YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The shame of returns...

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The shame of returns... https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 15 Apr 2026 22:09:14 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php MsMary on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556929 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:17:02 +0000 MsMary 556929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't have issues about being judged by the sales staff. But I do hate returning things because of the hassle factor. I have a very full schedule during the week and then carving out return time on the weekend is kind of a drag. In fact, today I have "Target returns, F21 returns, and Sears (Lands End) returns" on my to-do list, and it's bumming me out, man. Lisa on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556883 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:25:55 +0000 Lisa 556883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Returns used to bother me, because I felt like I was being judged when I returned. But then I started to get really picky about the items I added to my wardrobe, the colors, the fit, do they mix well with others, and now I am numb to returning. If I have to return I will because that money is better spent on something that I will truly like and use. Aziraphale on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556839 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 16:21:30 +0000 Aziraphale 556839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Just chiming in to add my voice to the ranks of those who hate hate hate returning things (clothes or anything else) for any reason. I don't feel bad if I have to return something; I just see it as a major inconvenience and time-waster. I realize this makes me sound like I'm not totally mentally well-adjusted...heh But seriously: I try very hard not to have to return items because it annoys me so much to have to return them. BUT, the odd time I do, I don't feel bad about it. We all make mistakes. (I personally make rather a lot of them!). So don't worry about it, my dear! It says nothing about your ability to choose clothes that work for you. Often you have to get an item home and try it on with other things before you can make a proper assessment of whether or not it works for your bod and your wardrobe. Anonymous on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556794 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:46:03 +0000 Anonymous 556794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't feel bad about returning. I know i'm not "wardrobing" (wearing the items with the intent to return them later) so there is no guilt. I also understand when they ask "Is there anything wrong with it?" that they just want to know if they can re-stock it right away or not, so I don't feel like I need to make up any excueses. I'll just say, "No, it's perfectly fine, it's just not a good fit in my wardrobe." Transcona Shannon on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556788 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:33:12 +0000 Transcona Shannon 556788@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've actually started feeling positive about making returns - it means I'm not willing to settle for something that doesn't fit right or doesn't work for me, whatever the reason. I'd rather do than then end up with a closet orphan. Kristen on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556784 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:27:56 +0000 Kristen 556784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I never, ever feel guilty about returning anything. I am a plus size and most stores only carry my size online. They leave me no choice but to buy things I am not sure will work, so I don't feel guilty when it doesn't. I worked in retail for a few years too, and my experience matches Christine's. Plus, once I saw how many people returned clothes, I got over any hangups I had about it. When the store was closing near the end, there was a tsunami of returns that people had been hanging onto in their closets and they had to make a decision before we stopped accepting them. There were days when we were just glad we had made more in sales than we had in returns, LOL! Polly (thunalata) on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns/page/2#post-556777 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:20:47 +0000 Polly (thunalata) 556777@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love returning things. It makes me feel good that I am not keeping something I am uncertain about. I no longer worry about the SA's question about why I'm returning it since I realised that basically they need to know if there's something wrong with it so that they don't put it straight back on the shelves. I'm very happy to say that I changed my mind. It doesn't matter to them, they just need to process the return in the right way. velvetychocolate on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556473 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 03:12:38 +0000 velvetychocolate 556473@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a problem with this...but its not what you think. I have a ton of stuff I've bought that I didn't bother to return. This isn't good. There are a lot of things in my closet that still have the tags on, unworn. I must stick to "Team Store" from here on out, and I need to be a bit more careful of just buying stuff because I feel like I 'need' something. My wardrobe is still a bit of a disaster, part and parcel of losing a bunch of weight and still not quite finished the process yet - so I end up buying something on an 'as needed' basis. For instance, I'll need a pair of dress pants or a dress for an event and end up snapping something up in a big hurry because I need it the next day or the day after that. I don't like returning things and I feel guilty about it. Because of this, I have a bunch of stuff in my closet that I've never actually worn, still hanging there, new. Not feeling very good about this. lyn* on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556350 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 23:39:50 +0000 lyn* 556350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I always end up stuck behind the lady who is whining that her special occasion dress was only worn once so why can't she return it. I feel bad for the SA. Mander on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556348 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 23:34:28 +0000 Mander 556348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It would never even occur to me to feel ashamed about a genuine return. Obviously I wouldn't do the thing where you wear it for a special occasion and then try to bring it back (one reason why a lot of formal wear has a tag that says you can't return it without the tag), but there are many legitimate reasons to bring something back. Deciding that it doesn't really work with your wardrobe is