https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 20:51:51 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1796269 Sat, 08 Apr 2017 20:53:20 +0000 Staysfit 1796269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aziraphale, kudos to your daughter for her accomplishment! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1796045 Sat, 08 Apr 2017 01:31:43 +0000 Aziraphale 1796045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well said, Staysfit! I've never liked the phrase myself, although I recognize that it's not meant to be an insult. My own mother was useless at math(s), by her own admission, but my daughter's school has just skipped her to the next grade level in math -- another example of how math being exclusively a boys' subject is nonsense. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1795058 Wed, 05 Apr 2017 19:36:03 +0000 Greyscale 1795058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad I stumbled onto this thread!</p> <p>My grandmother went to Wellesley College (class of 1930) on a scholarship for a local high school student. She got her degree in physics -- and it must have been a very exciting time to be a physics student, with so many new discoveries changing how we look at the world. I remember one day she was microwaving some food and told me that when she learned about microwave energy in her classes, they had no idea it would become so useful! After college, she worked as a reference librarian for her whole career. Like my mother, she loved raising a family but she really treasured her work life. She was always a scientist at heart, and when she passed away just before I finished my PhD, I dedicated my dissertation to her, my family's first scientist.</p> <p>I have an undergrad degree in math from MIT (my PhD is in biology, but I use math daily in my research) and I am so lucky that I grew up never hearing the usual insinuations that girls aren't good at math. I give my parents a lot of credit for that, though some was just plain luck.</p> <p>Sometimes I find myself rationalizing purchases with reasoning that maaaaaybe wouldn't stand up to scrutiny, and I think that's what the 'girl math' phrase is getting at. I don't like calling that girl math. But we do lots of real math here on YLF -- costs per wear, clothing budgets -- so never think style doesn't need math! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793957 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 01:31:45 +0000 rachylou 1793957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to add someone else's mom. She was stay-at-home... sort of. She didn't earn the family money, but she was president of a huge all-volunteer organization, with international connections. Quite a public role.</p> <p>On the offside: I suppose that's old fashioned - women not working for wages, yet doing society's work in a public way. I wonder a bit about women going to work (thus leaving the volunteer pool) and social organizations becoming businesses albeit non-profit ones. Is it working? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793915 Sun, 02 Apr 2017 22:42:51 +0000 unfrumped 1793915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wonderful stories! Resonates with some things my own mom went through.<br /> My experience dig the phrase " girl math" is like liz's. So I never associated if really with math or intelligence but with perhaps not being really honest with oneself about expenditures. Such as not being able to get a refund but having store credit, so that then seemed " free". So I always found it unsettling because I wanted to keep better track of expenditures and to be more aware myself of choices I'd made. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793907 Sun, 02 Apr 2017 22:03:23 +0000 harmonica 1793907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for sharing everyone! The stories tell of hardship, strength and love for your passion. They are just as important today as for previous generations. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793770 Sun, 02 Apr 2017 05:40:52 +0000 Suz 1793770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a lovely and moving thread. It's amazing to think about these strong and capable women. Thank you for sharing, everyone.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793760 Sun, 02 Apr 2017 04:09:58 +0000 Staysfit 1793760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ryce, an interesting coincidence that we both have moms that are pharmacists. I wasn't pushed to take a lot of math in college, but I took one math course every semester until I graduated. It was the honors math sequence which meant we were deriving the theories and equations as well as learning the wrote math. I loved it. I struggled with the final course I took. It was highly theoretical. I can't recall what it was, but it was well beyond Differential Equations. I will be the first to admit that I still add and subtract using my fingers. (Mostly by pressing numbers on a calculator, but also by counting).. </p> <p>Style Fan, we could do a separate thread for the ways that we have personally been discriminated against just because we are women! How awful! I will say that was still going on in the medical world when I was in my training, but I see much less of it now in my specialty, at least in my community.