https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:41:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008277 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 21:58:42 +0000 Style Fan 2008277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for sharing your experience, Robin.&nbsp; I am sorry that you did not enjoy your dress.&nbsp; Thankfully you have come to see yourself differently.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008254 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 21:30:37 +0000 Sal 2008254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for sharing - I especially love what Sterling wrote.&nbsp; I am pleased you had the evening of feeling sensational in your friend's dress and sorry that your own dress became "tainted''......I have had a similar but different thing happen.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008245 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 21:12:27 +0000 LaPed 2008245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Powerful story, Robin. I think it's almost impossible for our self-image not to be shaped to some degree by the people and culture around us (see Jenava's post on "cucumbers in pickle juice"!). It takes a conscious effort to let all that conditioning go. How is it that just relaxing, having fun with fashion, and being oneself can take *so* much work? Such a shame you never got to enjoy the dress for the fun piece it was, and I hope you have lots of fun-to-wear pieces now to make up for it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008223 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 20:02:25 +0000 Anonymous 2008223@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's awful :(<br /> It's so important to let children (including young adult children) express themselves and gain confidence with who they are and who they are becoming. As long as its not indecent or offensive or harmful, of course. I agree that parents project their own insecurities -not just with clothes, but career choices, etc. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008220 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 19:53:29 +0000 Roxanna 2008220@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is so powerful. As Angie said, so many layers here and so much to unpack. I'll just say that i had a crushed velvet dress in my teens and while I don't miss the dress itself, I miss the carefree feeling I had dressing in it then...style really is so much more about how you feel that what you wear.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you so much for sharing... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008215 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 19:45:38 +0000 Janet 2008215@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ooh, this is so meaningful -- thank you for sharing.&nbsp;</p> <p>My own mother was very hard on herself, and critical of, well, everyone, even though she was not an unkind person and didn't mean to be hurtful. But she would comment every time she noticed I gained a few pounds (I snapped at her once when she did it in front of the man who would later become my husband, and she cooled it after that). I suspect that a lot of my issues with my "flaws" come from her own issues.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008213 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 19:43:09 +0000 Cardiff girl 2008213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The influence mothers have on daughters ,well there’s at least a book in that.All I will say is that I ve learnt from experience and my daughter is not subjected to my own insecurities about my figure through negative comments on her own.l tell her everyday how gorgeous she is and I mean it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008212 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 19:42:50 +0000 rachylou 2008212@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh yeah. Exactly what Angie said. </p> <p>My mum... she has STRONG opinions. She very much cares about aesthetics but is aggressively anti-trend and pro natural. And of course I love a good trend and bizarre colour. Her mom also bought HER everything so she ‘could grow into it’ and permed her hair and put giant cartoon bows on top of her head.</p> <p>So I never got anything ‘in’, often got things that were too baggy, and was told ‘to be grateful that I was allowed some things that fit.’</p> <p>And she won’t accept that this is the reason that I’m not president of the nation now. And I’m not joking, because let’s be honest: you have to start appealing to the masses straight off the bat. Yes you do (!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008162 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 18:45:43 +0000 Christina F. 2008162@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Thank you for sharing this story. So beautiful and thought provoking. I'm sorry that you never felt good about the dress. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>My experience with my mom when I was younger was the opposite. I hated my body and dressed to hide it - it helped that it was the grunge era, when I came of age! My mom BEGGED me to wear tighter clothes and said my body was cute. I weigh more now, but am more comfortable with my body - though I still am not a big fan of body con or tight clothes, which is just a personal preference. It's amazing how these interactions shape us later on, though, for good or ill.