https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:49:55 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946492 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 20:37:49 +0000 Jenava 946492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn, you are stunningly beautiful. &nbsp;How rude and, frankly, odd&nbsp;of someone to say something negative about your beautiful body! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946435 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 18:00:31 +0000 Janet 946435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn, I understand. Many people, especially relatives, don't realize how deeply their words can cut. I remember one of the first times I went to visit my mom with the man who would later become my husband, she remarked that I looked like I'd put on a little weight. Right in front of him! I was pretty angry and snapped some lame retort at her, but later on we talked and worked through that kind of thing. My mom was a very sensitive person herself, so she never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. But she was quite judgmental when it came to weight. So I get it. When my weight goes up, I struggle with feelings that I am less worthy than when I am smaller, but I know it is all superficial BS.</p> <p>I'm so glad you're talking with the therapist about this! We have to replace the not-so-great messages we get in our heads from our parents with more positive ones. It sounds like you know what's going on and just need to stay vigilant with your messages to yourself. Keep the scale buried! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946422 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 17:28:57 +0000 lyn* 946422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>:) Thanks ladies for your very thoughtful replies - I am starting up with a second and a third therapist on my team shortly, so that will be an interesting dynamic, I am sure! I have heard good things about them, and they seem pretty willing to work with me - I'm not really their typical patient, but we'll see how that goes!</p> <p>With the scale thing; I am getting a lot better - I used to weigh myself about 14 times a day - and now it's once in the morning and lately, none at all, because I have a mess over my scale corner (I've been sewing) :p</p> <p>My mom always says that having kids ruined her body, and I guess that kinda stuck with me for a long time. I suppose she doesn't have the strongest self-image, and my dad probably doesn't help either - he doesn't really understand that people can change and wonders why women get hot flashes (he didn't really understand that women had periods, which was weird, so it was hard explaining menopause to him) - and I think he's getting better at it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am sort of worried when my mom comes to visit she will say I am fat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946336 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 12:58:35 +0000 Kim 946336@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh yes, having babies! LOL&nbsp; I changed from an athletic boyish shape (rectangle?) to an hourglass overnight!&nbsp; I suddenly had bigger hips once I had kids even though I weighed exactly the same.&nbsp; My hips grew by 4 inches and it's not fat, the darn hip bones moved.&nbsp; </p> <p>I always said it was to give those babies a hip to sit on while I carried them around for the first year! </p> <p>I actually like being a hourglass better (after 25 years with it) but it took some getting used to.&nbsp; So yes, be prepared for changes, they happen to all of us.&nbsp; One of the best life skills we can learn is how to embrace change, cause nothing ever stays the same for long! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946327 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 12:27:57 +0000 Janet 946327@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another thought. Yes, our bodies do change, but sometimes I think we have odd perceptions of them. I know I am not the only one here who has one day thought I look pretty darn good, and the next I feel pudgy and not so fab. And I bet if I owned a scale, I would not see some huge shift in what I weigh from one day to another. No, sometimes our minds play tricks on us, even though we look just the same as always to onlookers. I think it's good to keep this in mind so we don't take those off-days so seriously. </p> <p>That said, I really want to recommend that any younger ladies who get freaked out about body changes to work on dealing with this while you are young. This stuff can do a number on you as you get older and reach childbearing years, or perimenopause. I watched my mother struggle with body image as she aged, and I am trying to be more accepting, although it can be hard. I think focusing on being healthy and active, rather than appearance, helps a lot! