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YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Venting - Maternity Leave https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 18:33:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Jjsloane on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1399392 Wed, 19 Nov 2014 11:29:10 +0000 Jjsloane 1399392@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this now. I had similar non-information both times I went out for maternity and just rolled the dice and waded through paperwork. At 2 different companies it was basically the same in the end. There was a 1 week period I had to use my own leave (or LWOP) before disability (same % as you, but when they are not taking out benefits etc.. it was actually not a whole lot less than regular pay and for me it was weekly vice twice monthly). Disability does not start until you are in hospital for the birth- that's what starts the clock (including the waiting period). I was able to use FMLA which really only means they have to save your job or provide you with an equal job when you come back and you can be away up to 12 weeks, but does not pay for any of the leave - you still have to use the allotted disability (6 wks for regular delivery, 8 wks c-section). I always worked right up to delivery so I could have more leave after baby was born. I think you got some bum advice about leaving early, but I also wish I had taken a little breather before the birth so hopefully you are able to do that. You can also work with your OB after the birth - they have some pull with the amount of time you can be given. Good luck - waiting to hear baby news soon! rebekahphoto on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1396974 Sat, 15 Nov 2014 03:20:42 +0000 rebekahphoto 1396974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ what a nightmare! I hope things all work out smoothly for you soon! After a summer visiting family in Denmark, I am still amazed how terribly far the US is behind in family care....but at least there has been some progress. In 1970, while my mom was pregnant with me she was working as a teller in a bank in California. When she started showing her big baby bump, her manager fired her, saying she was no longer "suitable" to be working in public! Jenava on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1395672 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 00:34:45 +0000 Jenava 1395672@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OK, an update in case you're curious.  The insurance company has assured us that the four week approval is only until I deliver, and that they will re-evaluate the date after I deliver. Which is fine, and I'm glad that it seems to be working out!  No one I've spoken to has had this odd "four weeks to start" thing happen to them, so who knows...seems to be resolved for the time being! AviaMariah, yep, my husband's aunt lives nearby and is retired and will be taking care of him once I need help and I am back at work.  I will likely also be able to work 4 days a week for a while, as well. AviaMariah on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1394251 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 22:18:29 +0000 AviaMariah 1394251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Being able to work from home is going to be really nice.  Are you going to have someone there taking care of the baby?  That would be the best of both worlds IMO.  However it works out you're going to have a beautiful baby in your arms soon!! Elle on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1394018 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 16:15:19 +0000 Elle 1394018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry that you have to go through this - particularly at a time when you should be looking forward to the baby.  I do think it is important to send polite regular emails asking for the specific information  you need and summarizing the steps you have taken to get that information.  Copy your boss and the HR persons boss.  Written documentation is very important (and harder to ignore). I know you are reluctant to consult a lawyer but it might be good to get a free consult just to see what your rights are.  As someone else suggested, try calling the Dept of Labor for your state - they might be able steer you to an advocacy group.  Let us know what happens Jenava on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1393753 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 02:16:03 +0000 Jenava 1393753@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for the support, ladies.  (-: We mostly work from our homes at my company, so she doesn't have an office I can visit her at.  I could arrange to meet her in our office, but I don't really think that will help.  Friday came and went without an answer.  We don't have many women working internally at my company (a consulting company), and most associates are on a completely different pay type, so they have more options for maternity leave.  I'm probably the first person to apply for STD in 10 years there!  So, to them it's unusual. She spoke to me about my leave in a conversation with several others, so I feel pretty confident that if she does turn out to be wrong that they will somehow remedy the situation (ie. provide me with add'l PTO to cover, etc.).  They use their family-centered culture to recruit people, and this story wouldn't look very good... Hiring a lawyer I think it making taking it a bit further than I can handle right now.  I don't want this to consume my time right now...if I end up not getting the time I was promised, then we'll see.  WA state doesn't have anything beyond FMLA, which doesn't apply to me since I have only been there for 9.5 mos (FMLA stipulates 12 mos minimum tenure) so there aren't any rules I can rely on.  Plus, I can only afford 2 weeks unpaid, and I have 2 weeks of PTO saved.  So 12 mos unpaid wouldn't do me any good, as I wouldn't be able to swing it financially... The good news is I will work from home and possibly 4 days a week once I'm back from leave.  So, if I go back before the holidays I'll also get holiday pay, which I wouldn't get if I were on leave (the 6 weeks is regardless of holidays). It's frustrating to have something that is so important to me slip through the cracks despite my good faith efforts.  