<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008160 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 18:41:55 +0000 Anonymous 2008160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Powerful post. &nbsp;Thank you for sharing. &nbsp;</p> <p>I am glad you feel comfortable in your body and confident about shaping your own style. &nbsp;If you think about all the obstacles that have been placed in your path ... either intentionally or unintentionally ..... that is an <i><u>amazing accomplishment</u></i>. &nbsp;</p> <p>As <b>Angie</b> said, style IS an energy, ease, and confidence. &nbsp;I believe that with all my heart. &nbsp;That means you have found your energy, ease, and confidence. &nbsp;I commend you and your strength. </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008150 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 18:28:56 +0000 Angie 2008150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, <b>Robin.</b> I ADORE YOU, and could listen to you unpack and muse about life all day. You have the best attitude, and I always feel enriched and inspired when I hear your viewpoints. Thank you for sharing them.</p> <p>This story has lots of interesting layers. I can imagine you unpacking them with strength, a grin, and peace in your heart.</p> <p>Flattering proportions are as subjective as sartorial preferences - ESPECIALLY today - where almost anything goes and gender fluidity is important. What is flattering to one - is not to another.&nbsp;</p> <p>There are no fashion rules, just guidelines to follow if you're stuck, and like the visual effect. Those guidelines tend to favour creating a long and streamlined silhouette with a long legline - which is a traditional figure flattering benchmark more than anything else. It's extremely limiting and stifling to have only one way of creating great outfit proportions. I'm VERY glad that fashion and style have changed.&nbsp;</p> <p>That's why it all boils down to your PERSONAL Figure Flattering Priorities. You can buck the benchmark however you want to - and look KILLER. You choose.</p> <p>Style is not a body type, budget, age or a size. Style is an&nbsp;energy, ease and confidence that is expressed through clothing, footwear and accessories.</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/thoughts-on-curves-and-extra-bits-inspired-by-this-mornings-blog-post#post-2008137 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 18:04:09 +0000 Robin 2008137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So, as I was commenting on Angie's blog post this morning, I remembered the story of the black crushed velvet dress. </p> <p>It was my second year of university and I was going to some sort of event, a coffee house, or book reading, or something. The women I was going with decided that we should all dress up. I had nothing fun in my closet - just sweatshirts, tees, jeans, and a very sensible long skirt and jacket combo.</p> <p>So I borrowed something from one of my friends, a black crushed velvet dress with spaghetti straps and a feather boa. </p> <p>We all got together the night of the event and had a bit of a dressing party. A lot of the women had really fun, retro-inspired dresses and accessories. It was the first time I'd really seen that sort of playfulness in clothes.</p> <p> I wore the dress without a bra (today I would probably do it with a lacy black bra, but hey, I was 20 and rebellious) and flung the boa artlessly around my neck and shoulders. I think I wore black sandals that had some sort of sparkly adornment.</p> <p>The dress was stretchy crushed velvet, cut straight and narrow, and ended at my kneecaps. I loved the way it clung to me, the way I could just move with it.</p> <p>So, the next time I went home I told my mother I wanted to go shopping for exactly this kind of dress. </p> <p>And, oh dear Universe, that was *not* a good shopping trip. We got into the fitting room and I tried on the dress. I can only imagine the look on my mother's face, and I'm quite sure she hated it on me.</p> <p>It's mostly irrelevant since I think she would have hated the dress on me no matter what, but I'd gained a fair bit of weight in the previous year, more than I was actually comfortable with and way more than my mother was comfortable with.</p> <p>Back to the fitting room. My mother started gently explaining to me that my figure would look much better in an outfit like a top and a pair of palazzo (spelling?) pants. I didn't want palazzo pants. I wanted to have a playful dress in my wardrobe the way my peers did. I wanted to use clothes to express myself. </p> <p>There's a lot I could unpack here about the extra power my mother had to influence my clothing decisions - because I'm blind and (especially pre-Internet days) rely on other people to tell me what clothes are available in a store, what sorts of outfits the world is wearing, and so on. In short, to give me the information I would have if I could see.</p> <p>But, there's just as much to unpack about what's considered figure-flattering, the way we judge some parts as being unacceptably bumpy and other parts as being attractively curvy, and the ways we value fashion "rules" over the beauty that can come from feeling confident and comfortable in an outfit. </p> <p>I'm fairly sure that style of dress wasn't the most flattering thing I could have worn, but I'm also pretty sure palazzo pants wouldn't be the most flattering on me either. It's just that they would hide the bumpy bits under fabric and hiding is always considered safer than showing off.</p> <p>Did I go home with the dress? Yes, after more than a few tears and stage-whispered arguments.</p> <p>Did I ever wear it? To a Halloween party, for want of any other costume.</p> <p>Did I ever feel good about the dress? Not at all. It went in a donation bag a few years later.</p> <p>It also took a lot more years before I felt comfortable in my body or confident about shaping my own style. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p> </p>