</p> <p>Karen13, was that a public school? I love how your mom passed her feminism on to you by demonstrating how to be an advocate for your rights. She must have been an amazing woman, I'm sorry for her loss.</p> <p>Sara L., Kudos to you and your DH who have negotiated roles in your relationship to best suit the needs of your family and that play to your strengths. It sounds like DH was able to make good use of his time!</p> <p>Summer, SAHM's are just as honorable as those that work outside the home. My aunt, who was my role model in many ways, never went to college. She was a SAHM also, but one of the smartest, funniest and most socially skilled women I ever knew. She's also one of my style icons. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793423 Fri, 31 Mar 2017 17:35:12 +0000 Summer 1793423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Angie</b>, you made me smile:&nbsp; it's MATHS for me, too!</p> <p>I've never used the Girl Math(s) term myself, but neither have I ever found it offensive. To me, it's simply a lighthearted, off-the-cuff term like "man flu".</p> <p>My mother was a stay-at-home mum, as was quite usual for her generation, but she was capable, intelligent and extremely wise, and I've always been immensely proud of her - glittering career or no.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793375 Fri, 31 Mar 2017 16:00:02 +0000 Sara L. 1793375@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand the term "girl math" and the connotations as Gaylene and Liz describes them, but I've never used it. &nbsp;I have a clothing budget and it doesn't make sense in that context.</p> <p>Jenava - I'm the main breadwinner in my family as well. &nbsp;My husband was a stay-at-home dad for five years. &nbsp;He had a bachelor's degree prior to that and got an MBA while home with the kids. He went back to work a few years' ago. &nbsp;He was tired of staying home and had his new degree that he wanted to use. &nbsp;He was a much better stay-at-home parent than I would have been. &nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793369 Fri, 31 Mar 2017 15:48:58 +0000 karen13 1793369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love these stories! Thanks so much for sharing them. I salute all of the women who broke ground for us all.</p> <p>My mom was (and I am) a staunch feminist - we wear that label proudly! She was our family's steady breadwinner, as my dad's business was seasonal. She put herself through undergraduate school because her parents felt that college was for her brothers, not girls. She got her Masters at age 50 while working full time - straight A's of course!</p> <p>In fifth grade, I got in trouble for being late to chorus, and was sent outside. Several other kids who were misbehaving were sent outside of the same period, and the teacher forgot who had done what, so assigned us all writing 500 times "I will act like a lady". This was in the mid 1970s.</p> <p>As a somewhat sassy girl, I used ditto marks for the last 4-5 pages. When I got in trouble for that, my mom found out about the assignment and wrote a blistering letter about the inappropriateness of that phrase as a punishment. It was posted on the bulletin board in the teachers' lounge (my sister saw it) as a warning not to mess with my mom' kids.</p> <p>We lost Mom far too soon and I miss her every day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793277 Fri, 31 Mar 2017 09:37:33 +0000 Style Fan 1793277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Staysfit what a moving tribute to your mother.&nbsp; Such an inspiration.&nbsp; Thank you for sharing this with us.&nbsp; And thank you to all the other members of the community for sharing their stories.</p> <p>My parents overcame many obstacles and they certainly did not come to the end of their struggles when they died.&nbsp; Their story could have a happy ending or a sad ending depending on how you interpret it.&nbsp; I will leave it at that.&nbsp; My brother in law (my sister's husband) said that my father was one of the smartest people he had met (my BIL and sister are profs) and he was never given a break no matter how hard he tried.&nbsp; That is true but my father did survive some incredible odds in WWII and he never ever gave up.&nbsp; He&nbsp; always looked for a solution.&nbsp; Neither of my parents were able to go to University but they valued education and wanted that for their children.</p> <p>I am a feminist.&nbsp; I spent 35 years working as a Social Worker and psychotherapist.&nbsp; By my own choice I spent most of my career in clinics that serviced marginalized and traumatized populations.&nbsp; My work was extremely satisfying to me.&nbsp; I went on to teach at the University even though I had a Masters and not a PhD.&nbsp; Some of my friends have gone on to get their PhDs in later years and so did Staysfit's mother.&nbsp; I am very impressed.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>The term girl math does not offend me.&nbsp; If it bothers others&nbsp;and there are obviously good reasons then I am not going to use it.