https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 19:15:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1022370 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 01:02:30 +0000 Sona 1022370@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>He posts pics of himself with other women.</p> <p>enough said.</p> <p>Get together with the widower. Your friend knows him. He is not pushy. I like him!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1021419 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 00:48:56 +0000 annagybe 1021419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well I just got a message from the widower. He works a tough schedule too. BUT we have plans to meet for drinks in two weeks. </p> <p></p> <p>ETA What to wear????</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1020746 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 04:43:15 +0000 Adelfa 1020746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I say quit on #2 immediately. There are all red flags and no green. You don't owe him a meeting.</p> <p>Definitely give #1 a chance! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1020165 Tue, 03 Sep 2013 15:38:42 +0000 ManidipaM 1020165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>On same page as Kim. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1020109 Tue, 03 Sep 2013 14:10:25 +0000 Kim 1020109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How can he possibly "love" you when he barely knows you?? &nbsp;That would be a huge red flag for me, as I can see a manipulative emotionally draining&nbsp;person from a mile away here...(The bemoaning and the immediate love would make me think even if he's a "nice" guy he's gonna be high maintenance at the very least.)</p> <p>Do yourself a favor and don't encourage him by meeting him in person. &nbsp;Give him a quick "I'm not interested, thank you for your interest." and then unfriend him. &nbsp;That's about as nice as I'd get with this kind of personality.</p> <p>Could just be me,t I haven't dated in 30 years...LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1020072 Tue, 03 Sep 2013 12:50:28 +0000 Glory 1020072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FWIW: If you know that there is no interest I would not meet in person. I think you are so busy with work and your adventures it just doesn't seem worth the effort. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019913 Tue, 03 Sep 2013 03:43:30 +0000 annagybe 1019913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LBD, The lovelorn guy I went to high school with is not worthy of a fling. Judging by his photos I'm not physically attracted to him. I just figured it would be nicer to reject him in person, but maybe I'm wrong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019883 Tue, 03 Sep 2013 02:11:53 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1019883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>#2 sounds wrong.&nbsp; Just wrong.&nbsp; &nbsp; My gut instinct feels this guy is bad news.&nbsp;&nbsp; I think he's found a FB technique to get attractive women in bed that has apparently worked for him before.&nbsp; It's risk-free for him, because he doesn't have to look you (or any woman he tries this on) in the eye, but can establish a pretend intimacy from the safety of his own keyboard and monitor. </p> <p>My guess is that if you nibble, he'll try and build up a sort of intimacy online, and get you reminiscing about when you were both in school together, so that by the time you do meet face-to-face, you will be an easy seduction.</p> <p>That's the better-case-scenario.&nbsp; Worse-case scenario is that he's a waste of your time, or, really creepy, or dangerous.</p> <p>You are too beautiful, intelligent, successful, and amazing for this sort of tomfoolery.&nbsp; UNLESS (and I do not judge in this case!) you are actually good with a fling.&nbsp; :)&nbsp; &nbsp; Still... in that case, be careful and smart, and meet this guy someplace very busy and very public.</p> <p>re:&nbsp; the widower - I would say keep casual-but-regular contact and at some point, invite him out for a drink and ask how he likes Seattle, etc.&nbsp; Keep it light and easy and enjoy yourself </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019323 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 23:50:58 +0000 Deborah 1019323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, it can't hurt to meet up with our friend's freind who is moving to Seattle.&nbsp; And as far as the second guy goes, my 10 year old son uses the expression 's up' and thinks he is cool!&nbsp; I find it amusing from a child, but not so much from a grown man.&nbsp; Does he also wear his baseball cap backwards??&nbsp; Having said that what harm can come from meeting for a quick drink in a public place.&nbsp; BUT to be honest is sounds like you have no genuine interest in him so might be best to pass. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019317 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 23:44:57 +0000 cobaltblue 1019317@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>#2 sounds like bad news, Anna! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019299 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 23:01:43 +0000 Caro in Oz 1019299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><span>&nbsp;Agh <i>-&nbsp;He's always bemoaning about love and linking to Smiths songs.</p> <p></i>You don't need this kind of guy Anna what Gaylene &amp; Shelia said :)</span> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019267 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 22:10:49 +0000 Glory 1019267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it is worth meeting with both, in a public place. You never know and then you can decide if you have any interest to meet again. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019261 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 21:55:04 +0000 Sheila 1019261@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Deleted double-post, sorry. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019258 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 21:53:36 +0000 Sheila 1019258@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, I agree that man #1 sounds a lot more like someone I'd want to know than man-child #2, who sounds a little desperate and a whole lotta needy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019198 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 19:42:32 +0000 Gaylene 1019198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, Anna, I'm intrigued enough to keep checking this thread to see how the stories end.</p> <p>Story #1:<br />Widower with mutual friends moves to town, doesn't seem to be looking for a quick hookup, but might be interested in being friends. <i>Question</i>: <i>Should you make an effort meet over coffee, despite a busy schedule, to find out if he has boyfriend potential?