https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 04:20:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1216147 Mon, 07 Apr 2014 12:14:09 +0000 Lyn D. 1216147@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I am good at pretending that everything is O.K. when it actually isn't.<br />Sometimes I wish that I spoke-out more, especially when others are being negative or talking disrespectfully about others.<br />This was a thought-provoking thread, thanks Adelfa. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1215685 Sun, 06 Apr 2014 19:04:01 +0000 Neel 1215685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A fun read :)</p> <p>And I can resonate with many posters! I act like I am strong when truly I am not. I would cry in the toilet for hours! And come out smiling as if nothing happened and my life is all sunshine! ;)</p> <p>Then I also can fake a smile and talk to people I wish fell from a window (bwahahaha ... IK you are too funny!)! But that's just manners I guess </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1215205 Sun, 06 Apr 2014 00:17:41 +0000 Anonymous 1215205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I do believe MaryK and her " no filter". I think she means no filter over the small stuff No one in the civilized world is able to survive without a "filter", so I don't think she means it as an absolute statement. I know what she means and I love her for it.<br /> As far as me, well, I am not sure if I purposedly say something about me that is not true. I think that sometimes I say something I "wish" was true, almost as a wish, so one day it becomes part of me. It is like a mantra. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1212097 Wed, 02 Apr 2014 11:41:01 +0000 kerry 1212097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not sure what I say about myself to others but I know what I project because I've had colleagues describe me this way. At school, people think I'm pretty laid back and organized. In fact, I'm not laid back at all! Nor am I very organized. I'm an organized thinker but don't have the discipline to be tangibly organized. Most of my intensity happens in my head not in my actions. As a teacher, I also "pretend" a lot that I'm an extrovert when I am actually quite introverted. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211935 Wed, 02 Apr 2014 04:02:55 +0000 MsLuna 1211935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Adelfa, interesting topic!</p> <p>What I often think to myself is that I'm not articulate/well-spoken and that I have an annoying, shrill voice. However, most people say otherwise!!!! When I first facilitated workshops in class, my professor made a comment on how she can listen to me all day and that I present engaging workshops! What people don't know is that although I like public speaking, I am SHAKING inside!!!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211353 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 14:25:01 +0000 Janet 1211353@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Diane, your first part sounds like me (I apparently am capable of looking "cool calm and collected" even while I'm freaking out inside), but that last part sounds like my mom! She was so demure and quiet, but around those she knew best, she could let her wicked sense of humor fly! </p> <p>Fun thread. So interesting! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211293 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:26:33 +0000 Anonymous 1211293@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread! I often give the impression that I'm cool calm and collected, when I'm actually 'miss stressy knickers' and sometimes&nbsp; $h****ng bricks! Also people think I'm quite quiet and genteel but I have&nbsp;a (sometimes filthy)&nbsp;sense of humour! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211267 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 11:33:10 +0000 froggiebecky 1211267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I say I have a thick skin when I don't--I'm really sensitive, especially when I care about the opinion of the other person.&nbsp;</p> <p>My mom had an excellent B.S. detector, and she could tell someone where to stick it with a smile on her face and make 'em think it was her idea. My dad…it's easy to pull the wool over his eyes, but once he figures it out, he has zero tact.&nbsp;<br />I got the worst of both worlds: I have an excellent B.S. detector, and zero tact. I'm working on being a little more…reserved about it. :)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211256 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 11:01:26 +0000 Ledonna N. 1211256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Strong when I'm a big old bowl of mush </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211219 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 08:35:31 +0000 anne 1211219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting thread. Being honest is pretty important to me, so I don't think I do do this (with the caveats that Adelfa mentions being kept in mind) except saying I'm "fine" when sometimes I am not really. But that is just a social convention right!? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1211153 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 04:21:30 +0000 Deborah 1211153@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is so interesting.&nbsp; I like to say that I am pretty laid back and easy going but I know that I can be very intense and a control freak.&nbsp; Maybe I am laid back and easy going <b>when</b> Im in control???&nbsp; I need to think about this a lot more and like Janet, maybe I should ask my DH... tho Im not sure I will want to hear his response :)&nbsp; It is interesting because we are so multifaceted.&nbsp;People tell me I am very gifted at diplomacy yet at the same time I can be incredibly direct,&nbsp;call a spade a spade and tell you like it is (nicely of course). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be/page/2#post-1210901 Tue, 01 Apr 2014 00:42:26 +0000 celia 1210901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was such a fun thread to read.<br />I don't know what I might say about myself that I know it is not true, or at least pinpoint one of those things.<br />I'm not a great sharer of my personal life and my feelings, so I don't make statements of what I am or not.(I think)<br />I was told recently that I am a very difficult person to 'read'. Personally I didn't think so. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210402 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 16:10:45 +0000 rachylou 1210402@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I very much enjoy saying, "I'm normal" and "I'm taller than you" to folks like my boyfriend and brother. It's hilarious. They get so indignant. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210312 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 14:32:51 +0000 Mochi 1210312@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I say that I'm introverted and detached, when it's a lot more complicated and situational&nbsp;than that.&nbsp;</p> <p>I tend to downplay my strengths.&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210290 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 14:08:01 +0000 Janet 1210290@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha, Viva! I'm laughing at the "lowering the bar" thing. </p> <p>I think I do that too. Hence my "I'm not athletic" insistence. That way people won't be so judgmental when they hear it takes me 2.5 hours to finish a half marathon, and instead think, "Hey, she can run 13 miles!" I do tend to be quicker to say, "I'm not very good at XXX" rather than brag, "I'm so awesome at YYY!" I'd hate for someone to see me doing YYY and think, "Meh, she's not so great at that after all." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210265 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 13:35:08 +0000 viva 1210265@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you all know I am a focus group moderator, and my clients frequently praise me for being so even-tempered, calm, and unflappable. I think the key is what an early mentor said to me: focus group moderators are great at intimacy because each relationship lasts only two hours and they never have to see those people ever again.</p> <p>The truth is, I am really not even-tempered. Anyone who really, really knows me would think my clients are crazy. I am the stubborn one at dinner pressing my point and trying to persuade everyone else, and then feeling terrible about it afterward. Which is why I rarely accept dinner invitations.</p> <p>Of course, maybe I am just saying this to lower the bar, so that people will be surprised at how gracious I am at the Boston meetup this weekend.&nbsp; ;)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210218 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 12:08:25 +0000 ironkurtin 1210218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My daughter is extremely social and loving, and I always say I don't know where she gets it because I hate people. Which gets a laugh, but it's true. I really don't like hanging out with people for more than a few hours. The folks who pass my few-hours test are few and far between. Whereas my kid will hang out for a day with someone I'd be praying would fall out a window. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210166 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 08:42:20 +0000 Vildy 1210166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread caused me to remember. I used to do a lot of public speaking at hearings, etc, some televised on a public access channel, and have run for office locally. I find it easiest to talk to an audience or one person vs to speak up in a small group. Anyway, in a large seated group, we were given an icebreaker exercise (how I hate those ) to pair up with the person next to us, ask them some interview questions and then, in turn, get up and introduce that person to the group using the new information you now have about them. </p> <p>One of my answers was that I was shy and the gentleman interviewing me cracked up and literally slapped his knee. When it came time to introduce me, he gave a short intro and ended with the statement that "she says she's shy!"<br />Literally the entire large group exploded in a roar of laughter and some people practically fell out of their seats, gasping with laughter. Lucky that we didn't have coffee or everyone's neighbor would have been sprayed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210163 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 08:35:03 +0000 rae 1210163@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is way too cool a thread to have found at 1:30am. Must ponder. Right now, I'm not sure I make declarations about myself on any regular basis, lol.&nbsp;</p> <p>On my dating profile in college, I said I was "vulgar, crude, irreverent, eccentric, obnoxious, pretentious, and cheap." Everyone kept on telling me what a funny profile I had, but I was being dead serious at the time... I guess that if I've crawled out of my shell enough to talk, then I want to be accurate. o_0 </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210133 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 06:37:39 +0000 ManidipaM 1210133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I tend to say I am super-fussy... When in truth I am actually rather laidback. The reason I do this is because it is difficult to say 'but I like my personal space, and that extends to stuff and not just physical self, to be fairly inviolate', which most people read as unfriendly or standoffish... Which brings us to...