&nbsp; I have used it but I was not really thinking about it as a demeaning term.&nbsp; I always excelled in math.&nbsp; My first university degree is in math.&nbsp;&nbsp;I love doing math problems.&nbsp; I think it is fun.&nbsp; I would probably have been a great math teacher.&nbsp; </p> <p>I am old enough to know that women have been discriminated against for being women.&nbsp; I was told in high school that I was not eligible for&nbsp;one of the scholarships being offered&nbsp;&nbsp;just because I was&nbsp;female.&nbsp; The reason given was that this institution did not want to invest money in women because women left the work force when they became mothers.&nbsp; I went somewhere&nbsp;else.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793172 Thu, 30 Mar 2017 23:05:15 +0000 Anonymous 1793172@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such inspiring stories! So many of us are lucky to have been raised by strong successful women!!</p> <p> Staysfit, my mom was a pharmacist, too. She grew up in rural Alabama in the Depression, was first in her extended family to go to college, and was the only woman in her graduating class in 1950. Her little town was so small that her high school graduating class was only 18 students. Her best female friend in that class went to medical school and had a long career as a pediatrician. My mom, too, worked as a hospital pharmacist. At the end of her career, she was head pharmacist for a major teaching hospital. </p> <p>My MIL, who is our only living parent now, was the child of two immigrants from Eastern Europe who, like your grandparents, had little education and were never terribly proficient in English. After my MIL's third child was born, she went back to school, obtained her PhD and had a 30-year teaching career at the university level. She didn't fully retire until age 80. Now 86, she just returned from a 3-week trip to Southeast Asia. I wish I had her energy!</p> <p>Both my moms and I have been lucky to have extremely supportive and encouraging husbands by our sides. I am truly in awe of women who manage successful careers while being single parents!</p> <p>As for the math issue, my mom insisted when I went to college that I take "real math", hence I ended up taking two years of Calculus. I frankly thought that was a tremendous waste when I decided to go to law school, but it didn't take long for me to come to appreciate that the intellectual rigor of that experience was invaluable. As a bonus, the fact that I was "math confident" turned out to be a plus - a lot my professional peers weren't particularly comfortable calculating damages, present values, etc., and those skills offered me a way to distinguish myself. My mom also refused to allow me to take typing in high school, saying "if a woman can type, that's what the men will expect her to do." That turned out to be a liability when computers came on the scene - haha! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1793013 Thu, 30 Mar 2017 10:20:42 +0000 Staysfit 1793013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>L'Abeille, your MIL sounds like an amazing woman. It's wonderful that you had her as a role model.</p> <p>Rachy, I hope no one oppresses your spirit, ever! Your mom and grandmother sound like strong captains.</p> <p>Kiwigal/Sally, I'm sorry for your loss. Both your MIL and mother sound like amazing women. </p> <p>Appropriate, I saw Hidden Figures with DH. I agree it's a great movie. It had so many interesting aspects, not only about the strength of the female characters. </p> <p>Jenava and Laurie, you both made me think of my MIL and my own relationship with DH. His mother was also the breadwinner. My FIL worked, and is well educated, but never kept steady employment like my MIL. In my household, I'm the breadwinner. I have had two very strong women, my mom and MIL as role models. DH, unlike his father has an excellent career and steady income, but his hours have been more flexible than mine and he has in fact taken on some of the domestic roles often given to women. He will cook, clean, do laundry. He is a great father. I think he has times where he resents doing some of these things, but he did have a role model in his own family. My FIL does all of these domestic tasks too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792847 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 23:01:37 +0000 Laurie 1792847@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just yesterday we held a &nbsp;funeral for both of my husband's parents who passed away within months of each other in 2016. &nbsp;As it was a military funeral, the focus was on my father-in-law and his service. &nbsp;Interestingly, &nbsp;the family friend who spoke at the service about his time on ships with my father in law, and so forth, only got choked up completely when he was speaking about Margaret, my mother in law, and her quiet influence on her husband who was a big and difficult personality.