</i></p> <p>Story #2<br />Guy who hasn't been in touch with you for 20 years has now decided you are the love of his life and desperately wants a relationship with you. Sends you messages on FB which you find dull and juvenile. Likes to post pictures of himself with other women. <i>Question</i>: <i>Should you make the effort to meet over coffee, despite a busy schedule, to see if he has boyfriend potential?</i></p> <p>Call me cynical but my odds would be the first story has a better shot at a happy ending.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019135 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 17:35:34 +0000 MovingFashionForward 1019135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When men have said "I love you" to me when they can't possibly know me (surely you might have changed since high school?!) it has never ended well. In one case the man is a stalker, as in following me&nbsp;for years and years including internationally, police involved and everything. In another case it was just a manipulative ploy to get another notch on the bedpost, as it were. In another case it was simply clear that the person&nbsp;had a vision of the perfect wife, into which he was slotting me, failing to notice that I was very far from the person&nbsp;he imagined. It is definitely a red flag, and would definitely make me question his friend/boyfriend/husband potential. His posting lots of pictures of himself with different women would just make me think that he is a bit of a sad loser who is trying too hard. Like he's read Strauss's *The Game* but hasn't quite got it.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019125 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 17:23:07 +0000 Kristin L 1019125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'd go have a drink with the widower. I'm not sure about the high-school guy. I'd go with what your gut tells you to do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019124 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 17:07:13 +0000 rachylou 1019124@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The widower isn't a rich guy from California, is he?</p> <p>As for the high school guy, this is my bad, but I could just personally not take having someone up under me like that. He'd probably be a really good bonder, but man. You can tell me you love me once, then please, do not say it again. I'm German American <i>and</i> Chinese. If you need me to pick up milk, text me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019094 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:45:52 +0000 Raisin 1019094@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like IK's advice. &nbsp;Makes it easy to assess both guys, and you don't have to make any commitment. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019091 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:37:22 +0000 annagybe 1019091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think the high school guy is a&nbsp;womanizer. He seems far too mopey for that. He's always bemoaning about love and linking to Smiths songs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019087 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:32:26 +0000 Suz 1019087@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am 100% with Elly on this. Your radar is already twitching about Mr. High School Lothario. And the signs are not encouraging. I guess the issue here is -- will going for a drink with him make it harder to tell him you are not intrigued? If so, maybe you want to put the brakes on sooner rather than later.&nbsp;</p> <p>The other guy? Maybe...worth meeting, anyway, if and when you have time and if he seems interested, too.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019085 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:31:43 +0000 Mochi 1019085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The widower would be nice to meet. The other guy? The "I love you" is a red flag. Perhaps meet in public. Well, you should with everyone but especially this guy. And "S'up" or "Ssup" or whatever? Blah.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019081 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:28:28 +0000 ironkurtin 1019081@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have a drink someplace public.&nbsp; If he's creepy, pass.</p> <p>That goes for both of them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019080 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:27:59 +0000 Elly 1019080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't know. I will let you know that although the HS guy sounds like he is up to no good, my mother and her parents have been approached more in the last 10 years by young men my mom went to school with in the community to inquire about her and admit that they were very smitten with her in high school. IDK if it is a "midlife" thing or what . . . but it seems like since she has turned 40 she has had a large number of men either randomly admit that to her or lament that they wished they weren't too stupid in their youth to recongnize some of her good qualities.</p> <p>Your guy sounds more like a friend of mine who is a womanizer. It is amazing what men think they can get away with on facebook. </p> <p>I'd be tempted to try to have a drink with your friend's husband's friend when you have time though, even as just a friendly gesture. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/unexpected-developments#post-1019072 Sun, 01 Sep 2013 15:18:35 +0000 annagybe 1019072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So I've had two recent unexpected developments in my personal life. Basically since work has blown up I put a notice on my OKCupid account saying I wasn't going to check in till October.<br />Well recently an old friend of mine messaged me on facebook saying that a good friend of her husband was moving out to Seattle. He's a widower and she wanted me to meet him. I sent him a message and a friend request. He accepted the friend request but nothing much more. I did tell him I'm really busy right now but welcome to Seattle.<br />The other thing is that a guy I went to high school with also messaged me on facebook. He said he loved me. ?!?! I have not seen him in 20 years. He said in the past&nbsp;he had a crush on me in high school. I was unaware of it at the time. I tried to tell him that I'm much more complicated than my facebook posts. He said he knew. I told him I'm very busy in the next few weeks, but maybe once my schedule settles down we can go out for a drink and then he can decide his feelings about me. He constantly tries to message me through facebook. I wouldn't mind so much if the conversations were interesting, they are not. He even used " s up "; to which I think no 40 plus year old person should use that phrase. Also he's constantly changing his profile picture to ones with various women. Though currently he's using a high school prom picture. I feel like I should give him a chance, but basically I'm not intrigued. Plus to say he loves me even though he hasn't seen in forever.<br />Opinions, suggestions? </p>