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946323 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 12:17:37 +0000 krishnidoux 946323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn, I am so sorry you had to receive all of this girl's insecurities below the belt like this (literally!). It is hurting you. Your reaction is&nbsp;normal, it would hurt me too. I hope you did bring it up in therapy and BTW I command you for therapy, as it is a great tool and help,&nbsp;especially for you who is helping others. You have to know the pitfalls as you go along, this is one.&nbsp;</p> <p>So, of course, when I look at your pics all I see is a beautiful lady who looks stunning in skirts and dresses, and who has a fierce sense of style. I see gorgeous legs, and perfect collarbone.&nbsp;</p> <p>This said, it is true that the body changes, and it changes a lot with hormones throughout the month. I had always *known* this, but I remember I was around 26 when I started to really see it on my body. One day it looked rounder, the other it looked almost too thin. One day my legs looked freakishly small, the other they were proportioned.</p> <p>Yes, the body changes shape, but with all my 45 yrs of experience I can tell you that doesn't happen in your 20's, only from mid 30's on, and it's not bad at all, it's actually fun. For being a "gamine" type like you, I can tell you that what happened in my case is that I started looking more "womanly".&nbsp;</p> <p>Hugs to you!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946269 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 06:05:21 +0000 Marley 946269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not clear what it is that I'm supposed to be looking for in the pictures?&nbsp; I don't have time to read everyone's responses right now - but, just a based on your statement about your calves and your collarbones, I'm kind of stumped!&nbsp; I can't see any differences in the photos - and even if I did, what does it matter?&nbsp; Our bodies are changing all of the time - and that's a good thing!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946254 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 04:23:55 +0000 Mo 946254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn't even open the thumbnails, to be honest. &nbsp;I know you look wonderful. &nbsp;And I know our bodies are not static things like statues. &nbsp;<br />I was a bit heavier in my late 20's, but friends I've known for these last 2 decades&nbsp;honestly thought I looked the same as always. &nbsp;Funny how that is. &nbsp;<br />I will add that on my most recent double shift Monday, I awoke the next day to higher water retention due to swelling from standing for over 12 hours. &nbsp;Tell me that doesn't do a number on one's legs/feet!! &nbsp;(I also realized I'm not 29 anymore LOL) &nbsp;Again, the body is not a static thing - repeat after me &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946251 Sat, 01 Jun 2013 03:52:01 +0000 velvetychocolate 946251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you look beautiful and extremely stylish - I just love your style! Always look forward to seeing your posts. </p> <p>Don't worry too much about feeling funny about perceived changes. Having said that, I don't see any difference at all, and agree with others that it's most likely a case of lighting etc.</p> <p>At the same time though, I don't want you to get a complex if you notice something slightly different - this doesn't mean there is anything wrong for noticing changes, and it doesn't always mean 'disordered' thinking, imo. </p> <p>Just the other day I noticed something that looked like a pimple on my chin. I haven't had one of those in years and years - the fact that I noticed doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. It's no big deal...just that maybe I want to use some cream or toner or something to clear it up. </p> <p>It's not what the changes are (if any), but rather - what we make it mean. My favourite response when I get weirded out by things like this? </p> <p>"Yes...and?"</p> <p>The fact that I might have a pimple on my chin doesn't mean anything other than maybe I want to use some special cream or toner. It does not mean there is something awful about me. Same is true if I gain five pounds (or even more). It just is. It's just information, nothing more. </p> <p>While I can't see any difference in your collarbones or calves (other than different lighting, poses etc.), even if there WAS a difference, what would it mean? You're still beautiful, smart and super-stylish. </p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946162 Fri, 31 May 2013 23:28:26 +0000 Vildy 946162@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Downward arrow? <br />"If my legs are ___________ and my collarbone is ________ then what is the worst that could happen? [or What would it say about me as a person?]</p> <p>"If [answer to line 1] then what is the worst that could happen? etc </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question/page/2#post-946143 Fri, 31 May 2013 22:38:21 +0000 Krista 946143@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've received lots of feedback on the photos, but I will offer one piece of advice around the comment from the patient. &nbsp;As my Dad always says, "Consider the source." &nbsp;In this case, the patient is someone you don't really know intimately and goodness knows what she was getting at (Rachy puts this into perspective really well - lol!). She's not your best friend, I'm assuming you don't spend hours and hours&nbsp;together, so it's not worth your time.