That's what really bothers me most! minimalist on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1393475 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 17:38:18 +0000 minimalist 1393475@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Just sending good vibes, as I'm unfamiliar with the legal situation. In Nordic countries btw, men overwhelmingly take their paternity leave during hunting season. karymk on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1393465 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 16:49:20 +0000 karymk 1393465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ah Jenava, I totally understand your frustration, you are supposed to be looking forward to time with your baby without having to worry about your work "benefits".  I feel bad for you. My husband is from Norway and this is never an issue there.  Working moms get a YEAR off with pay! You can stay out longer if you want with 60 percent pay.  Dads get like 6 weeks off too at the beginning.  I had my second kid there and I was not working, but they gave us $6,000 when the baby was born for "diaper" money.   Those European countries that have social democracies usually have fantastic parent and kid care. But then you give a lot up in tax money etc and you live in an uber liberal state.   I am excited for you to have the baby. K ironkurtin on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1393407 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 13:46:32 +0000 ironkurtin 1393407@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That is terrible. I'm so sorry. I do know most of maternity leave is typically unpaid. It's not sick leave, it's more like paid disability (nice huh) which is why you only get a % of your salary. Also it's a holding period where they can't replace you. In fact, I had to take all of my vacation and sick leave time before I could get my few weeks of partially-paid leave, and took the rest of the allowed time off unpaid. American treatment of mothers is pretty criminal IMO. Just make sure when you go the hospital you notify your insurance. Everything else will fall into place then. And document the times you did not get an answer from HR. elpgal on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1393206 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 22:52:35 +0000 elpgal 1393206@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I was in a similar situation. It is scary how lackadaisical HR is when you want to get info on maternity benefits or resignation. I don't want to get into specifics because it is going to make me really irritated all over again. I have to admit I am confused about your short term disability scenario. In my case, my doctor had to give me a letter after I delivered with the date or the delivery and their recommendation based on the type of delivery and other complications. Disability leave started only after I got them the letter and obviously only after I delivered. There was a waiting period of a week before it began and I used vacation time for that. I would recommend sending HR a memo and copy HR's supervisor and yours. Don't waste your time calling insurance. Your HR is supposed to take care of that stuff. Joyce B on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1393174 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 20:56:28 +0000 Joyce B 1393174@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Check with the Department of Labor of your State to find out what applies to your maternity leave being that you are on the job for less than 12 months. That should give you an idea of where to start. Depending on your footing in the company they may be willing to accomodate for you but I would first find out what your options are from the Dept of Labor. I wish you the best and hope that things will be resolved in a satisfactory way. viva on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392907 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 13:45:31 +0000 viva 1392907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, Jenava. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I guess I would echo the suggestions to confront -- or ask questions -- in person to the extent possible. This woman, or anyone -- may have a harder time putting you off when they can see how close to delivery you are. You really have a right to clear information. Deborah on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392825 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 04:30:00 +0000 Deborah 1392825@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Being in Australia, I cannot give you advice as the legalities of maternity leave and employment here is obviously very different. May I just encourage you to keep on top of it and make sure you get a proper response. One thing I was surprised to note was 'Maternity Disability Leave"?? When did being pregnant or having a baby equate to a disability?? I realize this doesn't help now, but maybe for the future... before I accepted the job I was in when I had my son, I negotiated 6 weeks paid maternity leave as part of my employment contract. Another colleague did the same and then she took 12 weeks at 1/2 pay. Just keeping pushing and escalate this. Sending you positivity and strength and trusting for a good outcome. Debbie on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392796 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 03:21:33 +0000 Debbie 1392796@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Escalate this ASAP. Sara L. on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392708 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 00:44:00 +0000 Sara L. 1392708@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That's horrible!  I hope they get it worked out soon.   I worked for a small company that was small enough that they weren't even required to follow FMLA (need to have greater than 50 employees).  I had a short term disability policy that paid about what yours does and then I took 6 weeks of unpaid leave to have 12 weeks total.  I worked until the day the baby was born (with all 3 them) to maximize the time off.  I remember something about that 2 week waiting period as well, but I don't remember the specifics.   Good luck with everything! Jules on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392550 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 19:47:36 +0000 Jules 1392550@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ yeah... I would go to your boss with this. How every frustrating (especially about the waiting period). In a way it is good they have not yet provided you with anything in writing, because now you can rightly claim that you were not properly informed when you agreed to leave early. Actually, I would take what you told us and summarize it in an email to send to her, her boss and your boss, documenting the dates you asked for info and so on. Good luck. DonnaF on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392541 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 19:35:35 +0000 DonnaF 1392541@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Document, document, document.  