facility. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Cats are lovely.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085818 Fri, 15 Nov 2013 03:49:15 +0000 Janet 1085818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to pop back in to say I know my words are of little consolation, coming from one of those happily coupled people. I really don't mean to be flip or insensitive, because I do know how much it sucks to want to share your life with someone when you can't seem to find them. </p> <p>Hugs and wine all around. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085722 Fri, 15 Nov 2013 02:20:32 +0000 Sveta 1085722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I cannot offer any advice, just hugs and good wishes!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085645 Fri, 15 Nov 2013 00:49:53 +0000 Beth 1085645@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So frustrating, Anna. Still, better to be alone than wish you were, as I learned the hard way from my first marriage.</p> <p>Also, Facebook is full of people's idealized lives so take those posts&nbsp;with a grain of salt.</p> <p>Finally, I had three cats when I met DH. Cats are great, and even if you find the perfect guy, you still need a cat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085565 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 23:35:04 +0000 Aida 1085565@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have no advice to give, but I would like to send hugs and wine over your way. That plain sucks. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085460 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:37:24 +0000 Kimberley 1085460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry you are feeling this way, annabyge.&nbsp;&nbsp;And yeah,&nbsp;it's sucky. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085450 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:26:29 +0000 ironkurtin 1085450@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My feed is full of people getting divorced.</p> <p>I believe there is a lid for every pot. All you can do is try on lids. If it's fated, it will happen. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085428 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:10:17 +0000 Mochi 1085428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I saw that I crossposted with Anna and also that I didn't clarify that my last post was addressed to MaryK.&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway, I'm very sorry it's been so difficult for you, Anna. It doesn't help to hear that so many people are in the same boat, lots of the marrieds are in unhappy marriages, etc etc. I also have no advice for you. It just stinks, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and have all my excellent, deserving&nbsp;friends get matched up to awesome people.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085422 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:07:12 +0000 Anonymous 1085422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ditto to what RoseandJoan said. It's awful you have to go through this. I hope things get better for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085416 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:02:40 +0000 RoseandJoan 1085416@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry this is hard and you keep getting hurt. I have no advice to offer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin/page/2#post-1085415 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:02:38 +0000 Anonymous 1085415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I most definitely get it. I'm on my second married, which is thankfully a happy one. It was my lousy first marriage, divorce and mercifully brief period of single motherhood that prompted me to post what I did. I'd rather be single than be in a bad, abusive&nbsp;or dysfunctional&nbsp;relationship. I value myself too highly to allow myself to be mistreated and disrespected. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin#post-1085361 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:26:18 +0000 Mochi 1085361@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ouch, I get it, and you're right, you're not even divorced (but may as well be) and the approaching holidays must weigh heavily.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also wanted to go back to the church thing because I remembered something that is at least amusing to me. My cousin was born and raised Jewish (in that secular way a lot of us have, but still, it's a cultural marker). And she and her Catholic husband wanted some kind of spirituality or community or something and shopped around for a church. They ended up becoming Baptists basically because people in that church were nice to them! To me it's kind of ridiculous, but on the other hand if that's what was important to her....</p> <p>(just stay away from Scientology, please &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin#post-1085358 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:25:31 +0000 Anonymous 1085358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you want a cat, get a cat.</p> <p>I'd rather be alone than be with someone who makes my life miserable, and the guy you describe sounds like the ultimate jerk. You're better off without him.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin#post-1085357 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:24:57 +0000 annagybe 1085357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What MaryK said times 1000.<br /> I really don't think a lot of you get it. In the last five years I've been on match.com, eHarmony and now OkCupid. I paid a small fortune to join a local singles activity club because the recruiter said look what happened to me, and flashed her big diamond ring. Since I got suckered into a lifetime membership I still go to their events. I met one really good friend through the group and I call her jokingly my very expensive friend.<br /> Work is not conducive to meeting people, I don't do the bar scene.<br /> I hike, I ski; both hugely Seattle activities. I have friends, I go out with friends. I can make new friends so I'm not completely socially inept.<br /> There is huge practical aspect to this. I have very little family in the US. My father, a maternal uncle and second cousin (my father's cousin), and that's it.<br /> I remember there was a patient in my hospital who had no family and the hospital took over decision making.<br /> If I got really ill I could easily end up in the situation Tanya is facing right now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin#post-1085349 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:18:12 +0000 DonnaF 1085349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Word of caution:&nbsp; Some people are DEATHLY allergic to cats (and somewhat, albeit not deathly, allergic to dogs).&nbsp; I would hope that somewhere down the line you would not have to choose between a beloved cat and a guy.&nbsp; Even after years of allergy shots and even if I take allergy meds ahead of time, I cannot be in a cat home for longer than an hour, same with DD who dearly loves cats.&nbsp; Guinea pigs and rabbits are also no fun for me.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin#post-1085231 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:19:06 +0000 MsMary 1085231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can't edit, but coming back to say heh.&nbsp; I'm not even divorced yet, or dating or ready to date, and that STILL struck a nerve!&nbsp; LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/well-final-nail-in-the-coffin#post-1085226 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:17:15 +0000 MsMary 1085226@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Laurinda, I've had a lot of people say that to me, and I get that it's coming from a place of concern and wanting to be helpful.&nbsp; And I am all about going out and doing things and not waiting for Mr. Right to come along.&nbsp; As, I happen to know for a fact, is Anna.</p> <p>But honestly?&nbsp; The life I want to live includes somebody with whom to share that life.&nbsp; And quite honestly, hearing somebody who is happily coupled advise me (or anybody) to just give that up build this awesome life all on my own (with my single income, by the way, paying the 100% single supplement for all those fabulous vacations that are also part of the life I want to live) is, perhaps, not always exactly what the doctor ordered.</p> <p>Just sayin'.</p> <p>And yes, I'm a tiny bit blue with the holidays approaching. </p>