&nbsp;Don't give your power away to someone who has probably moved on to something entirely different and hasn't given their comment a second thought. &nbsp;I know it's easier said than done, but this might not be the only time in your career that a patient makes a flippant remark about your appearance. &nbsp;I would be using this situation as an opportunity for the future - establish a plan and response for when it might happen again. &nbsp;If your patients are anything like my students, you'll have another opportunity before you know it! :)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-946056 Fri, 31 May 2013 20:16:18 +0000 shedev 946056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>You completely rock skirts. Your legs look slightly more toned in photo 2 and I think that is a good thing. I think the difference in the collarbones is due more&nbsp;to the way you are standing more than actual differences in your body. A relaxed stance tends to soften the collarbones while having a little forward roll at the shoulder joint tends to make the collar bone look a little more prominant.</b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-946024 Fri, 31 May 2013 19:41:41 +0000 Adelfa 946024@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn, a dear friend who is a doctor (FP)&nbsp;gained weight due to a med change. Several of her patients made remarks along the lines of &nbsp;"Wow, you've really gotten fat!" Of course it hurt. She was able to see, though, that these remarks came only from members of one ethnic group, among whom remarks like that are common and don't carry as much shame as they do here. That helped to depersonalize the remarks a bit.</p> <p>So I'm just saying what several other fabbers have already said--the remark was about the patient, not you. However I give you tons of credit that, once the remark kicked off these thoughts for you, you put them out here for us. You knew for sure what we would say. You knew we would say you are lovely! So you put yourself in help's way and I applaud you for that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-946020 Fri, 31 May 2013 19:33:07 +0000 Anonymous 946020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am super confused as what I'm supposed to be looking for so I have no advice there. As far as the dysmorphia issue, dunno, have you suffered from this in the past? I know my evils tend to surface from time to time. Don't fret, enjoy the fact that you are alive and in good health. The rest is just gravy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-946016 Fri, 31 May 2013 19:24:46 +0000 rachylou 946016@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>1) The pictures reveal no differences (except some style evolution!)</p> <p>2) I don't understand this whole comment business - feeling good about your legs and showing them off in a skirt? Out of all the things to think about in the world, why did this girl bother to think about that? Why associate the two actions? You know, she could have been thinking about what to watch on Roku. That makes more sense to me and I don't have Roku.</p> <p>3) At 27, as Ceit says, I also left behind my little girl shape. There should be differences. Yuck to being human larvae forever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-946011 Fri, 31 May 2013 19:18:43 +0000 T-Rex 946011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think your legs look good. In that third pic, your left leg is turned a bit more, so we see more of the side view of your calf. I think that's why it looks bigger to you in that third pic. In any event, I personally like curvy calves, anyway. </p> <p>Don't let someone else's insecurities become yours. Do you think your patient was making a comment about your legs, or do you think she was asking about your confidence level regarding your legs? I can't judge for myself what her intention might have been without knowing the whole conversation, but is it possible she was hoping some of your confidence would rub off onto her? If that's the case, it's possible she was paying you a compliment. However, if she was truly trying to poke a hole in your bubble, whether consciously or not, then try to ignore it. Her attempt to sabotage you says more about her than it does about you, your legs, or anything else about you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945929 Fri, 31 May 2013 17:54:33 +0000 Keix 945929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have much to add that others haven't said better, except that I can empathize with family members casually critiquing one's body (usually in the negative) and I know it's even harder to ignore a&nbsp;comment when your own mother says it. Maybe it's a cultural thing; I always feel terrible about my body when I visit my relatives in China because they will say things that would be terribly rude in the US.