https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 02:23:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/4#post-821663 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 21:58:00 +0000 moira 821663@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I colored my hair for years, well before it was turning gray. At a certain point, I had no idea what was underneath.<br /> My hair is thick and grows very fast and I was always in need of a touch up it seemed and it was not in great condition because of the processing.<br /> Finally, about 4 years ago, I bit the bullet. had some streaks put in to ease the process and it turned out that I was completely silver.<br /> I have green/hazel eyes and a pink Irish mug and people tell me it looks great. I even picked up a new beau when I had been single for years. I feel like I stand out a bit from all of the other 50 something women with reddish brown hair.<br /> I try to keep it well tended and groomed and even invested in a flat iron to give it a sleek and polished look.<br /> If it looks like you care, you won't look like you don't care. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/4#post-821451 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 17:16:12 +0000 T-Rex 821451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK, do you live in an area that is conducive to people watching? Keep your eyes open for women with similar hair color and texture to yours, who are going gray. Or look around on the web for the same. How do these women look to your eye? If they are dressed well or have a lot of style, does that make a difference? Which hairstyles have they chosen, do they look good, and do you think you would feel good in something similar? </p> <p>If you are lucky enough to find your style doppelganger with a few gray hairs, and she looks great, then you can be pretty sure that you will, too. </p> <p>Personally, I get a little thrill when I see a women in a great outfit, well groomed, having a good time with her friends, and letting her gray hair show. Not that I have anything against covering it. But allowing it to show when one is obviously very attuned to the clothing styles and colors they choose...or their makeup choices, or nail art, or cool shoes, or whatever...tells me they are not just showing the gray. They are showing it off. </p> <p>In the end, whatever you choose to do is the right thing to do. And there is nothing wrong with changing your mind later, either. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/4#post-821076 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 09:40:40 +0000 ManidipaM 821076@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK: One caveat, coming back to you specifically. What *we* on this forum (which is, overall, stupendously non-judgemental) think may be a quite different matter from what potential employers think --- I'm recalling your other thread here. </p> <p>As has been said already, the connotations of 'grey=older' very much exist in the larger social framework. Does that affect how you are seen as an employee or potential employee? Does youth matter in the business? That, you know best about your industry and environment! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/4#post-821051 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 07:49:13 +0000 goldenpig 821051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think all grey or a grey streak looks great especially when combined with a stylish cut. What I'm having trouble with as I near 40 is the scraggly grey pubic hairs sprouting up randomly on my head. So far I've been plucking them but they are getting too numerous to keep up with. I think I may have to break down and start coloring in the next year or two! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/4#post-821037 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 06:13:21 +0000 Kari 821037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also wonder if it becomes more challenging to wear certain metals (gold, for example) when baring gray hair. For example, this post shows a gold tiara gracing the head of Queen Margrethe II of Denmark. The blogger points out that the yellow-gold tiara kind of clashes against Margrethe's beautiful silver hair - and in my opinion it also artificially makes her teeth look yellow in a way that's not flattering.</p> <p><a href="http://orderofsplendor.blogspot.com/2013/01/tiara-thursday-naasut-tiara.html" rel="nofollow">http://orderofsplendor.blogspo.....tiara.html</a></p> <p>Compare to a photo where she is wearing a silver tiara.</p> <p><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uqI33FxzKgc/TwC-HHC_wDI/AAAAAAAAFec/cNsUTL5x7fA/s1600/MargretheNewYearCourt2011.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uqI3.....rt2011.jpg</a></p> <p>(Yes, I totally read about tiaras as a guilty pleasure. And I once claimed that I lack the magpie gene? Psssht, not sure what I was thinking! I guess I admire sparkly things, I just don't usually wear them.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/4#post-821031 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 05:58:05 +0000 Kari 821031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, not necessarily. I think it's all about how the hair and the cut is groomed. I do think that someone with gray hair who doesn't have a well-maintained cut - lots of frizz and split ends - can slip too easily into frumpy territory, though - but to be fair, I also feel that's true for women with non-gray hair! I also think that gray hair *can* be aging depending on the coloring of the person, but again, that can sometimes be counterbalanced by the right cut (and making sure to wear flattering colors of clothing, since gray/silver hair is colorless.)