&nbsp;</p> <p>She was from Endicott NY, from a poor family. &nbsp; Margaret's mother had a grueling job in the Endicott Shoe factory, </p> <p>and raised 3 girls plus her husband's 2 children from a previous marriage, mostly alone after - we think - kicking her husband out for bad behavior. &nbsp; She clearly provided an excellent example of independence for her daughters. Margaret and her older sister went off to NYC when they turned 18 and earned nursing degrees in the late '40's. &nbsp;She worked as a geriatric nurse for many years, and it was ironic and sad that she suffered from Alzheimers in her last years.</p> <p>&nbsp;Margaret, when I met her 25 years ago, was a very quiet - almost meek -person. &nbsp; Lou and I were totally surprised recently when her older sister told us that, as a young woman, Margaret got her pilot's license! &nbsp;I am now reviewing all of my memories of her with a different perspective just knowing this detail.</p> <p>As someone commented above, my mom was an at-home mom so I did not learn anything about balancing work and home. &nbsp; I wish I'd been more comfortable with my mother-in-law through the years and had more meaningful conversations to talk about her role as a working mother in the 60's and beyond. &nbsp;My husband's father was very domineering and we did not get along real well because I did not tolerate his abusive attitude toward his son, and certainly not toward me. &nbsp;That put a huge strain on the relationship I was able to have with Margaret.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have been the main income of our family for the last 15 years. &nbsp;I wish I'd had more strong female role models. I also wish my husband had had a few at-home-Dad/main parent role models. &nbsp;He had a challenging and lonely job which he did extremely well.</p> <p>Very nostalgic time for us. This thread hit a chord. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792778 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 20:19:27 +0000 Jenava 1792778@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very nice thread. &nbsp;Uplifting to read about smart, capable and successful women! &nbsp;My mom herself went back to school when I was in elementary school (my sister had just started kindergarten, my brother was also in elementary). &nbsp;It took her a long time to finish, but she graduated when I was a junior in HS with a BS in nursing. &nbsp;By the time she got there she had worked nights supporting our family in addition to going to school, because my dad's business was not profitable enough for him to take much of a salary. &nbsp;She also continued to support my dad's business until he closed it a year later, at which time she became the bread-winner.</p> <p>I am the main income earner in my household, as well as the more educated one, and the least domestically inclined. &nbsp;It's funny how I still feel that gendered roles in households color how people see me/what people expect of me. &nbsp;And, I'm 100 pct certain it has unconsciously effected my career in ways I do not even realize. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792561 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:36:07 +0000 Staysfit 1792561@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I will be back this afternoon to comment, thanks for the lovely tributes to your parents and grandparents everyone! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792451 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 01:47:33 +0000 cindysmith 1792451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such beautiful stories. Thank you both for sharing them! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792428 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 00:06:10 +0000 Sal 1792428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Staysfit, thanks for your tribute to your Mum, &nbsp;What a strong inspiring woman she is!</p> <p>L'Abeille, your MIL also sounds impressive and organised, a lovely tribute as well.</p> <p>My MIL passed away in December. &nbsp;She was a Maths teacher, School Head of Department, Church volunteer and mother of four. &nbsp;She was also a widow for 20 years, which was a great sadness to her. &nbsp;She was feisty capable and kind, and we miss her a lot.</p> <p>My Mum is 76 and still lives on the family farm with my Dad (who works full time at 77). &nbsp;She brought up three daughters and held several families together through the 70s and 80s, and cared for her mother with dementia. &nbsp;In 1990 she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, which has crippled her and restricted her physical capabilities greatly. &nbsp;She has an MA in German and was Dux of her school, and a teacher prior to marriage, but did not teach once she moved to the farm. &nbsp;She is brave and &nbsp;independent and wise.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792386 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 21:05:32 +0000 Angie 1792386@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your Mum sounds INCREDIBLE, Staysfit. It's heartwarming to see her honoured in this way. She is hardy stock.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have never used the term "girl math". I don't even use the word "math" - it's "MATHS" in regular English! I don't see the point of the phrase.