&nbsp;Sending good&nbsp;thoughts your way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945925 Fri, 31 May 2013 17:44:40 +0000 Kim 945925@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your patient probably has issues with her own legs, and projects that onto others who "feel good enough" to bare their legs.&nbsp; Angie has taught us well, pasty white, vericose veins and all, I bare my legs proudly (cause they work hard for me!) at 51....At 26 you shouldn't even be *thinking* about your legs like that young lady (That's my Mom voice there...LOL)&nbsp; </p> <p>You have a very healthy body that doesn't give you and physical trouble, right?&nbsp; No aches and pains, etc.?&nbsp; That's all you can really hope for it.&nbsp; You are a doc.&nbsp; You know what it is to have bodies that don't work right.&nbsp; Yours is not in that category so it's to be appreciated while it's like that.</p> <p>I would talk to your shrink about strategies to learn how to let patient comments roll off your back and not affect you.&nbsp; THAT would be a useful exercise and a good skill to have for the rest of your life, so something good can come out of that silly comment your patient made.&nbsp; </p> <p>I look back at 26 now and see I had nothing to complain about.&nbsp; I hope you'll learn the lesson now and enjoy the body you have! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945924 Fri, 31 May 2013 17:44:30 +0000 Anonymous 945924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok, I noticed in my late 20s my body changed from before (I am almost 36). Not weight wise, but form wise, so you might be experiencing the same. Not all changes were negative, but I certainly felt like I looked more like an adult woman instead of a more girlish form.</p> <p>I think what that other person said reflected HER insecurities, and you should take it as her talking about herself. Because seriously, if I didn't know we were the same height, I would take you as being much slighter than I am. There is nothing wrong with your legs, or collarbones, or any speck of your lovely self.</p> <p>And do not compare photos --- only anthropomorphic measurements and skinfold thickness even approach some kind of objectivity. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945870 Fri, 31 May 2013 16:31:55 +0000 celia 945870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Please stop staring at your calves and collarbones. <br />Yes, our bodies are always changing and you are at an age when you will probably see more changes.<br />And don't compare photos because angle, lights, camera are all variables that can make you look different.<br />You look beautiful and slim as ever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945866 Fri, 31 May 2013 16:30:32 +0000 lyn* 945866@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks ladies, one of my patient made some type of comment about my legs and if I felt good enough about them to wear a skirt ... I think I do? :| I'm pretty sure I do. She's a lot skinnier than I am, though, so I did feel a bit hurt by it. She's not a psychiatric patient, so it kind of hurt a bit more that way.</p> <p>I have another appointment with the shrink this afternoon, so maybe I'll bring it up - he doesn't seem to think it's too concerning.&nbsp;</p> <p>@ Molly - Well, my mom is coming to visit and she likes to make fun of my collarbones.&nbsp;</p> <p>@ Ceit - I'm 27.</p> <p>@ Other Lyn - Maybe family medicine is making me bored O_O uhoh.</p> <p>@ Stacey - I know; I tell my patients that all the time. Doctor, heal thyself :p</p> <p>@ Jurocha - What you say is making a lot of sense; I haven't had trouble really fitting into anything - but I am worried that will happen. Hopefully it will be a bloaty period day :p</p> <p>@ Thistle - My best friend wants a new skirt to wear. Who am I to say no. :p</p> <p>@ Sona - Thanks I feel silly because of what I do.</p> <p>@ Elizabeth - I try not to ask myself questions like that, but they do crop up from time to time, you know. I should really just refrain from small talk with patients. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945833 Fri, 31 May 2013 16:08:42 +0000 Transcona Shannon 945833@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Sona said. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945826 Fri, 31 May 2013 16:03:55 +0000 RedM 945826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've also found that different skirt lengths will make my calves look differently.&nbsp; Picture 1 is above the knee and picture 2 is at the knee, which may be what the difference you are seeing is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945780 Fri, 31 May 2013 15:08:42 +0000 Aziraphale 945780@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm staring hard, I have a good eye, and&nbsp;I'm pretty sure it's just lighting differences. &nbsp;If you're exercising more it's possible your calves have become slightly more muscular, but honestly it's impossible to tell from the pics. &nbsp;Same with the collarbones. &nbsp;You are lit from above in the one picture, which will of course show collarbones in relief, but lit with flat light&nbsp;from the front in the other, which obliterates detail.