Reconstruct the dates (and times when you can) when you approached HR with your questions and concerns.  Is there any way you can call the insurance company directly with your group/plan number? This is not the type of thing you should be spending your time and energy on!  I'm sure you boss would much rather have you concentrate on winding things up (or is it winding down?) before your leave. Deep breathe. abc on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392524 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 19:15:22 +0000 abc 1392524@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would escalate.  Plain and simple.  When you aren't getting the answers you need and have given every opportunity to the person, going above their head cannot be viewed as anything but just. Good luck, I passed through something very similar during my last pregnancy so I understand where you are coming from. rachylou on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392500 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 18:29:50 +0000 rachylou 1392500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My head is spinning with yours. I was not blessed with bureaucracy brain. Neither was my dad. My mom is, however. She bemoans my lack and says I got my dysfunctional brain from my dad... which is funny, except at times like this. What have you and your boss discussed? This is the sort of thing I set my boss to sorting out... AviaMariah on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392434 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 16:34:18 +0000 AviaMariah 1392434@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You absolutely should be getting some answers from your HR person.  Does she just not know?  I'll tell you how mine works because it sounds similar to what yours MIGHT be (I'm also in WA).  I get 6 weeks short term disability (8 if C-section).  There is a two week waiting period before it kicks in but I'm not sure why that  means you have to take it before giving birth?  I started it the day I gave birth with my DD.  So had two weeks unpaid after giving birth and then the 6 weeks kicked in.  How frustrating if she gave you false information about that as I'm sure you'd rather have the extra time after the baby is here.  After my short term disability I went on FMLA.  I was not aware there was a 12 month waiting period but I would really hope that if your company is family friendly and values you as an employee that they would be willing to give more than this to you.  The FMLA law is just what they have to do legally.  I would definitely talk to a supervisor other than your HR person.  She may just tell you the "rules" but someone higher up may be able to make an exception. Hugs to you.  You do not need this at this stage.  I say use crazy, pregnant, almost ready to give birth woman and get some answers!!  As a side note; I can't imagine a employer with half a brain would want a mother back at work that soon.  Talk about crazy and hormonal!!  I've had friends who have done it but I really can't imagine! Rambling Ann on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392371 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 15:24:43 +0000 Rambling Ann 1392371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You can always pull the crazy pregnant lady card and go sit in her office until you get an answer. Just don't leave. Tears optional, but insistent good humor works better. Tell her you might just have the baby in her office if you can't figure out your maternity leave in time. Once your large pregnant self is down in the chair, what's she going to do? Make it more painful not to help you than to do what needs doing.  Beth Ann on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392337 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 14:41:48 +0000 Beth Ann 1392337@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I hear you, Jenava.  I went back to work less than 3 weeks after having DS -- teaching at the University.  It worked out, because I'm a part time,adjunct, and I added extra time to pump (although it meant I was away from home longer, and I didn't get paid for the time).  Of course, as many contract employees, I have no benefits at all, and no protection under law.  The state of family leave in this country is inexcusable. Is it possible, if you have to return before the holidays, that you could work some from home?  Also, La Leche League might have information about how to stretch the benefits -- they have an interest in this because they support breast feeding.  They can be a militant --- be forewarned! CocoLion on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392193 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 06:32:33 +0000 CocoLion 1392193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sorry you are going through this!  The more I hear about such things, the more I feel it should be a matter of national interest.  We should be protecting mothers such as yourself not stressing them out.  No surprise that the birth rate among educated women keeps going down, they don't make it easy and there is not enough welfare directed towards the middle class in general in my opinion.  California has strict laws and pays disability for both mothers and fathers, I'm not sure what the laws are in WA, I would check things from a State law standpoint to see what your rights are.  I like Adelfa's idea about contacting a lawyer.  I can say that as an employer, as soon as I know someone's contacted a lawyer I get ON IT.  Although it sends a negative message to the employer, so you only want to let them know you've lawyered up if they are denying you your rightful benefits. Adelfa on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392171 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 04:55:50 +0000 Adelfa 1392171@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This sounds borderline illegal to me--I think I heard somewhere that in CA your employer has to give you a description of your benefits. I know you're not in CA. Also in CA naturally the FMLA rules are the same, but there is also Pregnancy Disability Leave (PDL) which gives you up to four months protected leave (but not all necessarily paid). Even seasoned HR professionals get this part wrong sometimes. I say find an employment lawyer (plaintiff's side) that does pregnancy cases and ask for a free consultation--they all give them. Say that you think you're being denied your rights and you want to look into legal representation. They won't take your case because you haven't been harmed yet. But they