https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 02 May 2026 12:24:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-781533 Sun, 25 Nov 2012 05:15:52 +0000 Jonesy 781533@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this thread! Cracking up at the sex-to-laundry ratio :)! I *do* enjoy doing laundry, and I do several loads each week. I would say I certainly devote more time to laundry than to sex in a typical week. Hmmm.........</p> <p>Whenever the topic of number of times per week comes up, I always wonder about how often typical married people experience actual lust. I mean, do the women having sex several times each week experience lust before each time, or...? Not throwing this out as an actual question for YLFers, just musing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-781234 Sat, 24 Nov 2012 16:12:12 +0000 Mo 781234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thought I would weigh back in with some market research update in my household. Once a week may be just fine for me, but apparently it's barely enough from his perspective.<br /> Something Rae said about hormones on the pill and such may be something I need to look into switching up.</p> <p>Easing into Yay territory,<br /> Mo<br /> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-781150 Sat, 24 Nov 2012 11:32:03 +0000 ManidipaM 781150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to say I'm mostly a nay and usually pretty comfortable there. Would I like to move to yay? Depends... I suspect I'll need the same sort of logistical support as Una describes, with just a somewhat different permutation of domestic retainers! Otherwise, the move wouldn't be worth it, so to spear :-D</p> <p>Funny thing, though, was that the times in my life when I was most in the mood (or hormonal framework) for Yay were the times when it was hardest to actually find time for it. Like when I was sleeping through my first trimester of pregnancy... very literally, unfortunately! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-780731 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 05:48:44 +0000 Lyn D. 780731@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to admit to reading and enjoying this thread, but, since this is a topic I haven't discussed with my face-to face friends, I will leave it at that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-780352 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 03:43:35 +0000 Janet 780352@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, my ratio is about even...I'm hoping that is a good thing, or at least not a bad thing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-779987 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 16:02:07 +0000 Aziraphale 779987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do laundry at least four times a week. I wonder what that says about me? About my marriage? Do I prefer laundry to sex? Or is it that having clean clothes and towels is a more pressing concern? </p> <p>I wonder if you can assess the health of a marriage by your sex-to-laundry ratio? And then there's the fact that sex leads to more laundry.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-779533 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 22:33:43 +0000 catgirl 779533@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't do laundry either! HAHA. I'm a useless wife. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-779447 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:48:36 +0000 Mo 779447@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's called champagne Sunday in our house ;)<br /> Better than bi-weekly payday, or some such alternative I guess! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-779336 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 18:29:42 +0000 rachylou 779336@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Um, I can't even do laundry on a weekly basis. Where does everyone get all this time? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-779077 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 03:47:04 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 779077@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread is too funny. From glue to "inner lips". </p> <p>Sadly we are on the nay side these days. Having said that, we only live together the half time that he doesn't have his children so that makes a difference. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-778972 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 01:28:44 +0000 Isis 778972@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Parsley, I was also remembering that film, so funny! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-778360 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 04:13:04 +0000 Parsley 778360@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm reminded of a scene in the movie Annie Hall that I always found amusing:</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7nPkpdFAic" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7nPkpdFAic</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-778082 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 20:17:24 +0000 Anonymous 778082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm chuckling away </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-778014 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 18:40:43 +0000 catgirl 778014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not that lip, it was between her teeth and gums! AAGH! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-777850 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 13:48:36 +0000 Anonymous 777850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not to be crass, but @Una, inner lip??? Lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life/page/2#post-777526 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 22:17:22 +0000 Janet 777526@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like a friend of mine says, "Nobody loves you like you do." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777508 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 21:39:59 +0000 Aziraphale 777508@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Una -- HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Naughty librarian! </p> <p>But you're right, hormones play such a huge role. That ties in with what Deb said, about age and health and menopause, because hormone levels can fluctuate all over the place over course of your life. Stress can even play a role in the levels of various hormones.</p> <p>JR, I've had "teenage boy" phases in my life, too (my late teens/early twenties, couldn't focus on much else!) so I do know what it's like for guys. Well, some guys. But you know, they are not helpless on their own, and no one ever got a hairy palm from helping himself, lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777454 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 20:36:35 +0000 catgirl 777454@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had a friend who was prescribed a testosterone cream for some female issue. She was told to dab it on her inner lip with a finger. Well, apparently she was dabbing more than she should have, because she said she felt like a teenage boy. Sex was on her mind constantly - she couldn't focus on anything else. And she's a school librarian. Though it was of course hilarious, it gave us some insight into what it's like to be a guy and be driven by more than one brain. </p> <p>She did get the proper dosage worked out! We were afraid she'd start sprouting some chest hair. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777323 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 18:02:35 +0000 Anonymous 777323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777278 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 17:05:56 +0000 JR 777278@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sex as glue is a fantastic metaphor. That's exactly how I see it, although it never occurred to me to consider different strengths of glue. I wanted a well-glued marriage.</p> <p>I went through a time during pre-menopause when I was hyper-hormonal. My sex drive was something else. Sometimes I had to go sleep on the couch, because I could not possibly get back to sleep with my husband lying there and I knew he needed to sleep. So frustrating. If that's what men go through most of their lives, we really should have mercy on them.</p> <p>Without prescribing a one size fits all solution, I would say it comes down to balancing each other's needs in a respectful and considerate way. And having as much fun as possible doing it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777068 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 04:36:12 +0000 Kristin L 777068@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My BF has been a trooper for putting up with me lately. Normally we're a yay, but with the stress of my prelims I think it's been going a bit downhill. He's never said anything negative about it. I feel like he understands my stress level has been through the roof lately and realizes that this to shall pass. On average, though, it's been easier to make time for ourselves since we moved in together. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777041 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 04:00:13 +0000 annagybe 777041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bwahahaha! Have you seen my dating rants! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777031 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 03:42:38 +0000 Aziraphale 777031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mo -- I just re-read my post and realize I might have come across as a bit strident. That wasn't my intention. I know you are just asking the question because it's an interesting one, and you are not being judgy! (It's hard not to be curious about stuff that's important in our own lives, but so private that we generally don't discuss it with other people).</p> <p>Jonesy -- I KNOW. Wouldn't work for me, either. But, she has her reasons. It's her second marriage, and the first one was so very disastrous in that department (her husband criticized her performance at lot) that the fact that she's aroused at all is a big deal. With the new husband, she feels desired. That's a strong motivator. :-)</p> <p>She's also only been married to the new guy for a few years.</p> <p>My word, gossiping about other people's sex lives is fun, haha. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-777025 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 03:28:29 +0000 Anonymous 777025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nay</p> <p>His long hours and travel, our busy teens - their jobs and sports plus our own life, but the ahem 'quality' is much better than your friends </p> <p>Ps we are in our forties and married almost 19 years </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-776973 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 02:10:49 +0000 Jonesy 776973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've often been curious about this myself! I voted nay. I am truly fascinated by your friend, Elizabeth, who has sex almost daily but rarely has an orgasm. That sort of situation would, uh, not be workable for me :). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-776867 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 00:57:27 +0000 Aziraphale 776867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yep. They never ask the right questions! But it's totally true that most of us are at least a little idly curious. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-776770 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 22:59:19 +0000 Mo 776770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol @ sex as glue!! I totally agree that there are just averages, for every reason mentioned and then some. Like I said, no judgement. More sex isn't somehow better and less sex worse or anything else. Could be having it when you want vs when your partner does is more vital a statistic. Who knows? Just total curiousity. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-776757 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 22:49:31 +0000 Aziraphale 776757@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Deb, I agree with what you said. SO MUCH of this is affected by age, health, and whether or not you are past menopause. I've talked to my mother-in-law about this (she's in her early sixties), and she and all her friends of about the same age are suddenly having "reproductive system issues" that are new and alarming. We've had a giggle about it, and I know it's coming down the road one day for me too.</p> <p>I pay no attention to the so-called national averages, other than idle curiosity. I don't measure myself against them. My level of interest is what it is. There are times I do it to be accommodating, but I wouldn't knock myself out trying to "put out" for a man who wanted it many times a week because at that point, I don't think I'd be enjoying myself much. I AM NOT a warm place to...uh...I'll let you finish that sentence in your head. </p> <p>And anyway, they're averages for a reason. They include the rabbits and the nuns! Some people actually want it multiple times a week, some do it way more than they want to in order to please their spouses, and some couples work out a happy compromise (since there's usually a discrepancy in levels of interest). It's whatever works for the couple, although I think it is true that sex is *usually* an important part of the glue that holds a romantic relationship together. I guess for some couples, sex is like krazy glue -- a little goes a long way -- and for others, it's the Elmer's stuff that you need copious amounts of or else it'll all fall apart, lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-776495 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:26:00 +0000 bj1111 776495@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>mo, i'm in line with your gfs. though maybe i like the concept of yay, but may prefer the reality of nay. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/totally-ot-but-im-soooo-curious---sex-life#post-776427 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 18:38:47 +0000 JR 776427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I consider twice a week a minimum. We maintained that even with exhaustion and five young children and various marital difficulties (I guess you don't have to wonder how we produced five kids...) In better times, it went up.</p> <p>With hubby working out of the country, our averages might be a little lower right now, but that's basically lack of opportunity. It will be interesting to see how things shake out with hormonal shifts, general ageing, and living year-round under the same roof again (God willing).</p> <p>Seriously, I consider it a very important part of taking care of my hubby, so I have always made it a priority. Fortunately an enjoyable "chore". </p>