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792381 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 20:55:56 +0000 L'Abeille 1792381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Back to (I think) Staysfit's original intent with this thread, I just want to give a shout-out to my MIL. DH was born in 1950, with a sister a few years younger. Mom breast-fed both babies, back when it was just "not done" and she had to fight with the doctors about it.</p> <p>Later, she was a career woman in the '50s when women didn't do that. She was office manager for an audiologist right up to her retirement (and her daughter followed in her footsteps in the field.) Much of what I learned/figured out, about being a working mom with 4 kids, I learned from her example (eg she planned menus a week at a time and posted them on the inside kitchen cupboard door). I didn't learn any of that stuff from my mom, who stayed home with 2 kids and never developed or bequeathed to me any organizational skills whatsoever. So yay Mom! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792370 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 20:24:50 +0000 Liz 1792370@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LIke Gaylene, I've never heard the term in a context that had to do with literal math and science and whether girls/women are able to it. They obviously can do math, and I'm grateful to them <i>for</i> doing it and enjoying it (many of them in the face of opposition). </p> <p>As I've heard the term, it has always come up in the context of women somehow trying to justify buying this / returning that / therefore getting to get this instead, or only owning XX amount of this and therefore I can buy XX amount of that. It's about sleight-of-hand accounting or personal justification about how much a woman owns, and when and how she buys clothes. For that reason, I'm not a fan of the term at all. I'd much prefer women are just above-board: look at your finances, make decisions about how to allocate them, then go and make your buying decisions. No need for games or justification or hiding -- just make choices and own them.&nbsp; </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792323 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 18:13:56 +0000 Gaylene 1792323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've always interpreted that ridiculous "girl math" comment as a rhetorical, "wink-wink" device women use to rationalize expenditures on themselves as opposed to anything to do with actual mathematics or mathematical abilities.</p> <p>I detest the phrase because it slyly perpetuates the hidden conflict experienced by many women when they consciously choose to spend money on themselves instead of their families. As Approprio says, it's a feminist issue. </p> <p>And kudos to everyone who recognizes the accomplishments of their parents, grandparents, and elders--so many amazing stories of courage, dedication, and achievement which are taken for granted by the generations which followed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792310 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 17:38:52 +0000 JAileen 1792310@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Approprio, we joke about if it had happened to my mother now, we'd own the company! </p> <p>I want to add what girl math really is. A friend of my son's, a girl a year behind him in school, got PERFECT scores on both the ACT and the SAT. She was the only girl in the US to accomplish that amazing feat that year. That is girl math!!!</p> <p>Of course now, she's no longer a girl. She's a woman in her 20s. She earned her PhD in Astronomy and Astrophysics. We still talk about how she made this town look good. I barely know her, yet I'm so proud of her. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792301 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 17:25:22 +0000 rachylou 1792301@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I watched something on Billie Jean King. I remember not liking her particularly as a little girl. Well, I also did and still do find playing games unfathomable. (I do not understand running back and forth between painted lines, lol.)</p> <p>My mother says I probably didn't like her because she had bad hair. Lol. That sounds like me. But I rather like her now - I mean the old film reel appeals now when it didn't used to.</p> <p>The thing tho - so I was aware of all the whatnot when I was a child, but I didn't have a real sense of time. I didn't get how long ago Title 9 was passed. I also don't think I had a sense of how pervasive and oppressive the messaging was towards girls. My mother says they used to tell them to go home and work on their knitting. But my mother always dismissed that and I don't think I picked up on how serious everyone was about that - even as I was living it. I find that fascinating. My mom made me do book reports on Eleanor Roosevelt and so forth for her. My mom was always a big boss. My grandmothers were bosses. As a child, my experience was: you're a worker bee or you're the boss.</p> <p>Sense of self and others... where does it come from? And why didn't the women of my family ever really care? (Yeah, too busy being oppressors to worry about being oppressed... ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792295 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 17:19:32 +0000 approprio 1792295@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Staysfit:&nbsp;</b>that's an amazing story. You're right, we shouldn't take these achievements for granted.&nbsp;<b></p> <p>JAileen</b>, I didn't spot your tribute in the original thread and I'm sorry if my quip was in any way disrespectful to your mother's career. I'm now incandescent with rage that she was fired when she had a family to support. </p> <p>That said, I was only half joking.&nbsp;I've made no secret of the fact that I see fashion as a feminist issue and I firmly believe if it were easier to talk without value judgements about the very real costs a woman incurs in her life just to make herself presentable, we might be better equipped to address some of the ethical questions we all struggle with every time we open our wallets. I don't use the term myself, but that's what I've always understood as the meaning of "girl math". I've never seen or heard it used to imply that girls can't do rocket science.</p> <p>Speaking of which, I'd like to recommend the movie <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4846340/">Hidden Figures</a>, the amazing history of the African American women who worked at NASA as mathematicians, engineers and programmers in the early days of the space race. If you haven't seen it, cue it up and grab some popcorn. I wish I'd known their story when I was starting out in engineering.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792282 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 16:53:13 +0000 SandyG 1792282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Both of these lively tributes are so impressive and deserve a wide audience. Fantastic and dedicated influencers, family treasures, and now we know them a little bit, too. Many thanks!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792198 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 14:28:50 +0000 JAileen 1792198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Staysfit, your tribute to your mother is wonderful. I can see that you got where you are because of her.</p> <p>Thank you for seeing why girl math has to stop. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792152 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 10:48:33 +0000 Anonymous 1792152@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AMEN.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/triggered-by-jaileen-a-tribute-to-our-parents-and-grandparents#post-1792145 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 10:14:38 +0000 Staysfit 1792145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>JAileen's commented about her mother and father after being triggered by a conversation about "girl math", a term which many found insulting. Her remarks were poignant, and describe what an unfair society her mother lived in, she said....</p> <p>"My mother who I mentioned above, was a math major in college. She became a statistician for a fortune 500 company. She worked while my father was in grad school, supporting them both. She was paid less than the men, solely because she was a woman. When she became pregnant, she was fired because they said it was improper for pregnant women to be working. My father did not yet have a job. I think it was worse for a pregnant woman to starve. If it sounds like I'm taking it personally, I'm not. I'm just sticking up for my mother."</p> <p>I am impressed by this and want to honor JAileens mother and add my mother to the pool.</p> <p>My mother grew up in a very poor household. She lived with her grandparents who were immigrants and didn't speak English, and my grandmother who had an 8th grade education. Her father died of Multiple Sclerosis when she was 9. She had Polio when she was 6, and spent a full year in the hospital. My mother was very smart and somehow managed to skip a grade. Her uncle paid for her to go to college and she became a pharmacist. She was one of three women in her class. She worked for years in a hospital pharmacy. At the time it was a male dominated field. She was definitely paid less than the men she worked with and passed over for supervisory positions as well. She divorced my father when I was 10, but she went on at that time and earned a masters degree in pharmacy. My mother worked full time and supported my brother and I as a single parent. Somehow she managed to get everything done. My mom continued to take some classes at the local college. She studied Spanish. She took photography classes. Then after my brother and I finished our education, when she was 63, my mom completed a Pharm. D. She wanted the degree, not because she needed it but because it was the degree that all the more recent graduates had. She continued working in hospital pharmacy up until this year when she retired. She's 77. No girl math for her either. My mom's motto is that you can accomplish anything you want if you try. She truly believes this. She is handicapped from her Polio, and she doesn't let anything get in her way. </p>