could definitely tell you what the laws are. jackiec on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392140 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 04:13:19 +0000 jackiec 1392140@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This sounds so frustrating for you. I'm sorry for all the stress. I hope it gets resolved and you can enjoy your leave. Good luck FindingMyWay on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392102 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 03:35:15 +0000 FindingMyWay 1392102@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So frustrating, and it adds uncertainty when you least need it. Can you talk to your boss and have him/her ask the benefits manager? Or can you ask somebody else at your company who has recently had a child, just to give you a better sense of what to expect? Jenava on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392097 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 03:28:31 +0000 Jenava 1392097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Donna, that's the frustrating thing - it's through my company and I've read all the online documentation very carefully.   It's all generic and doesn't specify the exact parameters - it just says to contact somebody...which I've done over several weeks and had no response (she tells me she has to contact the insurance provider but apparently either hasn't had time or is not getting info..)  I just cannot believe they don't have it documented.  That's what I'm asking for...just SEND ME the documentation and I will read through it all...I'm more than happy to do that.  I don't need someone else to read it to me! Hubby says talk to her boss, but her boss is more flakey than she is.  She is actually usually on the ball, so I don't know why this seems to be falling through the cracks.  Right now I feel helpless, which isn't something I cope with well...(-;  Nor is it a feeling I'm accustomed to!  Maybe it's good practice for birth and parenting, though... Angie on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392029 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 01:49:54 +0000 Angie 1392029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ (((HUGS))). Oh good heavens. I'm sorry, Jenava. This is NOT what you need right now. There has to be someone at the company you work for who can straighten out the situation?  I'm pretty sure that hubs is on your side too. xo DonnaF on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1392011 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 01:36:55 +0000 DonnaF 1392011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ How frustrating!  I'm in California, and gave birth 21 YEARS ago as of Nov. 14.  My tiny employer had no maternity leave so I was dependent on California state short term disability benefits which was about what you describe.  I think I had to use up my sick leave first.  My first (and only) kid was born nearly three weeks early, so first births aren't necessarily always early.  I worked to the end since disability benefits didn't cover more than a couple weeks before the expected due date -- meaning my last day at work was to be a day or two after kiddo was actually born.  That meant that I was giving instructions on files from my hospital bed. If your benefits are actually Washington State benefits, maybe you can get answers online?  And if they are actually covered (such as it is) by your employer, I'm wondering if there is some type of handbook you can refer to online? My husband had accumulated a ton of sick/family leave at his employer, and he worked out a deal that he would take a couple of days of leave each week rather than actual paternity leave.  Plus, he was in the type of job where they need to schedule people on weekends.  I worked out a schedule with my employer such that I would work 10 or 12 hour days or something like that.  It prolonged the time before I would have to put kiddo in child care, and it made me let go of my control and trust issues and helped DD bond with her dad.  This was quite beneficial when my dad had a stroke and died when she was about 15 months old since I knew she was in good hands even if I wasn't around. Hang in there!  Maybe your Nov. 14 will be as special for you as it is for me. Jenava on "Venting - Maternity Leave" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/venting---maternity-leave#post-1391956 Fri, 07 Nov 2014 00:05:28 +0000 Jenava 1391956@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So, I'm already keyed up because I'm getting so close to giving birth.  I've been trying to be really patient with the benfits manager at work because she's super busy and a nice lady, but I haven't been able to get ANY specific info about my leave in regards to what I'll be paid when.  I've got 8 days of PTO and can afford to take two weeks unpaid...besides that I know that for a regular delivery my company has short term disability that will give me 6 weeks at 60% of my salary.  Which, I'll point out, is TERRIBLE.  my company is supposedly very family friendly.  Unless, I guess, you are a woman giving birth?  WTH?? Anyway, I am not certain if I can use my PTO back to back with my Short Term Disability.  I am not even sure if I can take unpaid time off, because I haven't been there a year and the FMLA only applies if you've worked at the same place for 12 months (it'll be 10.5 for me, most likely).  The ONLY info the benefits manager gave me was that I would have a 15 day waiting period (waiting for what?  who knows?) before my 6 weeks would go into affect, so she advised me to start my leave two weeks before my due date, which I did.  I just heard from the insurance provider that they've approved me for leave through December 12th...given that I'm due on Nov 15th, that's NOT EVEN FOUR WEEKS after I'm likely to deliver (I'll likely go late, to boot, since I'm a first time mom).  Are you kidding me? I've emailed this woman politely for weeks with no real info from her and now this.  Ugh.  I'm so upset that I may have a very short time before I'll have to return to work (and right during the holidays, too, when they don't even need me and I'd much rather be with family).  It's so ridiculous that they would treat someone like this...it's making me angry.  I just feel like it's not at all important to anyone and I feel like screaming and stomping my feet, because to me it's one of the most important thing that will happen IN MY LIFE.  This is why I hate people sometimes.  I feel like I can't trust anyone to be on my side but me, and in the future I just need to be a pain in the butt much earlier and often in order to protect myself from other people's apathy!  AARGH.  OK, end of rant.