</p> <p>I have seen so many examples of women who I have seen make this look incredibly well! For example, a coworker lost her hair entirely due to cancer after dying it for years. When it grew back, her stylist told her not to dye it until the chemo-damaged hair had grown out. It grew back silvery gray and in the CUTEST spunky, choppy pixie - her stylist truly only had to do the bare minimum of shaping to keep it looking chic! (It is so similar to Jamie Lee Curtis' cut and looks amazing on my coworker.) I hope that she won't change it because the gray looks textured, clean, and BEAUTIFUL on her.</p> <p>And we have many gray - and - silver ladies rocking it on the forum that I think have very carefully cultivated looks, and I love their locks as is. (Shannon and Joy were the first who spring to my mind, too!)</p> <p>My dad went VERY prematurely gray, but his hair is now a pure, clean, snowy white with just a little bit of gray that adds texture. My paternal grandmother's hair was the same way before she passed away. So I have hope that when I gray, it will be a very pretty, clean color by the time I'm ready to bare my roots. (But I also hope that's a LONG way off!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-821020 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 05:25:36 +0000 Kristin SF 821020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>MaryK, holy cow, you are killing me tonight! Hilarious and classy, to boot. Your "after" is AMAZING, btw, just wanted to chime in. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-821006 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 04:57:25 +0000 Marley 821006@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't make assumptions about someone based on their hair-color, period. I know better - because I've had some strange hair-colors over the years! Some on purpose - others, totally by accident (hey, I love to experiment!) That being said, I *do* make assumptions about people based on their appearance - I admit it - and sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm wrong. </p> <p>IK - I know for a fact, that I would not EVER assume that you didn't care about your appearance because you had undyed gray hair. There are many more factors that go into that type of assumption!</p> <p>I am probably about 90% gray and I dye my hair and get high- and low- lights - and I feel great about it - and enjoy trying different mixes of colors. It is just part of my monthly routine, to go to my hairdresser (who I love!) - and I thoroughly enjoy going and sitting for a couple of hours, either taking the time to read a book, or just chatting with my hairdresser about "girl-stuff." Its fun - its an experience - and its who I am! I am also someone who puts make-up on everyday and wear nailpolish almost all of the time - so, dying my hair just comes "natural" to the high-maintenance woman that I am. (P.S. - MaryK, I LOVE your dyed hair - love.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820985 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 04:31:08 +0000 Krista 820985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>/threadjack</p> <p>Diana and Zap - I work in a high school so I get a LOT of comments about Rogue and the occasional reference to Storm from X-men... it's a lot of fun! Not the reason I keep my white streak, mind you, but still good conversations with the kids!</p> <p>/end of threadjack (sorry IK!)/ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820980 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 04:28:15 +0000 rachylou 820980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A lot, also in my mind, depends on your personal style. I think I'd have a conniption if Mary K didn't do her hair... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820969 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 04:19:38 +0000 Anonymous 820969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yep, me too;) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820967 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 04:17:55 +0000 Diana 820967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>PS - If I had a white streak I would totally keep it. Because secretly I want to be Rogue. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820961 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 04:11:39 +0000 Krista 820961@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK - I have had a white streak over my right temple since my mid-20's. I am 39 now. I've gone through the process of dying it, highlighting it and letting it go natural. It's now been 5 years since I put color in it. I, personally, love my white streak. I think it looks wickedly awesome and I don't really care what other people think. So, I have one rule:</p> <p>My hair - my business. Other people's hair - their business.</p> <p>So, to answer your most recent question, you are not conveying any message about being clueless if you have some grey hair. You will just have some grey hair and I'm sure it will look fantastic. Your hair - your business! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820919 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 03:27:36 +0000 Anonymous 820919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok, I'll bite.... What is your specific concern Misie and why do you feel so threatened by this concept of "embellishing" oneself?</p> <p>(And FYI unless you are leaving your house without a trace of makeup and no grooming whatsoever, you ain't looking 100% "real" either... just sayin'... Really, anything done to change our primeval selves, which might include hairy legs, armpits, stinking breath and the like, constitutes embellishment and alteration of the " real").</p> <p>Different strokes for different folks. For instance, I choose not to cover my acne scars with makeup because I feel better letting people see what's there and not hide them. However, I am not going to condemn someone who prefers a face full of makeup. So what? Should I start preaching that women with a full face of makeup are fake? </p> <p>Part of my right to choose is to allow others to choose for themselves. </p> <p>The world is hard enough already, we should stop criticizing each other.