https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 09:31:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082680 Fri, 06 Dec 2019 22:18:02 +0000 Helena 2082680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>:D </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082674 Fri, 06 Dec 2019 22:10:20 +0000 Roxanna 2082674@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So I keep meaning to come up with a great response but haven’t had the time... but I have to say that this is my favorite post ever </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082379 Fri, 06 Dec 2019 03:28:46 +0000 cindysmith 2082379@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Basically, we are the same person. I love you for this! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082181 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 13:07:45 +0000 Gail 2082181@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I no longer care about one friend that makes zero effort to stay in touch. My husband and I helped her financially and in many other ways. I have struggled with this mightily for a long time, she is a lot of fun but I've come to the realization that why would I want to spend time and share my life &nbsp;when its clearly not important to her.<br />I no longer care about having a job to "keep busy" as everyone told me I needed to once my children grew up. I left my job in August and while I do miss certain aspects of it I'm free to spend more time with my husband who works from home and each day I choose how I would like to spend it.<br />The next one I'm working on : trying to not care what others are wearing and feeling that I should be wearing that too, that somehow this was the "right" outfit for the occasion. this is a really big one for me. I want to wear more color and where I live it seems like it's just not common. My recent purchase of the bright green JCrew coat is my first bold step. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082175 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 12:31:43 +0000 Sweet Hair 2082175@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You don't have to worry about anything you don't want to. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082169 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 12:09:13 +0000 Helena 2082169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gretchen, I still remember the day I packed all my business suits into a bag and donated them. It was the sartorial equivalent of ripping off a bandaid - ultimately necessary but not without pain. Lots of love to you as you work through your loss of your dad. Xx</p> <p>FI, I think that's an ongoing process ... Not caring might have been too flippant a choice of words - I still coat on the mascara and do crunches after all - not bossing me around is probably closer to the mark. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082167 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 11:23:31 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2082167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This kind of list is so hard for me, because it requires finding the line between conventions I truly don’t care and what I do want to devote my energy too. Well done on getting that sorted for yourself! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/3#post-2082147 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 05:55:00 +0000 Gretchen 2082147@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread is a perfect example of what's special about YLF - thanks <b>TG</b> for starting it, and everyone for providing such honest, transparent comments.&nbsp;</p> <p>I took a big step back from focusing on work this year. As <b>mainelady</b> said, I don't need to play all the instruments and lead the band. It's led to some challenging conversations, and also a style transition (if I'm only in the office 2-3 days a week, why do I have 17 blazers?), but both my physical and mental health are improved.&nbsp;</p> <p>For this year, I want to give up <b><u></u></b>worrying<b></b> about this work change. It's one thing to start it, it's another to live with it. And I haven't changed jobs since I lost my Dad, who was a major influence on me - so there's a lot of emotional work to do.&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;<br />On the a lighter note, there are a couple style/appearance things I want to let go:<br />- Criticizing myself in pictures. I've long hated having my picture taken. But a collage I did for our anniversary reminded me how important those mementos are. They're real, and they matter, even if in the moment all I can see is the double chin or the thicker midline.<br />- Boredom shopping. I need to stop with aimless online point and click. I've gotten much better at being selective when things make it to the house, but in many cases, they shouldn't have been ordered at all.<br />- Business formal. As part of this style transition, my truly formal clothes are feeling too much like a costume. It's time to lighten up, and find other ways to be situation-appropriate without defaulting to a suit.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082083 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 21:39:40 +0000 jussie 2082083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such a beautiful thread, so many excellent points raised.<br /> At this time I have let go of wearing jeans lol- unless they are the elastic waisted stretchy kind. Too uncomfortable at the waist. And I don’t enjoy jeans shopping so I’m just not doing it.<br /> Also I just passed on a heap of dresses that were no longer doing me any favors. Even though they were beautiful garments, they no longer worked for my body and face.<br /> As for certain relationships..... well..... that’s a chat for another day!<br /> And I agree there’s a lot of happiness to be gained with age. I don’t miss jeans. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082065 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 20:35:30 +0000 Helena 2082065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal, re: your original comment - and sorry that I didn't mention before - but I am so sorry that your friend has let you down in this way. I have been surprised by the people that have and have not come through with my Mom this year - mostly good surprises, but a few let downs for sure. I wonder if some people can't cope with sadness - and I also wonder if I've let friends down in a similar way; it breaks my heart to think so. Hope you are are feeling supported in other ways, and definitely not something you can just "not care about" - but something to let go of in time. xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082064 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 20:33:24 +0000 karen13 2082064@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much wisdom here. thank youHelena for sharing your thoughts, and to everyone else for chiming in. This is was keeps me reading YLF even when not able to post or comment as much as I’d like. You are all amazing and I have learned so much here in the past 5 years.