one of them. taylor on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556337 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 23:05:56 +0000 taylor 556337@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I will add after working at Ann Taylor for 5 yrs. The serial ~buy the dress, wear to the wedding , return the dress~ customer can be incredibly annoying, and there is plenty of that going around , sale associates see this too:) lyn* on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556330 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 22:57:50 +0000 lyn* 556330@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ One of my friend told me (as a badge of honour) that she never returned 1 thing. EVER. Either she must be loaded or has a HUGE closet of yucky things, because she dresses nicely D'Ellen on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556326 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 22:55:31 +0000 D'Ellen 556326@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Returning is so much better than regretting. Mrs Moo on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556110 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 16:54:12 +0000 Mrs Moo 556110@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I worked in clothes retail when I was younger and was usually the person manning the returns desk! I can tell you from experience that I never minded those individuals genuinely returning items that didn't fit/didn't look right or they changed their mind about. What I did mind, *a lot* were the cheeky so and so's that would buy a dress, outfit or shoes, wear it for a night out and bring it back later in the week stinking of perfume and quite clearly worn and try to pass it off as "It didn't fit". It might surprise you to find out this happened a lot! So unless you're doing this - and I highly doubt you are - I think you have no worries and please don't feel guilty! :0) Amy on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556100 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 16:40:23 +0000 Amy 556100@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I return things a lot, often after I've tried them on in the store. Sometimes, you just need to put them on at home, pair them with things you already own and move about them a bit to get a real sense of whether or not they will work for you. I used to feel embarrassed about this, but now I just try to keep in mind that it's part of a process that works for me and helps me make informed rather than impulsive decisions. My previous wardrobe, built more out of impulse, did not make me happy. The more thoughtful one I'm creating now does make me happy. Jewell on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556096 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 16:32:39 +0000 Jewell 556096@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I never feel guilty about returning items that don't fit well, aren't a good match for my style, have disappointing quality, or fit into the "like but don't love" category. Occasionally I've returned something because I found it at a better price from the same retailer or a different one. I sometimes feel a small twinge of guilt when I do this. I hate having to return anything that I've removed tags from. I feel like the sales people are thinking, "She wore it, and now she wants to give it back." When I worked in retail, women would come in with things they'd worn for months wanting to return them. I thought that was so tacky and gave the impression that they were desperate for money to spend. I used to be an impulsive shopper, and that made me a habitual returner. I've gotten so much better since joining YLF : ) Isabel on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556002 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 14:13:21 +0000 Isabel 556002@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ YES !!! I feel that way too when it is more than a couple of things. In fact, I have avoided returning to the store on a couple of occasions and returned by mail, though it costs more. I have 4 things that I am going to return to Macy's today which I have been avoiding. They always ask why, and I feel as if I am insulting them when I say, " I just didn't like them....." citygirldc on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-556001 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 14:12:46 +0000 citygirldc 556001@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't have a problem with returning items at all especially if I find something better than before, or if the item doesn't look like it did when trying on at the store. missvee on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555982 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 13:42:59 +0000 missvee 555982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have no problem returning things because I often buy without trying on first. I just tell the SA that the garments don't fit or don't suit me. One thing though, I return them within a couple of days of purchasing so that they can get back in the store's inventory as soon as possible. Janet on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555969 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 12:50:07 +0000 Janet 555969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The only time I feel bad about a return is when I wait a long time to make it...and the window closes, so I'm stuck with an item I don't love. I have a few things to put on eBay because of this. One more reason I love stores like Nordstrom who have generous return policies! anchie on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555956 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 12:25:21 +0000 anchie 555956@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't have problem to return things that I ordered on line. It is similar like taking things to a dressing room. You are not obliged to buy everything that you tried on. But I hate returning things in person. Last time I did it SA asked me why I am returning it and did a sniff test on the items. I was mortified and insulted. And it is not like I had the clothes for ages, it was Monday and I have bought them on Saturday (they are closed on Sunday). And I did not ask for money back but got something else instead. I have not returned to that store since. Mirp on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555950 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 12:15:56 +0000 Mirp 555950@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm a returnacholic -- I always make sure I know the rerun policy and put the date in my calender so I do not forget. I'm trying to live in the now -- so unless it is for a special occasion --if I purchase something and do not use in with in 28 days (the standard return period in the UK) back it goes to the store. I never feel bad; especially with online purchases as you have to try it on for fit. I also think the reason there are so many offers for "free" shipping is because once the item is in the