</p> <p>... and yes, Mary looks AMAZING because she is AMAZING!</p> <p>Sorry for the threadjack IK:)<br /> and heck with the gray hair...you are friggin fabulous. Flaunt them;) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820918 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 03:27:06 +0000 Janet 820918@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LOL, IK! </p> <p>As I think many here have said, I think anyone as fab as you who has a great, flattering hairstyle is not going to be dismissed for having some grey hair! You look awesome no matter what! </p> <p>One of my dear friends refuses to dye her hair, even though her husband bugs her about it all the time (ugh, he even uses me as an example: "Janet covers her grey hair, why don't you do yours?"). She is maybe 10% grey with very dark thick hair. She is also about as low maintenance as you can get: no makeup, no heels, etc. She loves to wear color, though, and has fun with clothes. But more importantly, she is a very busy, respected, successful medical professional who knows her priorities, and sitting in a salon chair for two hours every six weeks is not on the list. </p> <p>We all have our own priorities for looking and feeling good. If coloring your hair doesn't rank for you, don't do it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820902 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 03:16:36 +0000 MsMary 820902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>But enough about me, let's talk about you.</p> <p>What do YOU think of me?</p> <p>;)</p> <p>I think you look super fab and your grays only add to your fabness! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820892 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 03:10:21 +0000 ironkurtin 820892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Heya guys, I have dark hair with noticeable single gray hairs in it, I'm hardly a silver fox. I'm not even salt and pepper yet. So to bring it back to ME... so what I am getting here is, if I have a nice haircut, hopefully I'm not broadcasting "I am clueless" when people see my grays? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820877 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:59:54 +0000 MsMary 820877@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fortunately I'm also not going for "everybody thinks I look amazing," so it's all good. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820850 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:40:03 +0000 Misia 820850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IMO fake anything do NOT spell out AMAZING!<br /> All these women below do, lol, yes and even the last young one in #5 </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820842 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:30:05 +0000 Jaime 820842@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't believe this timely (for me) and huge conversation has materialized overnight! I am overdue for a haircut and one reason I am delaying is I keep going back and forth about what to do about my hair color. My original color was nearly black, I started going grey in my 20's and I have been coloring it ever since and I think I am ready to stop. These are my main thoughts that echo lots of the interesting thoughts in this thread:</p> <p>1. Incoming roots looks more unkempt than grey hair to me. (But see Maria Cornejo for my growing in roots role model.)<br /> 2. My hair grows fast and if I don't touch up the roots every 2 weeks I am back to #1.<br /> 3. My mother let her hair go white and it is gorgeous.<br /> 4. My scalp is feeling quite miserable from over 2 decades of dye.<br /> 5. The color that is adequate to cover my grey is warmer than my naturally cooler hair color and I don't love it.<br /> 6.. It is just hair! If I let it go grey and hate it I can dye it again!</p> <p>On the other hand, I am seriously considering some sort of serious skin intervention to deal with the pigmentation (and other age related issues) on my face. I don't see a contradiction between fighting my aging skin but experimenting with letting my aging hair be. Just thought I would throw that out there! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820827 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:07:22 +0000 Anonymous 820827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I started greying when I was 14 and judging by the huge chunks of hair that just appear highlighted, I must be at least 20% grey. I have always dyed my hair, as I don't like my very dark, natural hair color. I have not thought about letting my hair sans dye. </p> <p>I would not think someone looks unkept because of grey hair. However, I'll be honest, I think that past a certain age, you really have to put a little more work onto haircare, grooming, a good hairsyle etc, especially if you are aiming for a polished look. Clothes alone are not going to do it. </p> <p>And MaryK, IMO, your "after" is AMAZING. So yes, you are accomplishing your " looking good" goal big time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820819 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 01:47:12 +0000 MsMary 820819@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Really! I don't necessarily need people to think my hair is naturally blond. I just want to look good. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820815 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 01:43:14 +0000 Thistle 820815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry for any reprition here as i did ot get a chance to read all of th comment. I don't think it means she doesn't care, but I would work with a stylist to make it look fab as you grey.</p> <p>A woman I work with has the most fantastic white hair. She started going grey at 16 and was completely white by 30. Still, she looks so good. She styles it well and wears colors that flatter. Some people think she dyes it that color! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820814 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 01:43:07 +0000 carolbee 820814@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, interesting discussion, so have to throw in my 2c worth. No, I don' assume women have given up, as others have commented it depends on the overall package.</p> <p>I dyed mine for about 30 years and as I have a very short cut it was getting too difficult as the greys would be showing a week later. Around 6 years ago we travelled around Oz for a year and I made the decision to let it grow out. Once I had some time to get used to it (and it did take some time) I quite liked it. I have recently had silver highlights put in on the top just to give it a bit more texture, and I love it.</p> <p>For those ladies with problems with the texture of their hair, my stylist was very frustrated when cutting mine because the greys were much coarser and would stick out all over the place. I changed my routine so that I only shampoo my hair about every 7-10 days, BUT I put conditioner on it every day. It has made all the difference, my stylist says my hair now is totally different. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820812 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 01:40:03 +0000 Misia 820812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha... really? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820801 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 01:32:09 +0000 MsMary 820801@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ROFL! Good thing "authentic" isn't at the top of my list of style goals! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820763 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 00:50:38 +0000 Misia 820763@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gray hair + the excellent haircut = BEAUTIFUL in my book anyway!<br /> I actully prefer Mary K hair in before pic, she looks more authentic, and just as old as in her After. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820721 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 00:17:08 +0000 cloud9 820721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>After reading some comments, I offer up more questions to ponder...</p> <p>How's coloring your hair different from wearing makeup? Isn't both purposes to enhance a look (whether enhancement is needed is purely at wearer's Subjectivity)<br /> Do you consider people not wearing makeup are "given up"?<br /> Aren't hair and makeup contribute to aesthetics?<br /> Aren't clothing and accessories contribute to aesthetics?<br /> Isn't certain clothes and styling just look better in comparison ?<br /> Isn't certain hair color, hair style, makeup just look better in comparison?<br /> Isn't it the total package that matter? And isn't it always?</p> <p>We all have our own preferences and insecurities, and style goals. What looks good to me may not please your eyes. What you perceive as aging may not be what catches others' attention. ( Kate Middleton's portrait for example). Culture and social norm play a big part, whether we like it or not. I do think they will influence ones choice, for better or worse, and everywhere in between. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820694 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 23:51:40 +0000 Jenava 820694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I dye my hair. I just don't like the way my white hairs look...</p> <p>But, I do NOT think that going grey means you "don't care". I think it's an image point, just like everything else about style and fashion. I think it's all about making choices about your appearance that reflect who you are, and that does not have to mean that you dye your greys. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/undyed-gray---do-you-assume-she-doesnt-care-about-her-appearance/page/3#post-820685 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 23:47:03 +0000 anchie 820685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, gee, where to start on this one. I have not login here for many months because I don't relate any more to Angie style. I am not into trousers or androgynous style because I am not stick thin and this style does not suit my body. I prefer more ladylike style, dresses and skirts. But I check forum occasionally and when I saw this topic, I had to react because it is very close to my heart. </p> <p>29. July 2012 I have almost died because of hear color. I had such a bad allergic reaction, I ended up in hospital, and for months after that I was on steroids and suffered from all kinds of problems related to it. I am not yet fully recovered. I have being coloring my hair for more than 20 years without any problems until that day. I am 43 now but started going gray when I was 20 and I am now about 75% gray. After this incident I had no choice, I stopped coloring my hair. To make the process of going gray easier, I cut my shoulder length hair into pixie. It is now more than a month that I have cut out all of the colored hair. </p> <p>I was very surprised by the reactions. I have received numerous compliments from the guys. It seems they really like it. Some of them even thought that I colored it silver on purpose. And to my surprise I like it also. I think it suits my coloring much more than dark blond that I was using before. But women reactions have disappointed me very much. They act as if I have betrayed them, as if I am playing against some unwritten rules. They try to be helpful and always recommend some hair color that is allegedly not harmful and they don't understand when I say that I don't want to color my hair any more. And I don't understand what is wrong with gray hair. It is just a color, same as blond, red, brown, black or pink. Why such a stigma on gray? Why it has to translate to old or unkempt? Please help me understand. </p>