</p> <p>I say I am a wallflower (have many times in many posts), but the truth is that I am simply an introvert... I am NOT shy, and I love company, and I can jabber nineteen to the dozen (can you tell?!) but I (a) lack confidence and feel judged sometimes even if I am not and (b) need to have a lot of space and time to myself to recharge from my social bouts (the definition of introversion, as opposed to shyness). But as you can see, I haven't found a way to tell the truth that isn't long-winded or garbled! </p> <p>I say I don't care about other people's opinions of me... When in truth I am socially vulnerable. My favourite song growing up used to be 'I am a rock, I am an island'. Yes, I have people pleaser issues.</p> <p>I also say I am both objective and socially obtuse... When in fact I am very empathetic and pick up vibes all the time (to the point it is a liability and I feel overwhelmed, cue introversion), and tend to couch my response to people in the way that will make them feel most heard/understood etc, and the degree to which I do this depends on a very subjective yardstick of how much the person matters to me personally! If they don't matter, I will often lie outright to avoid confrontations ... Another of my bugbears, while I claim to be no respecter of persons! (Again, hiding vulnerability)</p> <p>Last but not least, I claim to non-judgemental... When I am in fact empathetic and understanding but often privately very judgey about things like environmental consciousness, basic etiquette, whether people keep their promises, gratuitous rudeness, lack of professionalism, unapologetic consumerism, use of status symbols, prejudicial behaviour or talk with regard to gender or orientations or ethnicity or communalism... Um. Ok. I will now shut up. </p> <p>Have I scared everyone? Offended anyone? ::sheepish:: </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210096 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 05:06:34 +0000 Laurie 1210096@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sometimes, I like to think, or even imply that because I'm the analytical type, I need time to think something over.&nbsp; Lots of times, it's just that I'm being lazy and avoiding something or another.&nbsp; Let's say the question is "what color should the room be painted?"&nbsp; And because I really am not in the mindset to paint the room, I'll just say.. well, I'm the type of person that needs to consider that carefully before I decide.&nbsp; It's actually just laziness </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210072 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:44:42 +0000 deb 1210072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do not think I have ever admitted this to anyone but I can play the dumb blond very well. Do we call this 'justified manipulation'? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210056 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:28:44 +0000 Janet 1210056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I asked my husband and he said that I don't make many claims about myself, which I think is interesting in itself. I think of myself as fairly reserved, which would support what he said, but then I sometimes feel like I overshare, which would seem to contradict that. </p> <p>The only thing he really came up with is that I insist I am not athletic, and he has always insisted otherwise, even before I started running. Even though I am capable of doing things like riding a bike 40 miles or running 10 miles or swimming a mile, I still don't see myself as an athlete. I still see myself as one of the kids always picked near last for kickball teams in grade school. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210053 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:27:51 +0000 adorkable 1210053@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I dunno, Mary, I'm pretty damn dorky. But I like being dorky.</p> <p>I'm in the "claim to be lazy but am not" club for sure.</p> <p>And I just had one now. Thanks again, LACeleste! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210039 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:17:23 +0000 MsMary 1210039@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, lyn*!&nbsp; I do&nbsp; that one, too!&nbsp; LOL</p> <p>And yes!&nbsp; LACeleste and her lovely little daughter made up these lovely little boxes of chocolates for each of us.&nbsp; YUM and also HOW SWEET!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210028 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:07:44 +0000 lyn* 1210028@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh dear, I tell people I am "lazy" all the time - but realize that people around me are even "lazier"!!! I guess I just have different standards?</p> <p>Also ... CHOCOLATE? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210015 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 03:57:06 +0000 MsMary 1210015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Adorkable, I think you claim to be, well, adorkable, when in fact you are lovely and sophisticated.&nbsp; If I may be so bold.&nbsp; (See "no filter," above.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210009 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 03:53:29 +0000 adorkable 1210009@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I loved this conversation. I'm not sure how much I can add, though...</p> <p>Like Anna, I think I'm generally honest to a fault. I'd like to be tactful, but I'm really not ... and I don't claim to be! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1210002 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 03:47:48 +0000 annagybe 1210002@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't know if I do pretend well. Even my own father said I'm honest to a fault. I have tried to improve on biting my tongue though, don't always succeed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/things-we-pretend-to-be#post-1209981 Mon, 31 Mar 2014 03:30:41 +0000 MsMary 1209981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Go over and post on one of my threads and I'll give you one!&nbsp; </p>