https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 20:13:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963709 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 15:52:13 +0000 Helena 1963709@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Robin, we are channeling princess Elsa in this thread ... let it go!! x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963682 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 14:05:32 +0000 RobinF 1963682@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such a great post and I love the responses. Now that my kids are out of school I don't feel the pressure of judgement and fitting in as I did then but it is a tough one for me. And also the fine line between standing out and being invisible. And I love the point about a desire for more clothes, I am so guilty of that. But what should probably be at the top of my list is "let go of negative self image". I would be so much more content if I just let that go. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963659 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 12:51:29 +0000 Helena 1963659@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jussie, yes - let it go! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963658 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 12:50:53 +0000 Helena 1963658@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, those key words will be my mantra! Writing them in BIG LETTERS in the style section of my bullet journal now xoxo</p> <p>Staysfit, Aquamarine, thank you!</p> <p>Shevia, to me that speaks of 'priorities in order' ... you're a role model. xx</p> <p>Jessica, Cindy, wise edit items.</p> <p>Smittie, definitely - no risk, no growth. It's that simple.</p> <p>Heart you all!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963640 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 12:32:00 +0000 Anonymous 1963640@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was very heartfelt and I can identify about the fear of judgment!<br /> I have been slowly conquering that fear. I think it takes time, and a willingness to buy things that speak to you that are outside your comfort zone. Of course this leads to mistakes, but also to a lot of style growth and confidence. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963569 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 05:41:39 +0000 cindysmith 1963569@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I need to let go of<br /> * "it'll do"<br /> * "what if" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963542 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 04:06:54 +0000 Jessikams 1963542@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fun post! I would like to purge a shopping tendency: to go ALL IN on something. I buy a sock boot, love it, decide I will love it forever and never wear anything else, buy another pair in a different color and then.... more often than not, either I don’t like the other color as much or I soon get sick of the style. It’s a waste! I should remember that style is a constant evolution, not some kind of fortress where you have to supply yourself with enough stuff to get you through. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963508 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 02:29:42 +0000 Jaime 1963508@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A pleasure&nbsp; to read. Sometimes it pays to be slightly oblivious to your surroundings, or as I like to think selectively focused.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963501 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 01:58:47 +0000 Aquamarine 1963501@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread!! I’ve bookmarked it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963498 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 01:51:43 +0000 Staysfit 1963498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well said! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963497 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 01:50:32 +0000 Angie 1963497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Helena,</b> you are <i>delightful.</i>&nbsp;And crack me up :)</p> <p>THANK YOU for doing some soul searching and sharing it. <i>You are fab.</i>&nbsp;</p> <p>I have three words for you: </p> <ul> <li>Authenticity</li> <li>Signature Style</li> </ul> <p><i>Be less affected by others! </i>Create an authentic style, and the rest will follow with ease. Your signature is PERSONAL. Milk it - ESPECIALLY IN 2018 where women are more empowered than ever. (As for the "structure" - listen to those feelings, but let them boss you around).&nbsp; </p> <p><b>Elizabeth</b>, no one on YLF will pressure you to purge your skinnies. It's AUTHENTIC for you. That's what it's all about.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things/page/2#post-1963482 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:58:14 +0000 Helena 1963482@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Peri, that's my worst one too ... glad it was helpful to you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963481 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:57:25 +0000 jussie 1963481@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such a great thread- thanks! I have envy in relation to other aspects of life quite often.... I’ve just gotta let it go....... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963478 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:55:41 +0000 Peri 1963478@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love this...especially #1 speaks to me. Thanks for posting!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963474 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:29:27 +0000 Helena 1963474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Canada, what a wonderful perspective ... thank you.