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082059 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 19:51:24 +0000 Sal 2082059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nice work Helena - you have a motivational thread here that makes me feel positive going in to the New Year.&nbsp; So many great role models on the forum - we might have our own stuff going on but we support each other. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082044 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 18:04:46 +0000 Anonymous 2082044@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love this thread!</p> <p>I have come&nbsp; to accept that I will never be 23, 33,&nbsp; 43, or even 53 ever gain. Instead of mourning the passing of those years,&nbsp; I have learned to embrace the person that I have become at age 63 - ever changing each and every new year.</p> <p>I&nbsp; choose comfort without sabotaging style when it comes to fashion. I choose a "less is more" mentality when it comes to makeup and hair.</p> <p>I don't care about having "guns" or a "six pack". I only care about being independent as I age and that means maintaining a strong body and active life.</p> <p>It feels great not to stress about achieving perfection and embracing imperfection which makes us all unique. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082029 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 17:13:59 +0000 Helena 2082029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree Lisa - it's such a wonderful space where I feel I can be honest, even though it's just a portion of us that is shared here. Kudos to Angie for creating that because that is NOT easy irl, never mind on the Internet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082015 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 16:36:19 +0000 Anonymous 2082015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mainelady - I loved reading your thoughts. I nodded along to much of them , especially the comments &nbsp;on your relationship with your mother. &nbsp;I still am not at peace with my relationship with my late mother, and think about it all the time. &nbsp;It haunts me in my dreams, and I try to figure out what it was all about. &nbsp;I try to refocus by making sure the bond I have with my daughter remains as strong as ever. &nbsp;</p> <p>And can I say one thing here? &nbsp;I have occasionally talked about transparency and honesty on the forum - commenting on threads where I've suspected a (often new) &nbsp;poster to be less than *real*, if you know what I mean. &nbsp;It's because of discussions like this, where being open and real about intentions, thoughts, motives , fears etc is so important. &nbsp;I really feel that most of us actually know each other !&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082013 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 16:34:21 +0000 Anonymous 2082013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love this- and ditto Angie! Hugs Grace! We have a close family member experiencing chemo now too :(<br /> Will have to think more on mine, but yes to aging. I'm not about to spend $$$ for some "miracle in a bottle", despite being "middle aged." Also, I don't need "things you shouldn't wear/eat/buy over 40" lists!<br /> I also discard the idea that I need to fit into some casual norm. Skirts, dresses, and (comfortable of course) heels make me happy. Jeans (except my embroidered ones), tshirts, and tennis shoes make me unhappy. If that makes me "overdressed" at the grocery store- so be it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2082004 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 15:24:42 +0000 Aquamarine 2082004@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread, and eloquent, thoughtful posts.&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>I am definitely a work-in-progress, but self-acceptance is something I am getting better at. So, that involves letting go of what others think of me. I will never be the smartest, prettiest, thinnest, most popular person in the room, and I am finally OK with that. This doesn’t mean I am giving up...far from it. I will continue to fight the greys, the weight creep, and care about my appearance because&nbsp;<b>it’s important to me</b>. But comparing myself to others in so many ways...done with that. “Comparison is the thief of joy” is definitely my mantra these days.<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081999 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 15:24:05 +0000 Helena 2081999@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Re: the hooded eyes - it's a trait on one side of my family ... hoods and downturning as the years pass - so maybe I'm just seeing the first inkling but I know where it's going lol! However, I'm trying to change my perspective - that's a piece of my Daddo that I carry right on my face - how can that be a bad thing?? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081996 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 15:11:10 +0000 Christina F. 2081996@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Greetings from my vacation! I didn’t want to let this thread pass without chiming in during my down time. You all are inspiring me!<div><br /></div><div>This post resonates with me. I turned 40 this year and am happier than I’ve ever been. It’s for lots of reasons, personal and professional, but one is that I’ve mostly stopped caring that I’m not skinny. There are still some things I prefer not to highlight, but my general shape isn’t one of those. (I had a similar moment to Janet with my arms this week though - yikes!)</p> <p>That said, I do hope to lose weight but it’s for health reasons... mostly.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>As to being happy, I am mostly because I found ways to change my life when it wasn’t making me happy. The main instance is walking away from academia after getting my PhD. That said, I admit I’ve had an enormous dose of luck to get me through that and some other tough times, too.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>BTW, “hooded eyes” is definitely something only you notice. &nbsp;;)</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081986 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 14:28:54 +0000 Bijou 2081986@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Loving this thread too... so much wisdom here. Shevia's comments made me laugh because when I get a passport I am horrified at the photo and then as I get to the end of the 10 year period, I start liking the picture, only to have it replaced by a new hideous photo...the cycle continues. Not sure if I am mentally able to embrace the current passport photo just yet!</p> <p>I will let go of three things:</p> <p>1. The need to have the 'perfect outfit'. I can make do with what I have and maybe it won't be 100% right, but I can live with that. Participating and enjoying what I am doing is what counts, most people will not even pay attention to what I am wearing.</p> <p>2. Don't second guess myself. Instinctively I know what I like and what suits me. Trust myself and don't feel pressured by trends.</p> <p>3. Emotional shopping. When I feel stressed, sad or bored, taking my dogs for a walk is much better therapy and makes them happy too.