customer's home most of them cannot be bothered to go through the hassle of sending it back -- so they say I'll hive it to my sister/ cousin friend -- etc. I may be less profitable than the average consumer but the retailers are more than happy with me as a customer as they are still making money. Jjsloane on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555942 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 11:53:49 +0000 Jjsloane 555942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I buy. I return. I buy. I return. LOTS. I feel badly if I don't have my receipt, but only attempt those returns at Nordstrom or the Rack so they are quite patient and can look up my card. I do find if I'm not purchasing something else I will make an excuse that DH did not like it, or I hadn't had a chance to try it on when I bought. I was in retail for awhile too. In stores where you are accountable for your daily sales and all you have are returns that day it can be tough. I get that feeling when I return to WHBM or Loft or BR. The sales people tend to have a certain attitude if you decline to "look around for something else". Irene on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555922 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 09:38:38 +0000 Irene 555922@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There's no shame in being picky and demanding. I know nobody except my mom who returns stuff as much as I do. My friends don't understand how I can return things. That's because they settle for less than I do. As simple as that. I've become even pickier than my mom lately and I find nothing wrong with that. I almost always get compliments on fit, style and color, and it's because I try not to settle for less than 'perfect for me'. jenanded on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555921 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 09:17:21 +0000 jenanded 555921@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thats super interesting Christieanne, but think my behaviours are very like Cocolion's in that things can be so different in store to the reality of me dressing at 7am at my house which is THE litmus test for style, comfort, versatility etc... I am guilty of sometimes going to a different shopping centre to return though... As for mail order... There are some places that I have just stopped shopping from/getting their catalogues etc as they have been consistently bad quality. If its something I already have seen etc and I want that colour in my size, thats a different story. OR if I have 'window-shopped' and decided to think about it over night, then ordering it straight from the site and that reduces the number of return visits which are time consuming! Louise on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555913 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 08:50:59 +0000 Louise 555913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It was good to a retailer perspective from christeanne. I return *loads* I have a parcel en route from New Look and I know at *least* 2 of the items will be going as I ordered 2 different items in 2 different sizes more than likely it will all go back. I also have £300+ worth of stuff sitting in my M&S online shopping basket. I keep adding to it over a couple of weeks then I can take things out that I change my mind on and add new stuff as its added to the store, I get to save postage this way! Again from past experience I will probably keep at most 2 items, more than likely the whole lot will go back. There used to be a time when I'd be distraught that nothing fit right, now I don't sweat it because I'm more picky. I look at it the other way, that the shop should see returns as their fault; if the stuff was fantastic you wouldn't be returning it? X CocoLion on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555903 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 07:50:52 +0000 CocoLion 555903@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Really interesting to hear a retailer's perspective Christieanne. I return a lot of things. I tend to over buy, then see if what I've picked mixes with my current assortment. If it does not, that is a reason to return. Another reason is, "what was I thinking," and then there's the "this flattered me in the store, but looks bad at home" due to inaccurate mirrors. I've rarely had bad experiences returning things, the only place I did was Barney's. I don't want to go back now. 90% of when I return something to a store I like, I will walk out with something new to replace the money I got back, sometimes spending even more. So the return gets me back in the store. christieanne on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555895 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 07:22:18 +0000 christieanne 555895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As someone who has been in retail for more than 25 years (and you wonder why I needed a sanity break?) and in management for 20, I can tell you all not to sweat it. Really, the sales associate/return counter person is not judging. The only thing that is hard about a return in most shops these days is when the customer does not have a receipt. Even then with most computer systems, the SA needs to match the item with form of payment or a loyalty card (so if you buy with cash - save the receipt) and may need an id. If you pay attention to a company's return policy and don't expect to have exceptions made to that (which happens A LOT - that is the customer we privately bemoan in the back office) then honestly, it is a simple punch in the reason in computer, and get you back to your day. Shop away, return away and do not feel the least bit bad returning Retailers average between 10-15% of total purchases returned depending on the store! You are so not alone. Michelle on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555884 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 06:04:45 +0000 Michelle 555884@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Honestly, the sales associates probably see so many ill-advised purchases in the course of their day that they'd probably label you as a rare breed of discerning shopper when they saw you making a return. There's no shame whatsoever in taking a sober second look at a garment and deciding that, while it's ok, only the best will do for you. :) I don't struggle with returners' guilt, just returners' rage. I hate hate hate going back to stores only to stand in line and walk away with nothing, and don't even get me started on posting international returns back to the states. In that case I'm out of pocket time and money. A big fail all around. lyn* on "The shame of returns..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-shame-of-returns#post-555872 Sat, 03 Mar 2012 05:29:53 +0000 lyn* 555872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I return all the time but have returner's guilt too! Especially when the SA looks at you and asks what's wrong with it. Lately I've been saying, "It doesn't fit me, that's what's wrong with it." LOL.