<br />Mainelady, may we all!! xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963473 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:27:53 +0000 Mainelady 1963473@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Be you and let your light shine, TG. Your words, your heart, your wisdom may spread your light to others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963471 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:24:00 +0000 Canada 1963471@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, I'm with you on your statement. And Torontogirl, we've all had those moments. And regrets. And knee jerk reactions. No one looks at me any more..I just turned 65 and I've been " invisible" for decades. But that's ok because I'm dressing for ME. And the joy of it. And as Suz commented, for the freedom of it all at this stage of my life. I feel ever so grateful simply to be dressing my body and all it's original parts. A DUI driver hit me head on last spring and after many months of recovery, I'm still here. Wearing my skinny jeans (NEVER giving them up!). </p> <p>Happiness factors can be found every day in every little thing. Yes, even in a new scarf or the feel of a cashmere sweater. It's all good. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963465 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 23:42:06 +0000 Helena 1963465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>kkards, I'm so glad :)</p> <p>Mainelady, love every word you wrote. You and your happiness factors have been a huge positive influence on me!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963459 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 23:18:06 +0000 Mainelady 1963459@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow. There is a lot to love and a lot of love in your post, TG and in all the following responses. I am so impressed. First of all, cheers to you TG, for your thoughtful list of edits. Inspirational and the potential to be life changing from your closet and through every facet of life. You my dear, are honest, authentic and profound.<br /> I so wish I had the benefit of your wisdom at a much younger age. Like Style Fan and Suz have mentioned, with age comes more confidence in who we are when we really look in the mirror and see our humanity. Minus the colors, trends, styles, make up and external attributes, who we are at our core, in the center of our hearts, is what matters.<br /> I am a bit late to the life party of celebrating myself. The journey and the arrival to warm self acceptance is different for everyone. My own journey had some rough roads, easy stretches, hazards and obstacles and critical bystanders, but I am happy to say I have arrived.<br /> I have come to realize that I do care about the opinions of others, but no longer are their opinions more important than my own. I appreciate them for providing me with a different perspective and alternatives to consider. I am open to possibilities, but no longer feel compelled to make changes to suit others. My energy is best spent on being my best self, kind to others and leading a happy and healthy life.<br /> I live in the land of plenty....plenty of people who have a lot of advantages and material possessions: trust funds, luxury homes, cars, clothing, etc......plenty who are working hard at more than one job, to provide for their families and to maintain a home here....plenty who are somewhere in between living paycheck to paycheck and financial comfort........plenty who are judgemental and plenty who are not......plenty who are like the members of this forum: positive, supportive, generous, thoughtful and united in cheering on others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963456 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 23:05:31 +0000 kkards 1963456@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>TG..this was fab and exactly what I needed to read.<br /> I’m going to think on this and come back to it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963451 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 22:42:43 +0000 Helena 1963451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The Cat, so glad you are in a happy and confident place with your wardrobe, and I'm sure that spills out to all areas of your life as well. Of course the last people we should be trying to please are the ones that would want us to be invisible! You're right though, there's nothing as attractive as authenticity.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963450 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 22:32:55 +0000 The Cat 1963450@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Food for thought, torontogirl. I think many others have had similar thoughts as you regarding fear of judgment and beliefs about who they are supposed to be. And I hope your wise thoughts here will inspire others to purge such things, like you do.</p> <p>I am not able to identify similar elements I need to purge now, as I feel confident in my style and generally feel loved, accepted and respected by those around me. However, I well remember that I had to free myself from that kind of thoughts when I was in my teens and twenties. I also remember a sentence which I read when I was quite young and which I have found helpful: "Be yourself. Noone is better qualified." </p> <p>I was sometimes afraid of being "myself," afraid of not being accepted, or even worse, of being disliked, if I made choices that were different from others'. But to my surprise, when I chose to do or wear things I really liked, things that felt like "me", though very few (if any at all) others that I knew would do the same as me, then I often got plenty of positive comments. Of course, there may be people who would prefer that you were more or less invisible, but my experience is that when you try to be yourself, people will often like you for it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963409 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 21:00:49 +0000 Suz 1963409@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Style Fan</b> speaks truth. If there's one benefit of aging, it's that we (often) become kinder to ourselves and one another.