</p> <p>But the real question is, why are you going down this road again? &nbsp;You know it's bad for you. &nbsp;You are an intelligent woman. &nbsp;You are training to be a doctor, which shows you have perseverance. &nbsp;Those two things combined will help you overcome your body dysmorphia/eating disorder, but you have to make a concerted effort <i>not</i> to permit yourself to ask questions like this -- not even to yourself.&nbsp;&nbsp;If you're asking the forum, it means you are worrying about it a lot in private, and that leads to a world of unhappiness.</p> <p>Honestly? &nbsp;When I see pictures of you, I see a very cute, very slender young woman. &nbsp;But even if you were not, it matters a lot less than you think. &nbsp;What a person looks like (especially in a still picture!) is only a small fraction&nbsp;of their appeal. &nbsp;The prettiest girl in town has no SA if she's lacking confidence and self-respect. &nbsp;</p> <p>Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. &nbsp;I might be able to help. &nbsp;I've fallen prey to body dysmorphia too, but I'm a lot older than you and I've learned how to silence&nbsp;those little mental&nbsp;insecurities that won't shut up. &nbsp;:-) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945744 Fri, 31 May 2013 14:20:29 +0000 Sona 945744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn: you are in the field to understand this clearly. the photos are from very different angles: comparing apples ot oranges. yes this is body dysmorphism. Don't go down that path. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945721 Fri, 31 May 2013 13:51:08 +0000 Janet 945721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I honestly think you're looking too hard for something insignificant. You are young, healthy, and slim. Enjoy it and don't fret. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945715 Fri, 31 May 2013 13:36:51 +0000 Thistle 945715@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have a lot of terrific advice above.</p> <p>My advice is this:&nbsp; Treat <i>your </i>body the same way you would treat a best a friend. </p> <p>Would you criticize or dislike a friend for changing a little bit? No way. Would you nitpick them over some small "imperfection"? Nope. Probably wouldn't even notice it, and definately wouldn't call it an imperfection.</p> <p>Care for your body as you would a best friend and treat it like a best friend.&nbsp; This was the best advice I was ever given. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945706 Fri, 31 May 2013 13:28:31 +0000 jurocha 945706@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The only differences I see are lighting, angle and picture quality. But if you're still worried about it, I would suggest trying to "copy/repeat" the whole outfits and the angles you got on the source pics (1 and 2). I would suggest you to do these updated pics over the course of 2-weeks (1-2 pics on different days per week) and only then compare the collection of updated pics with your source pics.</p> <p>I started eating healthy three months ago; by the same time I started running and joined Mrs. Sporty (a fitness center that has a circular training program designed specifically to women). I've seen changes in my body in this period, but I can tell you that not all of them were what I aimed for and that these changes varied significantly depending on: time of the day I was measuring myself (morning/evening), if I was near my period or had forgotten to take the pill, if I ate whole wheat alone or mixed it with regular products on the day prior to the measuring.</p> <p>For example and to be more specific, I've lost 2 cm on my waist in these 3 months and I managed to fit into a dress I wanted. However, on the week of my period last month, I tried the dress again... and it was too tight. On the 3rd day of my period... voilá... the dress fitted perfect once again. I'm sharing that because if I learned something in this short period of time I've been obsessing about my own shape is that this one-one comparison is always misleading and disappointing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945703 Fri, 31 May 2013 13:27:09 +0000 Anonymous 945703@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you look terrific, and I really can't tell&nbsp;a difference in your older vs. newer pictures, other than lighting/angles. I get where you're coming from, though. I think I'm around your age and *I* notice subtle changes in my body and I don't always like them!&nbsp;However, I really don't think the rest of the&nbsp;world notices. We're always our harshest critics, you know? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/weird-possibly-body-dysmorphic-question#post-945672 Fri, 31 May 2013 12:39:59 +0000 Kristin L 945672@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>the only thing I can see (and it's because i'm looking hard) is it looks like your calves are smaller, like dianthus said. </p> <p>What would you say to a friend expressing your thoughts? In my (limited) experience, doctors and nurses can be the worse at taking care of themselves because they put everyone else before them. Try talking to someone. You look great and you should feel as great about how you look.&nbsp; </p>