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081980 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 13:41:52 +0000 ChristelJ 2081980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>TG, you are lovely inside and out. Your posts are always so kind, thoughtful and insightful. This is a gem of a thread because of all the wisdom and support gathered here. Thanks for this!</p> <p>For myself I would like to give up guilt. I am navigating one of the most stressful years of my life caring for elderly parents, and continue to make it harder by feeling I should have done this or that better. How liberating it would be to accept that I am doing the best I can, and I am a flawed human still learning as I go, and appreciating the precious moments of this life.</p> <p>As others have said, the quest for perfection is futile, and Vildy's comment about happiness being where one stands - so true. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081973 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:54:46 +0000 Laura 2081973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's freeing to let go!! I love this thought; thanks for a great thread and for everyone's ideas. </p> <p>In 2020 I'm letting go of my seemingly endless desire to control everything. Seriously, I can be SUCH a control freak, running around trying to make everything perfect for everyone else. Now that I think about it, it's exhausting! And no one is asking me to do it! I need to let it go! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081971 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:44:43 +0000 anne 2081971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for sharing such thoughtfulness, TG. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081969 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:09:22 +0000 Helena 2081969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cee, amen sister!! Will respond more later, but you guys are good people. Actually welling up at the thought xoxox </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081967 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:03:45 +0000 kerry 2081967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It’s threads like this one that I like to read best. So much insight and you all are an eloquent bunch. Many nuggets here to be had and I appreciate it.</p> <p>A friend and I often do a word of the year or mantra. I think this year I’d like to do a Let It Go list. Thanks TG for helping me reflect from this perspective.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081959 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 11:36:33 +0000 kkards 2081959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>fabulous and&nbsp;engaging read. need more time to think thru it and process all of it. and&nbsp;perhaps put together my own list.<br />TG, thanks for starting this conversation.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081956 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 11:32:58 +0000 Cee 2081956@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You people give me hope re the future of humanity.</p> <p>...Dammit ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081953 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 10:55:42 +0000 Mainelady 2081953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Helena, thank you for this wonderful, thoughtful and honest post. I really appreciate your healthy outlook and authenticity. Reading all the thoughtful responses makes me feel grateful to be included in a group of such amazing forum members. Gems of wisdom from each journey.<br />&nbsp; &nbsp;I wish I had learned to let go of things decades ago. I am closing in on 60 and very slow to let things go. While slow, when I am ready to move forward, I seem to do so without regret.&nbsp;<div>&nbsp; I have already come to accept my squishy and wider mid-section, my spider veins, age spots and scars. They are a part of my life’s journey.<br />&nbsp; I have looked in the mirror, both literally and figuratively. I needed to reflect on my genuine truths and joys. I am usually a positive person and I choose happiness. I focus on gratitude. That said, I recognized that my true happiness involved letting some things go.<br />&nbsp; The #1 change I made was letting go of a toxic relationship with my mother. It was sad and very hard for me to accept that I do not have the power to make our relationship one that I spent my life hoping for. &nbsp;Years of effort and energy wasted that I could have invested in other things. Moving on with grace and kindness, because that is comfortable to me. I will never be cruel, however I will never allow myself to be mistreated ever again.<br />&nbsp; The other changes I have made seem so much smaller in comparison, but all have made me happier:<br />&nbsp; &nbsp;I gave up feeling like I needed to be all things to all people. Gosh that was exhausting. Now I focus on my family and a few close friends. I do my part and allow others to do theirs. I don’t need to play every instrument, set up the music stands, repair instruments and be the conductor. Guess what I learned? The music created is still beautiful, even if some of it is off key.<br />&nbsp; I gave up dressing up. For years I loved dressing up, but now I am really loving a more relaxed style. I think I am more comfortable in my own skin and don’t need the extra trappings I once did.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp; DH and I gave up waiting to make some of our life dreams come true. I think the fact that we are both nearing 60 has caused us to wonder why/what we were waiting for? Permission? Approval from others? Retirement? &nbsp;We are a work hard, play hard family. Now we are going to focus on working smarter, not harder and enjoying more of the best parts of our lives: our children, grandson, new grandbaby on the way and DD’s significant other and his 3 children. Our family is growing and we are abundantly blessed!<br />&nbsp;</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081946 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:39:41 +0000 lyn67 2081946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Hah, had to laugh on "They don't tell you, when you are first pregnant and excited about your baby bump, that it is NEVER EVER GOING TO GO AWAY"---and is better so-(hope we make those children anyway:-))</div><div>Than Shevia said it so well: "every time I notice a new sign of my endurance in this life I do try to remind myself that in 10 years, or even 1 year, it will seem like nothing to me".</div><div>Thank you, both!:-)<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/top-five-things-i-no-longer-care-about/page/2#post-2081882 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 02:54:20 +0000 Jaime 2081882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a wonderful thread! I tend to come to YLF after reading the news for a pick me up, but this was more like a complete tonic. So thank you Helena!&nbsp;<br />Still I have to make a joke: I no longer worry about the small wrinkle nobody else could see 10 years ago and instead worry about the large one that is apparent to all. But every time I notice a new sign of my endurance in this life I do try to remind myself that in 10 years, or even 1 year, it will seem like nothing to me. </p>