&nbsp;</p> <p>When we're really dressing authentically, a lot of the self-doubt vanishes. But it can take time, failed experiments, and money spent in order to figure out what really <b>is</b> authentic for us as individuals. Strange how that works... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963397 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 20:30:36 +0000 Style Fan 1963397@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love this post TG.&nbsp; I don't judge myself as harshly as I did in the past but the negative thoughts still creep in. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963392 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 20:24:29 +0000 Gigi 1963392@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great post. I can identify with a lot of the comments. I too can feel very self-conscious if I'm wearing a trend that really feels like me but no one else is wearing it, or worse, it is a poison eye for many people. I try to push ahead anyway, but it can be hard at times.</p> <p>I live in an area where most people are dressed down--so maybe the opposite of your area. With me, the bigger issue is feeling out of place because I am overdressed. But I have accepted that that is how I am, and people who see me frequently understand that as well. They actually enjoy seeing my outfits. :)</p> <p>I primarily use my closet as a means to feel more like myself, so it can be very hard when I start questioning my own sartorial choices.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963385 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 20:11:06 +0000 Sal 1963385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Brilliant post!!&nbsp; Love it TG and the words of wisdom that follow.&nbsp; Be your best authentic self... To your own self be true ....etc...</p> <p>I do have these feelings but more with other aspects of life than my closet - when things are crazy and chaotic that is the most in control part of my life (like now - I use it as a refuge).&nbsp;</p> <p>I would love to edit out the part of me that compares myself to others - more in career, or house tidiness, or exercise regime, or social life.&nbsp; I have worked on this and am better than I used to be but it nags it's futile head from time to time.</p> <p>I do agree that we need to look at our own preferences, our own bodies, climates, sense of style and life before copying others.&nbsp; It is easier maybe from here as the trends can be quite different - some never really arrive (cropped flares for example), some come later or not strongly at all ( bombers) and some come earlier (wide legged pants and midis).</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963371 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:46:04 +0000 Like the Season 1963371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is wonderful, torontogirl. Thanks for your honesty.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm currently trying to let go of the <b></b>desire for more. </p> <p>It's <i>so easy</i>&nbsp;for me to justify purchases -- it's on sale, it fills a "wardrobe hole," it's sustainably made, it's so me, it's on trend, it's an "investment piece," it's a replacement, it's an upgrade ... and on and on.</p> <p>For a while, I'm going to edit that way of thinking and instead try cultivating contentment with what I have. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963359 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:31:02 +0000 Helena 1963359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, THIS IS EVERYTHING:&nbsp;</p> <p>"to simply be who we are without apology or equivocation"</p> <p>You are, quite simply, brilliant. xoxo</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963354 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:27:37 +0000 gryffin 1963354@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>TG - I so relate to this and your comments are absolutely brilliant!&nbsp; I think the main message, which is the one I embrace, is to simply be who we are without apology or equivocation.&nbsp; During my first years on YLF, when leggings were not getting any love, I actually considered purging them from my wardrobe.&nbsp; Now mind you I love leggings!&nbsp; On the brink of that decision, I saw a magazine article on Vera Wang, rocking her signature leggings!&nbsp; Well if they are good enough for Vera....&nbsp; That was the moment of mental push back.&nbsp; It was the never again moment.&nbsp; The moment when I embraced that it was better to be an authentic "me" than to follow anyone else stylewise, no matter how esteemed or admired.&nbsp; So now I go my own way.&nbsp; I love to look, I love to know what's trending, I admire many looks and trends I would not wear on others, but I wear what I like and what makes me feel good.&nbsp; Clipped nails and no polish, leggings, skirted leggings, black, more black, charcoal, gray, denim, menswear, boots/booties, midrise.&nbsp; Lots more, in or out, I choose what is authentic to my style.&nbsp; It's so freeing!&nbsp; I hope you can toss the fear of comparision, keeping up with the moms, or trying to be anyone or look any way but what makes you comfortable because you are fantastic just as you are!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/three-things-im-editing-from-my-closet-spoiler-alert-none-of-them-are-actual-things#post-1963349 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:20:54 +0000 Helena 1963349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, isn't it amazing how we can make ourselves feel badly about what we have and what we haven't, at the exact same time?<br />Jules, team skinnies!<br />Jenni, thanks - I'll look for that book! </p>